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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28191891">On the Verge of Change</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlettpeony/pseuds/Legacy_Scarlettpeony'>Legacy_Scarlettpeony (Scarlettpeony)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The 'To You, An Admirer' Series [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, No Beta, Old Fic, Series 1 canon only, unbetaed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2009-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2009-12-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:15:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>122,995</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28191891</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlettpeony/pseuds/Legacy_Scarlettpeony</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Albion is on the verge of war. When Arthur and Gwen fall in love with each other through circumstances beyond their control their entire world is set to change forever especially when they come to the attention of Uther and Arthur's aunt, the powerful Queen Anna. Meanwhile, Merlin tries to help Morgana decode a recurring dream prophesising imminent change.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Morgana (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The 'To You, An Admirer' Series [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2064168</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally published to LiveJournal between 04/01/2009 - 28/03/2010.</p><blockquote>
  <p><br/>Rating: PG-13/12/T<br/>Characters: Arthur, Gwen, Morgana, Merlin, Gaius, Uther, The Dragon, OC and semi-OC characters.<br/>Pairings: Arthur/Gwen, Merlin/Morgana. Slight Gwen/Merlin, Arthur/Merlin (Pre-slash)<br/>Overall summary: Albion is on the verge of war. When Arthur and Gwen fall in love with each other through circumstances beyond their control their entire world is set to change forever especially when they come to the attention of Uther and Arthur's aunt, the powerful Queen Anna. Meanwhile, Merlin tries to help Morgana decode a recurring dream prophesising imminent change.<br/></p>
</blockquote>Please note that this series began mid-way through Series 1 and was completed before the show's completion. Therefore, certain characters will be different. Comments are switched off as this fic has been posted for archival purposes only.
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the big meeting of the Privy Council. The main topic that was on the members’ minds was the celebrations of Midsummer, a minor compared to May Day but still an exciting date on the calendar for the younger members of the court, which had recently past without a hitch. The older members often wished they could just leave it to the younger nobility to make a mess of.</p><p>Once that was out of the way they moved on to more pressing issues, which was planning improvements to the lower quarter of the city.</p><p>Gaius had seen too many meetings of the Privy Council during his years in service to Camelot. He was always required to sit there on give his input over the issues of hygiene and city improvement in the lower quarter of town. One of the members stated that there had been complaints of looting, robbery and damage done in the lower quarters by ‘people or person unknown.’</p><p>This was the issue that Arthur had been waiting to be brought up at the meeting. He had been hearing complaints about it for a while and yet nothing was ever done about it. Uther had always been more distracted by witches and wizards and other threats to the city. Arthur couldn’t hold it against him. He knew witchcraft was an evil. Nonetheless the thought of Gwen living in the middle of a hotspot for crime…</p><p>“I think we should increase patrols in the lower quarters of the city,” Arthur suddenly said. The other looked at him. “I know it goes without saying but I have had first hand experience of the crime down there.”</p><p>“Was this when you were on patrol?” Uther said, asking the obvious.</p><p>“A few months ago,” Arthur nodded. He then shifted awkwardly, thinking of the many <em>other</em> journeys he had made to that area of the city – when he <em>wasn’t</em> on patrol. “Merlin and I came face to face with some of these characters. They attacked Guinevere—that is—Morgana’s handmaiden—and tried to rob her.”</p><p>Uther sat with his chin resting in his hands, considering the story. “Have there been any more recent cases?”</p><p>Arthur tilted his head. “We wouldn’t be talking about it if it wasn’t.”</p><p>The nobles at the table all looked at each other, nodding. Uther sighed and nodded and turned to the head of the night watchmen. “Is it possible for you to expand the amount of guard around the lower quarters of the city?”</p><p>“It’ll take me at least a week to overlook my numbers,” he explained. “If I haven’t enough numbers then I won’t be able to expand presence in the lower quarters of the city without taking watchmen away from the upper quarters.”</p><p>Uther sat back, clearly not keen to do that.</p><p>Arthur stepped in again. “The upper quarters of the city could be patrolled by the royal guard until you are able to find more men?”</p><p>“Then who would watch those of us <em>inside</em> the castle?” Uther asked, without looking at his son.</p><p>“I highly doubt it would take more than fifteen or so men to patrol the upper quarters of the city,” the prince pointed out. “If you don’t mind my saying so, father, but the lower quarters of the city is considerably smaller than the lower parts…”</p><p>“And what if these the crime migrates to the upper quarters?” asked Ector. “I doubt the wealthier members of our fair city will appreciate the lack of protection on their property. It’s all very well to have the royal guard patrol there, but I think they’d prefer the normal thirty strong night watchmen than only fifteen guards.”</p><p>“If I might input,” Gaius said suddenly. Uther nodded and he continued. “I think the prince’s point is that the upper quarters don’t need the extra protection for this situation.”</p><p>Arthur nodded, “It is also unlikely that these thieves tormenting the people of the lower city will migrate to the higher city. These men aren’t master criminals, just petty thieves.”</p><p>He almost said that the idea of having fifteen of the royal guard patrolling the street would flatter the higher class of citizen, but he didn’t from fear of it being thought as ‘bad taste.’ He looked to his father.</p><p>Uther considered everything in his head before answering. He leant forward, “I think we could try this idea as a… trial, could we not?”</p><p>The members murmured conceding it was possible.</p><p>“Then how do we solve the problem of the lack of royal guard in the castle?” asked Sir Caradoc. “I hate to point it out sire,” he said looking at Uther bowing his head respectably, “but our dear citadel has hardly been… peaceful… over the last year.”</p><p>“Neither has the city itself,” Arthur retorted.</p><p>Arthur hated getting into arguments at the Privy Council but often the older members irritated him. He admitted to himself that his reason for wanting an increase of the guard in the lower quarters of the city was personal. He had seen some shady characters hanging around the area where Gwen lived, and he hated the idea of her living in environments like that… alone. He had nightmares of such people breaking into her home and doing unthinkable things to both the house and to her.</p><p>He grasped the arms of his chair. “I think that while the watchmen are in the lower quarters, and some of the royal guard are in the upper quarters; the knights of Camelot should be on guard duty.”</p><p>There was a long silence.</p><p>Arthur went on, “Obviously I don’t mean the elder knights. I am talking about the younger knights such as Kay and Percival. If I can go on watch with the watchmen then I see no reason the knights of Camelot can’t patrol a corridor for a few nights a week.”</p><p>Uther watched his son with interest.</p><p>“Let it be done,” he said. “I will discuss the exact plans later this week with both of you,” he said to the heads of the night watchmen and the royal guard. He looked at Arthur, “I expect you to find volunteers for the ‘knight’ watchmen.”</p><p>There was a small snigger from the men at the table. Arthur nodded and smiled; he felt a small jolt of triumph. It was a small triumph, though. The greatest triumph would be to have Gwen in the same house as him, in the castle. But it was blind, wishful thinking. At least it was as long as his father had anything to do with it.</p><p>“Now,” the king began, deciding it was time to move on. “I fear I now have some rather sad news concerning some of our allies in the north of Albion. They say war could break out at any moment. If a war were to break out between Claudius and Urien, then it would likely lead to a break in the engagement between Prince Claudius and Princess Elaine, as Urien is the brother of King Lot, and therefore Elaine’s uncle.”</p><p>The nobles looked at each other.</p><p>“Good riddance I say” said Ector. “Prince Claudius has been asking for trouble since his father died. I hope Lot sweeps up the blighter.”</p><p>There was a faint laugh. “Be quiet,” Uther warned him with a smile. “We don’t want the ambassador of Gorre to hear you say that.”</p><p>Arthur snapped out of his Guinevere-induced-daze and spoke up again. “I don’t understand, father, are you saying that the breakdown in relations between Lot and Claudius is a good thing or a bad thing?”</p><p>“It depends on how you look at it,” the king whispered quietly behind a cup of wine. He looked up and smiled, “We will have to wait and see how it all pans out.”</p><p>-</p><p>Morgana sat by her bedroom window as the bright, hot sun baked her with light. She let out a great sigh and leant her face against the cold stonewall. She felt so bored. The only sounds there were was people talking outside in the courtyard, bird chirping outside, her own breathing, and Gwen folding away sheets behind her.</p><p>She looked behind her to see the hard working serving girl fold away bed sheets neatly and put away dresses carefully. Gwen rubbed the glow of her forehead from all the work and, instinctively, Morgana did the same although she wasn’t doing anything.</p><p>“You’re so good, Gwen.”</p><p>“Thank you, Morgana.”</p><p>Gwen continued with work while Morgana continued to watch her. “Where do you find the energy, Gwen?” she asked, a small smile appearing.</p><p>The handmaiden stopped and looked at her, smiling placidly. “How’d you mean?”</p><p>“I expect” she said carefully, “that Arthur keeps you busy.”</p><p>If Morgana were to be more frank it would have been deemed improper, but she did wonder where Gwen found all her energy between waiting on her hand and foot, and having her head banged against a headboard by Arthur.</p><p>Gwen couldn’t help laughing, embarrassed at Morgana’s words. Morgana looked away as Gwen composed herself again.</p><p>She took a deep breath, “It’s not exactly like that… what I mean is—well, it doesn’t, you know, take up much energy…”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Morgana suddenly said, rubbing her eyes. “The heat is getting to me.”</p><p>“Shall I open a window?” she asked, returning to the role of the docile servant. She finished folding another sheet went towards the closest window. “It’s really stuffy in here…”</p><p>Morgana stood and opened the window she was sitting by. A momentary cooling breeze seeped in. She closed her eyes and breathed it in. As she opened her eyes again they focused on Merlin coming down the large steps of the main entrance. He strolled across the courtyard minding his own business. In the heat he wasn’t wearing his neckerchief. Like everyone else he was just lazily wandering about trying to pass the day.</p><p>For all his powers he was completely unaware Morgana was watching him. She took a deep breath and leant her head against the frame. Everyone she looked she seemed to see him these days. Since that day when he saved Gawain after that joust all she could think about was that power. She wondered how such divine power could exist in such a naïve and adorable young man. It made her smile when she thought about it. He probably had the power to kill as well as take life, yet everything he did for other people was so good and selfless.</p><p>He even soothed her bad dreams.</p><p>He did one simple spell and not one bad dream for the last month or so. Afterwards he said maybe the reason they had stopped was because the event had happened – Gawain falling off his horse. Morgana wasn’t sure. There was still too much left unanswered. She was starting to think that Merlin was right when he said the event wasn’t due to happen until winter. Part of her wanted summer to stay forever, dreading autumn and winter. The heat was tolerable if it meant there was longer to wait for the nightmare to become reality.</p><p>But now without the dreams to threat over she found herself feeling bored; she was drinking just as much as he had been before he did the spell and the only fulfilling point in her days were when Merlin came to see her to teach her magic.</p><p>It wasn’t just her desire to find out more about the abilities gifted to her. She just wanted to be close to him. The power she could feel from him got stronger and stronger the closer she got. While they were working she often brushed his hand, leant close over his shoulder so her face was closer than proper to his. Merlin was too daft to realise what she was try to do but he did sometimes squirm when she got a little too close to him.</p><p>She knew he could sense her magic too. For someone of his power it was probably twice as strong for him. But it wasn’t just the fact they shared magic. There was something else.</p><p>“Gwen,” she said, turning away from the window. “I don’t have much left for you to do today. Is there any time you’d… like to be gone by?”</p><p>This was like code. Morgana knew that Gwen was probably going to see Arthur that evening, and they had probably set a time for their meeting. It was a subtle way of sorting the times. She could let Gwen go without asking her directly.</p><p>Gwen awkwardly looked away and started folding the sheets more awkwardly. “Um… I don’t know. When would you,” she paused and looked at her, “…no longer need me?”</p><p>Morgana pretended to think but she knew exactly when, “I’d say around five o’clock before dinner should be fine.”</p><p>“Would you like me to return in the evening?” Gwen asked.</p><p>“If you aren’t busy then… maybe you could pop your head around the door before I go to bed.” Gwen nodded and went on with her work. Morgana watched her for a moment again before interrupting again. “Gwen?”</p><p>“Hmm”</p><p>“Are you alright?”</p><p>Gwen looked up and forced a smile, “I’m fine.”</p><p>Morgana grew concerned, “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine,” the handmaiden replied, stopping work again. “It’s just…”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>Gwen sighed, “I feel so awkward.”</p><p>“Awkward?”</p><p>“Like everyone is watching me,” she replied, “Like everyone knows.”</p><p>Morgana shook her head. “I’m sure they don’t. At least Uther doesn’t, and he’s the one you want to worry about.”</p><p>Gwen slumped into a chair and rubbed her face again. Morgana went over to her and settled beside her. Gwen sat in silence for a moment before she spoke. “I just feel like my life is hurtling ahead of me, after everything that has happened…”</p><p>Morgana straight away thought of Tom, “Your father?”</p><p>Gwen nodded.</p><p>She tried to think of what her father would think of her, were he still there. Would he have approved of her relationship with Arthur? Certainly not; his dreams for her were to marry well, someone of their own station but well-made. In fact he probably expected her to one day marry Merlin. Never in his dreams would her father have dreamed of her being the object of a prince’s affections.</p><p>But what would he say if his ghost were to come back now and see her life?</p><p>“I feel as if,” she finally said. “I wonder sometimes if I am compromising my… virtue.”</p><p>“You mean by your relationship with Arthur?” Morgana asked. Gwen said nothing. “He hadn’t… put pressure on you, has he?”</p><p>Gwen shot her a shocked look; “No, of course not!”</p><p>Morgana tilted her head. “So, what’s the problem?”</p><p>“I keep thinking of what my father would think if he was still here,” Gwen explained. “I wonder if… he’d think less of me. When he died, that was when Arthur and I… anyway, part of me wonders how my father would feel if he were alive to know what I’ve…”</p><p>“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Morgana told her.</p><p>“That’s just it!” Gwen told her. “I’m not ashamed. I just… wonder. When my father died I lost everything. I have no family, no money saved. I couldn’t even afford to keep my own home with what I earn in the palace. If it wasn’t for Arthur I wouldn’t have any of it. I’d be homeless or…worse.”</p><p>It was Arthur who made sure she kept her job at the palace after her father’s death, and it was Arthur who had paid off all her father’s debts. The irony was that the debts that had been weighing her down were barely a dent in Arthur’s pocket. Most women would die to have a rich man looking after them (let alone a prince) but, although she loved him, it also reminded her station.</p><p>Gwen took a deep breath. “But the fact is that now, in my life, there is nothing except him. When I’m with him I can forget about the troubles in life. I can forget about Uther, forget about my father’s death, and forget about <em>everything</em>. I don’t know. I wonder sometimes if…”</p><p>Morgana laid a hand on Gwen shoulder, smiling. “That doesn’t matter. If your father were alive, he’d want the best for you. He’d want you to be happy.”</p><p>Gwen nodded, looking away in thought. “Sometimes,” she finally said. “I think Arthur is the only one that keeps me going.”</p><p>-</p><p>After the meeting was brought to a close and the members began to vacate the room, Uther watched as the old men struggled to their feet as opposed to Arthur who sprang to his feet straight away. Arthur watched as the members shuffled out, tapping his foot, wanting to leave too.</p><p>“Gaius,” said Uther. “I’d like you to stay for a moment.”</p><p>Gaius knew bad news was coming wherever Uther wanted him to stay behind. If it wasn’t the plague it was something to do with magic. If it was neither of those things it was always something to do with Arthur or Merlin or Morgana. Either way he dreaded it.</p><p>Uther looked at Arthur and smiled. “There is no need for you to remain. You may go.”</p><p>The prince didn’t wait for his father to change his mind and strode out of the room as quickly as possible. He had one or things to do because his evening meeting with Gwen, and he had to find Merlin to make sure their stories were clear.</p><p>Once the room was empty except for the king and the physician there was a long silence before Uther smiled his frightening smile, the one that assured you a wicked plot or plan was on the way.</p><p>“Sire,” Gaius said politely.</p><p>“Gaius,” he began. “I feel that as one of my most trusted subjects, and one of my oldest friends, you should hear the news from me first.”</p><p>“What news, sire?”</p><p>Uther decided to hold on to the news a little longer. “I have been thinking recently, of the days of twenty years ago. Before that, in fact, when I first came to this land, when I first became king here, and when Igraine, Tristan and Gorlois were all still alive. Do you recall, Gaius?”</p><p>Gaius nodded. “I remember, sire.”</p><p>“Yes,” Uther nodded. “Igraine, Tristan and little Anna; you wouldn’t have thought that girl would go on to be one of the most powerful queens in Albion.”</p><p>“I seem to recall that she was very strong-willed,” Gaius replied. “She was merely a child when your sister brought her here. Very naive and adventurous but brave as a lion. She was engaged to Lot since childhood and chose to go there of her own accord.”</p><p>“I certainly was please,” he swallowed, comparing the rebellious and outgoing Anna to the quiet and introverted Igraine. He finished, “Back then I was certain she would cause a scandal of some sort. I would never have taken her for the matriarch she has become.”</p><p>Gaius nodded, “She grew up, sire.”</p><p>“Yes,” Uther said. He finally decided to come to the point he was building up to. “I won’t lie to you, Gaius. The news of Prince Claudius’s behaviour had pleased me greatly.”</p><p>Gaius raised his eyebrows, “Sire?”</p><p>“For the last few months,” Uther explained. “I have been exchanging letters with Lot and Anna about a possible match for Arthur.”</p><p>The Orkney clan were probably the most powerful family in the country, next to the family of King Pellinore, and the Pendragon family itself. It was also well known that Lot and Pellinore had a long-standing rivalry, and Uther always found himself in the middle due to his "loyalty" to Anna. This rivalry had stayed strong over the last twenty years and both kings had tried to ‘out breed’ each other.</p><p>“Claudius is a long time enemy of King Pellinore, isn’t he?”</p><p>Uther nodded, “Indeed, he is.”</p><p>Gaius saw why Uther was pleased. It was known throughout the land that Elaine had been claimed by Claudius, much to many princes’ and kings’ disappointment. It had been thought a move against Pellinore – whose only daughter had joined nunnery; whose wife and two eldest sons lived in exile in Uther’s kingdom, and who had recently lost his nephew in that <em>unfortunate</em> incident of The Black Knight. If Lot were enemies with Claudius then that would give Pellinore and Lot a chance to put their differences aside and fight a common cause.</p><p>“Do you suppose that Pellinore will try and secure Elaine for one of his sons?”</p><p>Uther shook his head, “Anna would never allow it. They might make a weak and flimsy alliance between two of the younger children but Anna will never give Elaine to one of Pellinore’s sons. Besides the only two old enough to marry her are Percival and Lamorak, and they chose to live here.”</p><p>Gaius knew what was coming. “Does Lot already have a suitor in mind for his daughter?”</p><p>Uther smiled, “As if you haven’t already guessed.”</p><p>It was not as if Gaius had not seen it coming. When Merlin had mentioned Elaine to him several months ago it occurred to him that Uther was fishing to try and secure her for Arthur to marry. There was no doubt that Claudius’s betrayal was long time coming and Uther had been planning this match for a long time.</p><p>Yet, by his dismissal of Arthur just then it was clear he had not told the groom-to-be yet.</p><p>“I’d like to see Arthur married within the next year or so,” Uther explained. “I have for a long time hoped it would be to either Morgana or Elaine. It is not only foreign policy I choose Elaine. It is personal also. I can tell that a marriage between Arthur and Morgana may not be as… effective… in producing the next heirs of Camelot.”</p><p>Gaius nodded. “Anna is gifted with great fertility, so in all likelihood Elaine shall be as well.”</p><p>“I don’t want Arthur to go through what I did,” Uther told Gaius. His voice was now breaking as memories of years without an heir, of Igraine stroking an empty womb, and of the cost it took to finally have Arthur flooded into his mind. “I don’t want him making the same mistakes.”</p><p>There was a long pause.</p><p>“Besides,” Uther finished. “A marriage between my son and Anna’s daughter; it is what Igraine would have wanted.”</p><p>-</p><p>During the lunch hour before he was due to stand and watch Arthur throw his sword at a barrel of hay, Merlin decided to quickly find a transformation spell to teach Morgana. He had to find the simplest spell he could possibly find, the one for inanimate objects. Morgana had the potential but she also seemed to find it difficult to say the spells correctly, or remember them. He had just spent the last three weeks trying to show her how to light a candle.</p><p>After finishing making a sandwich for himself he put together left over cheese, vegetables and chicken from yesterday’s dinner in a small bowl.</p><p>He looked up at Gaius as he came in. “How was the meeting?”</p><p>“Long” Gaius said, not in the mood to tell Merlin the exact details. He was certainly not going to tell Merlin about Uther’s plans for Arthur. He saw the bowl of mashed-up leftovers and looked at him. “I hope you’re not going to eat that.”</p><p>“Of course not,” Merlin replied with a smile. He put it on the floor. “It’s for Howell and Fach.”</p><p>As soon as the bowl hit the ground the two puppies rushed out of Merlin’s room, down the stairs and into the main room where they began to scoff the food. Gaius lowered his eyes, pretending not to be moved by the adorableness of the pair.</p><p>Gaius snorted, “Incidentally when do you plan on getting rid of this pair. You promised me that you’d find a home for them.”</p><p>Merlin tucked his book under his arm and picked up his sandwich. “And I will, within the next few days, go around and find homes for both of them.”</p><p>The old man nodded, picking up a book. “One of them chewed up by book of the history of the Roman Empire throughout the centuries the other day.”</p><p>The young man grinned, “Oh come off it, Gaius! You’ve grown attached to Howell, admit it.”</p><p>Gaius sat down with his glasses at the end of his nose, trying to ignore him. “I don’t know what you mean.”</p><p>“I’ve seen you giving him food from the table even though you told me not to,” Merlin accused him. “The reason Fach is small is because she’s not spoilt.”</p><p>“Merlin,” the old man said firmly. “My point is that if you don’t find a home for them soon we are going to have two fully grown dogs in the house. Worst of all they are male and female.”</p><p>“I told you,” he said. “I’ll find a home for them. I mean Howell could just work with the other hunting dogs. Arthur and I lost one the other day.”</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>“It just ran off and didn’t come back,” Merlin said sadly. “It’s not fair. I looked for it but…” he went back to the point, “I told Arthur that if he needed another one then Howell would do.”</p><p>“Fine” Gaius said. He looked at the other dog. “That’s Howell sorted, but what about Fach. She’s took small and docile to be a hunting dog.”</p><p>Merlin looked over at the small little brachet sitting in the corner nibbling a piece of chicken. “I’ll find a family who want a dog, maybe someone in the castle – or a lonely old lady? Someone who needs the company.”</p><p>“Good,” Gaius said, looking back at his work. He was glad that his work would now be safe, although, he admitted, he had become fond of the two puppies. His looked up as Merlin walked towards his room. He eyed the magic book, “Studying, were you?”</p><p>Merlin turned to face him, looked at the book, and then back to Gaius. “Um, not exactly…”</p><p>Gaius sighed, “You’re still teaching Morgana magic, then?”</p><p>He said nothing.</p><p>“You realise the dangers, I suppose?” he went on.</p><p>Merlin rolled his eyes. “You walked me through all of them when I first started teaching her.”</p><p>“You didn’t listen, did you?”</p><p>The young warlock sighed, working out what he wanted to say. It was hard to explain it to Gaius because it wasn’t him with the power gift. Merlin wanted to show his gifts to people who understood. He wanted to pass on his knowledge to someone else. He wanted to share his knowledge with someone who had the ability to understand it.</p><p>“It’s not like I’m teaching her my secrets,” Merlin told him. “I never let her see the magic book and she only learns the spells I choose to show her.”</p><p>“For now, yes,” Gaius said, slamming his own book shut. “What happens when you run out of simple magic tricks to teach her? What happens when she gets bored with it?” Merlin shrugged. Gaius went on, “She’ll ask you to show her one powerful spell and before you know it you’re showing her everything to know.”</p><p>“That’s never going to happen,” Merlin assured him. “I told myself a long time ago that I would keep the spell book to myself and that is the way it will stay.”</p><p>Gaius sighed. He stood and walked over to Merlin, no longer angry or annoyed. “I understand how isolated you have felt before now, having your powers and yet having no one your own age to show them to. I know that even if Morgana knew every spell you do she wouldn’t be able to match your ability because of your uniqueness. You have mastered the power of the elements. You have mastered the power of life and death… powers that magicians twice as power as Morgana could only dream of. I’m just worried that…”</p><p>Merlin looked at him, “What?”</p><p>Gaius smiled, “You’re too trusting.”</p><p>After a moment’s pause, Merlin returned the smile and nodded. “Yeah, maybe I am. It’s because I have faith in people.”</p><p>The old man nodded, “It’s good to have faith in people. Just… <em>watch your back</em>. Remember that despite Morgana being his ward, Uther would still execute her if he felt keeping her alive compromised the law.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“And remember that Uther has suspicions about the two of you,” Gaius reminded him.</p><p>Merlin’s head shot up. “That was nearly two months ago! Has he said something—?”</p><p>“No,” the old man replied. “He has other things on his mind at the moment.”</p><p>Merlin stared at him. “Do you think he knows… that we practise magic?”</p><p>“No,” Gaius said again. He turned back to sit back in his chair. “He probably thinks you’re doing something…slightly different.”</p><p>The young man stood, book underarm and sandwich in hand, staring at him for a moment. When he finally realised what Gaius meant his ears turned red in embarrassment. He looked away and quickly disappeared into his room.</p><p>“T-t-that’s just silly!” he declared before slamming the door behind him.</p><p>
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<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The evening brought a cool breeze over the city. Gwen walked along the green area outside the castle. She closed her eyes and embraced the rustling of the trees, the low sunshine, and the snap of the grass under her feet. It felt too pleasant for words. After being stuck inside all day, an evening in the clear air was just what she needed.<br/><br/>She looked over her shoulder and saw the knights leisurely walking back into the castle with their arms around some of the young ladies of the court. They didn’t notice her but she waited until they had gone before she disappeared into forestry to get out of sight.<br/><br/>Gwen wandered through the trees, further until she came to the clearing near the hill where summer flowers were in bloom. She sighed. Suddenly, she heard a rustle behind one of the trees. She turned and went over to see what it was. Looking behind the tree trunk she saw nothing.<br/><br/>She took a deep, frustrated breath and stepped backwards. At that moment someone came up, taking hold of her from behind. Gwen let out a surprised yelp as the perpetrator chuckled at the reaction. He kept hold of her, burying his face into her shoulder.<br/><br/>“It <em>never</em> gets old,” Arthur declared, kissing her neck. “Not many women squeal like you do, Guinevere. I like it.”<br/><br/>She took a deep breath, relaxing against him. “Why do you always have to sneak up on me like that?”<br/><br/>“Because I enjoy it,” he said simply, still smiling. “And – even though you won’t admit it – so do you.”<br/><br/>She eased her way out of his arms and turned to face him. They were still at a stage in their relationship where just the sight of him made her feel smitten. The feeling him close by, solid and real, made her feel her infatuation. He put her arms around her and kissed her.<br/><br/>Gwen sighed, still in the embrace, laying her head again him. “How has your day been?”<br/><br/>“Boring,” he replied plainly, finding it difficult to even remember what he had done that day, “<em>Very boring</em>. I had that meeting with the Privy Council I told you about.”<br/><br/>“How did it go?” she asked.<br/><br/>She was trying to sound interested, which was something he appreciated. Not many people understood the boredom that was entailed with the role of bring a prince. People thought it was all about glory and excitement.<br/><br/>“It was fine,” he told her. “The only valuable thing I did all day was increase the guard in the lower quarters of the city.”<br/><br/>“That’s commendable of you,” she replied, smiling.<br/><br/>“I’ve been thinking of bringing it up for a while,” he explained. “After what happened to you… and those other stories you’ve told me, about what can happen if you go out at night…”<br/><br/>“I know,” Gwen replied. “But there will always be crime, Arthur.”<br/><br/>“I just wish that we lived in a country where people could leave their doors open for five minutes without someone looting money or food from them,” Arthur went on. He put his arm around her as they walked further into the field. “Apparently it’s worse in the outer regions.”<br/><br/>“Well, they’re under more threat,” she replied. “Not just from thieves but from wild animals as well.”<br/><br/>Arthur sighed and took one of Gwen’s hands, grasping it between his palms.<br/><br/>“Was that all you talked about at the meeting?” she asked.<br/><br/>“No, there’s more. One of our royal cousins is stirring up trouble in the north,” he explained. “Nothing we didn’t really see coming, apparently.”<br/><br/>That caught Gwen’s attention. “How’d you mean?”<br/><br/>“Oh,” he said, forgetting Gwen didn’t know much about foreign policy, in his ease with her. “Well, basically, my aunt Anna’s brother-in-law’s kingdom has been attacked by Prince Claudius. He’s about Merlin’s age and twice as daft.”<br/><br/>He told her this with a cheeky grin. Gwen couldn’t help laughing too even though she felt she shouldn’t. She lay flat on her back and looked up at the sky, her body side by side with Arthur.<br/><br/>“You’re mean,” she finally said.<br/><br/>“Speaking of Merlin,” Arthur said, lifting his finger as if making a point. “He and Morgana seem to be getting on well. Everything seems to be going ‘full circle’ with us four.”<br/><br/>“Well, he serves her while I’m—”<br/><br/>“’Servicing me’?” Arthur finished. They lay in silence for a moment while Arthur ran something over in his head. A thought suddenly occurred to him. He turned his head to look at her, “You don’t think they’re…?”<br/><br/>Gwen looked at him, “What?”<br/><br/>“You know,” he said, nodding his head and smirking, “…doing what we’re doing.”<br/><br/>They both laughed at the suggestion.<br/><br/>“No,” Gwen finally said. “Not yet, anyway. I could tell.”<br/><br/>“Sorry, it was a silly suggestion,” Arthur agreed. “Merlin wouldn’t know what to do with her.”<br/><br/>Gwen stretched, “I don’t know. If he was in the right mood, at the right time, in the right place…”<br/><br/>Arthur smirked, the idea hilarious. “Anyway, the ins and outs of it is that my uncle Lot is now enemies with Claudius, meaning he and King Pellinore—”<br/><br/>“Sir Pellinore’s uncle?”<br/><br/>“And Percival’s father, yes” Arthur replied. He lump in throat briefly appeared as he thought of The Black Knight. “Lot and Pellinore now share a common enemy in Claudius, meaning my father can go in there playing negotiator and no doubt get something out of it himself, though I fail to see what.”<br/><br/>Gwen listened, thinking of what he said. It all sounded very complicated. All three of the men involved sounded like greedy land, grabbers. She didn’t want to say anything against Arthur’s uncle, so all she could think to say was: “Pellinore doesn’t sound like a nice person.”<br/><br/>“Lady Percival would agree with you,” Arthur said. “I admire Pellinore for the warrior he is… but he does have a death wish. Then again my uncle Lot isn’t especially nice either.”<br/><br/>“Well—”<br/><br/>“I could hear your brain ticking away,” he said grinning, “Trying to spare my feelings.”<br/><br/>“Well,” she said turning on her side to look at him, “I hate saying bad things about people I haven’t even met.”<br/><br/>“You’re too good, that’s why.”<br/><br/>“Not <em>too</em> good,” she said, a hint of seduction in her voice that surprised even her. She almost started backtracking but she started laughing instead when she saw the expression on his face.<br/><br/>“What?” he said.<br/><br/>She placed her hand on his cheek, and smiled. “You look pretty when you’re confused.”<br/><br/>She leant over him, and he pulled her in for another kiss. In the evening, in the breeze, in the middle of a field of flowers Gwen felt it was bliss. Sometimes she wondered if moments like this were just dreams and she’d wake up in her bed alone. Feeling him against her, every sinew of him, it reminded her it was real. As he deepened the kiss, she placed her hand on Arthur’s chest, smoothing down his tunic towards his stomach.<br/><br/>Arthur reacted by suddenly breaking the kiss to clear his throat, trying to hide his arousal, realising quickly it wasn’t the time or the place for it. Or at least it wasn’t the place. He quickly got to his feet and grabbed her hand to pull her to her feet. “Come on.”<br/><br/>“Where are we going?” she asked, laughing.<br/><br/>“To… walk it off,” he said turning to face her with a smile. “I’m at the risk of doing something dishonourable right in front of Mother Nature if we stay like <em>that</em> much longer.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Morgana found it difficult to get the words of the spell off the tip of her tongue. In some ways her spell lessons reminded her of when she was younger and her tutors were teaching her Latin. She would struggle to pronounce the words then, and they would scold her for not trying hard enough. Merlin was nothing like her Latin tutor.<br/><br/>“When you say it,” he explained, gesturing with his hand, “say it like you have a bread crumb stuck in your throat.”<br/><br/>She did as he said, the sound coming out like a hissing cat with a cold. They both laughed. He tried to explain further. “Try and do it with an ‘h’ sound… <em>hun</em> <em>arall</em> <em>ffurfia</em>… and remember to picture a pear in your mind.”<br/><br/>Morgana turned to look at an apple that Merlin had set up. The object was to try and turn it into a pear. He assured her that perfecting the changing of one fruit into another was the first step of changing stone creatures into living creatures, as he demonstrated the day before when he turned a stone dove into a real one.<br/><br/>“Right,” she said, holding out her hand dramatically as if it would add effect. Merlin smirked, knowing he had been guilty of doing the same thing many times. She cleared her throat, “<em>Hun arall ffufia</em>!”<br/><br/>They waited for a moment but nothing happened. Morgana sighed.<br/><br/>“Are you thinking of the pear?”<br/><br/>“Merlin,” she said firmly. “I’m thinking of nothing but pears.”<br/><br/>“Okay,” he said, trying to think of what to do next, “Try thinking of the apple turning into and pear. That often helps me.”<br/><br/>She raised an eyebrow, “You do this often then? Turn apples into pears.”<br/><br/>“Okay when I have a craving,” he replied with a grin.<br/><br/>She shook her head at him and tried again, thinking of the apple turning into a pear. “<em>Hun arall ffufia…</em>” but still nothing happened, “<em>Hun arall ffufia!</em>”<br/><br/>Morgana looked at Merlin.<br/><br/>“Okay, let’s try something different,” he said, letting out a sigh. He looked at the apple and, without the dramatic pointing, said the words lyrically, “<em>Afal i mewn i ellygen…</em>”<br/><br/>On his word the apple warped into the shape of a pear like a mould of clay and set. Merlin stood, picked it up and brought it over to her. Morgana took it, briefly brushing her fingers with his and setting off the sparks again. As she held it she saw that it <em>had</em> changed. Part of her felt frustrated that it was taking her so long to get it.<br/><br/>As if he read her mind, Merlin took the pear back and assured her: “It takes me a while to get spells too. I’d sit in my bedroom for hours trying to turn a stone dog into a real one…” Morgana tilted her head. He smiled, “Long story. In any case there is nothing wrong with taking your time with spells like this, okay? You’re still new to this.”<br/><br/>Morgana’s eyes met his. She found it so hard to focus her mind on what she was doing. He was a good teacher, the only person to show her how to do these magic tricks… but his powers distracted her, and so did his face. In the evening sun he looked like he was shining gold. Morgana even wondered if it was his power she saw. She had to stop herself from reaching over to touch him, to make sure she wasn’t seeing things.<br/><br/>Merlin waved his hand in front of her face. “Are you alright?”<br/><br/>“Hmm?” her eyes coming back into focus. “Oh, yes. I’m fine.”<br/><br/>“What you should try…” he began. He moved closer to Morgana so that his hand was hand was cupping the pear along with her hand. She felt his power go through her. It was like static running through her forearm. Although she fidgeted a little Merlin didn’t seem to notice. He looked at the pear, “Try turning it back into an apple. It’s really easy—”<br/><br/>“As long as you know the language,” Morgana croaked.<br/><br/>“Are you <em>sure</em> you’re alright?”<br/><br/>“Ye-<em>es</em>,” Morgana said, recovering her composure. “What should I do?”<br/><br/>“Say ‘ellygen at afal’,” he told her. “You see that pear is technically still an apple so you can change it back easier than you can change it <em>into</em> something. Now, try it.”<br/><br/>Morgana took a breath, looked at the pear lying in the palm of hers and Merlin’s hands. This time she did it the same way Merlin had done it; telling the pear to change rather than ordering it. “<em>Ellygen at afal…</em>”<br/><br/>In the palm of her hand she could feel the pear merge back into the shape of an apple. It finally changed back after a second and Morgana found that she was holding the same green apple it had been before.<br/><br/>“Now,” he said. “Try the original spell again, ‘afal i mewn i ellygen’, okay?”<br/><br/>Morgana did as he told her. “<em>Afal i mewn i ellygen</em>…”<br/><br/>The apple turned back into a pear. Although only a simple trick it still impressed Morgana that she’d managed to do it. Part of her wondered if Merlin was doing something to help her along.<br/><br/>“Okay,” Merlin said, moving his hand away and looking at her with a grin. “Why don’t you try again, just to make sure?”<br/><br/>Morgana nodded, “<em>Ellygen at afal</em>.”<br/><br/>The pear turned into an apple.<br/><br/>She bit her lip, saving the smile for when she changed it; “<em>Afal i mewn i ellygen…</em>”<br/><br/>The apple turned into a pear.<br/><br/>Unable to stop herself she squealed with delight. She threw her arms around him and laughed uncontrollably. Merlin was surprised by her reaction. After a few seconds she let him go. “I know it’s just turning an apple into a pear and vice versa but after last week when I nearly set your hair on fire…”<br/><br/>“Yeah,” he said smiling awkwardly. “You have to be careful when you’re playing with fire.”<br/><br/>He took the pear from Morgana.<br/><br/>“<em>Ellaygen at afal</em>,” he said, turning the pear back into an apple, “<em>Afal nhrychu</em>.” The apple broke in half in the palm of his hand. Merlin smiled, taking one of the pieces and biting into it. He gave the other piece to Morgana, “My lunch.”<br/><br/>Morgana stared at him, “Show off. But then again, why ruin a talent like that?”<br/><br/>Merlin chuckled as they both bit into their slices of apple. The taste wasn’t affected by all the shape changes it had been through. Morgana was half expecting it to taste like a pear from all the morphing the apple had done.<br/><br/>“How have you been sleeping?” Merlin suddenly asked.<br/><br/>Morgana smiled, “Much better, thank you. I haven’t had a bad dream since you did that last spell the other week.”<br/><br/>“I was glad to finally found one that worked for you.”<br/><br/>“So was I.”<br/><br/>“Can I ask you a question though?”<br/><br/>“What is it, Merlin?”<br/><br/>He glanced over at the half full cup of wine. “Why are you still drinking so much if the spell is working?”<br/><br/>Morgana swallowed a mouthful of apple and looked over to the side of her bed where the chalice stood. For a moment she said nothing. She hadn’t really thought about. It had become a habit with her. She had medicated herself with drink and draft for so long it had become second nature.<br/><br/>When she thought out it she only drank when she felt low – whenever something annoyed her, she’d have a drink; whenever she felt down, she’d have a drink. Every time Merlin left after their lessons, not knowing when the next one would be, she’d have two or three drinks. It depended how late it was.<br/><br/>“I’m not becoming a drunkard, Merlin” she replied unemotionally. “It’s just become a habit with me. You can’t exactly claim superiority when you like a gulp of mead.”<br/><br/>“But that’s on celebrations,” he said defensively, “Or on a Saturday night on the town with the others. I don’t drink throughout the day.”<br/><br/>Morgana rolled her eyes, “Only because you can’t afford it.”<br/><br/>“No, because Gaius keeps it locked away,” he chuckled. He managed to get a smile off her. “I’m sorry I asked… I only wanted to make sure the spell was actually working and you weren’t just sparing me from another failure.”<br/><br/>“I’m not.”<br/><br/>She said that firmly, firmer than she’d wanted it to sound. At that tone Merlin had clearly had enough and he got to his feet. “Clearly I’m starting to irritate you again…” he said.<br/><br/>Morgana stood as well, “No, you’re not—”<br/><br/>“Obviously I am,” he replied smiling, not taking offense. “You always start to get prickly when you’re frustrated with me.”<br/><br/>“I do?”<br/><br/>He nodded, “Yes, it’s how I know I’ve outstayed my welcome.”<br/><br/>“You never outstay your welcome, Merlin,” she corrected him, “If anything you under-stay your welcome.”<br/><br/>“I’d hate to see what would happen if I did outstay it, then!” he joked.<br/><br/>Morgana watched as he went towards the door. It was strange but every time he left a room she felt as if a bond had been severed. She didn’t know whether it was the magic or something else but every time her lesson ended, she felt it; a nerve, a very small one at the back of her chest, right next to her spine, ached a little.<br/><br/>She glided across the room quickly and grabbed his hand. Merlin’s head swiftly turned at the sudden contact. She just wanted to feel that power <em>one more time</em> to set her up for the evening.<br/><br/>Innocently, Merlin smiled. “I’ll see you… when I see you.”<br/><br/>He slipped out the door, looked around for the guard and, seeing he wasn’t there, dashed down the stairs. Morgana watched as he headed off towards the courtyard. She closed the door and went across her room to look out one of the windows. He walked across the courtyard and back into the castle, heading towards Arthur’s room.<br/><br/>Morgana watched him until he was gone before she turned to the cup of wine standing by her bedside. She filled it up to the top and gulped a mouthful down. It burnt the inside of her nose but at least it calmed the nerve in her chest.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>The evening was rolling in over the city of Camelot making the sky a white blue orange, typical of summer evenings. It gave a brilliant air of coolness to the castle, refreshing and pleasant after the glowing hot of the afternoon. Nonetheless the corridors of the castle were stuffy. Gwen blew a stray strand of hair away with her breath as she and Arthur walked along.<br/><br/>“This heat is starting to get to me,” Gwen commented.<br/><br/>Arthur was eyeing the colourful bedspreads and white bed sheets that Gwen had insisted on picking up to take to his room. It seemed every time she walked down the corridor with him she always grabbed his washing to carry. It was as if she wanted to carry it around.<br/><br/>“Why do you always insist on stopping off for the washing?”<br/><br/>She looked at him as if he’d said something daft, “Since we are heading that way it seems silly to not. That and the older servants in the castle wouldn’t miss a chance to tattletale on me if they think I’m loitering.”<br/><br/>“Who are they going to complain to?” Arthur asked, keeping in stride with her. “Merlin is my servant, not you. He can get my bed sheets and my shirts from the laundry. It <em>is</em> his job. It is what he’s paid for. The way you always insist on getting the bedding it’s as if you plan on changing it after…”<br/><br/>“Stop it!” she quickly said, hushing him. Her cheeks had turned red in the humidity. “We have to be careful or else someone might hear.”<br/><br/>Arthur stopped and looked around. “There’s no one here.”<br/><br/>Gwen stopped too and turned around. “That’s not the point. If it’s all the same to you I’d rather keep the fact I’m your…” she tried to find the right word but she couldn’t, “…um, <em>private</em>.”<br/><br/>“I’m not shouting it from the roof tops!”<br/><br/>“I know but—”<br/><br/>He took her by the hand and led her into one of the small alcoves at the side of the passageway. They <em>would</em> draw attention if they chatted about it in the middle of the corridor. He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked at her.<br/><br/>“Guinevere,” he began. They way he said it was strange; partly serious and partly as if he was making a joke. “Before you and I became lovers you would <em>happily</em> walk down a corridor with me whether you carrying my bed sheets or a wine flask or nothing at all. Just like Merlin, or any other servant. <em>It never bats an eyelid</em>.”<br/><br/>“I should think not,” she replied, managing to grin. “If people <em>did</em> bat an eyelid when you walked down a corridor with Merlin I’d be worried.”<br/><br/>He lowered his eyes, unwilling to admit <em>that</em> joke had been on him. “My point is that we are only a brisk walk away from my chambers. It’s not like we’re on a suicide mission getting from the garden door to my bedroom.”<br/><br/>Gwen placed her hands on her hips. “We could have been at your chambers by now if you hadn’t stopped to give me this speech.”<br/><br/>“We could have been in bed by now if you hadn’t stopped to get the laundry!”<br/><br/>Gwen stared at him. There followed a short pause. Arthur cleared his throat and looked away awkwardly, realising what he said could have been considered inconsiderate. He was unwilling to admit it, though.<br/><br/>“Sorry,” he finally said. “I shouldn’t have said that. I think the heat is getting to me too.”<br/><br/>“It’s alright,” she replied quietly. After another short pause, she smiled. “You seem awfully sure of yourself.”<br/><br/>Arthur blinked. “Sorry?”<br/><br/>“Your estimation on how long it will take to get from the garden to your room to your bed,” she said, tilting her head. “You seem <em>awfully</em> certain.”<br/><br/>He was just glad to see she was smiling. For a moment he was worried that he had started an argument. They had only argued once in the whole of their relationship when Gwen scolded him for giving Merlin unpleasant chores in order to get rid of him.<br/><br/>“Well,” he said smiling back, “you’ll have to time me one day.”<br/><br/>Gwen laughed. “Maybe I will.”<br/><br/>Peaking out down the hallway she stepped out of the alcove and headed off in the direction they had been going. Arthur made sure no one was watching before he stepped out and caught up with her. When they finally reached the door Gwen walked straight in, Arthur following at her back, and both stopped dead in the door. Merlin was in the room tidying.<br/><br/>“Merlin… you’re here,” Arthur said through his teeth. “For once you are actually here.”<br/><br/>Gwen gasped. “You gave me a heart attack!”<br/><br/>The pair of them walked in.<br/><br/>“Why aren’t you hiding in Morgana’s room?” Arthur asked angrily.<br/><br/>“It’s gone seven,” he replied.<br/><br/>“Gone seven?” Gwen repeated. How long had they been in that field? She went over to the candle clock and saw that it was indeed gone seven. She rushed over to Arthur, “I’d better be going.”<br/><br/>Arthur sighed. It seemed everything was getting in the way of his plan to have his wicked way with Gwen that evening. Taking out his frustration on Merlin would have to appease him for now.<br/><br/>“Fine” he said in a disappointed voice. He hated the fact that he couldn’t even kiss her goodbye. Not in front of Merlin. All he could do was take her to one side, out of Merlin’s ear shot, and whisper. “Try and come tonight, will you?”<br/><br/>“I’ll try,” she whispered back.<br/><br/>She gave Merlin a smile before she left, heading back towards Morgana’s chambers. Once she was gone Arthur turned to look at Merlin. He had very thoughtfully put his hands over his ears to block out the conversation between him and Gwen. It just irritated Arthur even more. He was all ready, fired up with the insults.<br/><br/>“It’s funny how you always pick your moments, isn’t it?”<br/><br/>Merlin blinked, “Sire?”<br/><br/>“Whenever I need you, you’re never here” Arthur told him pursing his lips. “And whenever I don’t need you, there you are… with your plucky smile, <em>cluttering</em> up my room…”<br/><br/>“I was <em>tidying</em> it—”<br/><br/>“I don’t want you tidying up things up unless I’m here to tell you where to put them,” Arthur scolded him. He pointed at his bureau, “I can never find anything on my writing table after you’ve sorted it out; how am I supposed to find things if you <em>tidy them up</em>?”<br/><br/>Merlin rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry, <em>sire</em>.”<br/><br/>The prince made a deep sigh and crossed his arms. He felt a little better after that outburst. He looked at Merlin again, who stood looking sheepish.<br/><br/>“While we're on the subject, Merlin,” Arthur said. “When are you going to tidy up your room?”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>It was already late in the evening and Merlin felt sleepy and his thumbed through the pages of his spell book. He’d had it over a year and yet he still managed to find new spell in it every single day. He made it about half way through the book when he stopped. It had never occurred to him before then that one of the pages was thicker than all those others.<br/><br/>Gaius knocked on the door and opened it. “I’m going to bed. Do you need anything?”<br/><br/>“No,” Merlin said, rubbing his eyes. “Thanks.”<br/><br/>The old man watched the boy as he trailed his fingers over the pages of the book, lying on his stomach, leaning his cheek against his hand. He looked like a child. Gaius never thought he’d have children or ever gain the responsibility of looking after one. There was no denying his strong, paternal instinct towards his young ward. He sometimes worried that Merlin would end up like him, that despite his great destiny he too would come to the end of his life childless and alone. The difference would be that there would be no Merlin-like boy to guide for him, because there was no one like Merlin.<br/><br/>Merlin looked up. “What is it?”<br/><br/>The old man shook his head. “Nothing, just don’t stay up too late.”<br/><br/>“I won’t.”<br/><br/>As Gaius left he looked back to the page he had been looking at. As he turned it over he noticed that the corner of the page was bent over, coming apart, as if it were two pages stuck together. Carefully he took hold of the two fine pages and tried to pull them apart. As the two came clear away he discovered there was a small piece of paper sandwiched in between the pages of the book. The piece of paper was sealed with wax.<br/><br/>Merlin picked at it with his fingers, unable to think of a magic trick that would removed wax, and slowly began to peel it open.<br/><br/>On the piece of paper there appeared to be a spell. It was written in old, almost ineligible writing. The only words that Merlin could make out clearly were ‘Bucheddu’, ‘Addoed’ and ‘Cysgu’. Merlin yawned, feeling rather sleepy himself. He got up to slip the piece of paper into his coat pocket, so he wouldn’t forget about it, and decided to turn in for the night.<br/><br/>As he settled his head on his pillow he wondered why the spell had been pasted between the pages. The way the pages had been stuck and the way the spell had been sealed with wax it was clear someone wanted to keep it hidden.<br/><br/>He knew it had to be Gaius. The book had belonged to him for an unimaginable length of time before he had given it to Merlin. The question was why. Gaius had made it his business to hide Merlin’s magic but had encouraged him to use it when it was urgently needed. The spell had aroused Merlin’s curiosity now, and decided he would ask Gaius about it tomorrow.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was still dark outside when Gwen opened her eyes. She had trained herself to get up early from a young age, since she first entered servitude as a little girl. After following the norm for so many years it had become second nature. The difference was that even in her wildest dreams she would never have imagined waking up in a room that was actually warm, in a bed that was actually comfortable, and with the royal prince snoring quietly next to her.<br/><br/>Turning away from Arthur she rolled onto her back and closed her eyes again. She ran her fingers over her cheekbones, across her jaw line, down her neck, to her collarbones, tracing the parts of her body that had been kissed and touched. It reminded her of the days when such contact was only imaginary.<br/><br/>Sometimes she wondered if it was all madness. It was hard to believe that her entire situation wasn’t imaginary. She realised the risks from the king and even her own friends by lying with Arthur. There were also risks to her reputation. But she couldn’t help herself. There was nothing in her life to cling to except the knowledge that one day Uther would die and Arthur would be king. She knew one day she might be cast aside but she didn’t want to think about that. There was such sincerity every time he held her, kissed her, made love to her and he told her he loved her that she couldn’t imagine it being otherwise.<br/><br/>She opened her eyes, knowing she had to leave soon, and forced herself to sit up. Although she was still drowsy she wanted to get home undercover of darkness.<br/><br/>She located her clothes that had been removed several hours before, and quietly dressed trying not wanting to wake Arthur.<br/><br/>“Playing the same nasty trick?” his voice came over her shoulder.<br/><br/>Gwen span around; he must have been awake the whole time. “What trick is that?”<br/><br/>“You sleep with me,” he replied with a playful smile. “And then you sneak off first thing in the morning without so much as a bye or leave.”<br/><br/>Gwen folded her arms and smiled, “I have to get home. My neighbours will notice if I’m not there in the morning.”<br/><br/>“Just say you were tending to Morgana,” he yawned. “They needn’t know you were ‘tending’ to me.”<br/><br/>“If I stay here until morning Merlin will find us together.”<br/><br/>“So?”<br/><br/>“What do you mean ‘so’? Imagine how shocking it would be to turn up to work in the morning and find—” she paused and cleared her throat awkwardly. “Well, you know what I mean.”<br/><br/>Arthur sat up, “It might do him some good. It would teach him a lesson. Maybe he’d actually knock before entering a room in future.”<br/><br/>“If it’s all the same to you I’d rather not traumatise him.”<br/><br/>He rolled his eyes, “I don’t know what you’re frightened. Having Merlin as a servant has taught me to keep the door locked.”<br/><br/>“I should hope so,” she replied, turning to a polished piece of metal to fix her hair.<br/><br/>As she adjusted her dress she noticed a telltale love bite below her left collarbone. Thankfully she was able to cover it with her smock. She turned to face him again. “When did you give me this?”<br/><br/>Arthur motioned her over with his hand and she sat on the edge of the bed to show him. He leant forward to see, running his finger around the mark. “I’m sorry. I must have got a bit carried away.”<br/><br/>“It’s alright,” she said, covering it with the cotton of her dress. “At least it won’t show; a little higher up and it would have given the game away.”<br/><br/>Arthur wanted to avoid the idea of ‘giving the game away’, so he changed the subject. “I think he needs someone, though.”<br/><br/>“Do you mean Merlin?”<br/><br/>“He should be embracing his manhood,” he went on. “He told me that he’s never had a girl, even when he still lived in that village of his. I remember seeing plenty of nice girls. It’s a real shame.”<br/><br/>“He told me the same,” she replied, thinking of her past confession of love to Merlin. She stopped herself straight away. That was the past and this is now. She certainly didn’t want Arthur to find out their affair came to be through mistaken identity. “Maybe he hasn’t met anyone he likes yet. There is no point in courting a girl for the sake of it.”<br/><br/>Arthur yawned, “I envy him.”<br/><br/>“Can I ask why?”<br/><br/>“He gets to spend <em>all day</em> with you, rushing about the palace for my sort,” he yawned again through a smile. “But when I want to see you we have to sneak around to try and find somewhere private. I can’t even have you for a whole night because someone might notice first thing in the morning.”<br/><br/>Gwen looked away. “I’m sorry.”<br/><br/>“Don’t be sorry!” he said with a groan. “I have lived this way all my life. It is the norm. But now I have come to realise that my entire life truly is <em>public</em>. I just wish we weren’t so restricted.”<br/><br/>She felt the same. There were times when they passed in a crowded corridor that Gwen wished she could just kiss him in front of everyone without the fear of the repercussions. Every time their eyes met there was a spark between them that reminded her that she was part of a great secret. It sent a strange thrill through her that she never thought she would experience.<br/><br/>Gwen leant forward and kissed him. “Go back to sleep and I’ll see you in the morning.” As she started to get up Arthur grabbed her forearm, gently pulled her back and kissed her again. Gwen broke it with a chuckle, “I-I have to go now.”<br/><br/>“I wish you’d stay a bit longer,” he said, glancing over to the window. “I don’t like you walking home alone in the dark.”<br/><br/>“I’ve done it plenty of times before,” she replied. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry. Remember there are extra guards on the streets tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”<br/><br/>“You mean ‘later today’,” Arthur corrected.<br/><br/>Gwen nodded and walked towards the door. Unlocking it she peered out into the dimly lit walkway to make sure no one was there. She back looked at Arthur over her shoulder and smiled, “There’s no one there so I’ll make a break for it now.”<br/><br/>Arthur was beginning to drift off to sleep again. “I told you earlier, it’s not a suicide mission.”<br/><br/>She slipped out of the door. Poking her head through the door again she saw that Arthur lying silently, asleep again. “I love you,” she whispered before closing the door and leaving.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>The ambassador from Orkney arrived in the mid-morning just as Queen Anna had promised he would. It appeared to the people in the city who watched him ride in that things went according to plan in the distant Scottish country. At least they did at Queen Anna’s court.<br/><br/>The ambassador rode into the courtyard and was greeted by Sir Ector, who the king had specifically chosen to greet and lead him to his audience with the king.<br/><br/>The old man smiled as the ambassador dismounted his horse. “Ambassador Áedh. I am Sir Ector, the seneschal to the king, and on behalf of the people of Camelot I welcome you. I trust you had a pleasant journey.”<br/><br/>Ambassador Áedh smiled and shook his hand. “Thank you, Sir Ector. The journey was pleasant enough, thank you.”<br/><br/>“How long did it take you, if I might ask?”<br/><br/>“Just nine days,” Ambassador Áedh replied. “We made splendid timing.”<br/><br/>“Indeed.”<br/><br/>Ambassador Áedh followed Ector into the palace towards the throne room. The servants stopped and watched as the two men glided passed them. Merlin, who had been making deliveries for Gaius, even stopped and stared. He remembered that Arthur had told him about the war in the far-north of Albion.<br/><br/>Ector announced Ambassador Áedh as they entered the throne room. At the other end sat Uther, surrounded by some of his best knights and Arthur. The red-haired middle-aged man, with a rolled up piece of paper under his arm, strode towards Uther who smiled pleasantly. The king stood and walked across the room to meet him.<br/><br/>Áedh stopped before him and bowed. “Your majesty, I bring greetings from Queen Anna of Orkney and Lothian. On behalf of her husband, his majesty King Lot, she hopes you and her nephew are in good health.”<br/><br/>“Very well,” Uther replied through smiling teeth. He knew that Anna was fond of Arthur, even if she was often at odd with Uther himself. “I hope that she and the children are in good health also.”<br/><br/>“In perfect health I am pleased to report.”<br/><br/>Uther put his arm around Áedh’s shoulders and led him towards a door behind the throne, which led to the privy chambers. He stopped in front of Arthur, who the ambassador also tipped his head to.<br/><br/>“What news do you have on the conflict with Claudius?” the king asked.<br/><br/>“If it would please you, sires,” Áedh replied, looking around. “The conflict is continuing as Claudius refuses to leave Rheged.”<br/><br/>“Idiot” Arthur said under his breath. “In what position does that leave Urien?”<br/><br/>“King Urien has take refuge in Lothian,” he explained. “He has mustered his army there and had joined forces with his brother and nephew. My king has broken the engagement between Princess Elaine and Prince Claudius. Furthermore King Pellinore has agreed to aid them in the war, promising them reinforcements should they need them.”<br/><br/>Uther’s smiled widened; it was just as he has expected it. “I am glad to hear that Pellinore and Lot have put aside their differences in the name of peace. However I am saddened to hear that Prince Claudius still refuses to make the peace and that his engagement has been broken off.”<br/><br/>“I hope it doesn’t escalate into a war,” Arthur added.<br/><br/>“I think we’re all praying for that,” Uther said.<br/><br/>Arthur lowered his eyes. No king wanted that as he'd be running the risk of being dragged into the war too. He knew his father didn’t want a war going on between his allies but at the same time there was <em>something else</em> going on in Uther’s mind. Arthur had a feeling that the ambassador had travelled for more than to pass on news; within the nine days it took him to get to Camelot the war could have been over!<br/><br/>His suspicions were aroused even further when Uther said: “Ambassador Áedh, I would like to speak to you about… the <em>other</em> matter, if I may?”<br/><br/>Áedh nodded, “Certainly, your majesty.”<br/><br/>“Which ‘other matter’ is that, father?” Arthur asked.<br/><br/>Uther turned and rested his hands on his son’s shoulders, “When I am certain things are in order I promise that I will inform you of everything.”<br/><br/>He turned to Áedh, and they walked off towards the privy chambers.<br/><br/>Arthur watched them leave, wondering what his father could be discussing that he didn’t want him to know about. Any other day he might have pressed the issue further but he did not feel motivated enough to find out what his father was planning, and decided to leave it at that.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Morgana rose disgracefully late. Gwen had tried to raise her at the normal time but to no avail, and spent the entire morning working around her while Morgana lay dazedly in bed. She had all sorts of distorted thoughts rushing about her head – some were memories of her lost nightmares that Merlin had taken away, some were about Arthur and Gwen, and some were about Merlin.<br/><br/>Eventually she managed to drag herself up. The sun was shining high in the sky and the world below her was well underway. She could hear people rushing around the castle, hard at work. It made her blush at how late she was in waking. Even Gwen was nowhere in sight; she was probably on her hands and knees scrubbing a floor somewhere.<br/><br/>She sighed. It felt wrong to be giving orders to Gwen. She didn’t want to ask too much. In some ways it was no better than Arthur’s constant demands on Merlin. The difference was that Merlin could ‘cheat’, but Gwen had to do it all herself. A few weeks before Arthur had even scolded her for asking Gwen to clear out the fireplace all by herself when only the other day he had Merlin on his hands and knees doing the very same thing.<br/><br/>That was the pot calling the kettle black if ever it was.<br/><br/>She wasn’t the only person who gave Gwen orders as anyone considered superior had the right to order her to do whatever they wanted. They weren’t to know that Gwen was by all accounts Arthur’s mistress. So really it was <em>his</em> fault – he should be doing more to make Gwen’s life more comfortable.<br/><br/>That isn’t fair, Morgana thought. He does make her life more comfortable, but he can’t change her job description.<br/><br/>She stretched and began to dress herself.<br/><br/>Her mind straight away went back to Merlin. She wondered whether she would be seeing him that day. She hoped she would, even if they didn’t have a lesson. Morgana liked seeing Merlin because the sight of him made her feel… <em>cheerful</em>. He was helping her understand her powers, and teaching her to use magic too. It was comforting to know she wasn’t mad in any case. It felt like her life had meaning.<br/><br/>She decided to go outside for some fresh air, to try and clear her mind of the foggy thoughts that had invaded her mind during her lie-in.<br/><br/>On her way to the garden she walked past the door that led to the privy chambers. From a distance she saw Uther step out. She stopped and watched, wondering why since there was no Privy Council meeting that day.<br/><br/>She saw another man – Ambassador Áedh – follow Uther out. He smiled at Morgana before turning to follow the king.<br/><br/>At the sight of this man a strange power overcame Morgana’s mind. It blacked out. Her eyes were blinded to what she saw in front of her, retracting into her mind.<br/><br/>In her blindness she stumbled backed into a small alcove so no one would see her. Her heart was pounding in fear. The small part of her that could still think clearly wondered if what she was seeing would ever stop:<br/><br/>It was the fire again. The smell was vile and overpowering as it gulped all the air. It felt hot inside her head, against her face. The image of Uther was standing in the flames, looking certain and proud. She heard horses running closer and closer. She could hear battle cries. A new image appeared – a young woman with long blonde hair…<br/><br/>Morgana clasped her hands to her head and tried to force the images out. As her vision began to clear she saw the image of Arthur, then Gwen, and finally… her eyes cleared and all she could see was the opening of the alcove, light shining in from the windows.<br/><br/>Once she was sure the vision was over she pulled herself to her feet. She took deep breaths to calm herself down. Never had she had an image come to her when she was awake, only when she was asleep. It frightened her. The thought that these images would spring up on her unawares was too much.<br/><br/>Stumbling back into the corridor she decided to go straight back to her room. She wasn’t going to risk it happening again in front of everyone. They would think she was going mad or realise her foresight. Either way it meant she <em>would</em> be seeing Merlin today.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Gwen went out into town to collect some water. It was high noon and the pavement was on fire through the soles of her shoes. There was a long queue for the water pump, some people walking away with two buckets worth. There was even a guard standing by making certain no one wasted it by spilling it.<br/><br/>It took a quarter of an hour for Gwen to get to the front of the queue. She couldn’t even pump it herself – the guard did it. Afterwards she offered him a polite smile, something he seemed grateful for as he smiled back, and made her way home to drop off the bucket before returning to work.<br/><br/>The idea of rationing the water on a hot day was funny given that Gwen had just used about three buckets worth cleaning the floor of the court hall. The king was even standing there with the ambassador, watching her scrub away at the floor alone. Her nails were cracked to the skin and her hands were dry.<br/><br/>She reached the centre of town where the market was when she saw Merlin wandering around with large basket. It took a while for Gwen to notice that in the basket was the little she-dog, Fach.<br/><br/>“Merlin” she called.<br/><br/>He turned around, smiled and walked towards her. “Afternoon, Gwen. Hot isn’t it?”<br/><br/>“Scolding,” she agreed. “What are you doing with Fach in the basket?”<br/><br/>“Oh!” Merlin said, putting the basket down and picking Fach up in his arms. “I’m trying to find someone who will give her a home. I gave Howell to Arthur since we lost one of the dogs recently but Fach is too small…”<br/><br/>“Yes, I know, that’s why you called her ‘Fach’, isn’t it?” Gwen replied. She reached over to stroke the little brachet’s head. She loved dogs. Other little girls were frightened of them in her childhood but she had always liked them. “She’s so cute!”<br/><br/>“Yeah, she’s really cute,” he agreed. “I’d keep her myself but Gaius will slaughter both of us if she chews up another one of his books.”<br/><br/>Fach sniffed Gwen’s hand and licked it. The feeling of the warm dog-tongue was both disgusting and endearing. She couldn’t help noticing the pup’s tongue was dry. “I think she’s thirsty, Merlin.”<br/><br/>“She hasn’t had anything since this morning,” he admitted.<br/><br/>“Aw,” Gwen said tilting her head. “Poor little thing. Let’s take her back to my house and I’ll give her some of this water.”<br/><br/>They walked the short distance back to Gwen’s house. Once there she found a small bowl, filled it with water and placed it on the floor. Fach lapped it up greedily. Gwen then gave her some left over pigeon from last night, which the little dog accepted excitedly. The two friends watched as she gorged herself, wagging her tail.<br/><br/>They found it a good moment to talk about ‘local news.’<br/><br/>“The ambassador from Orkney turned up today, did you see?” Merlin asked, sitting down at the table wiping his brow.<br/><br/>“I saw him about half an hour ago while I was cleaning the floor of the hall,” she replied, looking at her hands. “He and Uther walked all over it. I had to do it twice.”<br/><br/>“Ouch!” Merlin winced, knowing what that was like. “How do you cope with scrubbing a floor day in and day out only for nobles to walk over it?”<br/><br/>Gwen leant over and whispered in his ear; “I pretend the floor is the king’s face.”<br/><br/>Merlin laughed.<br/><br/>He couldn’t blame her. He glanced over to the bare bed that used to be Tom’s. If it had been his mother he’d be boiling over with hate. He was surprised at how well Gwen coped. Arthur was probably a great help to her; not only was he the one looking after her but it must have crossed her mind at least once that she was getting one over Uther too.<br/><br/>But then again it probably hadn’t crossed her mind at all.<br/><br/>“You must get lonely,” he said suddenly. “Here by yourself.”<br/><br/>Fach finished eating and came over to them, sitting on Gwen’s feet. She smiled. “Yes, but I get by. No need to worry about me—well—not that I thought you worried about me or anything—obviously, I don’t assume that…”<br/><br/>“I <em>do</em> worry about you,” Merlin said. “Morgana does too, and Gaius, and Arthur more than any of us. We all worry about you.”<br/><br/>“I don’t like people worrying,” she replied awkwardly.<br/><br/>Merlin looked around. He noticed that the cracks in the walls to fix were gone and walls repainted. Tom had always promised to do them but never managed to. “When did you get the walls done?”<br/><br/>“I didn’t,” she replied, picking Fach up to hold her on her lap. “Arthur had it done. Do you remember a month or so ago we had that heavy rain?”<br/><br/>“Yes, your roof was leaking.”<br/><br/>“Arthur saw the damage,” she explained, “and he had both the roof and the walls repaired. My neighbours were amazed – they must have thought I was having an affair with the local thatcher!”<br/><br/>“I’m not surprised!” Merlin remarked. “This would have cost you nearly two years’ wages to do yourself.”<br/><br/>“I know,” Gwen agreed, and sighed awkwardly. “It's just one of the many benefits of having the prince for a lover, I suppose. I just don’t like being made a fuss of.”<br/><br/>“Fixing your roof was a necessity, not a fuss,” he assured her. “He’s just looking after you.”<br/><br/>Gwen smiled, “I know he is.”<br/><br/>She cuddled the dog on her lap as it affectionately buried its face under her arm. Merlin watched thinking he still had to find Fach a home. Then it occurred to him that he already had.<br/><br/>“She seems to like you,” he commented.<br/><br/>Gwen tilted her head at the little dog and smiled warmly. “She’s lovely!”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Uther led Ambassador Áedh through the privy chambers into a small chamber that Uther used to deal with small matters of state. Once there he closed the door and turned to Áedh. “The engagement between Prince Claudius and Princess Elaine has been broken you say?”<br/><br/>“Yes,” Áedh replied with a smile. “Many of the princes in the kingdoms surrounding Orkney and Lothian are thrilled. The king was very keen to break the engagement with Prince Claudius… after reading your letter several months ago.”<br/><br/>“I hope he did not begin this war over my letter,” Uther joked.<br/><br/>“Fear not, sire,” Áedh said with a chuckle. “Prince Claudius has had this coming for a long time. He took his engagement with the Orcadian princess for granted. She met him last Christmas and by all accounts was not impressed.”<br/><br/>“I see,” Uther said, curious to know more about the niece-by-marriage he had not seen since she was twelve. “And what sort of woman is Elaine?”<br/><br/>“A fine young woman,” Áedh replied with a smile. “I can proudly say that reports of her beauty are all true. Moreover Queen Anna insisted on having her educated suitably; she is well versed in history, mathematics and the arts, and she speaks three languages fluently.”<br/><br/>Uther nodded, “She has inherited Anna’s intellect as well as her looks?”<br/><br/>“Yes, sire,” Áedh answered. He took the rolled up piece of paper from under his arm and laid it out on the table. “The king has been occupied with the conflict in Rheged. Prince Gawain and the Privy Council to drew up some basic terms for me to present to you. I, in turn, shall present yours to Prince Gawain and Queen Anna.”<br/><br/>Uther scowled over the piece of paper. “Could you summarise what is in this before I take it away and read it over?”<br/><br/>“Nothing too drastic, sire,” Áedh replied. “The first term asks that the marriage be treated as a formal alliance. This includes trade, warfare, and so on…”<br/><br/>“Seems fair,” Uther agreed. “What else?”<br/><br/>“All children born from the match are to be heirs to the throne of Camelot,” he went on. “In return they will also be in the line of succession for Orkney and Lothian. It is also asked that the princess have a say in matters of the education of the children and that she maintain them in her care, with the exception of the heir apparent should you or your son wish it otherwise.”<br/><br/>Uther nodded. “Is that it?”<br/><br/>“That’s all for now, sire,” the ambassador said rolling it up again and handing it to the king. “I can’t say how it will change as discussions go on but, then again, that is between you, the king and the privy councils. If you would like to consider your terms I shall return to Lothian within a few days and present them to the prince.”<br/><br/>Uther smiled, “Thank you, Ambassador Áedh.”<br/><br/>“One thing I will ask if I may, sire?” the ambassador said.<br/><br/>“You may.”<br/><br/>“King Lot was surprised at your desire for a match between Prince Arthur and Princess Elaine. He was under the impression that you intended to marry your son to Lady Morgana.”<br/><br/>The king nodded. “I do not mind you asking this question. I realise that it must have surprised Lot when I asked after Elaine. There was talk of marriage between Arthur and Morgana at one time, but it is no longer practical. They have more or less been raised as siblings, and see each other as such too. That is not useful in the production of heirs.”<br/><br/>“Indeed, sire.” the ambassador replied with a chuckle.<br/><br/>“Moreover,” Uther went on. “In times such as this there is very little to gain from an internal marriage.”<br/><br/>“I couldn’t agree more. Remind me, my liege, who is the current Duke of Cornwall?”<br/><br/>“Cador,” the king answered. “Gorlois’s younger brother. I’m afraid I am not as close to him. Ever since he became the duke he has shut himself off from everything like a hermit in a permanent state of mourning. I think he resents Gorlois making me Morgana’s guardian, and not him.”<br/><br/>“They were not close?”<br/><br/>“Quite the opposite,” Uther replied. “They were extremely close. They would have fallen on their swords for each other, but Gorlois always felt Cador lacked it in him to be a father figure.”<br/><br/>“I assume then, sire,” the ambassador said. “That you will also be looking for a husband for the lady if you intend for your son to marry Princess Elaine?”<br/><br/>Uther nodded, “All in good time. In fact I already have one or two in mind, but I wish to see Arthur married before I find someone for her.”<br/><br/>Gaius came home from his rounds having been unable to find Merlin. He wouldn’t be surprised if Arthur was finding it difficult to find Merlin either. At least Arthur had enough energy to look for him whereas Gaius had long passed those days.<br/><br/>He walked into the room. It was quiet with no sign of Merlin or the dogs. Gaius realised he must have given them away as he had promised; Howell to Arthur and Fach to whoever took her. He actually felt a bit sad they were gone.<br/><br/>Looking across the room he noticed Merlin’s bedroom door was open, the chaos of it exposed for the whole world to see. Gaius rolled his eyes, tempted to clean it up. Merlin awakened not only paternal instincts in him but motherly ones too.<br/><br/>He walked up into the room and straight away began to collect the disregarded clothing lying on the floor. On the desk there were pieces of wasted paper, some of it scrunched up with hardly any writing on it. That annoyed Gaius. He went over and collected it, thinking at the very least they could use it to keep the front room warm.<br/><br/>His eyes wandered to the bed, which was unmade, paper and books scattered on it. He double-checked to make sure that the book of magic wasn’t one of them. Typically it was, hidden ‘tactfully’ under the paper, books and the bed sheets. Gaius snatched it out quickly to hide it under the floorboard where he knew Merlin kept it.<br/><br/>The book was open at the middle when he pulled it out. Gaius instinctively closed it straight away. It wasn’t until he opened the floorboard that the significance of the book being open occurred to him.<br/><br/>He swiftly opened the book again to the middle.<br/><br/>The two pages that he had stuck together over twenty years ago were unstuck, and the piece of paper between them was gone. He had long since forgotten about it. Part of him wasn’t even sure what book he had stuck that dreaded spell in, let alone that it was the old spell book.<br/><br/>The worrying thing was that if the spell was gone, someone had taken it. If Merlin had taken it then it wasn’t a completely tragedy, but then again…<br/><br/>Gaius went into the front room and sat with his head in his hands. If Merlin had the spell somewhere in his room or on his person, he had to get it back.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Calm down, what’s the rush?” said Merlin as Morgana dragged him up the stairs towards her room.<br/><br/>He had been walking along minding his own business while taking some blankets that had been dumped on him from one end of the castle to another. It was an annoyingly pointless task and one he wasn’t sorry to be pulled away from.<br/><br/>It was still quite startling to find he was once again being accosted and tugged into dark rooms by the king’s strange and hysterical ward.<br/><br/>Reaching her bedroom door Morgana bundled the warlock inside, making sure there were no guards outside the door before locking it.<br/><br/>Once inside she sighed, “Sorry but you can’t be too certain. I don’t know whether Uther is still suspicious of us or not.”<br/><br/>“You don’t think he’s catching on to the fact we’re…” he began, trying to find a reason for Morgana’s erratic behaviour. “You know, using the ‘m’ word.”<br/><br/>A small smile appeared in the corner of Morgana’s mouth. “You’re starting to sound like Gawain. He calls it the ‘m’ word too.”<br/><br/>“Either way, is that why you look like you’ve met eyes with the questing beast?” he asked.<br/><br/>Morgana turned away to pour herself out a goblet of wine. She filled it to the brim and took a deep gulp.<br/><br/>Merlin watched disapprovingly. “Still drinking, I see.”<br/><br/>“I was drinking yesterday,” she replied. “Why should anything have changed within twenty-four hours? The difference is that I have a reason to drink today.”<br/><br/>Merlin stumbled into a chair. “You mean he is—”<br/><br/>“No, Merlin, this has nothing to do with Uther…” she paused, and sat beside him, “At least not completely to do with him.”<br/><br/>He sighed, “So he <em>doesn’t</em> know we’re using magic?”<br/><br/>“No, Merlin,” she replied certainly. “I pretty sure that if he thinks we’re doing anything, it’s certainly not magic.”<br/><br/>“Yes, you said that before.”<br/><br/>He looked at the cup of wine and took it from Morgana’s hand to put it to one side. “I know you think I’m a hypocrite but there is a difference between enjoying a social drink and using it to medicate yourself.”<br/><br/>“Have you never drunk to soothe pain?”<br/><br/>“Only to dull it,” Merlin replied. “Gaius gives it to me after Arthur has whacked me around during training. Now, what’s wrong?” Morgana sat in silence. He leant closer to her realising it was serious. “What is it?”<br/><br/>The moment he moved closer the power that pulsed through him seeped into her. For a moment she was frightened the vision was coming back again before she realised it was just the magic again.<br/><br/>“You had another dream, didn’t you?” he said.<br/><br/>“No,” she replied. “That’s the problem. I haven’t had a dream since you did that spell to relieve nightmares. But it’s having… side-effects.”<br/><br/>“Such as?”<br/><br/>“Today, I saw a part of the dream while I was awake.”<br/><br/>There was a short pause.<br/><br/>“Like the things you see in your dream?” he asked, thinking of nothing else to say.<br/><br/>“Just part of it,” she explained.<br/><br/>“What part?”<br/><br/>“When I saw the Orcadian ambassador,” she finished. “I saw the fire, the horses riding closer and closer. I saw Gwen again. And Uther. Arthur too. It was quick but it was more than a memory… it was a vision.”<br/><br/>Merlin pondered a moment. “Do you suppose your dreams have been about the war that’s going on in Rheged?”<br/><br/>“There must be more to it than that. I keep seeing Gwen, and Arthur, and…”<br/><br/>He tilted his head. “Yes?”<br/><br/>“Sometimes…I see you.”<br/><br/>“Me?”<br/><br/>“I see your eyes,” she explained, managing to smile. “Not your eyes as they are now but as they are when you do… the “m” word.”<br/><br/>Merlin smiled, flattered that Morgana saw him in her dreams. “I see your point; what would the war in Rheged have to do with Arthur or Gwen?”<br/><br/>“The fact it happened when I saw the ambassador suggests it is being put into place <em>right now</em>.”<br/><br/>“What is the ambassador from Orkney doing here, anyway?”<br/><br/>“Uther is keeping it all quiet,” she explained. “Officially he’s only here to talk of the war but I have a horrid feeling…”<br/><br/>He leant forward, “What?”<br/><br/>Morgana didn’t want to say. “I want to have the spell removed,” she ordered. “I want to dream again.”<br/><br/>Merlin made no objection. “I think it’s the best way. Maybe, if you have your dream, we can make notes on what you see and figure out what it means.”<br/><br/>She nodded. “I don’t know where I am these days, and I feel bad asking this of you, after everything you’ve done. I thought things would be better if the dreams stopped but they’re not. It’s just worse. I feel as if, as if…”<br/><br/>“Your powers are being compromised?” he finished.<br/><br/>They stared at each other. It was <em>exactly</em> what she meant.<br/><br/>She smiled, “I feel as if I’ve lost a limb.”<br/><br/>Merlin chuckled, “I know what you mean.”<br/><br/>He stood and began pacing the room. “When I first came to Camelot Gaius was always telling me to keep out of trouble—which is difficult when your master is a dim-witted idiot—and sometimes I’d just want to…to scream at the top of my lungs ‘I’m a warlock!’ and show everyone how magic could be used for good. I wanted to solve <em>everything </em>with magic…”<br/><br/>Morgana’s smile widened. “How do you feel now?”<br/><br/>“I still feel the same,” he told her. He strode back to the chest they were sitting on and gave her an honest look. “I had to learn that magic couldn’t be used to do everything. I admit I still cut corners with it but that’s only because I’m so lazy…”<br/><br/>They both chuckled.<br/><br/>“But,” his voice becoming frank, “I also had to learn that there is a right and wrong way of doing things. I know I get angry when you rush around the place screaming about your dreams…”<br/><br/>“Yes, you do,” Morgana said, equally frank.<br/><br/>“But it’s only because I’m worried about you.”<br/><br/>There was a long, drawn out pause as they looked away from each other to stare into open space; the window in front of them was shining with orange sundown and the sound of birds singing evening song swan lazily in.<br/><br/>“I never thought…” Merlin began.<br/><br/>Morgana looked at him. “Yes?”<br/><br/>“I never thought that I’d meet another person like me,” he finished.<br/><br/>“You still haven’t, really. My powers are nothing special in comparison to yours; making objects stop in mid air just by looking at them.”<br/><br/>“You can do something I can’t,” he replied with his trademark smile. “I can’t see the future in my dreams. If I did then I’d be one step ahead of Arthur’s enemies.”<br/><br/>Morgana chuckled, “Maybe you do have the sight and you just don’t know it.”<br/><br/>“I think I would have noticed the way you describe it.”<br/><br/>“They say that only bad people have bad thoughts. You’re a good person, so maybe you foresee the good things. I just forecast the bad.”<br/><br/>Merlin looked at her, daring to place a hand on her shoulder. “A good person will do everything in their power to make sure the calamity they see never happens. That’s what you do.”<br/><br/>His touch sent the warm glow through her. She leant her head on his shoulder. He stiffened against her but quickly relaxed. She could feel the pulse in his neck. It hammered into her forehead, beating faster than it should.<br/><br/>Suddenly he pushed her to sit up and placed them on either side of her temples. Her skin leapt at this movement, wondering what he was doing. She heard him whisper words under his breath. He was removing the spell.<br/><br/>When he finished he took his hands away. “The spell is gone. If you have another vision while awake, let me know.”<br/><br/>She nodded.<br/><br/>A prickly feeling crawled up her spine. The natural power he had that seemed to get stronger and stronger every time she saw him. Merlin had the power to crush men twice his size in one word but the fact that he was good natured sent a warm feeling through her that was just as strong as the thrill of his power.<br/><br/>She lowered her head and took a deep breath.<br/><br/>She didn’t like to think about him within knowledgeable distance of him, fearing that his telepathy would pick up on it and the fact she had magic might boost the signal. One time he was teaching her and he leant over her a sudden, rather unsavoury, thought popped into her head. She noted sudden change in his expression before he awkwardly moved away and crossed his legs.<br/><br/>She lifted her head and looked at him. “I’m sorry.”<br/><br/>Merlin smiled, “What for?”<br/><br/>“You do so much for me,” she replied. “Sometimes I don’t think I show the gratitude I owe you.”<br/><br/>“You don’t owe me anything.”<br/><br/>“But I do!”<br/><br/>She grabbed his hand, taking Merlin by surprise. He wondered if she was going to ‘the mad place’ again. It frightened him when she was in that state; she seemed determined to expose them both.<br/><br/>He rested his free hand on hers and smiled nervously. “Calm down, Morgana, like I said…”<br/><br/>“But that’s the point,” she said, lowering her voice. “You do so much for me but I do nothing for you. I maybe just a simple seer but I feel as if I should do more for you.”<br/><br/>He stared at her. “I don’t really want anything.”<br/><br/>“Nothing at all?” she said leaning closer.<br/><br/>Merlin became aware of the short space between them and politely moved over. “Not really. I mean you <em>do</em> pay me back by being in a position to tip attention away from me, especially with Uther.”<br/><br/>Morgana moved closer again. “I think you took care of that yourself. After what happened with Gwen I doubt he’ll ever take a tip off that you’re a sorcerer seriously.”<br/><br/>“True, but it’s still nice to know.”<br/><br/>They sat in silence. Morgana watched as Merlin tapped his heels against the floor and drummed his fingers against his knee. She sighed, “Am I a burden to you?”<br/><br/>“Of course you aren’t.”<br/><br/>“Yes I am. I can tell.”<br/><br/>“No, you’re not! If anything it’s comforting to know that there is someone else who has the gift.”<br/><br/>“I know,” she agreed. “I’d never thought I’d meet someone who would… help me understand it.”<br/><br/>Merlin swallowed. He didn’t want to tell her that Gaius had wanted her to remain in the dark about her gifts. They both relied on him to be the voice of reason, and Morgana was good at holding a grudge.<br/><br/>She touched his cheek with her hand. He could feel the magic within her, and admittedly, felt a sharp sensation of burning spikes in his arms. He swallowed again. “I think most people feel that way until they meet another like them.”<br/><br/>“Especially if they’re like us, right?”<br/><br/>He smiled awkwardly.<br/><br/>Her eyes clouded over and instinct got the better of her.<br/><br/>She leant forward and kissed him. At first she had intended to just kiss his cheek but she re-directed it to his lips in a moment of madness or curiosity or both. Merlin was not sure how to react. She felt his mouth stiff against hers but it didn’t deter her.<br/><br/>The moment they touched the power seemed to flow into her directly. It urged her to deepen the kiss and drink from it. As she coaxed his mouth open the static feeling surged into him too, both supernatural and natural. It felt like there was a true connection, a link that went deeper than being creatures of the old religion. She wondered if the kiss felt like this, what it feel like if they were to…<br/><br/>Merlin abruptly pulled away, as if he had reached into her mind and seen her thought. He covered his mouth, the root of all his powers, and murmured apologises through his fingers. “Excuse me…”<br/><br/>“I’m sorry” she said dumbfounded. “I’m sorry if I—”<br/><br/>“No, no…well, yes, but no—” he gabbled. “I think I should go…”<br/><br/>He leapt to his feet and stood in front of her. She stared at him wide-eyed.<br/><br/>“I don’t know what came over me,” she said. “I just blanked and… I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”<br/><br/>“N-no, of course not. I understand completely,” Merlin babbled, irritably rubbing his forehead. “I better leave in case something comes over me. When you have another dream you know where to find me…”<br/><br/>He laughed giddily as he strode towards a door.<br/><br/>“Merlin,” Morgana said, losing herself in her thoughts. “That’s the bathroom door.”<br/><br/>He turned swiftly around and walked towards the bedroom door.<br/><br/>“Sorry,” he muttered.<br/><br/>Morgana watched as he opened the door and darted out of it, not looking back from fear she would see how brightly red his cheeks had turned.<br/><br/>Outside the door he nearly lay against it to ponder what had happened, but he quickly remembered what happened last time he had done that. He didn’t want to tempt fate by falling through the door again.<br/><br/>Inside the room Morgana sat staring at the door where Merlin had escaped through. She threw herself backwards onto the bed, wondering what had possessed her to do what she did.<br/><br/>Instinct, she told herself, but what instinct?<br/><br/>She should have known Merlin would be dumbfounded by such an action. Morgana had wondered how much stronger the power would feel the closer she got to him. She had been trying to find excuses to be near him for the last few months. The closest she could dare herself to get was to kiss him.<br/><br/>At least that was what she told herself.<br/><br/>Sometimes she wondered if the power was just an excuse. It was like a form of seduction, and she was embarrassed that she was having these thoughts while he innocently tried to teach her how to create doubles of objects or open books without picking them up.<br/><br/>Then again was he completely innocent?<br/><br/>Morgana knew she was beautiful. Merlin might be guilty of having a few thoughts about her. She knew he felt the power between them too. It was something they shared. Therefore it was quite natural to assume he might share other things with her, including musings…<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Arthur was looking out the window of Gwen’s house.<br/><br/>He rarely came to her home even in twilight. Normally during the day they spoke when they could and kissed in dark alcoves. Then once twilight came she would sometimes go to him and sometimes go home to sleep in her bed alone.<br/><br/>She wondered if she was ahead of herself.<br/><br/>For a while their meetings had been ‘virtuous’, never passing the level of courting. For a while she had thought it important to guard her chastity. In all honesty she was surprised he had waited. She imagined a prince was used to getting what he wanted, when he wanted it. He had probably never been asked to wait for anything.<br/><br/>Then when she made the choice it had been so easy and had felt so right she wondered if there was something wrong with her. When the heart said ‘yes’, the mind said ‘yes’, and the body said ‘yes’, but the conscience said ‘think before you act’ it found itself out numbered by a three to one vote.<br/><br/>Did the fact she felt no shame over what she was doing make her loose and immoral?<br/><br/>She had put the question to Arthur once: “You couldn’t be immoral if you tried,” he told her. “You are the most virtuous woman I know.”<br/><br/>It pained her that the man she loved so dearly was the one man she could never hope to marry. The question was this—was she ready to make the leap from the secret lover to the prince to being an acknowledged mistress? She didn’t think so. Not quite yet.<br/><br/>She walked up beside him and leant her cheek against his arm. “What are you looking at?”<br/><br/>A smile crept across his face, her cheek against his arm a symbol of their intimacy. “The chickens.”<br/><br/>There were three white chickens waddling around in the street. Gwen shook her head, “What about them?”<br/><br/>“The people,” he said. “They just walk passed them, and ignore them. Don’t they get under your feet?”<br/><br/>“I’m used to them.”<br/><br/>“It would drive me mad.”<br/><br/>“They’re no different from pigeons.”<br/><br/>“Pigeons are worse.”<br/><br/>“Don’t knock it” she replied. “That’s my Christmas dinner you’re insulting.”<br/><br/>“You eat pigeons?”<br/><br/>“Yes and those chickens.”<br/><br/>“Really?” he asked, surprised. “It must be hard.”<br/><br/>“Well, you can get attached to them…”<br/><br/>“I mean going without,” Arthur corrected himself. “I can understand it with Merlin. He didn’t know any better in his village… but you grew up watching people like me who had everything. It must have been hard.”<br/><br/>“Not really” she chuckled. “I took what I got and was grateful. When I saw the life Merlin came from I realised my life in Camelot is luxury. Besides I have always been quite prudent.”<br/><br/>He turned to look at her, resting his hands on her shoulders; “You shouldn’t have to go without anymore.”<br/><br/>“I don’t,” she said with a smile. “I have everything I need. I have a home, and a job, and enough food to eat. I’m fine.”<br/><br/>Fach barked when she heard another dog bark outside.<br/><br/>“And I have a dog,” she added with a chuckle, kneeling down to pick her up. “What else can a girl ask for?”<br/><br/>“It just doesn’t seem enough to me,” he replied. “I look at you and I want to give you so much more. I wonder why someone as noble as you was born in the lower class. You’re nobler than I am.”<br/><br/>Gwen reached up to stroke his cheek with her free hand. “You are the noblest man I’ve ever known. Nobility comes with character, not status.”<br/><br/>“I just can’t imagine how you cope—”<br/><br/>“That’s because you’re the prince,” she replied.<br/><br/>Her words tasted like iron in her mouth. He was the prince. But outside the palace she could forget he was the prince. In many ways she preferred it; when he was in the house with her, he was hers.<br/><br/>Fach struggled out of her arms, and lay down on a blanket Gwen had laid out for her.<br/><br/>She sighed, “You don’t know what it’s like because you never have been without. But you still understand your people. That’s what I admire about you…”<br/><br/>Arthur raised an eyebrow, “That I’m a spoilt prince?”<br/><br/>Gwen laughed and cupped his face in both her hands, “No. I admire the fact you understand and love the people so earnestly. It shows you have empathy and that you will make a good king.”<br/><br/>“If you say so,” he said, leaning down to kiss her. “I still think you deserve better, though.”<br/><br/>“I have a prince, remember. I <em>have</em> the best.”<br/><br/>He smiled a smile that only Gwen could bring to his face, the sort of smile that showed a man in love. It was only in the comfort of her presence he could like feel that.<br/><br/>He sighed thoughtfully and shook his head, trying to put words to the emotions he felt. “Guinevere, when I’m with you I can settle down from all the trouble of the day and forget about it... or least consider it.”<br/><br/>“And what troubles are you pondering today?” Gwen asked sitting at her table.<br/><br/>Arthur sat down too. “The Rheged Crisis, that’s what.”<br/><br/>“I saw the ambassador earlier while I was cleaning the floor,” Gwen began. He reached over and took one of her hands, feeling the roughness of hard work. She went on, “Why is he here?”<br/><br/>“He claims he’s just here to update us on the crisis.”<br/><br/>“But you don’t believe him?”<br/><br/>“I don’t believe him or my father,” Arthur said. “Ambassadors don’t travel hundreds miles to update a country on a war when a messenger could be sent. Even if King Lot needed reinforcements he wouldn’t have sent the ambassador.”<br/><br/>“Maybe he’s here to conduct an alliance. Queen Anna is your aunt, after all.”<br/><br/>“But Anna knows that father will help if he is asked,” Arthur said. “Besides, if it was just an alliance or treaty, then father would have told me.”<br/><br/>“Then maybe he’s taking a holiday and thought he’d pass on the message while he was in town,” she joked. “The point is that if your father wants you to know, he’ll tell you.”<br/><br/>He nodded, “You’re right. Of course, you’re right. I just… don’t want to see another war break out. It’s bad enough when we send armies to fight the Saxons but a war between our own people…”<br/><br/>“You know I—” she began but thought better and stopped. “Never mind.”<br/><br/>“No, tell me.”<br/><br/>“It doesn’t matter.”<br/><br/>“Oh, go on!” Arthur said chuckling, “You’ve aroused my curiosity now.”<br/><br/>“Hmm,” she said with a minx smile. “I seem to be arousing a lot of you these days. No, all I meant was… why does everything have to be solved through battles and wars?”<br/><br/>Arthur tilted his head, “What other way is there?”<br/><br/>Gwen shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe they could sit down and discuss their problems.”<br/><br/>A snigger escaped Arthur’s lips. “Sit down and discuss it?”<br/><br/>“Yes, what’s wrong with that?” she asked. “Just sit everyone around a table and let them talk it out.”<br/><br/>“Well, we do that already.”<br/><br/>“I mean <em>before</em> a battle,” she explained, “not after while making a treaty. That way the problems can be discussed and settled before a war breaks out.”<br/><br/>Arthur smiled. He knew she meant it with the best intentions, but clearly came from someone who had never fought in battle. “It’s a nice idea, but I doubt it would ever work.”<br/><br/>“Why not?”<br/><br/>“Well there are so many kings in Albion,” he explained. “There are over fifty, and we’d have to have seats for the warlords and knights as well. That’s nearly two-hundred people crammed around a table.”<br/><br/>“Then make it a very big table.”<br/><br/>“On the other hand,” he went on, grinning. “It wouldn’t work because a war would break out over who gets to sit at the head of the table – let alone why they’re sitting at the bloody table in the first place.”<br/><br/>Gwen thought for a moment before shrugging. “Then make it a round table.”<br/><br/>They both laughed before the tone returned to seriousness again.<br/><br/>Arthur shook his head, “It might work one day. I wish there was a better system for the kings, the warlords and the knights to communicate. It’s too late to sort out the crisis in Rheged since the war has already started and it runs the risk of spreading too.”<br/><br/>She reached over and took his hand. “I know you’re worried.”<br/><br/>“I am,” he admitted. “But I’m more worried about what that ambassador is doing here in Camelot.”<br/><br/>“Arthur,” Gwen said gently. “If the war does spread will you have to fight?”<br/><br/>He sat in silence, reluctant to answer the question. “It’s my duty to do so.”<br/><br/>A sickly pain grasped in her chest that she tried to ignore. She forced herself to smile, “I know.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>The evening darkened the dining room as the king and the ambassador spoke of the conflict in Rheged. When it came to foreign policy there was no other subject. Much to Uther’s irritation Arthur was late coming home for dinner – he was close to sending guards out just to embarrass him. He knew he couldn’t have gone far.<br/><br/>“You must excuse my son,” Uther told Áedh.<br/><br/>“Of course, sire,” he replied. “I imagine he’s just at ‘that’ age. The princes in Lothian are similar.”<br/><br/>“If the sons are like that they must be luckier with their daughters,” Uther joked. At the mention of daughters he looked over at Morgana. She was sitting silently at the other end of the table, picking at a piece fruit. He had noticed she was distracted tonight. “Are you alright, Morgana?”<br/><br/>Morgana looked up. “Sorry?”<br/><br/>“Are you feeling well?”<br/><br/>“Oh, yes, my lord. I’m fine, thank you.”<br/><br/>Her mind wasn’t in the room with Uther and the ambassador. All she could think about was whether she would have a dream that night and what happened earlier with Merlin.<br/><br/>Uther scowled; this was very unlike Morgana. “Are you certain you are alright? You look a little flushed.”<br/><br/>Her hand snaked up to her cheeks and dabbed them with the palms. “I’m fine; I’m just not very hungry.”<br/><br/>“Do you have any idea where Arthur is?” he asked.<br/><br/>Morgana didn’t know exactly, but she had a good idea. “I don’t, no.”<br/><br/>The doors behind her opened at that moment and, as if on cue, Arthur strode in. Uther reclined in his chair, waiting for his son to say something.<br/><br/>The prince cleared his throat, “I’m sorry I’m late, father.”<br/><br/>The king gestured his hand for his son to sit down. “This seems to be a habit you are slipping into these days,” Uther said. “Do you have any reason?”<br/><br/>Arthur sat down, his eyes gazing over as he tried to find an excuse. “I was just… about the city and lost track of time. Merlin—”<br/><br/>Morgana gave him a harsh look that Arthur read immediately. Don’t you dare try and blame Merlin.<br/><br/>He sighed, “I should have told Merlin to inform you that I might be late but I forgot.”<br/><br/>“That makes a change,” Uther said, leaning over to Ambassador Áedh. “His half-witted manservant. He frequents the stocks so often I’m thinking of charging people to throw food at him. Make some money out of him.”<br/><br/>The ambassador laughed as Arthur took his seat opposite him. The prince nodded his head respectfully. “I apologise for not being here.”<br/><br/>“Not at all, sire.”<br/><br/>Uther glanced over at Morgana, who had now directed her harsh stare at him. She quickly looked away when she realised he had noticed. The king found his old suspicions aroused again as he knew her scowl had been in Merlin’s defence. Although he know longer believed something was going on between them he couldn’t help noticing the subtle mannerisms.<br/><br/>The rest of dinner was quiet except for murmured discussions between the king and the ambassador. Arthur helped himself to a few grapes, only half hearing the conversation, his mind on his own discussion with Gwen. Morgana left the food and turned to the wine instead.<br/><br/>Arthur noticed her reach for her third cup when he finally spoke up. “Maybe you should have a lie down, Morgana. You don’t look well.”<br/><br/>Morgana managed to nod through the cosy feeling of too much drink. “Yes, maybe I should.”<br/><br/>She got to her feet, still sober enough to keep her balance, and walked slowly out of the room. Uther watched with his own scowl, unimpressed with his children’s behaviour.<br/><br/>“I don’t understand it,” he finally said to the ambassador. “Usually she is the more composed of the two.”<br/><br/>Arthur tried not to look offended.<br/><br/>Uther turned to his son, “I don’t suppose you know what is wrong with her?”<br/><br/>“It is probably just one of these women’s complaints.”<br/><br/>“You seem to have little appetite as well,” the father commented.<br/><br/>“I’ve already had something…” Arthur said without thinking. Gwen had made him some sandwiches earlier. “Merlin made me something earlier.”<br/><br/>Uther pursed his lips. He had thought about this moment all day. He knew he had to tell Arthur why the ambassador from Orkney was in Camelot especially now that the talks of the marriage were officially underway. It was hardly fitting to keep it secret any longer.<br/><br/>When the three men stood at the end of dinner Uther struck: “Arthur, I would like you speak to you privately.”<br/><br/>He turned to the ambassador and shook his hand, “It has been a pleasure speaking with you. There are one or two issues I would like to discuss with you in the morning.”<br/><br/>The king raised his eyebrows, and the ambassador got the meaning. “Certainly, sire.”<br/><br/>The prince and the ambassador exchanged good nights with each other before Áedh left the king alone with his son.<br/><br/>Arthur hated moments like this with his father. There was always a sense of impending doom. He knew his father had something serious to say when he couldn’t say it in front of other people. This had to be something personal.<br/><br/>Uther began, struggling to find the right words, and reinforcing Arthur’s feelings dread. “Arthur, do you recall when you were a boy and I told you the three most important things a king should do?”<br/><br/>“Yes, father.”<br/><br/>“Quote them to me.”<br/><br/>Arthur rolled his eyes back, searching for the information in his mind. Finally he nodded and said; “First is to always defend Camelot’s boarders and always be prepared to take up arms against any enemy that threatens the kingdom.”<br/><br/>Uther nodded, “And the second?”<br/><br/>“To carry on the reforms and promote the fight against the old religion,” Arthur replied.<br/><br/>The king leant on the table, staring at his son. “And what is the third?”<br/><br/>There was a short pause. Arthur had an awful feeling he knew where the conversation was going. “The third thing you told me is that I should marry and produce an heir.”<br/><br/>“Exactly,” Uther replied. “In some ways it is the most important thing you could possibly do to contribute to the country. The battles you win against both your enemies and the evils of magic will be remembered in records and books. An heir is a living memento. He will be here when you are gone, and his son will be here when both of you are gone.”<br/><br/>“Yes,” Arthur replied quickly, “and when the time comes I will fulfil those three tasks. I assure you I will.”<br/><br/>“Indeed,” Uther said turning to look out the window. “I shall not beat about the brush any longer, Arthur.” He turned to look at his son. “I am currently in talks with your uncle for you to marry Elaine.”</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arthur stared at his father.<br/><br/>He had suspected this painful father-son chat was leading to the conclusion of ‘find a wife’. He had even suspected his father would suggest Morgana – to which Arthur had already developed several excuses involving the word ‘like’ accompanied by ‘sister’ and ‘incest’ – which would have bought him more time to think.<br/><br/>It seemed his father was one step ahead of him.<br/><br/>The truth was that Arthur had been worming out of the marriage question since he was eighteen. He was now twenty-one and he had run out of leeway, not to mention time. He realised at that moment why his father had called the ambassador in. It was to trap him, to get the conversations underway before he could object.<br/><br/>Of all the women his father could have chosen he did not see <em>this</em> coming. Elaine: his <em>own cousin</em>. He wondered if he could still use the same excuses he had planned to avoid marriage with Morgana here too. But all that came out in the end was:<br/><br/>“Elaine?”<br/><br/>“A suitable match,” Uther declared. “Ambassador Áedh came to Camelot to propose the terms of the marriage.<br/><br/>Arthur slumped into a chair. “How long have you been planning this?”<br/><br/>“Since May.”<br/><br/>“The letter you asked Gawain to take to his father was about Elaine?”<br/><br/>“Yes.”<br/><br/>“Did Gawain know?”<br/><br/>“I wanted to keep it between Lot and myself. Elaine was still engaged to Claudius at the time.”<br/><br/>“But you knew it wouldn’t last so you thought you’d get your foot in before the other princes in Albion did?” Arthur asked sarcastically.<br/><br/>“I knew Lot had been keen on a match between our families for a long time,” the king replied firmly. “Elaine is a fine young woman that any man would be lucky to be married to.”<br/><br/>“Then <em>you</em> marry her!”<br/><br/>Uther slammed his hand against the wooden table. “I wish you would be grateful for what I am doing. I was one of four brothers but I was the only one who had a child. You were an <em>only</em> child and all I have done since you were born is fear for your life.”<br/><br/>Arthur sighed, “What are you saying, father?”<br/><br/>“This marriage is about more than strengthening the alliance between Camelot and Orkney,” Uther explained. “Anna has had many live and healthy children, most of whom were males. As Anna’s daughter there is a good chance Elaine will be the same; you shouldn’t have just one heir, but several heirs.”<br/><br/>“Yes, father.”<br/><br/>“Elaine is a good choice for your queen,” Uther finished.<br/><br/>Arthur nodded his head, irritated. “I concede that Elaine would make a man a good queen. She is intelligent, beautiful and, as you say, comes from a fertile mother.”<br/><br/>There was a long pause.<br/><br/>The king sat down again at the head of the table. “But?”<br/><br/>‘But’, indeed. It wasn’t until that moment that Arthur had a moment to stop and think.<br/><br/>The wealth of information had drowned him in so much confusion that it was only then he thought of Gwen; what would she think of all of this? The mere thought of her at that moment sent a powerful spark thundering through his body.<br/><br/>It seemed that the months he and Gwen spent carefully treading passed everyone in the castle had paid off; his father seemed utterly clueless.<br/><br/>“It’s just so sudden,” Arthur finally replied. “I haven’t even thought about marriage or children. I’m only twenty-one, after all.”<br/><br/>“It’s about time you <em>did</em> start thinking about them,” his father told him. “I married your mother around the age you are now. Naturally the marriage will not happen for a while yet; a year, maybe a year and a half, at least.”<br/><br/>Arthur looked up at his father, “You should have told me before now. Does Elaine know what you and her father plan for her?”<br/><br/>“I imagine so,” Uther replied. “Your aunt was never one to keep a secret as big as this quiet.”<br/><br/>“So <em>everyone</em> knew about this before I did?” the young man snapped.<br/><br/>“If everyone knew you wouldn’t have heard it from me,” his father retorted. “It is still early in the negotiations.”<br/><br/>Arthur threw his head back and stared at the ceiling. This was all too much even if the negotiations <em>were</em> in early stages. This news practically meant that Arthur was engaged. To Elaine!<br/><br/>“Elaine…” Arthur said in disbelief.<br/><br/>“Would you rather have had someone you didn’t even know?” the king snapped. “At least you are marrying someone you know and love already.”<br/><br/>“There is a difference between cousinly love and romantic love,” Arthur retorted.<br/><br/>“And you would know I suppose?”<br/><br/>Arthur remembered when Gwen had been sentenced to death for witchcraft. If he had felt as he did now for Gwen he would have thrown away the evidence without a second thought; he should have done so anyway.<br/><br/>There was a long transition between Uther’s question and Arthur’s answer that caught the king’s attention.<br/><br/>He almost didn’t hear his son’s reply: “I like Elaine, as a cousin.”<br/><br/>Uther sighed. “You always knew this day would come. I realise this is a lot to take in but I assure you that in many marriages of alliance love develops over time.”<br/><br/>Arthur walked over to the window. “I don’t think so.”<br/><br/>“Sometimes cousinly love is enough,” Uther continued. “The main purpose of marriage is to have children. That shouldn’t be a difficult task; they say Elaine has grown up to very beautiful.”<br/><br/>“You could say she was the most beautiful woman in the world, it doesn’t mean I’d agree,” Arthur replied. “Or that I’d want to reproduce with her.”<br/><br/>“It’s very easy, Arthur,” Uther stated.<br/><br/>Arthur opened his mouth to say something but closed it again.<br/><br/>He shook his head and rubbed his eyes as he tried to picture what Elaine looked like now. He had not seen her since she was fourteen but she couldn’t have changed much as she looked eighteen then. There was no denying she was beautiful or that she looked like a queen. But Arthur didn’t want a queen; he wanted a woman.<br/><br/>Uther noticed the reluctance of his son was more than shock. He cleared his throat to gain Arthur’s attention but he didn’t turn to look at him.<br/><br/>“Arthur I have to ask—how should I put this?” he began. “I know that a young man of your age has probably had a few romances, including… <em>pre-marital relations</em>. Am I right?”<br/><br/>Arthur still did not turn, but he slowly inclined his head to show the affirmative.<br/><br/>“I imagine also,” Uther went on, “that some of these relationships may have lasted longer than a passing fancy?”<br/><br/>Arthur half-turned to face his father but still said nothing.<br/><br/>“I suppose there is a ‘favourite’?” Uther finished.<br/><br/>Arthur span around and nearly protested that it wasn’t a case ‘favouritism’. But he managed to curb his tongue; he knew that would blow nearly three months of cover in one second.<br/><br/>Once again Uther read his expression. “If you do have a mistress I will need to know everything about her. It may cause embarrassment if she were to be exposed at a later date.”<br/><br/>Arthur swallowed. “If I did have a mistress then it would be my business, father. Not yours.”<br/><br/>“Your business is my business,” Uther retorted. “I am the king; everything is my business. I’m not interested in the details as where and with whom you dispose your body it your business. However I will not allow Elaine to be open to malicious gossip when she comes here; think of your reputation.”<br/><br/>“It’s a bit too late to be painting me a model of virtue, father. I think my ‘reputation’ is already wide-knowledge.”<br/><br/>“Tell me the name of your mistress!”<br/><br/>Arthur shook his head and swiftly turned to leave.<br/><br/>Everything was starting to bog him down. He didn’t want to hear about his father’s plans or anything else. All he wanted to do was sit in a corner and shut out everything. He needed to work everything over in his head. At that moment he couldn’t even have faced Gwen. He knew that if he were to see her he wouldn’t be able to look her in the eyes.<br/><br/>“It changes nothing,” Uther called after him. Arthur stopped. “If war breaks out over Albion we will need a firm alliance with Lot.”<br/><br/>Arthur looked over his shoulder.<br/><br/>“You have never let me down in the course of your duty,” he went on. “I hope you will continue to do what is best for Camelot.”<br/><br/>The prince tightened his jaw and nodded. “Of course, father.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>It was gone seven when Merlin finally returned home. Gaius was sat at the table waiting for him. The dinner had gone cold. As soon as the young warlock came through the door Gaius leapt out of his chair to scold him for his tardiness.<br/><br/>“Where on earth have you been?” he snapped. “I told you to be back by half six for your dinner. What have you been doing all this time?”<br/><br/>Merlin leant against the door looking dazed. “I’ve been around.”<br/><br/>Gaius rolled his eyes, “I suppose you’ve been teaching Morgana, have you?”<br/><br/>Merlin shot him a horrified look. “Why do you say it like <em>that</em>?”<br/><br/>“Like what?” Gaius asked, confused.<br/><br/>He babbled on, “—I don’t spend <em>all</em> my free time with Morgana, you know. I live a very diverse life. I even found a home for Fach.”<br/><br/>“Did you?” asked the old man, wondering what the boy was worked up about. “Whom did you give her to?”<br/><br/>He scratched the back of his neck, “Gwen.”<br/><br/>“Ah,” said Gaius. “Morgana and Gwen, and I suppose you can count Arthur. Three people; that’s very diverse—”<br/><br/>Merlin bit his bottom lip; his cheeks were flushed with embarrassment.<br/><br/>Gaius scowled, “What have you done?”<br/><br/>The boy folded his arms, “Nothing, I swear.”<br/><br/>“Something has happened,” Gaius stated. “I know that look.”<br/><br/>“W-what look?”<br/><br/>“<em>That</em> look,” he said pointing at Merlin’s pale face, red cheeks and doe-eyes. “It tells me whenever you’ve done something wrong. You couldn’t be discreet if your life depended on it.”<br/><br/>“And yet I’m still here,” chuckled Merlin nervously.<br/><br/>Gaius looked at him, his scowl dissolving into a form of concern.<br/><br/>“If it’s not something you have done, then it must be something that you know,” he paused. “Or maybe something has happened to you?”<br/><br/>Merlin glanced at Gaius from the corner of his eyes. “Maybe.”<br/><br/>“Is it something you can talk about?”<br/><br/>“Not really.”<br/><br/>Gaius picked up Merlin’s dinner. “Are you hungry? I could heat this up.”<br/><br/>Merlin shook his head.<br/><br/>He put his hands into his pocket awkwardly as Gaius cleared the table of uneaten food while he lectured Merlin about how not eating would make him ill and that someone of his ‘small frame’ needed all the food it could get.<br/><br/>He clutched his fists inside the pocket and he felt a piece of paper in there. As he pulled it out he remembered finding the spell tucked between the two pages of his magic book the previous night.<br/><br/>Looking up from the table Gaius saw Merlin standing with the paper in his hand. He cleared his throat and the boy looked up.<br/><br/>“Gaius…”<br/><br/>The old man nodded. “Yes, Merlin. I should have known it would be a matter of time before you found that spell.”<br/><br/>They both sat down at the table. Merlin opened the piece of paper in front of him and rested his chin on his hands. “What is it?”<br/><br/>Gaius put on his glasses and took the paper in his hands, “It is a spell. Well, the word ‘enchantment’ would suit it better. ‘<em>Yn Cysgu Addoed, Yn Bucheddu Addoed</em>’, known more commonly as ‘The Invincible Spell’.”<br/><br/>“Where did it come from?” Merlin asked.<br/><br/>“I came upon it over twenty years ago,” Gaius explained. “It was actually found by Nimueh—”<br/><br/>“Hmm,” Merlin commented mordantly. “Our favourite person.”<br/><br/>“She tried to master the spell,” he went on. “I realised the damage it could do so I hid it from her. Fortunately I did so around the time Arthur was born and Nimueh fell from favour. The purges began and I hid the spell book—with the enchantment hidden between the pages—where it remained until I gave it to you.”<br/><br/>“I couldn’t read it very well when I found it.”<br/><br/>“It’s just as well,” Gaius said, his tone becoming serious. “If anyone could make the spell work <em>you</em> could… and that’s the last thing we want.”<br/><br/>“Why, what does it do?”<br/><br/>The old man took a breath. “It is supposedly a very powerful enchantment that puts a person into a deep, ageless sleep.”<br/><br/>Merlin raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t sound too terrible.”<br/><br/>“Believe me, it is” Gaius said sternly. “It is possibly one of the most terrifying spells in existence. The spell doesn’t just put someone to sleep; it is an <em>everlasting</em> sleep. A sort of… living death.”<br/><br/>Merlin swallowed. “You mean that if this spell was used on someone it would put them to sleep… and they’d <em>never</em> wake up?”<br/><br/>Gaius nodded slowly. “That’s why I had to hide it. Nimueh was a very powerful sorceress. If she had perfected the spell she would have used it against anyone who stood in her way.”<br/><br/>“And they’d be more or less dead?”<br/><br/>“The only difference is that the person is alive,” Gaius explained. “The old fables say that while under the invincible spell a person’s spirit is left drifting between the physical world and Avalon forever.”<br/><br/>“Couldn’t someone just kill them while they’re asleep?” Merlin asked.<br/><br/>“No, nothing can kill them,” Gaius told him. “They are immortal; they cannot age, cannot be harmed and cannot be woken.”<br/><br/>Merlin was deep in thought. “I think I’d rather be dead.”<br/><br/>“That’s the point of the spell,” Gaius finished. “It exiles a person from this life and the next.”<br/><br/>Merlin took the spell from Gaius as a thought occurred to him, “If you didn’t want Nimueh to have the spell, why didn’t you just destroy it?”<br/><br/>Gaius folded his arms and nodded towards the fire. “Try it.”<br/><br/>The young man obeyed. After a moment’s consideration he threw the spell onto the flames. He watched keenly. It took a moment for his eyes to focus. The flames licked the page as if it were a wind blowing under it rather than a consuming fire.<br/><br/>Merlin quickly picked out the paper with the hot tongs. It was then he saw that there was no damage whatsoever. He reached out to touch it. “It’s not even singed or hot or… how is that?”<br/><br/>Gaius shrugged, “Maybe the paper the spell is written on is invincible too.”<br/><br/>Merlin sat back down. “What are we going to do with it?”<br/><br/>“Put it back in the book and forget about it.”<br/><br/>He smiled, “Aren’t you worried I’ll be tempted to use it?”<br/><br/>Gaius leant forward, “I’m going to trust your better judgement.”<br/><br/>“You know better than to do that!” Merlin joked.<br/><br/>The old man managed to smile as Merlin went towards his room to hide the spell. A thought suddenly occurred to him. “Merlin?”<br/><br/>The young man turned around. “Yes?”<br/><br/>“Don’t ever show that spell to <em>anyone</em> else,” Gaius ordered. “Not even Morgana, certainly not Morgana. Do you understand me?”<br/><br/>Merlin looked away awkwardly. The mention of Morgana made him remember what had happened earlier. It had awakened a dormant feeling in him that he didn’t know was there. He wasn’t certain he could even look her in the face let alone show her a random spell she couldn’t understand anyway.<br/><br/>Gaius noted the change in Merlin’s expression and decided to press again to find out what was bothering him. “Merlin, what is wrong with you? Is it something Morgana said or did?”<br/><br/>“I-it’s nothing,” he replied, scratching the back of his neck again. “I swear it’s nothing you need to worry about.”<br/><br/>“And she hasn’t done anything to upset you?” Gaius queried.<br/><br/>Merlin stared into space. “Not upset me, no.”<br/><br/>He went up to his room and rummaged about to find the spell book out, (clearly noting the room had been tidied), before suddenly stopping and coming back down.<br/><br/>“Gaius?”<br/><br/>“Hmm?”<br/><br/>“The enchantment,” he said. “There must be some way of lifting it. I mean, every spell can be lifted or fixed or something.”<br/><br/>“There are fables of cures for the spell but none of them are credible.”<br/><br/>“Like what?”<br/><br/>“In some fairytales the kiss of the person’s true love can wake them,” Gaius replied. “Another says that the person can awake after one hundred years. The only serious one is…”<br/><br/>Merlin tilted his head, “Is what?”<br/><br/>“The only person who can lift the spell is the person who cast it,” he said. “But even that is debatable; it’s just a powerful spell.”<br/><br/>Merlin nodded, “It’s not worth the risk of trying, is it?”<br/><br/>“No,” Gaius replied firmly, and he kept his eyes on Merlin until he disappeared into his room again and closed the door.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arthur rose in the early hours of the morning to see Gwen.<br/><br/>He couldn’t sleep as unpleasant thoughts popped into his head. There was something innately wrong about the idea of marrying Elaine. It wasn’t just that she was his cousin; he simply had a deep feeling inside that it wasn’t right. He remembered that was what Elaine was like, and there was no reason to suspect she’d have changed much since then.<br/><br/>In his disturbed state he felt only Gwen could help him get his head around everything. There was something about the way she put things. When she did every word had a meaning and she never wasted words on false flattery like other women in his life did.<br/><br/>As he got dressed he thought about how much he had come to depend on Gwen for council. It wasn’t just in her words he found assurance. He found it in her presence, whether they were holding hands, kissing or making love, she was always present and consistent. She never fished for compliments and never told him anything about him that she didn’t think was true.<br/><br/>Sometimes he felt she was the only truly honest thing about him, and yet they were forced to behave like their relationship was dishonest<br/><br/>He hid his face from the passing guards patrolling the streets and took the shortcut down the ally that led to Gwen’s house.<br/><br/>When he reached her house he peered inside. A candle was still burning by her bedside. Gwen was lying in bed with her eyes closed while stroking little Fach’s head. The little dog seemed to sense him and rushed to the window where he was, wagging her tail. Her movement made Gwen open her eyes to hush her.<br/><br/>Outside Arthur walked around to the door and knocked. Fach followed him from the inside and began scratching at the door for him to be let in.<br/><br/>Gwen opened the door and she could barely believe it was Arthur—in the pit of her stomach she knew something had to be wrong.<br/><br/>“Arthur,” she whispered in disbelief. “What are you doing here at this time in the morning?”<br/><br/>He stepped into the house. Fach crawled up to him shyly and patted his boots with her paw. He knelt down to gently stroke the dog’s glossy coat before he stood again. Fach went over to her blanket having got what she wanted.<br/><br/>Arthur turned to Gwen, barely knowing what to say now he was there.<br/><br/>“Guinevere” he began.<br/><br/>“Oh no,” Gwen said under her breath. “I hate it when you say my name like that.”<br/><br/>“Like what?”<br/><br/>Gwen went back to her bed and sat down.<br/><br/>“You are the only one who calls me by my full name and you have three ways of saying it,” she explained. “The first is firm where you stress the end of my name to get my attention. The second is teasing, a tone you usually save when you’re flirting or trying to seduce me.”<br/><br/>He couldn’t help smirking and nodded his head proudly.<br/><br/>“The third is the one you just used, where you say every syllable in the same tone and without relish. You only do that when being serious or bringing bad news.”<br/><br/>Arthur tilted his head, “Am I really <em>that</em> predictable?”<br/><br/>“I’ve known you a long time,” she replied. “And in these last few months where we have been lovers I have picked up on your tactics. It’s how I know what’s coming.”<br/><br/>He sighed and sat beside her on the bed. “You always know how to silence me.”<br/><br/>“What’s wrong, Arthur?”<br/><br/>Arthur wanted to get it all off his chest. He was dealing with emotions he had never felt before and never thought he’d feel. In the world the minstrels sung of he had always thought these feelings were a weakness. In reality it took great strength to face them.<br/><br/>He told Gwen everything from beginning to end.<br/><br/>When he had finished he ran his hands through his hair and over his face, not knowing what to do or think. The idea of marrying had not yet sunk in, but the thought of what it might do to Gwen had, and he hated himself for it.<br/><br/>“I had to tell you.”<br/><br/>“Yes,” she replied, not knowing what to say. “I’m glad you told me rather than lying to me.”<br/><br/>“I wouldn’t have been able to look you in the eyes if I did not tell you.”<br/><br/>There was a long pause.<br/><br/>Gwen felt a burning pain in her chest. It was cold fear, the sort that made you wonder if the pain would ever stop. She had known deep down this day would come, but it still got her like a slap in the face.<br/><br/>Nonetheless she could not help but feel a deep surge of respect for him in that moment. Many other men would have tried to hide the truth or lied to her face. Arthur could lie as easily as any man but couldn’t bring himself to lie to her, but he didn’t.<br/><br/>“I can’t say I’m surprised,” she finally said.<br/><br/>“About what?”<br/><br/>“That your father wants you to marry Elaine. She is probably the most eligible princess in the land.”<br/><br/>“He just sprung it on me unexpectedly.”<br/><br/>“A little like love, then?” Gwen commented.<br/><br/>He fished around for her hand, found it and clasped it to his chest. Gwen could feel his heart through his shirt. She forced her face to make a brave smile.<br/><br/>“Maybe you should consider yourself lucky,” she suggested.<br/><br/>“Lucky!”<br/><br/>“She’s supposed to be the most beautiful woman in the land.”<br/><br/>“I <em>know</em> what Elaine looks like. Yes, she is beautiful, but I just can’t imagine… I don’t want…”<br/><br/>Gwen squeezed his hand.<br/><br/>In a second all thoughts of Elaine disappeared and all he could think about was Gwen. All he wanted to do was take her, hold her and feel her against him. His thoughts came easily with her; they were natural and genuine.<br/><br/>He leant forward and kissed her, moving his hands to her shoulders to keep them locked together. She instinctively allowed him to push her back against the pillows and trailed kisses down from her lips to her neck. As he reached her collarbone he uncovered the mark he had left on her the other night. It felt like an eternity ago.<br/><br/>Gwen’s hand rested on his chest to push him forward as she sat up again. This wasn’t the right time. Arthur looked at her and she tilted her head, “Please, don’t be sad. I don’t like seeing you so sad.”<br/><br/>“How do you do it?” he asked never taking his eyes off her. “You worry about me being sad, and not once thinking of yourself.”<br/><br/>“I don’t need to say how I feel because you already know,” she said reaching to touch his cheek. “And you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t care.”<br/><br/>Arthur sighed. He clasped her hand again, running his fingers over her knuckles, before bringing it to his lips.<br/><br/>Gwen soothingly ran her free hand through his hair and leant forward to place kisses on his temple, forehead and, after freeing her other hand, his lips.<br/><br/>Arthur suddenly blurted out. “I think my father knows…”<br/><br/>Gwen broke the kiss quickly, looking away, thinking of what the consequences might be. Everything had gone from being pure and simple to murky and complicated within a few hours. “About us?”<br/><br/>“He doesn’t know it’s you,” he replied. “But I think he suspects…”<br/><br/>“That you have a mistress?” she finished. “I doubt he’ll be too worried. You’re not the first prince to have a mistress and you’re certainly not going to be the last.”<br/><br/>Arthur hated the word ‘mistress’. He always thought of middle-aged noblemen who kept young women away in the country when heard that word. Every now and then you’d hear of how the nobleman had gone to the country for ‘rest’.<br/><br/>“You are not a just mistress,” he told her, “you are more than that.”<br/><br/>“How?”<br/><br/>“I don’t keep you for pleasure…” he stated. He then heard how she might have heard it, and decided to re-phrase. “What I mean is, obviously I find you both in personality and physically very attractive, and that side of our relationship very, <em>very</em> enjoyable and pleasurable and… well, you know because you’re there when we…”<br/><br/>Gwen raised her eyebrows.<br/><br/>Arthur grasped his throat as he tried to coax the right words out. “Nor do I ‘keep’ you or see you as a possession in any manner at all. What I meant was…”<br/><br/>Gwen placed a finger on his lips and he shut up immediately.<br/><br/>“I know what you meant,” she replied with a smile. “You know that most cardinal sin you always accuse me of? Backtracking. Well, you just proved yourself a <em>hypocrite</em>.”<br/><br/>She moved her finger away and Arthur took her hand again. “They’re so small compared to mine,” he observed.<br/><br/>Gwen did not understand what he meant at first. “Oh,” she said when she realised, “I should think so. I may be a handmaiden but I’m still a woman.”<br/><br/>They sat in silence for a moment, hand in hand. He was dreadfully unromantic when he wasn’t writing words in a letter. The only way he could express his feelings was by saying her name. The only other way he seemed to be able to do it was through touch.<br/><br/>“I have to get out of this,” he finally said.<br/><br/>“Don’t do anything foolish, Arthur” Gwen said quickly. “Don’t make a fool of yourself.”<br/><br/>“I thought women liked a man who would be a fool for her?” he said with a half smile.<br/><br/>“No, because then he would be humiliated,” she replied. “I wouldn’t want to see anyone I love humiliated because of me. I’d prefer them to be sensible and do what’s right.”<br/><br/>“But,” he went on, “what if there is no clear right or wrong? And what if I’m forced to do what I think is wrong?”<br/><br/>“No one can force you to do anything,” she told him. “You know that better than I do. That’s why I don’t want you to think that… you have to do any right by me if the best thing is to marry her.”<br/><br/>She couldn’t even find it in herself to say the girl’s name: Elaine.<br/><br/>“I can’t marry Elaine,” he said firmly. “Everything about the whole idea says ‘no’. Besides, if I did marry her,” he gripped her hand tighter, “we couldn’t carry on as we are now. You would never allow it.”<br/><br/>Gwen looked away.<br/><br/>“I just <em>couldn’t</em> have an affair with a married man. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone. It would make our relationship dirty and our love dishonest because you’d be an adulterer and I’d be a…” she stopped. “I’d still love you as much as ever. I always will.”<br/><br/>“Then tell me what I should do.”<br/><br/>“All I can say is don’t do something because it’s what your father wants or because you think it’s what I want,” she advised him. “You need to think is best for Camelot. I know deep down you wouldn’t allow yourself to do otherwise.”<br/><br/>Arthur nodded; all of a sudden he felt overwhelmingly tired. Gwen noticed this and straight away moved to let him lie down on the bed. “Try and sleep,” she told him.<br/><br/>“Someone might see me leave tomorrow morning.”<br/><br/>“I’ll wake you at dawn, I promise,” she told him. “I usually wake early anyway.”<br/><br/>“Then you should get some sleep too,” he murmured.<br/><br/>Arthur took her hand and pulled her towards him. Gwen decided not to argue and lay down next to him in the small space of her bed that remained. He wrapped his arms around her, locking the two of them securely together.<br/><br/>Once he was settled Arthur seemed to drift off immediately but Gwen found it harder. She shifted over to try and find a more comfortable position without waking Arthur up. She finally managed to settle her head against his chest; she usually found that the warmth and beating of his heart helped her drift off.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>The king had been working late into the night drafting letters to neighbouring kings about the crisis in Rheged. One was to King Lot in order to obtain information about the war itself and another was the dreaded letter to Anna about the betrothal. Writing to Anna was not a task Uther particularly enjoyed.<br/><br/>Of all the queens (and women in general) there were in the world there was none more intimidating than Anna. It was something he hated to admit to, especially since she had been Igraine’s younger sister by several years. Yet even as a teenager she had been dominating, in many ways the complete opposite of Igraine.<br/><br/>Uther worried at little that Elaine would be similar. Thankfully from what he remembered and what he had heard, she was like her mother but only to a certain point; otherwise she was a consort rather than a regent.<br/><br/>There was an old saying among that family that there were three types of people in the de Bois family – the placid, the blithe and the corrupt. Nothing said it better than the three de Bois siblings. Igraine had been placid, Anna was blithe and Tristan had been corrupt (although his devotion to his sisters was unquestionable.) He wondered how many of Anna’s brood were miniature Tristans. Certainly not Gawain or Elaine, but he had not heard much of the others.<br/><br/>A knock came at his door.<br/><br/>He took a slip of wine before allowing entry. “Come in.”<br/><br/>An old servant named George who frequented this wing of the castle entered the room and bowed before walking towards the king to deliver his message.<br/><br/>“Sire, forgive me for disturbing you,” he began. “The prince has left the castle.”<br/><br/>Uther put his cup down. “When was this?”<br/><br/>“About twenty minutes ago,” he replied. “I put a boy to following him as you asked, sire.”<br/><br/>“And he left no word as to where he was going?”<br/><br/>“None, sire,” he said. “In fact he tried to hide his face from the servants and the guards as he left.”<br/><br/>The king picked up the goblet of wine again. “I want to know exactly where he was when he returns, do you understand?”<br/><br/>“Yes, sire.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Morgana had been terrified of going to sleep that night. Part of her was terrified that if she went to sleep she would see the dream again but another part of her was terrified that she wouldn’t.<br/><br/>In her mind she couldn’t decide which was worse – seeing the dream or having a dreamless night. Without the dreams her life seemed to be filled with nothing but boredom and drinking without a cause. She had no purpose. When she dreamt she drank to dull her nerves but without her dreams she just drank to fill the void.<br/><br/>It was as Merlin said, without the dreams she felt like a normal person and she hated it. The dreams were proof of her powers and she wanted to use them for a purpose.<br/><br/>Merlin.<br/><br/>He was plaguing her mind too. She could think about him without the fear of him accidentally, or purposely, reading her mind when she was alone. All she could think about was that afternoon; her break in concentration and what she felt when she kissed him. It wasn’t just his power either.<br/><br/>As she lay trying to drift off to sleep she imagined what he was doing at that moment. He was probably lying on his cot waiting for sleep to take effect on him as well. She wondered whether he was thinking about her too.<br/><br/>Then she wondered why she cared.<br/><br/>She told herself the reason she cared was because he might choose not to teach her any more if he felt awkward around her, which would be terrible. But Morgana realised that the lessons had been more than a chance to broaden her knowledge of magic. They had been her only means of getting up close to him.<br/><br/>Morgana turned onto her side.<br/><br/>There was no way of explaining it. It was just a connection that she felt when she was with him and she didn’t know why it was or where it came from. Morgana felt it was because he understood her. Before he had shown her what she was and what she could do she had been miserable, nearing the point of madness.<br/><br/>The moment she had touched him for the first time it had been to prevent him from leaving. In that moment she had not only confirmed her suspicions about but had felt the extent of his power. It had offered her clarity; she had understood what she was in that moment.<br/><br/>She turned over again to get more comfortable and tried to think of nothing but pitch black to force the sleep along.<br/><br/>It didn’t work.<br/><br/>Again, the question of why she even cared about her power, his power or even what he thought of her. Her power was almost laughable compared to his, and his power was none of her concern although it certain drew her to him.<br/><br/>As for what he thought of her; he seemed to change his mind depending on what he felt she had done right or wrong that week.<br/><br/>That much Morgana did know.<br/><br/>When she was frantic over a dream or an omen or anything, she couldn’t help making a scene in her panic. She would rarely escape Merlin’s gaze during her bout of hysteria. Sometimes he would shut his jaw tight or roll his eyes or even try and usher her off, out of sight. Sometimes he would just tell her off: “You’re going to get us both killed one day.”<br/><br/>But the worst reaction was when he ignored her. He would look her dead in the eyes, free himself from her grasp and just walk away. It was as if he was taking her behaviour personally like it was done for his benefit, to gain his attention.<br/><br/>She opened her eyes.<br/><br/>Maybe it <em>was</em> for his benefit. When he ignored her it made her all the more desperate, but at least she would stop screaming and crying. Then he would listen to her. Morgana realised that deep down he wasn’t all smiles and sunshine. He knew he had to teach her to ‘behave’ herself and saw her as his responsibility. The cruel to be nice approach was the only way to stop her exposing them both.<br/><br/>Finally, sleep was starting to take hold of her. She closed her eyes and tried to think of nothing.<br/><br/>At last she fell asleep.<br/><br/>It took a while to fall in deep sleep. The dream had been pushed back into her mind and suppressed so long from the source of her powers that it was difficult for the dream to form in her mind.<br/><br/>Eventually the mind focused and the images began to take shape.<br/><br/>There was the sound of fire, battle cries and the clang of metal as towns, villages and fields burnt in the chaos. The girl with blonde hair she had seen in the ‘waking-vision’ appeared again, sitting by a window looking thoughtful. Then she saw Gwen, standing alone in her house, looking defeated and sad.<br/><br/>Morgana was nearly awoken in shock when she saw Merlin. He was walking towards Arthur with a look of anger in his face and yellow eyes, invisible to those who had no magic, blazing. He takes a bag from his belt and throws it at Arthur’s feet – silver coins spill out over the floor.<br/><br/>The image of the fire and battle cries rose up again as she saw men she did not recognise stand with Uther watching the flames, none of them caring where it went or spread…<br/><br/>Her sleep came to an abrupt end as her eyes opened and she sat bolt upright before she could see any more. She knew there was more to be seen in the dream, and she knew it had to be warning her of something…<br/><br/>She had to tell Merlin because despite the awkwardness of their situation it was clear he now played an important part. He was clearly angry with Arthur over something in the dream. Besides, she had promised to tell him if she had another dream.<br/><br/>At that moment elsewhere in the castle Merlin jolted awake from his half-slumber without reason or warning. He swiftly sat up right and looked around the dark room. It was illuminated by the moon and early sun shining jointly. On odd sensation had driven him awake, but he had no idea what.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>The sun was starting to show its face. The young boy who had been put to following the prince sat beside the house nearly falling asleep in the muggy warmth of the summer dawn.<br/><br/>He closed his eyes and leant his head against the cold wall.<br/><br/>The boy wondered if he had fallen asleep at some point during his wait. He had been asked to wait until the prince left to return to the castle. It had seemed like an important job at the time.<br/><br/>He was roused by the sound of the front door opening. He leapt to his feet and peaked around the corner to see who was coming out of the front door. He sighed with relief to see the prince finally emerge from the house.<br/><br/>Arthur strode past, not noticing the boy around the corner. The boy nearly rushed to follow him but then decided to peak through the window above his head. Inside he saw Gwen clearing a few things away, making her bed, feeding the dog and tying back her hair ready for work.<br/><br/>The neighbourhood was awakening and setting up for the day themselves when Gwen finally left the house to go to work.<br/><br/>Fach followed her out the door, stopped to sniff the ground and detected something new about the place. She trotted over to where the boy was hiding, following his footsteps with her nose. The boy was certain the puppy would find him, bark and draw Gwen’s attention to him. Maybe it would bite him! He held his breath and slowly backed away.<br/><br/>“Fach, heel!” Gwen called.<br/><br/>The little dog obeyed and ran so excitedly towards her mistress that she almost fell over her own paws.<br/><br/>The boy sighed with relief; the last thing he wanted was Gwen finding him swatting outside her house as she’d be sure to mention it to his mother who worked in the kitchens. He watched the dog rush to Gwen’s heels before setting on their tail too, back towards the castle.<br/><br/>He followed her as far as the large courtyard before she headed off in the direction of Gaius’s chambers, probably to collect something for Morgana or to speak to Merlin before work, as the boy knew they were friends.<br/><br/>He rubbed his eyes before he went in through one of the side doors, down a narrow corridor, across another small courtyard and into the castle towards the king’s quarters.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Gaius had only just finished breakfast when the door opened and Gwen’s head popped through it.<br/><br/>He turned and smiled, “Gwen—”<br/><br/>As she opened the door more little Fach excitedly ran into the room that was once her home. She rushed towards Gaius and stopped just a few inches in front of him and patted his feet with her paw. It was difficult even for Gaius to not find it adorable. He felt that Merlin had done the right thing in giving Fach to Gwen; the little dog suited her.<br/><br/>“Is Merlin here?” Gwen asked as she closed the door and came in.<br/><br/>“No, I’m sorry” Gaius replied. “He woke up early this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep, so he went straight to work. Is there something you want me to pass on to him?”<br/><br/>“Oh,” she said, not knowing what to say. “No, it’s just that Morgana asked me last night to tell Merlin she needs another sleeping draft and to make sure that it is Merlin who brings it.”<br/><br/>Gaius knew something was going on between those two but he didn’t press Gwen for information, as he knew she probably didn’t know any more than he did. “I’ll make sure he gets the message.”<br/><br/>Gwen sighed. She had been hoping to talk to Merlin about what had happened last night and find out if he knew anything more about Elaine. She knew she should have asked Arthur but she couldn’t bring herself to ask.<br/><br/>Finally she said, knowing Gaius would pass it on and Merlin would understand the meaning, “I’ve run out of my… prescription… too, and I really need some more today. He’ll know what I’m talking about.”<br/><br/>Gaius stared at her, not clue of what she meant. He guessed it was some sort of code, as he imagined the last request was. He nodded, “I’ll tell him as soon as he gets back.”<br/><br/>Gwen wondered whether or not to ask Gaius about Elaine. It was almost certain Gaius knew about the prospective marriage and she didn’t mind asking him; she was certain he knew about her and Arthur too.<br/><br/>“Gaius,” she said, “what do you know about Rheged?”<br/><br/>The old man looked up at her and realised straight away what the visit had <em>really</em> been about. He kept chopping up herbs to distract him from Gwen’s eyes. “What is it you want to know?”<br/><br/>“I’m just curious to know what is going on there.”<br/><br/>“To put it bluntly,” Gaius replied. “Rheged is a kingdom in Hen Ogledd that used to belong to the family of Prince Claudius but his great-grandfather lost a battle for it one hundred years ago leaving them only gore. The rest of it became a territory of the Orkney clan.”<br/><br/>“Elaine’s family,” Gwen said.<br/><br/>“Yes,” the old man went on. “When the king died he split his kingdoms between his sons. As the eldest Lot the Orkney Islands and Lothian, and Urien received Rheged. The conflict is over the fact that the king of Gore is dead leaving a teenage boy to wreck havoc on the north.”<br/><br/>“Where does Uther come into it?” Gwen asked. “What does he have to gain from taking sides or… marrying Arthur to Elaine?” He looked at her. “And don’t say you didn’t realise, I want to truth.”<br/><br/>The old man sighed.<br/><br/>“Lot is an unreliable man,” he explained. “He has a nasty habit of going back on his promises. The only thing that connects them is the fact Lot is married to Anna, so if she were to die suddenly there would be no one to pull him back. He sees Arthur marrying Elaine as the only way of making sure their bond is carried into the next generation.”<br/><br/>Gwen sighed; it all sounded hopelessly logical. “But what does Lot get out of the marriage?”<br/><br/>“I assume he will have an extra army to fight his war,” Gaius explained. “And he would have a daughter was the future queen-consort to one of the richest lands in the south of Albion.”<br/><br/>Gwen scowled. “That would mean that, for future generations of Camelot, for Arthur’s children, they would simply be a satellite for… whoever Gawain’s children are?”<br/><br/>“I can’t imagine the king chose this path easily but it goes without saying that if a war truly does break out, Camelot is rich but vulnerable compared to the Orkney clan.”<br/><br/>“I believe Camelot could be the most powerful kingdom in Albion if it wanted to,” Gwen said thoughtfully. “It could be the capital of a larger and greater country.”<br/><br/>Gaius couldn’t help smiling at her enthusiasm. “It would take a remarkable man to unite all the kingdoms under one high-king.”<br/><br/>“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” Gwen said, nodding. “I better take Fach home before I get to work…”<br/><br/>“Leave her here,” Gaius replied without thinking. He thought of his books and papers but couldn’t really retract the offer for the sake of some dusty books. He picked up the dog. “I’m sure you don’t want to leave her alone until lunch time.”<br/><br/>“Thank you, Gaius. I’ll collect her then.” She turned towards the door to walk out and said, “I’m starting to think Gawain is the only decent man in the Orkney clan.”<br/><br/>Gaius chuckled. “He probably is, but then again I always like his mother Queen Anna. Are you alright, Gwen?”<br/><br/>“Yes,” she lied. “I’m perfectly alright. I’m just a handmaiden. I have to carry on.”<a id="cutid1-end" name="cutid1-end"></a></p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Uther sat in silence with his hands over his mouth to hide an amused smirk. He could hardly believe what the old servant George had just told him. He had suspected everyone in regards to who the girl his son was cavorting with, except this.<br/><br/>“Are you certain?” the king asked.<br/><br/>“That is what the boy says,” the servant replied.<br/><br/>He motioned towards the terrified child that stood beside him. The boy stared unblinking at the frightening king of Camelot.<br/><br/>“The prince was seen going into her house and coming out early this morning. I myself witnessed his return to the castle… around half past five.”<br/><br/>Uther shook his head.<br/><br/>Guinevere. It hadn’t taken him long to recognise the name as that of Morgana’s maidservant. She was an apparently well-behaved, virtuous girl and was certainly a peck above the other servant girls in the palace being maidservant to Morgana. He realised that she was probably more than a conquest; she was a mistress.<br/><br/>He stood and began to pace the room, slowly.<br/><br/>“Any idea how long it has been going on?” Uther asked.<br/><br/>“Sadly, no” the servant replied.<br/><br/>“See if you can find out,” he advised. “I want to know if he makes any frequent visits there or if the girl has ever returned home late, or failed to return at all.”<br/><br/>“Yes, sire.”<br/><br/>The old servant pushed the boy’s head down to make it bow and backed them both towards the door. Once at the door he shoved the boy through them and bowed again before finally leaving.<br/><br/>Alone again the king settle back into his chair and thought of what his next action should be. If it turned out the relationship has been running for months rather than weeks then what could he do?<br/><br/>It was perfectly acceptable for a man to have a mistress, especially if he was a prince. It was well known that members of the court kept mistresses in the country, so they would hardly judge Arthur for having one of his own. If anything the appearance of a mistress at court excited and intrigued everyone.<br/><br/>On the other hand Uther did not want people joking about fact that of all the women at court the prince chose a maidservant for his ‘companion’. A high ranking maidservant yes, but she was still just a maidservant.<br/><br/>Moreover the last thing he wanted was for Elaine to turn up at court and find that she is being compared to a servant. It would be even worse if Elaine was left hugging an empty womb because her husband preferred a servant’s bed to his marriage bed. It would ensure a scandal and humiliation for all parties involved.<br/><br/>Uther picked up a goblet of wine and took a slip.<br/><br/>He was getting ahead of himself. It was still possible that this servant girl was merely the latest in a long line of conquests attributed to Arthur. It was widely rumoured that his son vented his frustrations on servant girls. They had admittedly been merely cinder maids and scullery maids, but maybe he was making his way up the hierarchy of the help. Uther wouldn’t put it past Arthur.<br/><br/>Either way, Uther thought, even if she was just a conquest I need to quash Arthur’s reputation before the match is finalised and Elaine comes to Camelot by any means possible.<br/><br/>He had long meant to talk to his son about digression when it came to his behaviour and now was as good a time to do it as ever.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>The morning was refreshing considering the night had been clammy but the kitchens were scolding. The fires had been lit since early that morning and the only thing ventilating it was an open window.<br/><br/>The heat hit the young servant boy as soon as he walked in and his cheeks flushed with it. He stood in front of a tall and thin woman stroked the fire to boil the eggs and water in the pot above it.<br/><br/>The woman turned and saw the boy.<br/><br/>“There you are!” she said. “What did George-up-stairs want with you? What have you done?”<br/><br/>“Nothing, mum,” he replied as he walked towards the stairs the led upstairs. “He asked me to follow Prince Arthur this morning.”<br/><br/>“I bet he did,” she said, unconvinced.<br/><br/>“He went to see a girl,” the boy went on.<br/><br/>His mother looked over at her son and rolled her eyes. “I <em>bet</em> he did.”<br/><br/>“You’ll never guess who it was,” the boy said.<br/><br/>“I’m sure I won’t,” she said, removing the eggs from the water.<br/><br/>“It was Gwen!”<br/><br/>“What did you say?” her attention finally caught, “Our Gwen here in the castle?”<br/><br/>The boy nodded.<br/><br/>The mother scowled and waved her spoon at him.<br/><br/>“How dare you run around telling lies like that?” she snapped. “Saying things like that about Gwen. I’ll tell you now—that girl worth <em>ten</em> of them royal highnesses upstairs, thank you very much. God bless her after all she’s been through. I doubt she wants to see that precious prince <em>from a distance</em>… I certainly wouldn’t!”<br/><br/>The boy pouted. “It’s true!”<br/><br/>“Be off with you, or you’ll get a clout!” she warned.<br/><br/>He stamped his foot angrily and rushed up the stairs, colliding into Merlin and Gregory as they were coming down. Merlin put his hands on the boy’s shoulders to keep him steady.<br/><br/>“Whoa, slow down there!” he chuckled.<br/><br/>The boy pouted again and pelted through the door. Gregory laughed and turned back to Merlin, who gave him a half smile. They walked over to the cook who was now attempting to take the shells off the scolding eggs.<br/><br/>Gregory rolled his eyes. “What’s up with him today?”<br/><br/>“I don’t know,” the cook replied. “He’s been saying all manner of things, none of them true. Thank God the rest of the staff is upstairs preparing breakfast else they’d be having a right gossip, I’m telling you—” she gestured over to a table with some old cheese on it. “Here, while you’re both here finish that cheese off.”<br/><br/>The two boys walked over and took a slice each while the cook went on talking.<br/><br/>“It’s only a few days old so it’s not nasty else I’d have thrown it away,” she explained. “I might as well give it to you two good boys who won’t make a fuss. It’s no good giving it to those three snobs up there, I’ll say…”<br/><br/>Merlin and Gregory looked at each other smirked.<br/><br/>“They <em>are</em> the royal family,” Merlin pointed out.<br/><br/>“They’re built the same as all men,” she replied. “Two day old cheese won’t do them any harm but <em>no</em>, not good enough for them, turn their nose up at anything…”<br/><br/>Their cook was famous for her bad mouthing the royalty upstairs. The servants admired her for it and for the most part agreed with her, so it never reached the outside of the kitchen. It was no worse than Merlin calling Arthur a prat to his face.<br/><br/>“Especially her ladyship,” the cook went on. At the mention of ‘her ladyship’ Merlin chocked on his cheese and Gregory had to slap his back. “You can’t get her to eat anything that isn’t straight from the cow; thinks she’s the Queen of Sheba, she does.”<br/><br/>“Amen,” Gregory agreed as he slapped Merlin’s back again. “What is the matter with you?”<br/><br/>Merlin managed to clear his throat and looked sheepishly at Gregory. He turned red from both chocking and embarrassment. “Sorry, it was just a cough.”<br/><br/>“No, I mean, you’re all a jitter today,” Gregory replied.<br/><br/>The problem was that every mention of Morgana reminded him that he would have to see her again soon, and he didn’t know how he’d face her after yesterday.<br/><br/>Merlin tilted his head and smiled, trying to look innocent. “Am I? Well, I’m alright.”<br/><br/>Gregory stared at him. “That smile of yours <em>always</em> foreshadows doom and gloom.”<br/><br/>The young man shook his head and turned to the cook. She handed him a bowl with the egg, some greens, some bread and a jug of water. “Thanks. Anything I need to do or can I just give it to him as it is.”<br/><br/>“Just as it is,” the cook said.<br/><br/>Merlin headed for the door while Gregory sat down. It then dawned on him that he hadn’t asked Gregory how he was in a long time.<br/><br/>“How are things going with Percival?” Merlin asked.<br/><br/>“Great,” Gregory replied. “I actually get paid more than I ever did as Arthur’s servant.”<br/><br/>“Percival isn’t hot headed like Arthur is,” Merlin agreed. He made his way up the stairs as he spoke. “I’d say you won the game by gaining him as a master.”<br/><br/>“Better than poor Eric who was made Lamorak’s servant recently,” Gregory laughed. “Did you know he had his arm in a sling?”<br/><br/>“I was there when it happened,” Merlin laughed. “I <em>carried</em> him to Gaius. I mean they just flattened him – Kay, Lamorak and Pelleas – just toppled right on top of him. They could treat him a bit nicer; he’s only a twelve.”<br/><br/>“Oi!” the cook shouted. “You two want to gossip like old women then do it on your time, not mine.”<br/><br/>Merlin replied with his trademark smile. “That’s the pot calling the kettle black.”<br/><br/>The cook turned and glared; both boys knew she was joking but it was still a frightening look. “Merlin, when do you come of age?”<br/><br/>“In a year and a half,” he replied, still smiling.<br/><br/>“God help us all!” Gregory joked.<br/><br/>“Well,” the cook replied. “If you want to live to see that day I suggest you get out now before I launch these cooking pots at <em>you</em>.”<br/><br/>Gregory rolled his eyes. “I’ll see you later, Merlin.”<br/><br/>Merlin nodded and disappeared up stairs to the corridors. He did his best to avoid going anywhere near Morgana’s room, forcing him to go the long way around instead of cutting through her wing of the castle.<br/><br/>It was coming up for half past eight when Merlin finally reached Arthur’s room. As per usual he walked in without knocking. He found Arthur fully dressed sprawled out on the bed lying on his stomach in an awkward position.<br/><br/>Merlin put down the food on the table and moved to the bed to rouse the prince. At first he just shook him, but the only reaction he received was an irritated grunt. Then he gave him a hard but painless slap on his shoulder.<br/><br/>“Wake up!” he said in a patronising voice that equalled that of a nursemaid. “The sun is shining, birds are singing and life is merry. Wake up!”<br/><br/>Arthur rolled onto his back and rubbed his eyes. Apart from a few hours curled up in bed with Gwen before she had to get up for work he had had no sleep.<br/><br/>He had spent most of the early morning pacing around his room thinking things over before he finally he had caught three quarters of an hour of sleep, which Merlin had interrupted.<br/><br/>He stumbled to his feet and to his table to eat breakfast. He wasn’t really that hungry despite the fact the last time he had eaten was the other night when Gwen had made him a sandwich. That morning she had tried to share her porridge with him but he just couldn’t face it, tasty as it had smelt. In the end he just sat at the table picking at the bowl of fruit.<br/><br/>Merlin noticed his lack of appetite. Arthur had never been much of an eater but breakfast was usually the only time he was truly hungry. He wondered whether to ask Arthur if something was wrong. He hoped to start a conversation; anything to take his mind off Morgana. He felt Arthur wanted to take his mind of something too, and he had a good feeling it was Gwen.<br/><br/>They probably had a small row the previous night, Merlin thought.<br/><br/>He remembered their first row when he had acted as messenger. He couldn’t even remember what the argument had been about. It didn’t take longer before Arthur ended up rushing to Gwen to apologise.<br/><br/>He knew it was either Gwen or the conflict on Rheged. These days it was either one or the other.<br/><br/>“Not feeling well this morning?” Merlin asked.<br/><br/>“No, I’m fine” Arthur replied half-heartedly. “I just didn’t get much sleep last night.”<br/><br/>Merlin couldn’t help chuckling as a connotation slipped into his head, “Oh, really?”<br/><br/>Arthur noted the tone of his voice. “Get your brain out of the gutter, Merlin, I didn’t mean it like <em>that</em>!”<br/><br/>“That makes a change,” Merlin said, not intending to say it out loud. Arthur fired a glare at him. The young man swallowed, “Sorry, it just slipped. Anything I can do to help?”<br/><br/>Arthur raised an eyebrow. “What could you do to help?”<br/><br/>Merlin stared back at him. “Err… The court physician is my guardian. That’s a start. The fact I’m your manservant full stop is a good contender for how I can help.”<br/><br/>“It’s never stopped you being useless before,” Arthur retorted. He looked at Merlin and saw the expression that always reminded Arthur of an injured animal. “Stop looking at me with those awful doe-eyes.”<br/><br/>“Sorry,” Merlin said as he looked away.<br/><br/>“Whenever you look at me with that face it makes me want to kill a deer.”<br/><br/>“God,” Merlin said rolling his eyes. “I can’t talk to you, can’t help you and I can’t even <em>look</em> at you without getting my head bitten off. Why don’t I just push off and come back when you need me? Better yet, why don’t you just go back to bed? You clearly got up on the wrong side of it this morning.”<br/><br/>Arthur stared at him.<br/><br/>“Do you enjoy being thrown in the stocks, Merlin?”<br/><br/>“Enjoy it?” the boy retorted. “I’m practically <em>famous</em> there now. Look, tell me what’s wrong and I might be able to help.”<br/><br/>“I told you,” Arthur said, his temples throbbed painfully. “I haven’t had much sleep. Besides I can’t afford to go back to bed. I have too much to think about.”<br/><br/>“Like what?”<br/><br/>“Nothing that would interest you; it’s just politics.”<br/><br/>“The war in Rheged?”<br/><br/>“It’s not a war yet.”<br/><br/>“But it will be,” Merlin replied confidently.<br/><br/>“You don’t know that.”<br/><br/>“I’m not completely out of tune with the world I’ll have you know. I know about the kings of Albion and I know that this conflict has been a long time coming.”<br/><br/>The prince regarded his servant and Arthur wondered whether to tell Merlin about Elaine. But then it would be like he was asking his opinion, and it wasn’t proper to take the opinions of a servant. Nonetheless he found himself seeking advice from Merlin anyway:<br/><br/>“Merlin,” he began. “I think you’re right when you say a war will break out, but if there was a chance to stop the war from starting or at least avoid it from spreading, would you do it?”<br/><br/>Merlin looked from side to side. “Are you asking me what I would do?”<br/><br/>“Yes, I am.”<br/><br/>“My opinion?” he asked with a smile.<br/><br/>“Merlin,” Arthur snapped. “For goodness sake just answer the damned question!”<br/><br/>“It would depend on what I had to do,” he said finally.<br/><br/>“You would have to strengthen an unofficial alliance by making it official,” Arthur replied.<br/><br/>“What would the alliance expect of me?”<br/><br/>Arthur didn’t want to tell him the truth so he generalised his answer: “I don’t know… promise an army to the other person to put pressure on the opposing side… err, marry someone’s daughter, or promise protection to the ally if they need it.”<br/><br/>“I don’t know anything about armies but I’d only offer what I can spare, and even then I wouldn’t <em>give</em> it. The same goes with the promise of protection.”<br/><br/>Arthur nodded, “And if you had to marry?”<br/><br/>“That would never happen to me” Merlin replied. “That only happens to royalty and nobility.”<br/><br/>“I don’t know,” the prince smirked. “Maybe if you messed around with a farmer’s daughter or something he’d force you down the aisle with a pitchfork in your back. Then again, maybe not… it is <em>you</em> after all.”<br/><br/>“You seem to think I’m completely naïve to <em>that</em> as well, don’t you?” Merlin tilted his head as he noticed Arthur’s thoughtful expression. “Arthur…” he went on. “Does all this have anything to do with the ambassador from Orkney coming here?”<br/><br/>Arthur decided then that he didn’t want to talk about it. He swiftly stood, “Thank you, Merlin. You may go now and get on with whatever it is you are meant to be doing.”<br/><br/>“Is it, though?”<br/><br/>“Merlin, if I decide to tell you something” the prince replied firmly. “Then I’ll tell you, but <em>this</em> none of your concern… and you need to get into the habit of keeping your nose out of things that have nothing to do with you.”<br/><br/>“Nothing to do with—” the young servant spluttered. “You just <em>sat</em> there for the last five minutes <em>asking</em> me what I would do…”<br/><br/>“<em>Goodbye</em>, Merlin,” Arthur snapped.<br/><br/>Merlin was annoyed now. He stormed towards the door and, to show Arthur he was in a <em>very</em> bad mood now, he slammed it behind him.<br/><br/>Arthur flinched at the banging door. Any other master would have had Merlin swiftly thrown in the stocks but he decided to tolerate his bad mood because he owed Merlin for all the times he had taken a dive for him. Even if he didn’t he would probably have let it pass.<br/><br/>Arthur was glad to be alone again, as he needed time to think. He had to think about what he was going to do.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>“…And these reports are accurate?”<br/><br/>“Yes, sire,” replied old George. “It didn’t take long. There is evidence to suggest that the prince has been to the girl’s house in the evening a few times before and when he is on patrol he does spend a good deal of his time in that area.”<br/><br/>Uther nodded. “What about the girl?”<br/><br/>“A little harder to trace, admittedly, due to her station,” the servant explained. “But her neighbours have said the girl has returned late at night for a while now; the most times a week this happened as many as five.”<br/><br/>The king pointed at him, “She could have just been tending to Morgana. The girl sometimes stays in the castle to look after her when her nightmares are at their worst.”<br/><br/>“I thought of that too, sire,” the servant said, as if he had achieved a great cunning in doing so. “I asked Gaius whether the lady had required any particularly strong sleeping drafts over the last month or two. He told me that the Lady Morgana hasn’t required a sleeping draft for the <em>last three weeks</em> or so. I even asked him if there was any chance Merlin could be taking them to her, and he said no.”<br/><br/>Uther thought about this. It was good to hear that Morgana’s nightmares were clearing up but when the servant mentioned Merlin an inspired thought came to him. It had come to his attention that ritually the pair of them would meet in her room in broad daylight. It had been that factor alone that stopped him from taking action against them. Morgana was too clever to risk meeting Merlin during daytime if they had something to hide.<br/><br/>But what if they weren’t the ones who had something to hide?<br/><br/>If Arthur and Gwen were lovers then it stood to reason that Merlin and Morgana knew. So what if the meetings between Merlin and Morgana had just been a way for the two of them to ‘disappear’ from sight whenever Arthur was meeting Gwen? Then, if he (The King) were to ask where they all were, they would swear blind they were with their masters and servants, and there would be no eyewitnesses to say otherwise?<br/><br/>There was no doubt it was clever, so much so that even if half of his theory was true then it was obvious that the relationship between his son and the handmaiden was serious.<br/><br/>He shook his head. “It is borderline scandalous. Gaius would have no reason to lie about this sort of thing, and if the maid was not tending to Morgana’s nightmares, then whom was she ‘tending’ to?”<br/><br/>He waved his hand to send the servant away. Once he was alone Uther decided that he would have to speak to his son about the issue. He had already decided that it would cause a scandal if it were to get out so he had to think fast. When something like this was unearthed it didn’t take long before the whole castle was talking about it.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morgana waited for Merlin.<br/><br/>After what had happened yesterday she knew he was probably avoiding the route past her chambers. In times like these <em>luring</em> Merlin to her was the best method. She knew Gaius would be wondering what was wrong too and she was too embarrassed to risk him guessing by going to their house and talking to Merlin there.<br/><br/>That was why she had sent Gwen for a ‘prescription’.<br/><br/>It had more or less been an uneventful morning. Gwen had turned up early as usual but seemed to be distracted. Morgana had asked what was wrong but Gwen simply rubbed it off.<br/><br/>“It’s nothing, milady. I’m just a bit out of it today.”<br/><br/>At the same time Gwen had picked up on Morgana’s odd mood. The truth was that she was embarrassed. Gwen had caught her sitting in front of her mirror running her fingers over her lips dazedly.<br/><br/>“I’m just feeling a bit down today,” she had said, “for no reason whatsoever.”<br/><br/>She had to face him one day; to tell Merlin about the dream but also to face up to the kiss. She decided there and then to focus on the dream, to take Merlin’s mind off what happened, and <em>then</em> explain when he is relaxed and calm.<br/><br/>She made this decision just as she felt his presence coming up the stairs to her room, closer to her.<br/><br/>It was at that moment she knew her plan wasn’t going to work.<br/><br/>As per usual she opened the door to see him in. She found him hesitating outside the door. He glanced down at that guard that strolled past the staircase. He turned to face her, a startled expression on his face.<br/><br/>Their eyes met briefly before they hastily looked away again. The sight of each other brought back the feelings and power that had boiled between them just yesterday. Merlin felt his cheekbones tint red and even Morgana’s cheeks flushed at the memory.<br/><br/>Morgana glanced at him again; he had a beautiful face. She knew his abilities deserved admiration but his face made him seem less threatening. That frightening and sublime power wrapped up inside a nineteen-year-old boy. Maybe when he was older…<br/><br/>She stepped aside so he could enter her room and he walked in quickly, clutching something in his hand as he leant against the table in her room. Once she closed the door she realised that he was carrying willow bark.<br/><br/>“Merlin…” she began.<br/><br/>He held out the bark, “Gaius said to bring this to you.”<br/><br/>Morgana snatched it from him and threw it over her shoulder. “That was just an excuse. I knew you’d try and avoid my room for the rest of today.”<br/><br/>Merlin pouted childishly. “I wasn’t.”<br/><br/>“You were,” she retorted. “I know you were!”<br/><br/>He wished he didn’t feel so exposed. It wasn’t until yesterday it had dawned on him how close he had let her come, how close she had let him come and how ‘alike’ they were. The more time they spent together the more exclusive their secret became. It was as if their isolation was driving them together.<br/><br/>“Not that I can blame you,” Morgana finally said. “I practically swallowed your tongue yesterday.”<br/><br/>A small smile crept up on Merlin’s face. “I didn’t exactly resist.”<br/><br/>She managed to smile too, “I don’t know why I did it.”<br/><br/>He gave her smile that was braver than happy. “It probably just felt like a good idea at the time. We all do things we can’t explain after the moment is over, right?”<br/><br/>Morgana nodded, dabbing her flushed cheeks with the cool back of her hand. “Either way I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. I don’t know what came over me.”<br/><br/>Merlin looked away and his smile faded, “It’s over now. It was a spur of the moment decision, and you regret it. That’s fine. I don’t mind. It meant nothing.”<br/><br/>“Oh,” was all she managed.<br/><br/>She could not help showing her disappointment; it was like he was completely writing her off.<br/><br/>Merlin stood up straight. He felt that nagging feeling in his chest but decided to ignore it. It made his nose, his cheeks and his ears burn. He was tempted to ask Gaius if there was something wrong with him.<br/><br/>Morgana folded her arms awkwardly, “Well, that’s fine. Good. I’m glad you understand and don’t hold it against me.”<br/><br/>“Of course I don’t,” he replied. “It was just one kiss, after all. It means nothing.”<br/><br/>Morgana nodded weakly, now feeling half-hearted herself. “Yes, as you say, it means nothing.”<br/><br/>“Yes, nothing.”<br/><br/>“Absolutely <em>nothing</em>.”<br/><br/>“So we’ll just forget about it?”<br/><br/>“Yes, forget about it.”<br/><br/>“Put it completely out of our minds.”<br/><br/>“Fine”<br/><br/>They almost shook hands on their decision but quickly remembered the almighty power that flowed between and thought better of it. As if to avoid any temptation Merlin folded his arms while she put hers behind her back.<br/><br/>Typically it was Merlin who finally changed the subject:<br/><br/>“So,” he said trying to sound more serious. “I assume you didn’t just call me here to tell me this, am I right? You had another dream.”<br/><br/>She nodded. “It was the same dream. I saw the fire again, I saw Uther, and Arthur and Gwen, the sound of… what I think it sounds like… battle.”<br/><br/>That pulled Merlin’s mind back on track. “Could that be the conflict in Rheged?”<br/><br/>“I don’t know,” Morgana replied. “It would explain why I keep seeing burning villages; at least that’s what I think I see, but that doesn’t explain…”<br/><br/>Merlin tilted his head, “Arthur and Gwen?”<br/><br/>That wasn’t all. Morgana hadn’t told him about seeing him in the dream. Of all the things she saw it was the one thing that didn’t make sense at all, that and the girl.<br/><br/>“I also saw a girl, a blonde girl, standing by a window,” Morgana replied. “I don’t understand what she has to do with anything.”<br/><br/>“Do you recognise her?”<br/><br/>“I think I’ve met her but I can’t think where…”<br/><br/>Morgana tried to picture the girl in her mind. She closed her eyes and saw the image in front of her. The image was blurred and distorted by interpretation. She so wanted to see the face clearer so she ended up imagining one. Then the girl looked like no one.<br/><br/>“No, I can’t remember,” she replied, and opened her eyes. “I wish I could show you what I see…”<br/><br/>Merlin looked away and nodded, “I wish I could see too.”<br/><br/>They both sat down on the chest where they had kissed the other day and looked forward towards the window.<br/><br/>“Isn’t there a way you could see inside my head?”<br/><br/>He sat there for a moment, considering his answer. He wasn’t sure he wanted to go inside anyone’s head, let along Morgana’s. He was terrified that if he did he’d uncover secrets she wanted to keep hidden.<br/><br/>“No,” he finally said.<br/><br/>“But you’ve read my mind before.”<br/><br/>“Never intentionally,” he replied quickly but truthfully. He considered the best way to explain it as she looked at him with tranquil green eyes. “It’s complicated. I never intentionally see into people’s minds. It just happens without warning, and it usually happens when they…”<br/><br/>“Are having dirty thoughts?” Morgana said distractedly.<br/><br/>Merlin blushed. “I was going to say it usually happens when they’re thinking about me.”<br/><br/>She felt her own cheeks burning up. “So… it’s not just my mind you go into?”<br/><br/>“When I was little I would sometimes meet people and they would talk to me in my head, but that’s not the same thing, is it?”<br/><br/>“Maybe we are more alike than we think.”<br/><br/>“Maybe,” he replied.<br/><br/>He thought about what the dragon used to say about him and Arthur; that they were two sides of the same coin. That said they were similar but the truth was they couldn’t be more different.<br/><br/>Then again, wasn’t that the point? The sides of a coin are opposite each other.<br/><br/>“We <em>are</em> more alike,” he finally finished. “It’s funny but I never really thought about it before now.”<br/><br/>She was surprised, “Really?”<br/><br/>“I thought about how we both have the gift but never about other similarities. I spend most of my time thinking about whether I’ll have a day off from saving Arthur from a horrible disaster…” he sighed, smiling sadly.<br/><br/>Morgana looked over at the mirror that caught both them in its image she saw a true likeness for the first time; both so pale, both so dark, both so alone in their secret…<br/><br/>A reflection. They were two yokes sharing the same egg, two cherries sharing the same stem, two pieces of the same jigsaw that slotted together to finish the picture. They were individual but ultimately the same.<br/><br/>“Listen,” Merlin said returning to the point. “I have to go and see Gwen but I will be back tonight to help you with this dream, I promise.”<br/><br/>“Okay.”<br/><br/>“In the mean time,” he said, “should you ‘nod-off’ during the day and have a dream, write it down.”<br/><br/>She nodded. “I will.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>It was yet another meeting of the Privy Council.<br/><br/>“—And so, my lords,” concluded Sir Ector, “we must thank the ambassador of Orkney for being with us today and keeping us so well informed of the business in Rheged.”<br/><br/>Ector sat down as he finally finished what had been a rather boring introduction to the Privy Council. Even Uther, who had asked him to introduce the ambassador, was starting to feel bored. Many people were of the opinion that Ector had to be the only person who loved talking more than Uther did.<br/><br/>The king turned to the councillors.<br/><br/>“Gentlemen,” he began. “I have called this meeting to discuss the threat posed to us by Prince Claudius of Gore. As many of you are aware he is refusing to leave Rheged and is attempting to make allies of neighbouring countries.”<br/><br/>He looked at Áedh, who nodded, before the king gestured his hand towards two servants who brought over a large map depicting the isles of Albion. The councillors leant over the map to get a good look at what the king and the Orcadian ambassador were demonstrating to them.<br/><br/>The only one who showed little interest was Arthur; he was lost in his own thoughts.<br/><br/>“Claudius and his armies are here,” Áedh pointed to the east of Rheged. “His armies have a strong hold there as it is closest to Gore. It is also close to Ebrauc who are long-term allies for Claudius and his family. They frequently send supplies to Claudius’s army.”<br/><br/>Ector pointed to the small border that Ebrauc shared with Lothian. “Is this border secure?”<br/><br/>“Yes,” Áedh said with the first smile of that morning. “I assure you that border is secured, thanks to Prince Gawain. He has doubled the presence of the guard there.”<br/><br/>Arthur smiled also; he imagined Gawain – his junior by nearly eighteen months – fighting to defend the borders of Lothian.<br/><br/>“Where are Lot and his army currently?” Uther asked.<br/><br/>“He is trying to negotiate safe conduct through Strathclyde in order that he may re-enter Rheged, sire,” Áedh replied. “His brother King Urien is currently at King Pellinore’s court, helping him get an army together with what little resources he could take with him.”<br/><br/>Another councillor shook his head. “Who would have through a boy of nineteen years could cause such pandemonium?”<br/><br/>“That’s almost all of Hen Ogledd in conflict,” the king said through his teeth.<br/><br/>Arthur’s head was swimming with thoughts as they all spoke. They were completely focused on the situation Albion was in, but he mourned not for the loss of Rheged to his uncle-by-marriage’s-idiot-brother but for the fact that out of the chaos called by Urien and Claudius, he was now being focused to marry Elaine.<br/><br/>He glanced over at the map; the other councillors were putting little marks on countries. The red was for their allies, the blues for Claudius’s allies and green for neutral. He managed to smile – it would be interesting to see how on earth Elaine was ever supposed to make it to Camelot.<br/><br/>“What do we predict Claudius’s next move will be?” Ector asked.<br/><br/>“Lot has written to me saying that he predicts Claudius will apply for allies and possibly make a play for more land,” Uther told him.<br/><br/>“Does any one think he’ll try and gain control of Elmet?” Arthur suddenly said, deciding to join in. The councillors had almost forgotten he was there; his behaviour had not gone unnoticed. “Because if he <em>does</em> then I think we should worry.”<br/><br/>They all looked at the map; south of Elmet lay Mercia.<br/><br/>Uther brought his hand to his head and rubbed his forehead. “God, help us. Bayard will ally with Claudius at the drop of a hat for an opportunity to revenge himself on us.”<br/><br/>“And if he were to be allowed safe passage through Mercia they would sweep through the minor kingdoms like a carpet,” hissed one of the generals. “There would be nothing between him and Camelot.”<br/><br/>Arthur realised he should have put his words better; his bitterness at the entire situation had now caused panic, “Surely it would never come to that; there are several countries that are allied with Elmet.”<br/><br/>“That is how wars begin,” Uther said quietly. “Two countries disagree and their allies get involved because they have disagreements they wish to settle. That is how the bloodiest wars begin.”<br/><br/>Arthur remained silent, as did the entire room. They all knew what Uther said was true. It was one of the few things he had ever said that was true. None of them wanted a war, and affiliation with the Orkney clan was dragging them further in.<br/><br/>That was the catch that Arthur couldn’t get his head around; surely the prospective marriage between him and Elaine would provoke fears within the south rather than draw attention away.<br/><br/>It was at that point that Uther decided to bring the meeting to an end. As he dismissed the councillors he asked them all to return later that day in order to discuss a more ‘joyful subject’. Arthur knew what that was. He almost shouted with protest at his father who seemed to be planning the wedding before the terms of marriage were even drawn up.<br/><br/>He had been hoping for something to happen that would cause Uther to put back the marriage or reconsider it all together, but it was unlikely now if he was telling the councillors.<br/><br/>Arthur assumed that along with Elaine they would be getting a nice proportion of Lot’s army to guard Camelot from the threat of their ‘enemies’ and no doubt inspire terror in the magic folk.<br/><br/>The fact was that there were no real enemies in the neighbouring kingdoms around Camelot. To the north there was water, to the south there was water, to the east there were the minor kingdoms still recovering from the overspill of Uther’s purges on magic twenty years ago, and to the west there was Cador’s Cornwall.<br/><br/>He looked at the map again and a thought suddenly occurred to him.<br/><br/>“Have you considered asking Cador for help?” Arthur asked. Uther looked at him as if he had just grown another head. “He has a sizable army and the only thing that separates us is the river.”<br/><br/>Uther scoffed, “What has Cador ever done for Camelot? Nothing. For the last twelve years he has more or less snubbed us.”<br/><br/>“True,” Arthur replied. “But you haven’t exactly put in the effort to reconcile with him, have you?”<br/><br/>The king’s eyes were ablaze, “I did nothing wrong.”<br/><br/>“I know, father,” the prince responded. “I’m not saying you did anything wrong, but he did an awful lot for Camelot twelve years ago before Gorlois died. He also continues to provide Morgana with a sizable allowance even now she’s twenty-one.”<br/><br/>“I will not go to Cador,” Uther snapped. “I’d rather die than beg my dead friend’s younger brother for help.”<br/><br/>Arthur rolled his eyes. “Well, if you’re waiting for Cador to come and ask <em>you</em> for help, you might as well be waiting for the second coming.”<br/><br/>“Don’t you dare get sarcastic with me,” Uther grinded out with a sense of doom. “I don’t need Cador’s help and never will.”<br/><br/>Arthur stared at his father before rolling his eyes again and backing away towards the door. He had just about reached the end of his tether. Arthur realised that between arranging marriages and provoking wars his father didn’t seem to give much way to ‘new ideas’ such as admitting sometimes people need help, even kings.<br/><br/>“You know what?” he finally said. “Forget it, father. I only thought I’d mention it given that he is Morgana’s uncle and is a powerful duke with enough clout to help us should Claudius come knocking on our door.”<br/><br/>“What is <em>wrong</em> with you?” the king asked, irritated. “You’re acting in a very peculiar manner.”<br/><br/>The prince folded his arms, “Given that I was told I’m engaged after everyone else knew and that now it looks as if Albion is going to have a great war, you’ll forgive me for feeling <em>very peculiar</em>.”<br/><br/>And with that Arthur dismissed himself.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Gwen had collected Fach from Gaius at lunchtime as promised. It seemed the old man had missed the dog despite having complained to Merlin about them chewing up his books. Nonetheless he was glad that Fach had another home to go to, certain that if the puppy were to remain it would only be a matter of time before she began to irritate him again.<br/><br/>The puppy followed her mistress home through the busy market streets. As every afternoon that week had been it was scorching hot. There was the recognisable line at the wells and fountains for water, the familiar sparking of water being spilt over the brims of buckets and the common shine on the stall keepers’ foreheads.<br/><br/>Gwen enjoyed it all although it was annoying weather. She loved how busy and active Camelot always was. It certainly took her mind off her own problems. As she walked among the people she could forget for one moment that her heart was slowly breaking.<br/><br/>As soon as Gwen opened the door to the front house Fach rushed in to her bowl, knowing it would be soon filled with water. Gwen saw to her little companion before she set about preparing lunch for them both. She cut up some chicken that was left over from yesterday’s round of sandwiches and gave that to Fach while she sat down to some simple bread and cheese. Her mind was not really focused on hunger.<br/><br/>Once she had finished her small portion lunch she sat at the table watching Fach lick her paws delightedly.<br/><br/>“At least you’re happy,” Gwen commented. She liked having a dog; it made talking to herself seem less insane. “It must be nice to be a dog. I mean, you don’t have to worry about things like money, food and love. As long as you’re fed, you’re happy.”<br/><br/>The dog blinked at her before it began to lick its paws again. Gwen chuckled. Just then there was a knock at the door.<br/><br/>Gwen went to the door straightaway. She was expecting Merlin that lunchtime, and talking to him would achieve more intelligent conversation than talking to Fach. Though only just, as Arthur once joked to her.<br/><br/>However as she opened the door Gwen saw it was, in fact, a smartly dressed man. It was not someone she recognised. The pompousness of his appearance from his hair to the expression on his face suggested he was a low ranking administrator from the palace rather than a servant.<br/><br/>He addressed her directly. “Guinevere?”<br/><br/>“Yes,” she replied politely.<br/><br/>“The Lady Morgana’s maid?” he said, double-checking.<br/><br/>Gwen’s face became more serious. “Yes…”<br/><br/>“May I come in?”<br/><br/>She stepped aside without thinking and let him into the house. Fach began barking angrily as soon as she saw the man. He backed away, trying to hide his nerve.<br/><br/>“She doesn’t like strangers,” Gwen explained as she pulled out a chair. “Would you like to sit down, sir?”<br/><br/>“Thank you, I’ll stand” he replied. “You may sit down if you wish.”<br/><br/>Gwen obeyed as if it were his house rather than hers. Fach continued to growl at the man. He watched the puppy out of the corner of his eyes as he spoke to Gwen in a frank tone.<br/><br/>“As you may already be aware,” the man began, “our prince is soon to be formally engaged to The Princess Elaine of Orkney.”<br/><br/>“Yes.”<br/><br/>“As a result of this it is natural that any loose ends in respect to the prince’s past relationships should be settled before the princess arrives,” the man went on.<br/><br/>“I see.”<br/><br/>“I have been asked to come here on behalf of his highness to give you this.”<br/><br/>He took a small purse from his belt and placed it on the table beside Gwen. She stared at it not knowing whether to look inside or not. “What is it?” was all she could say, knowing exactly what it was.<br/><br/>“It is a… settlement,” the man replied. “In return for your discretion and silence.”<br/><br/>“My silence?”<br/><br/>“About your relationship with the prince,” he explained. “It would not be fitting if it were to be discovered by those in Orkney or by the princess herself that the prince had an affair with a servant.”<br/><br/>Gwen felt as if she was sitting there naked; she was exposed before a stranger who seemed so informed about her relationship with Arthur that someone had sent him to her to keep her quiet. She glanced at the bag lying beside her on the table and looked at the man again.<br/><br/>He gestured towards it: “I’m sure you will find it satisfactory.”<br/><br/>“Satisfactory?” Gwen snapped. The scowl she had tried to keep back creased her forehead immediately. She picked up the bag, feeling the heavy and jingling content in her palm. “How could I find <em>this</em> satisfactory?”<br/><br/>“You should count it first,” the man replied simply. “It’s more than it looks.”<br/><br/>Gwen stared at him, fuming with suppressed anger that she was fighting to keep down. The man was so out of touch he thought the money mattered. He just didn’t understand.<br/><br/>“That was <em>not</em> what I meant!” she said firmly.<br/><br/>Her thought over what was happening. Before she realised what was happening the man was making his way to the door. Gwen quickly leapt to her feet. “Tell me, who was it that sent you?”<br/><br/>The man turned and sighed. “I was sent on behalf of the prince to give this settlement to you.”<br/><br/>Gwen stared blankly at him before she looked away. “Are you saying that Arthur told you to come here?”<br/><br/>The man said nothing. That was the moment Gwen felt a painful and bitter jolt shoot through not just her heart and body but her very soul. She felt both anger and sorrow yet she couldn’t allow herself to show it.<br/><br/>“I say it is a generous amount,” he said with relaxed authority, “more than you could properly hope to earn in a year.”<br/><br/>“Yes,” she said, swallowing tears. “Tell his highness I said thank you, but I cannot accept.”<br/><br/>She held out the money to the man but he ignored it and turned to the door to leave. “I would advise you to keep it. A girl of your age living alone needs good money, especially in your situation.”<br/><br/>“Please, just take it back!” she said, her nerves starting to bubble up.<br/><br/>There was a knock at the door. Gwen automatically opened it and there stood Merlin. In view of the situation she had completely forgotten about him. The irony of the situation was that she had wanted to talk to him about this whole situation as he was impartial, but now he had stumbled right into the middle of it. Gwen didn’t think about that; all she could think about was the money.<br/><br/>“Are you alright?” Merlin asked, noticing her face. He looked between Gwen and the man, “Am I interrupting something?”<br/><br/>The man looked at him and smiled, “No, in fact I was just leaving.”<br/><br/>He nodded at both of them and left through the door, leaving Gwen still holding the money. She followed him out and Merlin followed her, realising something was wrong.<br/><br/>“Please just do as I ask,” she told the man.<br/><br/>He turned to face her again, “I was asked to give this to you on behalf—”<br/><br/>Gwen finally lost her temper.<br/><br/>“Can’t you understand?” she cried, shoving the money at the man’s chest. “I don’t want this!”<br/><br/>As she let the purse go it fell to the ground, spilling out at their feet; it was filled with silver coins.<br/><br/>The people in the street watched the scene curiously, not doubt reading wild interpretations into it all. It couldn’t have been wilder than the truth.<br/><br/>The man looked at the contents spilt over the ground before nodding to Gwen and leaving. She watched helplessly as he disappeared into the working crowd and at that moment she wished the world would just swallow her.<br/><br/>Merlin was the one to pick up the money in the end. As soon as it was back in the pouch her turned to Gwen curiously, looking for an explanation for this bizarre event. “What’s going on?” he asked, handing the money to her. “What is this?”<br/><br/>“It’s from Arthur, apparently,” Gwen replied. She still refused to take the money and lead Merlin back inside. “I’m surprised he didn’t send you with it.”<br/><br/>“With that?” Merlin said, still oblivious. “What is it?”<br/><br/>“Come with me and I’ll tell you everything.”<br/><br/>She no longer cared who knew what. If this was really the way Arthur wanted to end their relationship then she didn’t care about the humiliation she knew would come. Yet she did feel foolish.<br/><br/>Either way she would rather Merlin heard the story from her rather than someone else, even Arthur.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arthur was startled as his bedroom door swung open. He had been minding his own business, fuming about his father’s actions, before his ‘jolly’ servant interrupted his train of thought. Merlin burst into the room like a gust of cold air.<br/><br/>The worst thing was that Arthur, in his own mind, had felt like he was reaching a suitable conclusion to his thoughts. Unfortunately Merlin had ripped him out of it and he forgot about everything.<br/><br/>The young manservant looked at Arthur with complete distain, such that the prince had never witnessed before from anyone, let alone Merlin. Even in their moments of antagonism they never exchanged a glare beyond one of irritation or frustration.<br/><br/>The look on Merlin’s face let Arthur know he had done something very wrong; his jaw was clenched tight, his eyes were dark and his face was filled with thunder. It was a remarkable sight that had a strange aura to it that Arthur couldn’t work out.<br/><br/>“Merlin, what are you—” Arthur began.<br/><br/>At that moment Merlin took something from his pocket and threw it at Arthur’s feet; it was the bag of silver pieces.<br/><br/>Arthur stared blankly at it and chuckled. “I don’t know what you’ve been told but I prefer to be paid in gold.”<br/><br/>“You think this is funny?” Merlin snapped.<br/><br/>The tone in which he addressed Arthur bewildered him further. He laughed nervously, “I don’t know what I should think—”<br/><br/>“Your ‘friend’ came by,” Merlin interrupted.<br/><br/>Arthur shrugged, “Which friend is this?”<br/><br/>“That royal secretary,” Merlin said barked, and pointed at the money. “He gave that to Gwen, telling her that he was sent <em>on your behalf</em>.”<br/><br/>Arthur stared at Merlin before leaning down to pick up the silver. “He gave this to Gwen?”<br/><br/>“He called it a ‘settlement’,” Merlin went on, “In return for her ‘discretion and silence’ about her relationship with you.”<br/><br/>Arthur swallowed, “I see.”<br/><br/>Merlin bit his lip in frustration before throwing his arms up in the air in annoyance and continuing with his rant.<br/><br/>“I could barely believe it when she told me what had happened,” he told him. “It’s bad enough that you didn’t have courage to face herself but that when you chose to hide behind the palace officials you don’t even tell me what’s going on.”<br/><br/>“Merlin, I—”<br/><br/>“Spare me the excuses,” Merlin shouted over him.<br/><br/>Arthur shot him a glare; he was speaking to him as if he were a servant rather than vice versa. He could a have punched him at that moment. “I’m not trying to give you excuses, Merlin; I’m trying to tell you…”<br/><br/>He was about to try and finish his sentence when Merlin spoke again, this time calmer and softer but still filled with disgust. “How did you think she would react to this money?”<br/><br/>“I didn’t think anything!” Arthur snarled. “Some people find money a great comfort—but I don’t know what…”<br/><br/>“Yeah, <em>some people</em>.”<br/><br/>“What’s that supposed to mean?”<br/><br/>“Do you know what Gwen told me the worst thing was?” Merlin asked, changing the subject.<br/><br/>Arthur sank into a chair and rubbed his eyes. “Enlighten me.”<br/><br/>“He told her to count it,” Merlin replied. “As if it mattered, as if she was a…”<br/><br/>“I get it, Merlin!” Arthur finally snapped. “If you would let me explain—”<br/><br/>“Save it,” Merlin said. “I’ve said all I came to say. Gwen felt so embarrassed that she couldn’t find a way to return the ‘bribe’ so I said I would do it. I’ve done what I said I’d do.”<br/><br/>Merlin turned to leave when he stopped and shook his head. Arthur stared at the back of his head, wondering what he was thinking. He took this chance to try and get his piece out.<br/><br/>“I can understand why you’re upset,” he said. “But I don’t know anything about—”<br/><br/>Merlin turned around, “The worst thing for me is that I could have stopped this from happening.”<br/><br/>“Sorry?”<br/><br/>“With the letters,” he explained. “I should have warned her off as soon as she told me about it. I should have known something like this would happen, especially after she told me about—”<br/><br/>He had nearly mentioned the original mistake with the letters but even in his anger he saw no reason to mention it. He thought of how upset Gwen would be to know that he had yelled at Arthur, let alone revealed the truth about the letters.<br/><br/>Arthur stared at him, “About what?”<br/><br/>Merlin swallowed, “No, it’s not my place to say.”<br/><br/>He turned around to leave again but this time Arthur interrupted. “Not your place to say what? I don’t have a clue what you’re going on about!”<br/><br/>“It’s probably better that you don’t,” the young servant said honestly.<br/><br/>There was a long pause.<br/><br/>“There’s just one more thing before I go,” Merlin went on, his voice quiet. “I think you should stay away from Gwen. If she were to see you now it would just hurt her even more.”<br/><br/>Merlin’s words cut Arthur in a way he never expected to. For so long he had been the one who cut through people with his words, but now he was being given advice from his own manservant.<br/><br/>“I mean what can you expect?” Merlin said rhetorically. “She still loves you.”<br/><br/>“And I feel the same,” Arthur said, his voice also quiet. “She knows I feel the same.”<br/><br/>Merlin sighed, “Probably.”<br/><br/>He felt the lump lodged in his throat make his voice crack. On the one hand he was angry with Arthur for what he had apparently done but on the other he couldn’t help think of Gwen, feeling sorry for her.<br/><br/>Merlin felt he had been wrong to encourage the relationship between his two friends to develop in the way it. He felt responsible. If it hadn’t been for him it might not have happened in the first place.<br/><br/>Merlin slammed the door behind him as he left as if he thought Arthur might forget he was still angry.<br/><br/>Arthur sat in silence as he tried to churn what Merlin had told him.<br/><br/>He held the money in his hand and roped one through his fingers. It was clear and shiny, very clean considering the dirty task it had been set to do. As he felt the metallic surface of the coin he imagined how Gwen must have felt when that palace secretary gave her the money and told her it was from him. He imagined humiliation, embarrassment and plain sorrow.<br/><br/>He put all the coins back into the bag they had come in and set off towards the throne room. He knew his father would be speaking with the nobility.<br/><br/>The moment he entered the room Arthur found he was surround by men holding cups of wine and toasting each other cheerfully. He even saw his old ‘gang’ of Percival, Lamorak and Kay having a good drink-up.<br/><br/>Kay noticed Arthur come in and immediately raise his goblet. “Here he is, the man of the moment!”<br/><br/>The older nobles turned, smiled and clapped in that embarrassingly patronising way older people seemed to. Arthur felt increasingly awkward as he finally singled out his father and made his way towards him. Uther saw from the look on Arthur’s face he had something to say, but he didn’t want to hear what his son had to say.<br/><br/>“Father,” Arthur began.<br/><br/>“Prince Arthur!” said Ector, whom Uther had been speaking to. “May I personally offer by congratulations on you upcoming engagement to Princess Elaine? It is truly wonderful news.”<br/><br/>Arthur shot his father a look, “You’ve already told them?”<br/><br/>Uther looked at Arthur with a faint smile and said nothing. He looked to Ector as he carried on talking, “I have to say that seeing our crowned prince getting married reminds me of how old I am.”<br/><br/>“Where did all the time go?” Uther stated, keeping his mild smile.<br/><br/>“Indeed,” Ector agreed. “I surprised myself the other day when I told Kay that he ought to marry soon.” He turned side-ways to look at his son, “You really ought to you know.”<br/><br/>Kay looked up from a conversation with Percival. “I really ought to what, father?”<br/><br/>“Get married soon,” Ector replied. “You are of age.”<br/><br/>“I know that, father,” Kay said defensively. “It’s just not as easy as that to get married.”<br/><br/>“No ladies at the court who have caught your eye, eh?” Ector questioned. Kay looked away as Lamorak sniggered boyishly. Ector turned back to Uther, “Typical of boys today—they just don’t want to get married.”<br/><br/>“No, they don’t,” Uther said, and glanced at Arthur. “Not like us with a sense of duty to our families.”<br/><br/>“And they expect all the trimmings especially when it comes to love,” Ector added. “I mean you can’t expect to love them from the start, can you?”<br/><br/>“Indeed,” Uther agreed. “You have to work for it.”<br/><br/>Arthur saw Kay’s cheerful face slowly melt into one of discomfort. He found it difficult to pity him. All that went through Arthur’s mind at that moment were the words ‘Welcome to my world.’ Nonetheless he decided to speak out against the older generation in support of theirs.<br/><br/>“These days,” Arthur said firmly, “we tend to work for love <em>before</em> we put the ring on our fingers.”<br/><br/>Ector laughed, “Very risky business is courting. The transaction is usually done at the end of a jagged sword.”<br/><br/>Uther nodded, “Courting and romancing belongs in poetry.”<br/><br/>“I’ll drink to that,” Ector said, raising his goblet.<br/><br/>Arthur rolled his eyes and turned to his father. “I need to speak with you,” he said.<br/><br/>Uther finally agreed to speak to him privately and led him to the back of the room.<br/><br/>Arthur wasted no time in getting out his words, “Is it wise to tell the nobility of the match at this early stage?”<br/><br/>“It is hardly an early stage,” Uther replied. “Besides they are all members of the Privy Council so I had to tell them. It’s not the whole of the nobility.”<br/><br/>“No disrespect to Sir Ector,” Arthur said. “But as soon as he goes home and tells Lady Ector the whole palace will know about this match with Elaine.”<br/><br/>“Given the circumstances,” the king explained. “We will likely have to speed up the process of negotiations. I had to tell the Privy Council sooner or later, and I decided sooner.”<br/><br/>Arthur swallowed. “You seem to have thought of everything, father.”<br/><br/>“A king must think of everything,” Uther replied. “One day you will have to do the same.”<br/><br/>“I suppose,” the prince replied. He clutched the money in his hands. “Father… about that money…”<br/><br/>“Oh!” the king said, knowing immediately what Arthur meant. “Yes, I thought it best if I took care of it. I know how awkward these things can be for people your age.”<br/><br/>Arthur nodded slowly, “You sent the money to her on my behalf?”<br/><br/>“I felt it would be for the best,” the king replied. “Discretion aside, I know what you’re like when you try to drop a girl. I felt the embitterment was something you could avoid. We couldn’t risk a scandal, Arthur. I hope you understand.”<br/><br/>“I do just about understand,” he replied quietly. “But I don’t think she did.”<br/><br/>Arthur then handed the money back to his father. Their eyes met briefly as it was handed over. Uther tried to read his son’s expression but it was utterly unreadable.<br/><br/>Arthur could tell this returning of the money had gone completely over his father’s head and that there was nothing more to say. He bowed politely and made to withdraw from the room.<br/><br/>However as he made his way to the door Lamorak caught his arm.<br/><br/>“There he is,” Lamorak said, dragging him over to their circle of friends. “God, you look a misery, Arthur. Getting cold feet already?”<br/><br/>“Something like that,” Arthur muttered with his eyes on the door.<br/><br/>“I never thought I’d live to see Arthur Pendragon marry,” Kay admitted. “I thought the Earth would split before he’d settle down.”<br/><br/>“Don’t forget this is an <em>arranged</em> marriage,” Lamorak pointed out. “The only reason he’s going up the aisle is because he’s got his father forcing him up.”<br/><br/>Arthur said nothing. He had always thought Lamorak a vulgar idiot, (despite the fact that before he began to spend more time with Merlin and Gwen he had been quite similar), but he was right about that.<br/><br/>Percival noticed Arthur’s discomfort. “I think you’ve made your point, Lamorak.”<br/><br/>Lamorak rolled his eyes, “There he goes, my older brother, teaching me how to be a goodie-goodie.”<br/><br/>“I think we should offer our congratulations,” Percival said, ignoring his brother and raising his glass.<br/><br/>The three gentlemen raised their goblets to their prince before all taking a sip.<br/><br/>Arthur felt as if he was in the middle of a bad dream. He felt alienated among his own friends. They all seemed like different people to him. Lamorak seemed twice as vulgar; Percival seemed more tolerable in his morality and Kay was just more Kay than usual.<br/><br/>Then it dawned on him that he was the one who had changed.<br/><br/>He realised he had been spending more time with Gwen or Merlin or even Morgana than he had with them. He had once been desensitised to their boyish quirks, particularly Lamorak’s; now he couldn’t remember why he was ever his friend.<br/><br/>Arthur listened to Lamorak’s description of a man that picked on weaker people, put down those that challenged him and would rather eat his own heart than be tied down or share his affections with one woman. In that moment he realised that he was no longer that man.<br/><br/>“We need to all have a drink to celebrate the end of an era,” Lamorak stated.<br/><br/>“We’re drinking right now,” Percival said.<br/><br/>“I meant a proper drink,” Lamorak replied, and turned to Arthur and Kay. “Don’t you think?”<br/><br/>Kay nodded. “Sure,” said Arthur uncertainly.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Merlin sat at home, bored, as the evening drew in over Camelot. In his anger he had yelled at Arthur and thus argued himself out of a days work. On reflection Merlin wouldn’t be surprised if Arthur decided to sack him after the way he had ranted and raved at him.<br/><br/>He actually missed not doing work; it kept him occupied and gave him a chance to cut corners by using magic. It helped him work out which spells were simple enough to demonstrate to Morgana.<br/><br/>Merlin looked up as the front door opened. Gwen walked in with Fach bounding in ahead of her. The little dog rushed towards Merlin eagerly and sat on his feet. He smiled and knelt down to stroke her head.<br/><br/>He then looked at Gwen; for a girl who had had her heart broken she looked surprisingly calm. She sat down next to him and said nothing.<br/><br/>“Are you alright?” he asked, unable to think of anything better to say.<br/><br/>She sighed, “No.”<br/><br/>“At least you’re honest,” he said.<br/><br/>“I don’t think I’ll ever be alright again,” she confessed.<br/><br/>Fach moved from Merlin’s feet and climbed up onto her mistress’s lap. Gwen held her pet affectionately in her arms. There was a long silence.<br/><br/>“I gave the money back,” Merlin finally said.<br/><br/>“Thank you,” she replied. “Did he say anything?”<br/><br/>“Not a lot,” he confessed. “I… got a little angry at him.”<br/><br/>Gwen tilted her head, “How angry?”<br/><br/>“I yelled at him.”<br/><br/>“Oh Merlin!” she groaned. “You shouldn’t have done that, not on my account.”<br/><br/>“I know,” Merlin said. “I know. It was just like a grey fog hung over my eyes and I just felt so angry for you I just let him have it.”<br/><br/>“I didn’t want to upset him either,” Gwen said honestly. “You may think me a fool for it but I still love him. I think I always will love him. I can’t help it.”<br/><br/>“I don’t think you’re a fool,” Merlin said quietly. “We can’t choose who we love, can we?”<br/><br/>Gwen said nothing. She stared into space, deep within her thoughts. The agony of what had happened was still raw and the rip in her heart was still gapping with pain. There seemed to be no end to it.<br/><br/>“I still can’t believe it was him,” she said suddenly.<br/><br/>“What?”<br/><br/>“The money,” Gwen explained. “I still don’t believe he sent it. I keep thinking ‘Arthur wouldn’t do that. It’s not his style.’ Even before when I thought he was a just a jumped-up idiotic bully it wasn’t his style.”<br/><br/>“Maybe you’re right—but who else could have known about you?”<br/><br/>Gwen shrugged. “Uther?”<br/><br/>“Maybe you’re right,” Merlin agreed. The truth was that he didn’t know what to think any more. “Arthur did say that… he felt the same when I told him you still loved him.”<br/><br/>Gwen still felt overwhelmed with the emotion that consumed her even when it was causing her pain. She never wanted to stop loving him, knowing she would miss the feeling more than to live without it and feel no pain at all.<br/><br/>If she had to live without Arthur then she would have to bury the feelings she had and find a man who would take her. Maybe within time she would grow to love them but she knew no man would ever be able to make her feel the same overwhelming affection.<br/><br/>She also knew no man would ever be able to ignite the same passion in her; they could try but they would never manage it. Arthur had a hold on her and she had a hold on him, and no one would be able to sever it.<br/><br/>Gwen smiled. “It doesn’t matter who sent the money. The victory is mine.”<br/><br/>At that moment Gaius came through the door. The silence between Merlin and Gwen fell once more and the old man looked between them.<br/><br/>“Gwen, good evening,” he said.<br/><br/>“Good evening,” she replied. “I was just leaving, actually. I just needed to talk to Merlin about something.”<br/><br/>She got to her feet and placed Fach on the floor. The dog stood by her mistress’s feet and loyally followed her towards the door.<br/><br/>Gaius felt a pang of sympathy for Gwen. “Are you alright?”<br/><br/>She stood in her tracks and turned as she forced a brave smile. “I’ll be fine as long as people don’t ask me if I’m alright.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>The next day Merlin went to see Morgana.<br/><br/>“I thought Gwen looked a little down yesterday evening,” she said after he told her what had happened. “I asked what was wrong but she wouldn’t tell me—I just assumed they’d had a fight or something. I had no idea…”<br/><br/>“Neither did I,” Merlin agreed.<br/><br/>They had decided to go outside and enjoy the last glimpses of summer before the autumn set in for September. The other people had the same idea, so they found a place at the side of the castle and sat down on the wall.<br/><br/>“I couldn’t believe it when she told me,” he went on. “I mean it was the last thing I expected him to do. I was so angry…”<br/><br/>Morgana nodded, “And you spoke to him?”<br/><br/>“I yelled at him.”<br/><br/>“Oh, Merlin...”<br/><br/>“I know,” he said guiltily. “I know I shouldn’t have done it but it was as if I was blinded by anger. It was as if I felt some way responsible…”<br/><br/>“How so?”<br/><br/>“The letters.”<br/><br/>“Oh!” Morgana had more or less forgotten about the letters. “That wasn’t your fault. Besides, who’s to say the letters made a difference in the long run?”<br/><br/>“How’d you mean?”<br/><br/>“The letters might have been one of many means to an end,” she said. “Maybe… this was always going to happen.”<br/><br/>“Why do you say that?”<br/><br/>Morgana tilted her head, “I’ve been thinking about that dream I had before all of this happened.”<br/><br/>“The fire and blood dream?”<br/><br/>“No,” she said. “I mean the one I told you about before any of this happened, before their affair, before the letters… I saw them together, married in a dream.”<br/><br/>“I remember now… couldn’t that have been just a dream?”<br/><br/>“It’s rather convenient dream, don’t you think?” she said. “I had the dream before the letter things began. Then I started to have the dreams about this conflict and you…”<br/><br/>Merlin looked at her, “You had dreams about me?”<br/><br/>She blushed and looked away. “Yes, sometimes using magic and sometimes doing something… like with the money.”<br/><br/>Merlin looked away from her. “I wish you’d have told me before about that. I might have thought twice before I lost my temper.”<br/><br/>“I’m sorry,” Morgana said. “If I’m honest I was still feeling awkward about—” she fell silent as someone walked passed them. She lowered her voice and smiled awkwardly, “—about that kiss.”<br/><br/>Merlin cleared his throat. “That’s fair enough, I suppose.”<br/><br/>She quickly changed the subject back to the dream, “But nearly always… it’s your eyes that I see.”<br/><br/>He smiled, “What about my eyes? They’re just eyes.”<br/><br/>“You know that’s not true,” she said. “Whenever I see them in my dreams, though, they’re always yellow.”<br/><br/>“Yellow?” Merlin said, confused.<br/><br/>She nodded. “I think it’s invisible to the naked eye, though.”<br/><br/>“Good, otherwise I think that would be a terrible tell if Uther were ever to see it!”<br/><br/>Morgana chuckled, “He can’t see past the end of his nose let alone have eyes quick enough to notice your little tricks with time.”<br/><br/>Merlin shook his head and laughed. “Let’s get back to the point—Arthur and Gwen, your dreams, you think all of this was… pre-destined?”<br/><br/>“I don’t know,” she admitted.<br/><br/>Merlin couldn’t help smiling, “Wouldn’t it be sweet if that were true? That Arthur and Gwen were destined to love each other.”<br/><br/>“Yes, that pay off was very cute.”<br/><br/>Merlin sighed, “There’s something about that too. I’m starting to think there’s more to it. Gwen certainly seems to think there’s more to it; she said that Uther might have had something to do with it.”<br/><br/>“And what do you <em>really</em> think?” she asked.<br/><br/>There was a short pause before he answered, guiltily. “I think she might be right.”<br/><br/>Morgana nodded, “Me too.”<br/><br/>At that moment Morgana slipped off the wall and brushed off the dust on her dress. She then took hold of Merlin’s hand, trying to ignore the immediate surge of energy, and tugged him off the wall.<br/><br/>“Whoa!” he cried as she yanked him off his perch, “Where are we going?”<br/><br/>“To try and find out what the hell is going on around here.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Gaius hated being called inexplicably called into the king’s presence. It was not a recent development; he had always hated being called upon. It usually involved him carrying out work he did not want to or requests he was not certain about. Igraine’s death and Arthur’s birth had been the result of these summonses.<br/><br/>He was always worried he would enter the throne room to find Uther was in the middle of a witchcraft trial now he had Merlin to worry about.<br/><br/>Uther looked up from his papers and greeted him as he entered the room. There was no sign of Merlin, or anyone else, which settled Gaius’s mind slightly.<br/><br/>“Sire,” he said. “I came as soon as I could.”<br/><br/>“I’m glad you did,” the king said. “I have something I wish to ask you.”<br/><br/>“Yes?”<br/><br/>Uther stood from his throne and walked closer to Gaius. “I understand that Merlin is friends with Morgana’s servant girl.”<br/><br/>Gaius nodded, “It is only natural that two people in the same profession become friends.”<br/><br/>“Yes I know that,” the king replied. “I’m not concerned with Merlin.”<br/><br/>That was a relief to hear, Gaius thought.<br/><br/>The king went on: “I’m asking you because I understand you also know the girl.”<br/><br/>Gaius nodded again. “Gwen, yes, I knew her parents before she was born. Her mother would occasionally collect some supplies for me.”<br/><br/>“You understand her character well?”<br/><br/>“I think well enough, sire.”<br/><br/>Uther sat down at the table. “How would you say she values money?”<br/><br/>The old man swallowed. “It depends on what you mean by ‘values’.”<br/><br/>Outside of the throne room by the door Merlin and Morgana listened to the conversation between Uther and Gaius.<br/><br/>“Do you often do this?” Merlin whispered.<br/><br/>“Very rarely do the men in this world want to share current events with women,” she explained. “This is my only way of keeping on top of things.”<br/><br/>Inside the room Uther went on: “As you know the alliance with Lot means that I have had to tie up some of the lose ends with regards to my son’s… activities.”<br/><br/>“I recall you saying so, sire,” Gaius replied.<br/><br/>“One of the ‘lose ends’ is the servant girl,” Uther explained. “I offered her a substantial amount of money, one hundred silver pieces, for her silence, however she returned the money.”<br/><br/>“I see… it is an awful lot of money.”<br/><br/>“Maybe it wasn’t enough,” Uther hypothesised. “It is usually customary to offer only twenty-five at the most to someone of her station in these circumstances but I acknowledged she was a <em>special case</em>.”<br/><br/>“With respect, sire,” Gaius said. “I don’t think she values money in <em>that</em> sense. Her father was a blacksmith and her mother was the daughter of a serf. They were never poor but they certainly were never rich.”<br/><br/>“He certainly married beneath himself,” Uther remarked.<br/><br/>A faint smile appeared across Gaius’s face. “They actually met through me, partly anyway.”<br/><br/>“Oh?”<br/><br/>The old man nodded. “It was about a year before Arthur was born. I just happened to be talking to him with Gorlois and Cador when her mother came along with my supplies; a complete chance encounter. Those two frequently went to Tom for their swords and to shoe their horses, preferring him over the royal blacksmith.”<br/><br/>Uther thought back to the old days and smiled also. “Yes, I vaguely remember that. He used to say it was the best forge in the kingdom.”<br/><br/>“The family were the best in their trade,” Gaius stated. “Before hard times fell they received a modest patronage from several high ranking men. Of course, by the time Gwen was born, that patronage mainly came from young Cador.”<br/><br/>The king scowled as he remembered Cador. The two of them had never seen eye to eye on anything, on fewer issues than Uther had with Gorlois. He had been so promising and rational when he was a boy, but once he turned twenty-one he suddenly changed. Uther firmly believed Cador only did it to irritate those around him.<br/><br/>Outside the room Merlin turned to Morgana. “Who is Cador?” he asked.<br/><br/>“My uncle,” she replied, eyes firmly fixed on Uther and Gaius.<br/><br/>“What happened to him?”<br/><br/>She looked at him. “Nothing, he’s the Duke of Cornwall.”<br/><br/>Inside the room Uther decided to change the subject slightly. “I’m surprised they were allowed to marry.”<br/><br/>“There were some objections with her father’s family,” Gaius agreed. He remembered those days before and after the great purges as if it were yesterday. It made him feel so old. “I remember they married shortly before Arthur was born. I’ve watched Gwen since she was a little girl; she has always been cautious and modest when it came to money.”<br/><br/>“So, you would say she refused the money on principle?”<br/><br/>Gaius cleared his throat. “I think principles were the last thing on her mind, sire.”<br/><br/>The king pondered. “I see, thank you.”<br/><br/>Merlin and Morgana looked at each other and moved away from the door. Once they were safely inside an empty room of the castle they finally spoke of what they had just heard.<br/><br/>“Gwen was right,” Morgana said.<br/><br/>“Oh my God,” Merlin groaned. “I made a <em>huge</em> mistake!”<br/><br/>“It was easy enough to do,” she told him. “Given Arthur’s track record you couldn’t be blamed for doing what you did. You were trying to protect Gwen.”<br/><br/>“But I blamed him for something he didn’t do,” he replied. He took a deep break and shook his head, “I bet the first he’d heard about this pay off was when I started yelling and accusing him of it.”<br/><br/>Morgana watched him brood for a moment. “I still think what you did was wonderful.”<br/><br/>Merlin looked at her, “What did I do?”<br/><br/>“You stood up for Gwen,” she replied. “Even though your anger was misplaced… I think it’s wonderful that you would go that trouble for someone you love.”<br/><br/>He shrugged and looked shyly away. “I didn’t even think about it I just… went in there with fiery words in my mouth and no thought of what I would do.”<br/><br/>“Like when she was accused of witchcraft?”<br/><br/>He smiled, “That was different; that <em>was</em> my fault.”<br/><br/>“You still didn’t have to do it,” she told him. “Not many men these days would offer their lives, even for the woman they loved.”<br/><br/>Merlin looked at her, shocked. “I don’t—I have never—”<br/><br/>She chuckled. “I know, Merlin. I know you don’t feel <em>that way</em> about her. I was just saying that few men would do that even for the woman they loved.”<br/><br/>Merlin blushed. “Sorry.”<br/><br/>He folded his arms and tried to remain focused. He became by conscious of her watching him. His embarrassment showed up clearly on his pale skin. He tried to cool it down with his hands but his palms were warm.<br/><br/>Morgana smiled and tilted her head.<br/><br/>“You know,” she said as she attempted to sound general, “The way you offer up your life so freely for your friends, I wonder how far you would go to protect the woman you loved.”<br/><br/>“I-I don’t know,” he said, scratching the back of his head. “I’ve never been in love.”<br/><br/>Morgana folded her own arms. She was trying to compliment him but it just went over his head. He was clearly raised in a world where he was rarely praised. She felt strangely desperate to coax a reaction out of him but she didn’t know what reaction she wanted.<br/><br/>“Never?” she said, still trying to make it sound like small talk. “Not even a crush?”<br/><br/>Merlin felt his heart thud in his chest. “Err… sure, plenty of those, yeah. Gaius always scolds me for it. Apparently I fall for the wrong girls.”<br/><br/>Morgana turned to face him. “Maybe that’s why you’ve never been in love—those other girls just aren’t good enough for you.”<br/><br/>Merlin looked at her and chuckled self-consciously. “I’m not that good.”<br/><br/>They stood facing each other for a few seconds. It was just like all their other one-to-one conversations where they discussed an issue and ended up questioning each other, trying to size each other up and work each other out.<br/><br/>It had originally been about magic but now magic was a part of both of them that they just accepted. As far as Morgana was concerned she now found herself more curious about what Merlin thought of her.<br/><br/>As always it was Merlin who broke the silence. “I need to talk to Arthur…”<br/><br/>“I’ll talk to Gwen.”<br/><br/>“Okay.” Again, they stood looking at each other, waiting for the other to leave first. Merlin pointed at the door. “I’ll get going.”<br/><br/>Morgana nodded, “I’ll see you later.”</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>While many in the castle enjoyed the last spots of summer the Knights of Camelot wished to get in some training before they had to suffer the cold winds and rain associated with Camelonian autumns and winters.<br/><br/>It was particularly important for the knights to train as hard as possible as with the prospect of a war breaking out over Albion they knew it was only a matter of time before some of them would be called upon to fight.<br/><br/>The knights ensured a place on the battlefield were people like Percival and Lamorak, who owed allegiance to their father Pellinore. Other knights such as Kay would be held back to protect Camelot along with the royal guard, much to Kay’s disappointment.<br/><br/>Arthur knew no matter what happened he would be sent away to fight, especially if he was going to marry Elaine. It would not be his first battle as he had fought in them since he was fifteen but this would be his first large-scale war.<br/><br/>Instead of fearing the war’s outcome Arthur decided that he would use it as a form of escapism from marriage to Elaine. If he was at war that meant he didn’t have to be with her. He knew if he was lucky he might be called off to war before they managed to shove the ring on his finger. Then he might die in battle and escape the marriage altogether. It would be tragic for Camelot and for its sake he didn’t want to die, but at least he would die knowing he hadn’t betrayed Guinevere with the sham that was his arranged marriage.<br/><br/>Arthur’s distance was not difficult for the knights to miss as he usually broke their noses and loosened their teeth effortlessly, but not today. He wasn’t even trying, instead training by himself.<br/><br/>“Are you alright?” Percival finally asked.<br/><br/>The prince looked up and nodded. “I’m fine, thank you Percival. I’m just rather distracted today.”<br/><br/>“We told you the other day!” Lamorak called. “He’s just depressed that his days as a free man are numbered.”<br/><br/>“Hell, I would be too!” said another knight, Pellas.<br/><br/>“I can’t imagine settling down with one woman for the rest of my life,” Lamorak went on.<br/><br/>“Maybe that’s because you’re not mature enough yet,” Percival replied calmly. “The state of marriage is to be undertaken only by those willing to commit to it.”<br/><br/>Lamorak laughed, “Have you been reading your bible again, brother?”<br/><br/>“I don’t know why you’re all laughing about the issue of marriage,” Kay said, joining the conversation. “All of us will have to do it one day unless we take the vow of purity.”<br/><br/>All of the surrounding men save for Arthur and Percival scoffed at the idea.<br/><br/>“If I wanted to do that I’d become a monk!” Lamorak joked.<br/><br/>Kay turned to Arthur.<br/><br/>“Of course it’s a lot easier for you,” he told him. “You have your bride picked for you while we have to track one down ourselves.”<br/><br/>“Believe me,” Arthur told Kay. “If you want Elaine you are more than welcome to her.”<br/><br/>The knights laughed again, thinking he was joking.<br/><br/>“I told you it was cold feet,” Lamorak stated. He threw down his sword and stretched pleasantly. “I’m going into town to get a drink, anyone else coming.”<br/><br/>“I will,” Pellas said, throwing down his own sword.<br/><br/>“Why not?” Kay said, also stretching. “Are you coming Arthur?”<br/><br/>Arthur sighed. He wanted a drink but he knew that if he went away with the knights he would drink himself into an embarrassing stupor. That was something he wished to avoid in the mood he was in. If he was going to drink himself senseless he wanted to do it in his room where no one could see him.<br/><br/>“I think I’ll pass,” he said distantly.<br/><br/>Lamorak shrugged, “Suit yourself but remember you still need to come out with us some time, relive the old times.”<br/><br/>Arthur just nodded.<br/><br/>The knights began to disband and left their armour, swords and other implements with their menservants. They were all wondering where Merlin as he was usually present to take hits and blows from Arthur but none of them asked where he was.<br/><br/>Lamorak dumped all his things with Gregory. Percival saw this he stepped in to complain; he certainly wasn’t going to get drunk in town.<br/><br/>“Excuse me,” he said to his brother. “Gregory is my manservant, not yours.”<br/><br/>“I’m not going all the way back to my chambers with this lot,” Lamorak laughed. “Erec is still off.”<br/><br/>Percival tilted his head, “Then maybe you shouldn’t have broken his arm.”<br/><br/>Gregory looked to Percival. “I don’t mind taking it back, sire.”<br/><br/>“Put it down,” Percival ordered him. “I don’t see why you should have to run around after my idiot brother.”<br/><br/>Arthur rolled his eyes. It appeared that Gregory still hadn’t grown a backbone. If it had been Merlin he would be sulking about his already large workload.<br/><br/>He looked over towards the castle and the pathway at the side leading to the entrance.<br/><br/>At that moment his heart skipped a beat as, surely enough, he saw Gwen walking along with a basket over her arm and Fach loyally trotting by her side. She was clearly trying to avoid looking at where the knights were training.<br/><br/>Arthur felt all his repressed emotions in his heart, stomach and mouth. He found himself reliving the pain of their enforced separation but also the longing he felt to return to the way things were only a few days ago; everything they had done, all their innocent sins he was hungry to relive, but couldn’t.<br/><br/>Suddenly the fear of making a fool of himself was the last thing on his mind. He was entitled to be a fool in public when his freedom was about to be ripped away in marriage, especially when it wasn’t to the woman he loved.<br/><br/>“On second thought,” Arthur turned back to Kay and Lamorak. “I think I will come with you.”<br/><br/>Kay smiled. “Brilliant!”<br/><br/>Lamorak grinned and dropped everything he had been holding at Gregory’s feet. He turned to Percival. “I’m not going all the way home when Gregory can do it for me, your servant or not. Why have a dog if you’re going to fetch the stick yourself?” Lamorak added before marching off.<br/><br/>Percival rolled his eyes while Arthur stared at Lamorak. He would have laughed at this behaviour a while back but now, nothing.<br/><br/>“Come on, Arthur,” Kay said, putting his arm around his shoulders. “See you later, Percival.”<br/><br/>“Hmm,” Percival said, going back to his training. He noticed Gregory picking up Lamorak’s armour. “Put it down, Gregory; we’ll take it back when I’m done.”<br/><br/>“But it’ll get dirty,” Gregory said.<br/><br/>“Oh dear!” Percival said, uninterested.<br/><br/>Arthur listened to this exchange as he left and smiled; good old, mature Percival.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>“That’s odd,” Gwen said.<br/><br/>“What is?” Morgana asked. She turned around from her dresser to see Gwen staring at the fruit bowl on the dining table in the room. “Is there something wrong?”<br/><br/>“No,” she said still puzzled. “Well, yes but it’s probably just me.”<br/><br/>“What is it?”<br/><br/>“Yesterday I noticed that you had a bowl full of pears but no apples,” Gwen replied. She picked up her basket, which was filled with apples. “I went out this morning to get some more, and now it’s all apples but no pears…”<br/><br/>Morgana blushed. “That is funny.”<br/><br/>She could hardly tell Gwen that she had spent yesterday evening perfecting the simple transformation of pear into apple and apple into pear. Not only would it involve telling her about Merlin but also admitting she had rather girlishly tried to make her performance of the spell faultless to impress him.<br/><br/>“Never mind!” she said quickly. “You can never have too many apples.”<br/><br/>Gwen smiled and placed the basket down. Morgana watched her continue her work as she usually would. It was the consistent work of a perfectionist, much like Morgana and her apple-pears and pear-apples. Her devotion to duty was remarkable; other women who had had an affair with a prince would have elevated themselves above everyone else. The fact that Gwen maintained her modesty showed the sincerity of her love.<br/><br/>Morgana sighed. “Gwen, I know it’s not really my place but…”<br/><br/>Gwen stopped and looked at her.<br/><br/>“It wasn’t Arthur sent that money,” the lady told her. “It was Uther.”<br/><br/>The reaction surprised the mistress as the young handmaiden simply nodded and said, “I thought so although it’s nice to have it confirmed.”<br/><br/>“How do you feel?”<br/><br/>“The same I imagine most people feel when a relationship ends,” Gwen replied.<br/><br/>“So it has ended?”<br/><br/>“It can hardly go on given the circumstances,” she said quietly. “This incident with the money aside, he’s engaged to another woman of his own rank. They say she’s very beautiful, proper queen material. I can’t compete with that.”<br/><br/>“Of course you can!” Morgana protested. “Arthur loves you.”<br/><br/>“I know he does,” Gwen nodded, her face finally revealed the pain she felt. “But he would still be married to Elaine; what sort of life would we lead then? If we carried on as we are now that would be adultery.”<br/><br/>“What if it was the only way?” Morgana asked.<br/><br/>“I need to have some boundaries,” Gwen replied. “I just know that if I don’t stop now I’ll never stop. The fact that Uther wished to buy me off shows he wants me out of the way.”<br/><br/>“I don’t see what it has to do with him—”<br/><br/>“Besides,” Gwen added. “I have to imagine this is harder for Arthur than it is for me, after all he’s the one who has to get married.”<br/><br/>“But—”<br/><br/>“Please, my lady!” Gwen said firmly but carefully. “I’d rather not talk about it. People keep asking me if I’m okay and the more they do the more I realise I’m not okay. I just… need to get on with things.”<br/><br/>Morgana nodded and turned back to what she was doing. “It’s very selfless of you.”<br/><br/>“Well,” Gwen said quietly. “I’m not in a position to be picky.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Merlin decided it was time to face up to his mistake and apologise to Arthur. He went to his room to find him but there was no sign of him. The next logical place to find him was outside training with the knights. This was some sort of comfort because there was some restriction on how much Arthur could yell at him.<br/><br/>He made his way out to training field at the side of the castle but when there was only Percival with Gregory. They noticed him and waved him over.<br/><br/>“Hi Merlin,” Gregory said. “Everyone was wondering where you were.”<br/><br/>“Gregory,” he replied with a smile. “Sir Percival.”<br/><br/>“Good afternoon, Merlin,” Percival said with a smile. “Can we help you with anything?”<br/><br/>“I was looking for Arthur,” Merlin replied. “Do either of you know where he is?”<br/><br/>“He left about an hour ago with my brother and a few of the other knights to get a drink in town,” Percival told him. He stretched, “I think I’m going to go inside now.”<br/><br/>Merlin wondered whether to go and look for Arthur or wait until he came back. He turned to see Gregory struggling to pick up both Percival and Lamorak’s equipment. That helped him decide; he would help him carry everything back their chambers and find Arthur later.<br/><br/>On the way back Gregory spoke to Merlin.<br/><br/>“Have you noticed how weird Gwen is acting today?” he said.<br/><br/>Merlin looked at him, “How’d you mean?”<br/><br/>“I don’t know,” he said. “She just seems to be really down.”<br/><br/>“She probably is down,” Merlin replied, thinking of Arthur again. “Why are you so interested?”<br/><br/>Gregory blushed. “Nothing.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>“Why don’t you just move down here with me?” scoffed the dragon the moment he saw Gaius emerge from the narrow tunnel. “You visit me more often than the boy ever did.”<br/><br/>“You speak in the past tense,” Gaius replied.<br/><br/>“The boy and I discovered we had… artistic differences,” the dragon retorted, still angry about Merlin’s choice to shun him. “Well, what is it?”<br/><br/>“You don’t know?”<br/><br/>“It may surprise you to know that I don’t know everything,” the dragon stated.<br/><br/>“You’ve said that before.”<br/><br/>“Then stop asking me if I know what you want before you say it.”<br/><br/>Gaius put down the touch he was carrying and looked at the dragon. “You told me once before that Arthur was destined to love Gwen…”<br/><br/>“And he is,” the dragon said. “What is your point?”<br/><br/>“The engagement between Arthur and Elaine…”<br/><br/>“It is of no significance,” the dragon replied. “Elaine is destined for another purpose.”<br/><br/>“What is this purpose?”<br/><br/>“She will be the wife, the sister and the mother of a great knight,” the dragon stated.<br/><br/>“I hope that is three different knights.”<br/><br/>“Naturally.”<br/><br/>“But what about the alliance between Camelot and Orkney?” Gaius asked. “A war between the kingdoms of Albion is imminent.”<br/><br/>The dragon sniggered, “That war shall be the turning point of a brand new world. I have been hoping and waiting for the last twenty years that it would come. It will see the rebirth of Albion.”<br/><br/>“How long will these wars last?” Gaius asked.<br/><br/>“It shall be a while yet,” he told him. “Possibly after you are gone.”<br/><br/>“I’m an old man,” Gaius said. “I wonder at times if I shall see next year.”<br/><br/>“If it’s any consolation,” the dragon said with a sense of cheer in his voice. “Very few of the men who created this situation will live to see its outcome.”<br/><br/>Gaius stared at him. “This is the moment you have been waiting for, isn’t it?”<br/><br/>“As I said,” the dragon replied. “I have waited twenty years for this. You should be proud too; this will be the moment the boy becomes the man. It’s such a pity you failed to heed my advice about the girl…”<br/><br/>“Are you talking about Morgana?”<br/><br/>“You know I am,” the dragon replied. “Keep an eye on her, and never let Merlin reveal to her the invincible spell.”<br/><br/>Gaius was taken aback; the dragon knew that Merlin had uncovered the spell. He claimed not to know everything and yet he knew that. He sometimes wondered whether the dragon had ‘selective foresight’. “I wouldn’t be so foolish,” he snapped.<br/><br/>“You have not heeded my words up until now,” the dragon growled back. “I suggest you start doing so.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Over dinner that evening Merlin noticed Gaius seemed distant in his thoughts. He did not want to say anything because it usually meant Gaius was contemplating how much trouble Merlin was in. However after a supper of stony silence Merlin broke it by asking what was wrong. It was odd, like the roles were reversed.<br/><br/>“Is there something wrong Gaius?”<br/><br/>He looked at Merlin. “Are you still teaching Morgana to use magic?”<br/><br/>Merlin scratched the back of his head. “I haven’t had a chance for a while what with… one thing and another.”<br/><br/>“Arthur and Gwen?”<br/><br/>He nodded, “But yes I’m still teaching her.”<br/><br/>“And you haven’t been showing her any of the harder spells?” Gaius asked curiously.<br/><br/>Merlin chuckled, “No!”<br/><br/>“Are you sure?”<br/><br/>“Gaius, she still finds it hard to turn apples into pears and when I taught her to make fire she nearly set her hair alight.”<br/><br/>Gaius sniggered although he knew he should not. “I was just checking; I know what you’re like.”<br/><br/>“Most of my spells are far too advanced for her,” Merlin told him. “And even if she could do them I wouldn’t show her the dangerous ones. I wouldn’t dare.”<br/><br/>“Because of her?”<br/><br/>“And you,” Merlin replied with a grin.<br/><br/>Gaius nodded. “Alright, Merlin, I believe you.”<br/><br/>“Thank you,” Merlin replied with his comical smile. He quickly looked out the window and looked back at Gaius. “What time is it?”<br/><br/>“It’s coming up for seven,” Gaius replied. Merlin got up and rushed for the door. “Do you need to be somewhere?”<br/><br/>“I need to find Arthur,” he replied.<br/><br/>“Don’t you know where he is?”<br/><br/>“He went out with the other knights but he hasn’t come back yet,” Merlin explained. “At least that’s what Percival told me.”<br/><br/>Gaius scowled. “Did you have an argument?”<br/><br/>“You make it sound as if we’re ten years old!”<br/><br/>“Then you should both stop acting like you are,” Gaius retorted. “What happened?”<br/><br/>Merlin looked sheepishly at Gaius. “After Gwen was given that money we all thought it had come directly from Arthur. I returned it to him on her behalf and I <em>may</em> have yelled at him.”<br/><br/>“May have?”<br/><br/>“Yes, ‘may have’ meaning ‘did’.”<br/><br/>Gaius rolled his eyes. “Merlin!”<br/><br/>“I’m sorry,” the boy sulked. “I thought he deserved it at the time. I could have said a lot worse than I did, though.”<br/><br/>“Merlin, you could have lost your job…”<br/><br/>“Like I said,” Merlin replied. “I did it for Gwen, but now I know my mistake I have to apologise. If Arthur still loves Gwen and is my friend he of all people will understand my reasons.”<br/><br/>“Be sure to catch him in a good mood.”<br/><br/>“If I can find him,” Merlin said.<br/><br/>The young warlock made his way towards Arthur’s chambers knowing that around this time he was usually there either with his ‘friends’ or alone thinking up new evil designs to put Merlin through. A few days ago he would probably have been with Gwen somewhere, but that was obviously off the table.<br/><br/>However, when he got to the room it was empty. There was no sign that Arthur or anyone else had been there since he had checked that afternoon.<br/><br/>Merlin felt worry in his chest; where was Arthur?<br/><br/>He decided to check places in the castle he would usually find Arthur. He knew it was too late to be outside in the fields and it was not Arthur’s night for guard duty so he wouldn’t be in the courtyard.<br/><br/>Merlin thought to check the throne room, the council room and the dining room. These were the three places Arthur seemed to spend a lot time over the last few weeks.<br/><br/>The first port of call was the dining room but on inspection he saw that the table being cleared and the servants said Arthur had not been there. Similarly he received odd looks from the guards standing by the throne room as he peeked in as the servants were beginning to light the candles. None of them had seen Arthur either.<br/><br/>The final place was the Privy Council chambers.<br/><br/>Merlin hated the council room; it was a frightening sight even if Uther was there alone never mind he <em>and</em> his ‘fan club’ of councillors. It was completely empty except for a few papers sprawled out over the table and flickering candles illuminating the room.<br/><br/>After one final peak he decided Arthur was not there and closed the door. He stood there for a minute, really starting to worry about where his master was.<br/><br/>“Merlin!” came a booming voice.<br/><br/>Merlin’s blood turned to ice as he turned around to face a scowling Uther stood right in from of him. At the king’s side stood Áedh, the ambassador for Orkney.<br/><br/>“Sire…” the young servant said nervously.<br/><br/>“Where is my son?” the king demanded.<br/><br/>Merlin stared at him; if Uther didn’t know and he didn’t know… where the hell <em>was</em> Arthur?<br/><br/>“Your son?” Merlin repeated. “Prince Arthur?”<br/><br/>Uther gritted his teeth, not in the mood for the boy’s idiocy. “Yes, that’s him. Where is he?”<br/><br/>“I don’t know,” Merlin said blankly.<br/><br/>“You don’t know?”<br/><br/>“I don’t know.”<br/><br/>Uther closed in on him, “What do you mean you don’t know?”<br/><br/>“I mean,” the servant said, very nervous. “I don’t know. He didn’t tell me where he was going…”<br/><br/>The king glowered at the young servant. He admired the boy’s loyalty to Arthur but at the tender age of nineteen he had shown supreme stupidity and foolishness. The king could only hope the boy would grow out of it when he finally became a man—if he made it that far.<br/><br/>“Well,” Uther finally said. “I suggest you find him.”<br/><br/>“I was trying to, sire…”<br/><br/>“Then keep trying!”<br/><br/>“Yes sire!” Merlin replied quickly.<br/><br/>He scurried off as fast as he could down the corridor under the flaring eyes of Uther and Áedh. The two older men watched him go before entering the council room and continuing their conversation.<br/><br/>“It seems the prince is not adjusting too well to the prospect of marriage to our royal princess,” Áedh said knowingly.<br/><br/>Uther shook his head. “I must apologise for his behaviour, I certainly wouldn’t want Lot to get the wrong idea about him.”<br/><br/>“Oh there is no risk of that,” Áedh said with a smile. “My queen holds her nephew in great affection. She says he reminds her of herself.”<br/><br/>Uther cringed although in many ways he had to admit it was true. “Arthur is usually the first to do his duty to Camelot and to his people,” the king continued. “I have no doubt that he will do so even now but…”<br/><br/>“Yes, sire?”<br/><br/>“It’s just this girl…”<br/><br/>Áedh tilted his head. “Girl?”<br/><br/>The king sat at the table and sighed. “A maidservant, my ward Morgana’s maid to be precise.”<br/><br/>“Ah, yes, I know who you mean,” Áedh remarked as the image of the modest young woman came to his mind. “Does she have a name?”<br/><br/>“Gwen,” Uther said. “At least, that’s what she’s known as colloquially. I can never remember her full name, which is remarkable because my son calls her by it frequently. It’s a very pretty sounding name.”<br/><br/>“And you say this girl is your son’s mistress?”<br/><br/>“She was,” the king replied. “I put an end to it, naturally.”<br/><br/>“Indeed,” the ambassador agreed. “I suppose it would be rather embarrassing for my princess to find herself being compared to a serving girl. That said it is nothing <em>too</em> terrible after all many men have a mistress, in some cases several.”<br/><br/>“Hmm,” the king said. “I don’t know what it is but this girl seems to… have a <em>hold</em> on him.”<br/><br/>Áedh listened carefully. “Is he in love with her?”<br/><br/>“I have no idea,” Uther replied. “He very rarely remains interested in a woman once he had, to put it bluntly, had his way with her.”<br/><br/>“Most men his age are like that,” Áedh replied.<br/><br/>“But he hasn’t lost interest in this one,” Uther explained. “I’m not certain how it all began but I know that it has been going on for months now. At first I felt discretion was the best option but given the nature of the circumstances I felt it best if you knew.”<br/><br/>“Indeed, sire.”<br/><br/>Uther paused for a moment to think. “It is strange how he is faced with an engagement to one of the most beautiful princesses in Albion as well as a court is filled with beautiful young women of his own status… and he chooses a servant girl. A pretty servant girl but still a servant girl…”<br/><br/>Áedh watched the king’s rhetorical musing before he spoke up. “Do you mind if I say something, sire?”<br/><br/>“Speak freely.”<br/><br/>“With no disrespect to the ladies of your court or my princess,” the man began, “beautiful girls rarely make good wives. The strongest love is a bond developed over time and unseen. There is no such thing as real love at first sight. Passion and attraction, but not love.”<br/><br/>Uther agreed with this philosophy. “I suppose you are right.”<br/><br/>“If this girl has a hold on him then he won’t forget about her overnight,” he replied.<br/><br/>“So, what action would you suggest?”<br/><br/>Áedh smiled knowingly. “It is not the place of the Orcadian ambassador to advise the king of Camelot.”<br/><br/>“And he wouldn’t take your advice anyway,” Uther replied with an equally knowing smile. He gestured for the ambassador to continue. “You are a go between for Anna and myself, therefore I would appreciate your opinion.”<br/><br/>“Well,” the ambassador began. “I would do nothing for now. There is a chance that the relationship will cool off if you have put a stop to it. However if it continues then encourage discretion—at the end of the day it doesn’t matter as long as he still marries Elaine.”<br/><br/>Uther nodded, relaxed by the understanding attitude Áedh was painting of the situation. “But if the girl interferes…?”<br/><br/>Áedh glanced at the king carefully. “I would say, in that case, my queen would be very interested to know about the situation. How you deal with it, of course, is entirely up to you, sire.”<br/><br/>The king smiled and nodded once again. “Thank you, Áedh.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Merlin did not know where else to look after he had searched the obvious areas of the castle. In the end he could think of nothing better than to ask Morgana if she has any idea about where he could be.<br/><br/>He sprinted up the stairs and was about to knock on the door when it opened. Morgana stood at the door. He nearly leapt out of his skin. It seemed every time he went to her chambers she was standing by the door waiting.<br/><br/>“God, I wish you wouldn’t do that!” he complained.<br/><br/>“I felt you coming,” she said whispered back.<br/><br/>Merlin blushed slightly but the dimness of the stairway hid it. “I’m not bothering you?”<br/><br/>“No, I was just getting ready to go to bed.”<br/><br/>“It’s a bit early for that, isn’t it?”<br/><br/>“I wanted to get an early night,” she replied. “I thought about what you said about my drinking and decided it would do me better to settle down early rather than drinking myself to sleep late at night.”<br/><br/>Merlin seemed flattered. “Wow, following my advice?”<br/><br/>Morgana smiled. “Yes, I am. So, what’s wrong?”<br/><br/>“I can’t find Arthur,” he said.<br/><br/>“Have you tried looking for him?”<br/><br/>Merlin chuckled, “Yes, that thought <em>had</em> crossed my mind. I’ve looked everywhere and he’s no where.”<br/><br/>“He must be <em>somewhere</em>.”<br/><br/>“I’ve looked everywhere he could be and I can’t find him.”<br/><br/>Morgana’s face became more serious. She stepped out of her bedroom and closed the door a jar, “Are you sure you looked everywhere?”<br/><br/>“In castle.”<br/><br/>“Maybe he’s… out.”<br/><br/>“He’s been ‘out’ since this afternoon,” Merlin said worriedly. “Listen, you haven’t seen or heard from him have you?”<br/><br/>“No,” Morgana said quietly. “I haven’t heard from him all day…”<br/><br/>“My lady?” came a voice from within the room.<br/><br/>The door opened and Gwen emerged from behind the door. The moment she saw Merlin she knew something was wrong. “Is everything alright?”<br/><br/>She looked between Merlin and Morgana. Then Merlin stated that everything was fine with such forced enthusiasm that made Gwen worry more.<br/><br/>“What’s wrong?” she asked.<br/><br/>“Nothing,” Morgana said with the same voice as Merlin.<br/><br/>“You are both such terrible liars,” Gwen said, tilting her head. The three of them stood in silence. She looked at Merlin, “Is there something wrong with Arthur?”<br/><br/>“No,” he said quickly.<br/><br/>“Merlin, what—”<br/><br/>“Gwen,” Morgana said soothingly. “Could you rush over to Gaius’s chambers and collect my sleeping draft? I forgot to collect it earlier.”<br/><br/>Gwen knew she was trying to get rid of her, but she nodded reluctantly. “Yes, of course,” she muttered and she walked off towards Gaius’s chambers, the whole time wondering what was wrong. She knew it had to be about Arthur else Merlin wouldn’t look so worried.<br/><br/>They waited until Gwen was gone before they spoke again.<br/><br/>“I’m sorry,” Merlin said. “If I’d known I’d have brought it myself.”<br/><br/>Morgana put her finger to her lips. “I only said it so that Gwen doesn’t hear. I don’t want her worrying about Arthur now; she’s having a tough time as it is.”<br/><br/>Merlin nodded and leant closer to whisper: “Uther asked me to look for him. I’m pretty sure if I don’t I’ll end up in the stocks over night.”<br/><br/>Morgana nodded, “So what do you want from me?”<br/><br/>“I know he’s not in the castle,” Merlin told her. “He must be somewhere in town. This afternoon when I tried looking for him Percival said that he had gone with the knights to get a drink.”<br/><br/>“Oh!” she said with realisation. “In that case I’d look for him there—it’s not like him to drink so long or late but given the blow he’s taken over the last few days…”<br/><br/>“Right,” Merlin said with a gawky smile. He turned to leave when he stopped suddenly and turned back. “Where am I looking for him? There are lots of places you can get a drink in this city.”<br/><br/>“You should know,” Morgana said cattily. “You spend Saturday night trying them out.”<br/><br/>Merlin rolled his eyes but smiled. “Could you narrow down the search for me?”<br/><br/>“If he’s gone with the knights then I’d say it’ll be the one in the upper quarter of town,” she explained. “You remember the one you, Gwen and I went to when we tried come up with a plan to sneak the druid boy out of Camelot?”<br/><br/>It finally dawned on him. “Great, thanks.”<br/><br/>He rushed off again quickly down the stairs when Morgana called after him. “Merlin!”<br/><br/>“Hmm?” he said, looking up from the bottom.<br/><br/>“Be careful,” she advised him. “If he’s been out since this afternoon he’s almost certainly drunk.”<br/><br/>“I’ll remember that,” he replied with a smile. “Sweet dreams!”<br/><br/>Morgana laughed sarcastically and watched him go before she closed the door.<br/><br/>Merlin made sure to go a different route to the one Gwen had taken to ensure he wouldn’t cross paths with her and have to explain what was going on. He didn’t want her to worry either, especially if Arthur was trying to drink himself into a happier mood.<br/><br/>He hated walking along the streets in the evening. It was the moment the shops closed, guards patrolled and people that only worked at night, those of ill repute, took to streets. They had been few and far between since Arthur had led the reforms in the city guard but they were still ever present.<br/><br/>Then again Merlin had nothing worth stealing.<br/><br/>Once he had reached his destination he walked cautiously in, worried that he might not find Arthur in there either. If he wasn’t then he truly was lost to the world. Obviously, he had to turn up eventually but Merlin would be slaughtered if he didn’t find him tonight.<br/><br/>He stood at the entrance and scanned the room carefully. It was a weekday evening so it was starting to get busy. He walked further in and tried to find Arthur, or any of the knights. There were artisans, palace guards and servants having a laugh and discussing their day at work, but no knights and no prince.<br/><br/>Merlin felt defeated.<br/><br/>He span around one last time when he finally spotted Arthur sitting alone in the corner of the room. Merlin felt a sigh of relief escape him and he went straight over. When he finally reached his master’s side, however, he went unnoticed. Arthur was staring into space, completely distracted from his surroundings.<br/><br/>“Sire,” Merlin said. There was no response other than a disenchanted groan. He reached over and shook him by the shoulder. “Arthur, can you hear me?”<br/><br/>Arthur looked at Merlin but said nothing. His mind felt heavy in his head, the backs of his eyes were hurting and he had to squint them to focus his vision. He tried to string a sentence together in his mind but it came out disconnected.<br/><br/>“Oh,” he muttered through a dry mouth. “It’s you.”<br/><br/>It was obvious to Merlin that Arthur had taken more than he could handle. He shook his head and moved to get him to his feet. “Come on we’re going home.”<br/><br/>“Yes, ‘darling’.”<br/><br/>Merlin rolled his eyes; even when he was drunk Arthur still had a sense of humour.<br/><br/>The manservant put all his strength into and managed to get Arthur to his feet. He had never had to support his master in a drunken state. Arthur just did not do things like this, but now he was like the ghost of someone who had just died.<br/><br/>“Do you know what what’s-his-name called me?” Arthur asked Merlin.<br/><br/>Merlin tried to hurl Arthur to his feet. “No, what?”<br/><br/>Arthur had not moved from that spot in over four hours. He did not even move when the other knights moved on, some to go home and some to go off elsewhere. Arthur didn’t know where but he had a feeling it was to women of ill repute. Lamorak had mocked his choice not to go with them.<br/><br/>“He said I was a mick in the stud…”<br/><br/>“You mean ‘a stick in the mud’?” Merlin gritted out, trying to keep Arthur up. “God, you’re not exactly light, are you?”<br/><br/>“Maybe you’re just weak!” Arthur gave a parched laugh before a sudden thought dawned on him. “Wait a second I… I thought you weren’t, you know, <em>what is it?</em> Talking to me.”<br/><br/>Merlin ignored him and tried to keep Arthur walking. The evening had just started to set in as they made their way out onto the streets.<br/><br/>“What were you doing in there so long?” Merlin asked, not expecting an answer.<br/><br/>“Thinking,” the master replied anyway.<br/><br/>“A dangerous pass time for you,” Merlin said, trying to make a joke. “And enjoying a drink?”<br/><br/>“Not enjoying,” Arthur murmured back. “The more I drink…the more I think.”<br/><br/>They walked further along in silence.<br/><br/>“I’m sorry about yesterday,” Merlin finally said. He might not have found the courage to say it so easily had Arthur not been intoxicated. “I know it was the king who sent the money to Gwen, not you. I’m sorry I yelled at you.”<br/><br/>Arthur suddenly led out a loud and frustrated moan at the mention of his father. He found the strength to stand up straighter but put all his weight on Merlin, who stumbled as a result.<br/><br/>“Damn him,” Arthur growled through his teeth. “Damn my father, <em>damn him</em>. I’ve had enough of him…”<br/><br/>Someone walking by stopped to stare at them. Merlin waved them off with an innocent smile before he tried to push their walking forward again. “Sire, quiet!” he said. “You may be the crowned prince but you can’t say things like that in the street.”<br/><br/>“I don’t care anymore,” Arthur muttered solemnly. “Camelot is all I have now. If I can’t share my thoughts with it, then what’s the point?”<br/><br/>Merlin swallowed. “Arthur, I know you’re upset right now. I know why you’re angry with your father,” (And Merlin was angry too although he wouldn’t say it), “and I know why you’ve got yourself into this state—<em>but it doesn’t solve anything</em>.”<br/><br/>“Don’t worry,” Arthur assured him. “I won’t make a habit of it—I hate this. I just wanted to <em>forget</em>…”<br/><br/>“Forget what?”<br/><br/>“Forget this <em>whole</em> situation!” Arthur snapped.<br/><br/>He broke away from Merlin with passionate force and somehow managed to stand on his own feet. Although his speech was still slurred he spoke as if his words had a divine purpose:<br/><br/>“I want to forget I am being sold for marriage,” he stated. “Forget there’s a war about to break out; forget my father tried to buy off the woman I—<em>oh, dear god</em>—behind my back…”<br/><br/>Arthur spun around to face Merlin who watched as if he were a bewildered audience member of a tragic comedy.<br/><br/>“Forget that I am me,” he concluded with certainty. “Yes, <em>me</em>. Arthur, the greatest idiotic <em>prat</em> that ever lived!”<br/><br/>And, as if on cue, Arthur lost his bearing, flumped to the ground and landed on his back. Merlin rushed to his side to help him up. He listened to Arthur groaning from his fall and from the torment in his mind.<br/><br/>“—I’d rather die <em>right now</em> than be without her,” he garbled incoherently. “I should have <em>told her</em> more often—”<br/><br/>Merlin tried to pull him but unsuccessfully, “Arthur…”<br/><br/>“You’re right,” he went on dejectedly. “I really <em>am</em> insensitive.”<br/><br/>The young servant pitied Arthur; for the first time in all the time he had known him Merlin had never seen Arthur so helpless. Even when Arthur had been dying from the questing beast’s bite he hadn’t looked quite so vulnerable.<br/><br/>Merlin took hold of him from under his arms and used all his strength to hoist him back up again.<br/><br/>“It’s alright,” he said soothingly. “We’ll be home soon.”<a id="cutid1-end" name="cutid1-end"></a></p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I just didn’t know whom else to tell,” Merlin explained as he led Gaius to Arthur’s chambers. “I’ve never really had to handle a drunken Arthur before.”<br/><br/>It had taken an eternity for Merlin to get Arthur home. The two of them had stumbled along the castle passageways until they finally reached Arthur’s chambers. Merlin had felt so relieved that he nearly dropped his master in the doorway. Arthur was only half awake and Merlin had been forced to lug his master to his bed. The performance went on further as the servant dragged off the prince’s boots. He attempted to make Arthur more comfortable in his stupor when he began to complain that his head was spinning. That was the point Merlin gave up and decided to find Gaius.<br/><br/>“I mean,” Merlin went on as they entered the room, “I didn’t want to put him to bed until you’d checked him. He’s been drinking but I don’t know how much.”<br/><br/>Gaius leant over Arthur to check him; the ale was strong on his breath. The old man shook his head. “There’s nothing wrong with him. He just drank too much but it’s certainly done him no damage. All it has done is put him to sleep, which is probably for the best.”<br/><br/>Merlin perched on a table. “It’s so unlike him,” he muttered between his fingers. “He did say that this was a one time thing and he wouldn’t do it again, though.”<br/><br/>“That’s good,” Gaius replied. “He’s going to wish he’d never done it in the first place when he wakes up tomorrow.”<br/><br/>“So, it’ll be a bad hangover?” Merlin asked.<br/><br/>“For him, yes” the old man said. “Of course, it would be an average Sunday morning for you.”<br/><br/>Merlin pouted. It was true that he always suffered from bad hangovers, but that was because he just couldn’t hold his drink whereas Arthur always could. It was a testament to how much he must have drank tonight.<br/><br/>“Should we tell the king?”<br/><br/>“I doubt it would do much good.”<br/><br/>“I think that was the point of the exercise.”<br/><br/>Gaius looked up, “You think Arthur did this on purpose?”<br/><br/>Merlin nodded. “You know as well as I do that Arthur cares about the way other people see him, especially his father. He’d <em>never</em> do this ordinarily.”<br/><br/>“I suppose you’re right,” Gaius agreed.<br/><br/>Merlin sighed and looked over at Arthur. “I’ve never seen him so vulnerable. I know that he wants to do right by Camelot, but this whole thing with this princess…”<br/><br/>“Elaine of Orkney,” the old man said firmly.<br/><br/>“It’s confused him,” he finished.<br/><br/>Gaius sighed. “Indeed, it seems that what Arthur wants and what is best for Camelot differs this time.”<br/><br/>“I disagree,” Merlin replied, thinking of what Morgana told him. “It’s really a difference in what Arthur wants and what his father wants. I don’t think the marriage with Elaine is the best for Camelot.”<br/><br/>Gaius shook his head. The words echoed those of the dragon but he knew that everything he said was wise but had to be taken with a pinch of salt. He also knew that the dragon was self-serving, something Merlin was not. In his own mind Gaius felt that, for once, Uther was right and a strong alliance with Orkney would see Camelot through the worst of the Rheged conflict.<br/><br/>“Merlin,” he finally said. “I understand your loyalty to Gwen, but through a political point of view…”<br/><br/>“Yes, politically Uther maybe right” Merlin conceded. “But he’s wrong when it comes to destiny.”<br/><br/>“The word of the moment,” Gaius said. “Why do you say that?”<br/><br/>He knew Merlin couldn’t have heard it from the dragon like he had, since the dragon had indicated that he and Merlin were no longer on speaking terms. Gaius knew there was only one other source Merlin would quote.<br/><br/>“It was something Morgana told me,” he said.<br/><br/>Just as I suspected, Gaius thought. “What did she tell you?”<br/><br/>“She said that she thinks Arthur and Gwen were destined to fall in love with each other,” Merlin explained. “She said that she saw them together, in the future, in a dream before the business with the letters even happened.”<br/><br/>“Couldn’t that have just been a dream?”<br/><br/>“When Morgana first told me about the dream Arthur and Gwen hardly spoke to each other,” Merlin replied. “She not only had the dream just before the letters but just before they started to interact more and become friends with each other.”<br/><br/>Gaius was unconvinced. “You think Morgana saw the future when she saw Arthur and Gwen together?”<br/><br/>“It had to have been,” the young warlock stated. “I had forgotten but when she reminded me I recalled how she said they weren’t just together in the future but married and Gwen was Arthur’s queen.”<br/><br/>“She said Gwen was the queen?” Gaius asked, and Merlin nodded.<br/><br/>Gaius felt a shot of realisation rush through him and he finally came to terms with the fact that what the dragon had told him several months ago when he had first asked about Gwen’s role in the destiny was true. The old lizard’s words echoed in his head: she would be Arthur’s first, last and greatest love.<br/><br/>It was a remarkable and romantic thought that a girl who came from so little could rise to such heights.<br/><br/>“It would be a wonderful story if it was true.”<br/><br/>“I think it is true,” Merlin said.<br/><br/>“Merlin, really” Gaius said, rolling his eyes. “As noble as Gwen is the idea is absurd…”<br/><br/>“But the things Morgana has seen in her dreams are starting to come true! Maybe, rather than Gwen being the hurdle in Uther’s grand scheme, <em>his</em> plan is the thing that is tripping up destiny.”<br/><br/>Gaius nodded slowly. “I admit many of the things Morgana sees in her dreams do come to pass…”<br/><br/>“They do!” Merlin agreed. “She foresaw the conflict in Rheged, the fact that Gwen would be given money and that I would lose it at Arthur because of it. If she saw all of that then the other things in her dream might happen too.”<br/><br/>“That aside,” Gaius said firmly and indicated over to the bed where Arthur still lay sleeping. “What good does this all do Arthur? Uther has decided that Arthur shall marry Elaine.”<br/><br/>Merlin looked over at his master and sighed, feeling pity for him and the situation he was in. He could not imagine what it was to be torn between duty to his country and duty to the woman he loved.<br/><br/>“I don’t know,” the young man said. “All I do know is that this is all taking a toll on Arthur. I think deep down he knows this alliance with Elaine is wrong but he doesn’t understand why because on face value it seems logical.”<br/><br/>“Like an innate instinct?” Gaius suggested.<br/><br/>Merlin looked at him. “You believe in destiny, don’t you?”<br/><br/>“I have respect for the influence it has on people,” Gaius agreed, the scientific side of his mind warning him against full belief. “I think it plays a stronger role in the lives of people like you rather than ordinary people.”<br/><br/>Merlin walked over to Arthur’s bedside and shook his head. “Either way, this is entirely Uther’s fault. I just wish he wasn’t so-so—<em>ignorant</em>.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>It had taken a while before Morgana had felt tired enough to fall asleep. She had lain in her bed thinking about her dreams and real life. It scared her how the two realities were starting to cross over. She worried about going to sleep; afraid of what she might see, afraid she might dream and afraid she might not dream.<br/><br/>A light shone in from the next room where Gwen was sitting, looking out the window and waiting for the nightmare to begin. She knew that if Morgana was ‘getting an early night’ she was probably looking to have a dream, which meant Gwen would have to pick up the pieces when she woke up.<br/><br/>The trouble was that while Gwen could be a comfort to her, these dreams were just dreams and had no meaning.<br/><br/>Morgana disliked being such a hassle to Gwen, especially after everything she was going through. Part of the fear she felt about going to sleep was dreaming of what might happen to Gwen, or Arthur, or even Merlin.<br/><br/>It was an hour before she finally felt tired enough to stop thinking. Finally, after a while of blank thinking, she drifted off to sleep.<br/><br/>Gwen poked her head around the door to see how Morgana was and was relieved to see her sleeping peacefully.<br/><br/>She quietly returned to look out the window over Camelot. The sky was black and the city was illuminated with touches and lamps. She saw the extra city guards marching through the streets, lighting up even the darkest corners. It had certainly made it safer to walk home.<br/><br/>Gwen felt movement under her chair and looked down. Fach emerged from under her skirts and looked up at her, blankly. Gwen looked back at her and smiled, wondering what she was thinking. She’s probably wondering why we haven’t gone home yet, Gwen thought.<br/><br/>“Are you bored?” she asked the dog, quietly.<br/><br/>Fach wagged her tail and went on staring at her. Gwen sighed, stroked her head and looked back out of the window.<br/><br/>Gwen wondered if her life would be filled with moments of remorse and regret and wondering what might have been. It was hard to see past the situation as it was now. It was hard to be optimistic about the future.<br/><br/>She sighed.<br/><br/>All she could do was hope the pain would go away, but it just wouldn’t. There were moments when she was so wrapped up in her thoughts that the pain was dulled, but it never went completely.<br/><br/>There were not enough words in the world to describe how she felt about herself or where she could go from there. She did not know whether to feel ashamed, angry or heartbroken; she felt all three at different times.<br/><br/>The only thing she could imagine now was to drift through life. Even if something bad were to happen to her it could not compare to the torturous limbo she existed in now.<br/><br/>Gwen scooped down and pulled Fach onto her lap. She was glad of the dog’s company even if she was just a dog. The way she stared blankly around gave her a sense of comfort. She stroked the little dog in gratitude.<br/><br/>Yet at the same time everything she had said to Morgana was true. She could not imagine ever living without the love she felt for Arthur, and ultimately she did not want to be without it. Even in the pain she felt over losing him, the thought of him made her smile.<br/><br/>That was one thing Uther could not take away from her.<br/><br/>Gwen sat looking out the window for a while before she heard a sharp call of her name from behind her. “Gwen!” it said. She snapped her head around and saw Morgana standing there, a look of desperation in her face. It was especially unusual as very rarely did Morgana rise from bed after a nightmare, but merely scream and wait until she came.<br/><br/>She looked at her quizzically, “Morgana?”<br/><br/>“Gwen,” Morgana said. Gwen rose from her chair as she rushed up to her. “I know this may sound strange but I need you to find Merlin, now.”<br/><br/>Gwen was confused, “Merlin, but why?”<br/><br/>“I wish I could tell you,” Morgana replied. “I hate asking you to do this at night but I need to talk to him. It has to be him.”<br/><br/>The handmaiden was apprehensive about Morgana’s desire to speak to Merlin. She knew that the two of them were friends and that they spoke frequently in secret about things Gwen knew nothing about. Arthur had joked about it but the nature of their relationship did make her wonder what was between them.<br/><br/>Gwen was tempted to ask Morgana about her nightmare, (which as far as Gwen knew was just a nightmare), and what she had seen but she realised there was no point.<br/><br/>“I’ll go and find him,” she said.<br/><br/>Before she left Gwen lit the candles in the room and handed Morgana a cup of willow water to calm her down before she set off to find Merlin. She hated leaving Morgana on her own after one of the nightmares, as she always seemed to become hysterical and irrational.<br/><br/>This time Morgana sat at the end of her bed in silence, however. That made Gwen even more nervous.<br/><br/>Gwen felt it was too late for Merlin to still be working so she made her way to Gaius’s chambers. It was too early for them both to be in bed but it was still getting late, so she knocked on the door carefully before going in.<br/><br/>Inside, she saw Gaius sitting at his table reading a book. He seemed surprised to see her. “Gwen, what brings you here?”<br/><br/>Gwen did not know what to say. It occurred to her that Gaius knew about the money, and had probably been told by Uther as well as by Merlin, so she felt awkward despite the fact the reason for her visit had nothing to do with her.<br/><br/>“I was looking for Merlin,” she said quietly.<br/><br/>Gaius regarded her for a moment. “He’s not here right now, is there anything I can do?”<br/><br/>She shrugged. “I don’t know; it was Morgana who sent me.”<br/><br/>His forehead creased, “What does she want with Merlin at this time?”<br/><br/>“She said she couldn’t tell me,” she replied. “All she did say was that she needed to talk to Merlin now.”<br/><br/>Gaius sighed; if Morgana ‘couldn’t tell’ Gwen why she wanted to see Merlin it could only been because she had a dream. The dragon had warned him to keep them apart and Gaius wondered if it had something to do with Morgana’s dreams.<br/><br/>“He’s at Arthur’s chambers,” he told her.<br/><br/>“Oh,” was all she mustered. Gwen’s heart leapt at the thought of seeing Arthur after all that had happened. They had only spoken that morning but it felt like days.<br/><br/>Gaius saw Gwen’s anxiety and stood up. “I’ll go with you to collect him.”<br/><br/>They walked down the dimly lit corridors of the castle in silence. When they finally reached Arthur’s chambers Gwen stopped outside, staring at the door. Her chest felt nothing but anxiety. The old man saw her apprehension and spoke up before they went in, “I wouldn’t worry—Arthur is asleep.”<br/><br/>That surprised Gwen. “It’s still early for Arthur to be asleep, is he alright?”<br/><br/>Gaius said nothing; she would find out soon enough.<br/><br/>He opened the door and they both walked in to see Merlin sitting on the edge of the table watching Arthur. Gwen almost did not notice Merlin as her eyes fell straight away on Arthur.<br/><br/>Merlin jumped to his feet when he noticed Gwen. “What’s wrong; what are you doing here?”<br/><br/>Gwen tore her eyes away from Arthur to address him. “Morgana sent me to find you,” she then looked back to her former lover. “Is he alright?”<br/><br/>Merlin sighed. “There’s nothing wrong, exactly.”<br/><br/>She stared at him, waiting for a response. “What is it?”<br/><br/>“He’s drunk,” Gaius declared.<br/><br/>Gwen felt relieved that he wasn’t ill or in any danger. When Merlin came to Morgana’s chambers she feared the worst before she realised that even they wouldn’t hide the worst from her if it involved Arthur.<br/><br/>“He just drank a bit more than he’s used to,” Merlin assured her. “I wouldn’t worry as he said he wouldn’t make a habit of it… before he fell over. I just thought I’d stay here and make sure he was alright.”<br/><br/>Gwen smiled despite herself and looked back at Arthur. “Why did he do this to himself?” she said distantly.<br/><br/>Merlin lowered his eyes and cleared his throat. “I think this whole thing has just got to him.”<br/><br/>Gwen sighed sadly. “So, this is my fault?”<br/><br/>“No, no!” Merlin protested. “It’s not your fault—it’s Uther’s fault!”<br/><br/>“Merlin!” Gaius scolded.<br/><br/>“Well, it’s true!” the young man retorted. He then chuckled and turned back to a rather confused Gwen. “I’ve never seen him like this; he was shouting in the street about how he’s ‘had enough’ of father. I half expected him to call for revolution!”<br/><br/>Gwen managed to smile again. “He does get rowdy when he’s drunk.”<br/><br/>“Does he?” Merlin said. “I’ve never actually seen him drunk before.”<br/><br/>She shook her head. “He can normally hold it, but when he drinks too much he starts blurting out things he’d never say while sober.”<br/><br/>“Expressing his feelings has never been Arthur’s strong point.”<br/><br/>Gwen tilted her head. “That’s because he’s shy.”<br/><br/>Both Merlin and Gaius, who had been watching the exchange in interest, nearly burst out laughing. Even though Gaius had known him since birth he had never seen Arthur as shy.<br/><br/>“He is shy,” Gwen protested. “When you’re brought up surrounded by people showering you with insincere affection while your father drags you up, it’s bound to stunt your ability to show your emotions.”<br/><br/>Merlin smiled. “You’re too sweet for your own good sometimes, Gwen.”<br/><br/>There was a short pause as Merlin and Gwen exchanged looks. Gwen knew why she had been so taken with Merlin once; he was angelic. She still felt a rush of affection for him even now although it was nothing like the one she felt for Arthur. If Morgana had fallen for Merlin, Gwen thought, it was no surprise to her.<br/><br/>“Morgana has had another dream,” she finally told Merlin. “She wants you to come and see her immediately.”<br/><br/>Merlin felt his heart skip a beat. He looked curiously at Gaius, who stood with his arms folded, scowling at the younger generation.<br/><br/>“I see,” he finally said, “Why me?”<br/><br/>“She said she couldn’t tell me,” she explained. “She just wanted you to come, now.”<br/><br/>Merlin knew that if Morgana desperately wanted to see him it could only mean she had seen something significant. He did not want to leave Arthur in this state but he needed to speak to Morgana.<br/><br/>Gwen noticed how he looked longingly at Gaius, trying to convince him to stay with Arthur until he got back. The old man looked as if he was about to relent when Gwen suddenly spoke up. “You both go and I’ll stay here with Arthur.”<br/><br/>Merlin and Gaius looked at her in surprise. It had been just moments ago that Gwen was too frightened to face Arthur alone. Suddenly, she was willing to stay with him while he slept off his drunken state.<br/><br/>“You don’t have to,” Merlin said.<br/><br/>“I know but I want to.”<br/><br/>“Are you sure?” Gaius asked.<br/><br/>“Yes,” she said firmly. “I don’t want to leave him alone like this.”<br/><br/>The words were those of a devoted lover, not one that had been cast aside only that afternoon. In one moment it was like all the pain she felt was forgotten and all she could think about was Arthur’s torment at being caught between his father, his kingdom and her.<br/><br/>Merlin stood beside her and tilted his head. “Are you sure Morgana won’t mind?”<br/><br/>She looked up at him and smiled. “Morgana doesn’t need me; she wouldn’t have asked for you if she did.”<br/><br/>“She needs both of us,” he replied.<br/><br/>“I’m the same to her as you are to Arthur,” Gwen told him. “We are their friends but we are still their servants, whereas to her you’re something… different.”<br/><br/>Merlin did not know what she meant by it although he agreed on some level. In some ways he saw Morgana as an ally as well as a friend. There was a connection between them that seemed to go beyond the one he felt with Gwen or even with Arthur. It had to be because they both had the gift.<br/><br/>He took one last look at Arthur before nodding and going to the door. “Okay, if you’re sure.”<br/><br/>“I’m positive,” she said.<br/><br/>Gwen watched him disappear out the door before she met eyes with Gaius. He looked between Arthur and Gwen curiously before he too nodded and walked out the door, closing it behind him. She was left alone with Arthur and there was nothing to do other than sit beside him and watch him.<br/><br/>Outside the room the pair once again exchanged looks.<br/><br/>“Do you think she’ll be alright?” Merlin asked.<br/><br/>“Gwen is old enough to decide for herself,” Gaius assured him. “It is not our place to interfere, and you are not Gwen’s keeper.”<br/><br/>The young man nodded. “I know but… I just don’t want to see her or Arthur getting hurt again.”<br/><br/>“You are not his keeper either,” Gaius told him.<br/><br/>Merlin chuckled. “Now, that’s where you’re wrong, Gaius. I am Arthur’s keeper. That’s my destiny, remember?”<br/><br/>Gaius hated the mention of destiny as it reminded him of the dragon. He had told him to drive a wedge between Merlin and Morgana, but here he was allowing his young protégé to meet with the woman who would supposedly do the damage in the middle of the night, something that would probably cause a stir, magic or not. Uther had been very interested in the pair before he had been distracted by Arthur’s affair with Gwen.<br/><br/>Merlin waved his hand in front of Gaius’s face. “Are you alright?”<br/><br/>Gaius came out of his daze, not realising how long he had been in it, and nodded. “Yes, I’m fine.”<br/><br/>Merlin was not convinced but decided to drop the subject. “I’m going to see Morgana now,” he declared.<br/><br/>“Fine,” Gaius said, despite his uncertainty. “I’ll go home.”<br/><br/>“Okay, don’t wait up because I might be a while,” Merlin told him.<br/><br/>Gaius watched Merlin go before he turned to head home. As he went he could not help but think about how active and troublesome the lives of the young were. They never seemed to stop, even at night. Merlin always seemed to have problems and issues to deal with whether it was Arthur and Gwen’s relationship or Morgana’s dreams.<br/><br/>Life seemed so much simpler when Gaius was young although he admittedly it probably wasn’t. He never dealt with the issues that Merlin did; back in those days magic was still used by many people. The Old Religion was still frowned upon by the New Religion kings and governors but it was not outlawed.<br/><br/>Furthermore there had never been anyone quite like Merlin.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Uther sat alone at his desk in the gloomy light of one candle shining of two drafted letters; one for the King of Orkney, and the other to the Queen of Orkney, his sister-in-law Anna.<br/><br/>The one that he wished to send to Lot was easy to write as it featured the typical formal jargon one would expect to read in a letter between monarchs. He spoke simply of war, asking how the campaign against Prince Claudius was progressing and asking whether he felt he would be needing assistance any time soon. It was really a subtle way for Uther to ascertain whether Camelot was at risk of being attacked by Claudius’s supporters or even Claudius himself.<br/><br/>In some ways Uther was feared Lot more than Claudius. In his eyes Claudius was just a foolish lower-prince of a tiny state within the Rheged area whose head had become too big for his crown. In comparison Lot was the most powerful king in the north, controlling a large area of Pictland. Moreover his younger brother Urien, who Rheged actually belonged to, lived in his brother’s influence. He was a force not to be reckoned with.<br/><br/>That was why he did not mention the snags that had cropped up in the marriage alliance. Lot had always been fowl tempered and unreasonable when caught in the wrong mood. In one of her letters Anna had joked that it was pity Uther and Lot could not marry each other, a joke Uther had not appreciated.<br/><br/>Despite being a powerful king Lot spent little of his time governing his kingdoms instead focusing in his infamously powerful and large army. The governing of the kingdoms he possessed he left almost entirely to Anna.<br/><br/>Uther shook his head over the letter he was drafting for Anna.<br/><br/>It was difficult to know the mind of Queen Anna despite the fact that Uther had known her longer than anyone. She was Igraine’s younger sister, the baby of the family who had been very naïve but intelligent with all the promise of being a queen one day. Now she was a queen she proved effective as a diplomat as well as a matriarch.<br/><br/>Uther had thought Anna liability when she was a child but now he relied on her to maintain the good relationship between Camelot and Orkney.<br/><br/>His letter to her was less formal and more frank. The ambassador had suggested only writing to her if ‘worst came to worst’ but he didn’t want to take any risks. He knew that if Arthur were determined enough he would have a fight on his hands.<br/><br/>If it came to ‘removing’ the ‘obstruction’ of the marriage between Arthur and Elaine then he knew he had to have Anna’s support; she had more allies than Uther did.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Merlin silently entered Morgana’s room.<br/><br/>For the first time she was not waiting by the door for him, to leap upon him just as he was about to touch the handle. He wasn’t sure whether this was a good thing or a bad thing. Either way he decided it had to be important.<br/><br/>Upon entering the room he saw her sitting on the case at the end of her bed stroking Gwen’s dog Fach. Her eyes were unblinking and she seemed to barely notice that he had entered the room.<br/><br/>“Morgana?” he called apprehensively.<br/><br/>Her head shot to look at him with genuine surprise. “I didn’t hear you come in,” she said.<br/><br/>“I tried to be quiet because I didn’t want that guard outside your room to see me,” he explained. “Gwen said you need to see me urgently; what’s wrong? Is it another dream?”<br/><br/>She stared at him. “Obviously.”<br/><br/>She patted the wood of the box she was sat upon for him to settle down next to her. Merlin obeyed and waited for her to explain what she had seen.<br/><br/>“Was it the same dream?” he asked.<br/><br/>“Yes,” she replied. “I saw the fire and blood again, and this time I swear I could feel the pain of hundreds and hundreds of men. I’m certain now this is about the conflict in Rheged—it will escalate into a war.”<br/><br/>“You’re positive?”<br/><br/>“I saw Uther again, but he wasn’t alone this time, he was with many kings from all over Albion,” she explained. “They were standing in the mist of the fire and battle, as if they were the ones allowing it.”<br/><br/>Merlin felt a lump in his throat. He hated the idea of wars and battle. Gaius said it was because it went against his nature. In comparison people like Arthur were built and equipped to fight in battles. Even then Arthur always said that while battles could be enjoyable, a war was a long and painful experience many wished to avoid.<br/><br/>He sighed, “There is nothing we can do about a full-scale war, Morgana. I mean, you and I—what are we? There is no way we could stop this war.”<br/><br/>“I know,” she agreed. “It’s like you said, what are we? I’m just a seer-witch-in-training and you’re just one powerful warlock.”<br/><br/>“Some how I don’t think we’re powerful enough to stop a massive army,” Merlin joked. “Let alone twenty or thirty armies.”<br/><br/>Morgana retorted. “I realise that.”<br/><br/>“Then what else do you want to tell me?” Merlin asked, sensing that she was agitated by his attempt to make light of the situation. “You wouldn’t have called me so urgently if that was all you had to say.”<br/><br/>At that moment Morgana grabbed Merlin’s hand and he felt the connection between them light up again. It had used to make him feel light-headed but now he was used to it. It gave him a pleasant and warm feeling.<br/><br/>She looked him dead in the eye and he almost found himself hypnotised by her light green eyes, penetrating him. “The girl I told you about?”<br/><br/>“The blonde girl in your dream?”<br/><br/>“I think I know who she is now,” Morgana said.<br/><br/>Merlin leant forward intently. “Who?”<br/><br/>“Elaine.”<br/><br/>He sat back again, taking in the short stab of information as if it had been long and complicated. “The Elaine that Arthur is getting betrothed to? His cousin?”<br/><br/>She nodded. “I didn’t recognise her at first because I haven’t seen her since she was fourteen. The girl I see in my dreams looks more like seventeen or eighteen, which is how old she is now…”<br/><br/>“Are you sure?”<br/><br/>“I’m as sure as I can be,” Morgana replied. “It is a dream after all; you have to allow for a certain margin of error. The girls looks like what Elaine might looks like having aged four years or so, that’s all.”<br/><br/>Merlin looked away and nodded. “Okay, and how does that help us?”<br/><br/>Morgana closed her eyes as if she was trying to remember something else that she had seen. Despite the fact that her dreams had a prophetic purpose there were still details that she would quickly forget upon waking. She knew they were still in her head—she just couldn’t recall them.<br/><br/>“I think I saw Gwen again, and Arthur, and…” Morgana muttered before she opened her eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry—when I woke up I could remember so much more but now… I can’t remember.”<br/><br/>Merlin shook his head. “No, it’s my fault. I took too long to get here.”<br/><br/>They sat in silence for a moment.<br/><br/>“I just wish that you could see inside my head,” Morgana confessed. “If I could show you what I saw, if you could see it as I see it then maybe…”<br/><br/>Merlin swallowed; whenever she mentioned getting inside her head, occasionally, he did just that. In that past he had frequently seen things that she probably did not want him to see and he was too embarrassed to admit to her that he had seen them.<br/><br/>He knew that he could get inside her head and that he could see her dream for himself but he was frightened of what he might see.<br/><br/>He let out a sigh and turned to face her. “Morgana.”<br/><br/>“Yes?” she said turning to face him too.<br/><br/>“I lied before,” he confessed reluctantly. “When I said that I couldn’t willingly go into someone’s mind and see his or her thoughts—I lied. I can, if I wanted to.”<br/><br/>She looked at him hopefully. “Could you see my dream?”<br/><br/>He shrugged. “I honestly don’t know because I was telling the truth when I said I could pop into people’s heads and see things whether I like it or not.<br/><br/>She nodded. “I see.”<br/><br/>Merlin blushed. “I’m worried that if I do go into your head I’ll—”<br/><br/>“—See something that you’d rather not?” she finished.<br/><br/>He nodded sheepishly. “But I could try, if you wanted me to.”<br/><br/>She tilted her head. “What if I were to think of what I did remember from the dream, would that help you into my thoughts?”<br/><br/>“It might…”<br/><br/>Morgana jumped to her feet and stood in front of Merlin, causing little Fach to jump to the floor and run for cover under the bed.<br/><br/>“Then try it,” she ordered him.<br/><br/>He stared at her. “Try it?”<br/><br/>“Yes,” she replied. “You might as well at least try.”<br/><br/>Merlin hesitated for a moment. He was still worried that he might do it wrong; he had read about how one was supposed to access information in people’s minds. There was a special way to go about it and one he had not quite mastered yet.<br/><br/>He got to his feet and stood in front of her.<br/><br/>“Please don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t work,” he asked her. “And if you think I’m accessing memories you want to keep hidden, try and block me out or… just say, alright?”<br/><br/>“I won’t and I will,” Morgana replied with her first smile of the evening. “It won’t be the first time you’ve seen some of my dirtier thoughts.”<br/><br/>Merlin tilted his head. “Well, don’t think about them now because that’ll kill this before we start.”<br/><br/>“If you say so,” she joked. “So, what do we need to do? Do you have to cast a spell or do we both have to do something or what…?”<br/><br/>Merlin seemed to ignore her questions as he placed his hands on either side of her face. The contact silenced Morgana immediately as she stared directly at Merlin, wondering what he was doing. They stood looking at each for a long moment before he awkwardly moved his hands away but maintained his eye contact.<br/><br/>“We,” he said clearing his throat, “we have to keep eye contact at all times.”<br/><br/>She nodded slowly.<br/><br/>“Just keep looking at me,” he told her.<br/><br/>“Okay.”<br/><br/>“Now, think of your dream.”<br/><br/>Morgana found it hard to picture the images in her head without closing her eyes but after a moment trying she managed to spin the things she remembered in a continuous loop in her mind.<br/><br/>Then her skin nearly leapt as Merlin slowly placed his hands upon her face again, his fingers lay across her temples. She continued to look into his eyes when she thought, for a moment, she saw a flash of light behind them.<br/><br/>“Your eyes…”<br/><br/>“Sorry?”<br/><br/>“Nothing,” she said, realising that talking would make it harder for him to concentrate.<br/><br/>The familiar surge of power rushed from him to her as it did when she held his hand. But this time it was different as rather than flowing through her veins it rushed straight into her head. The sensation nearly blinded her before she began to feel an odd and indescribable feeling tiptoe across her head.<br/><br/>“I can actually feel it,” she said with surprise. “I can actually feel you inside my head…”<br/><br/>“Does it hurt?” he asked, still trying to concentrate.<br/><br/>“No,” she smiled flirtatiously. “It tickles, actually. I like it.”<br/><br/>Merlin couldn’t help smiling too. “Stop it!”<br/><br/>“Am I distracting you?”<br/><br/>“I’m finding it hard to make a picture in my head,” he told her. “Don’t think about anything except the dream and just focus on me.”<br/><br/>Morgana tried to obey but it was difficult. Had it been any other man she might not have been fazed by looking into her eyes when he read her mind. She found it hard not to wonder whether Merlin also found it hard to concentrate. In many ways this was the most intimate they had ever been, more intimate than when they kissed.<br/><br/>“I see something,” he said finally.<br/><br/>“Thank goodness.”<br/><br/>“Stay focused,” he told her. “I might lose it… Wait!”<br/><br/>“What is it?” she asked.<br/><br/>“Put your hands to my temples and I’ll show you,” he told her. “I can see lots of different things but I need your help putting them together.”<br/><br/>Morgana awkwardly raised her hands towards his face, “Are you sure this will work?”<br/><br/>“No but it’s worth a go,” he joked.<br/><br/>As she placed her cold hands against his warm temples the shock of the connection nearly threw his mind off course. He managed to remain focused and the images of the dream passed between them. The first image that came up was the girl.<br/><br/>“Is that her?” Merlin asked as the picture became clear. The image was, indeed, that of a blonde girl about eighteen-years-old standing by a window. “This is Elaine?”<br/><br/>Morgana nodded. “I think so, like I said it could be what she looks like now. I haven’t seen her since she was a kid.”<br/><br/>“She’s pretty,” he remarked.<br/><br/>“Close your mouth!” she scolded playfully.<br/><br/>He smirked. “And you say she’s eighteen?”<br/><br/>“Eighteen or seventeen, yes, why?”<br/><br/>Merlin shook his head. “Nothing, it’s just… I don’t know. She looks like she’s that age but for some reason, I can’t tell you what, she feels…”<br/><br/>“What?”<br/><br/>“Older, somehow.”<br/><br/>Morgana wanted to tilt her head about Merlin’s hands held her straight. “Well, Elaine always looked mature for her age…”<br/><br/>“It’s not like that,” he said. “She looks the right age, it’s just a feeling I have…” There was a long moment of silence before Merlin rubbed it off. “Oh, it’s probably nothing.”<br/><br/>“Okay…”<br/><br/>“It’s nice to know what ‘the enemy’ looks like, though.”<br/><br/>“That’s not fair,” Morgana said. “Despite everything that’s happening Elaine is a very nice girl.”<br/><br/>“I was joking.”<br/><br/>“I know you were.”<br/><br/>There was another long pause as neither of them said anything. Then all of a sudden Merlin was taken aback by the images of fire and blood. The images set off the same sensations that Morgana described of blood and burning flesh.<br/><br/>Morgana gasped as the images were awakened to get as well. The emotion of it was so overpowering she nearly pulled away from Merlin’s gasp. He held her still and spoke softly.<br/><br/>“It’ll pass,” he told her. “We need to see the rest of the dream.”<br/><br/>She obeyed as if she were under a trace. The images moved from fire and blood to the sound of weapons clashing and horses riding. Suddenly, just as Merlin promised, the image ceased swiftly and moved along to the next moment.<br/><br/>Morgana heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”<br/><br/>Merlin smiled. “No problem.”<br/><br/>The next image they saw was Gwen. As Morgana had described before Merlin could see her riding on a horse along an unfamiliar rode. One thing Merlin noticed that he could not remember being mentioned before was that she was accompanied by a group of men.<br/><br/>“Where is she going?” Merlin said to himself.<br/><br/>Morgana said nothing as she wondered the same thing herself.<br/><br/>As the images were silent as they flowed through their heads. The only echo of sound was similar to that one felt when underwater.<br/><br/>The next thing they saw was Arthur who was also on horseback, riding away from the castle gates. Up until that point Morgana had always believed he was alone in this image, but Merlin held the thought in her mind. They continued to watch until he was in the middle of the forest, where he stopped. It was clear that there was someone else with him. Morgana focused her mind and saw the boy’s face; it was Merlin.<br/><br/>“That’s right!” she gasped. “You were there too—that’s the thing I wanted to tell you earlier.”<br/><br/>“It happens sometimes,” Merlin explained. “When a dream is so vivid it can be forgotten once you wake if you are distracted or sometimes you mix it up with real life…”<br/><br/>“Are you just making this up as you go along?”<br/><br/>“Of course I am,” he muttered comically.<br/><br/>In their minds they saw Arthur and Merlin stop in a clearing where someone was waiting for them.<br/><br/>Merlin scowled. “What are we <em>doing</em>?”<br/><br/>Merlin and Morgana tried to home in on what they saw but the image seemed to die on them before either could see how the third person was. The concentration caused their head to hurt as they tried to stay focused on the dream.<br/><br/>Abruptly, came a loud screech in Merlin’s head that cut right through his nerves. “Ow!” he cried out as he flinched away from Morgana, letting go and thus breaking the connection.<br/><br/>In that moment Morgana saw the flash of golden in her mind before she saw it, momentarily, glimmer in his eyes. She watched him bewildered, wondering what he had seen.<br/><br/>Merlin rubbed his own temples as if to regain his grip on reality. “Gods below, that <em>hurt</em>…” he muttered.<br/><br/>Morgana rushed forward to aid him. “Are you okay?”<br/><br/>The moment her hands such his hands he felt a hot, burning sensation merge from them. It was like the other times she touched him but at the same time different. The pain he felt seemed to die away seconds later and he finally was able to stand straight.<br/><br/>“I’m fine,” he finished muttered.<br/><br/>“What did you see, what happened?” she asked eagerly.<br/><br/>“I don’t know,” he groaned, not wanting to remember what had just happened. “It was like a harsh screech pounding through my mind. It completely blinded me.”<br/><br/>“I didn’t hear it…” Morgana said, confused. “I’ve never heard it in my dreams either.”<br/><br/>Merlin stopped rubbing his head. “Maybe something went wrong or… I don’t know.”<br/><br/>“Was it just a screech you heard?” Morgana asked.<br/><br/>He sat in silence for a moment before he answered. “I think I did see something else,” he replied. “I saw a tree.”<br/><br/>She tilted her head. “A tree?”<br/><br/>“I think it was an oak tree,” he finished. “Is that significant to you?”<br/><br/>Morgana shook her head. “No, it means nothing to me.”<br/><br/>Merlin sighed. “It’s probably me. I must have done something wrong while I was reading your dream…”<br/><br/>Morgana could feel the disappointment oozing off of him. She took his hand and led him back to the chest at the end of her bed where they sat down.<br/><br/>“On the bright side,” she went on. “At least you helped me remember what I wanted to tell you before.”<br/><br/>Merlin smiled. “True, although I’m more interested in knowing who that man in the woods was…”<br/><br/>“I might see more,” she pointed out. “I’m having these dreams frequently at the moment and I see something new every time. I’ll see who he is eventually, I’m sure of it.”<br/><br/>Merlin tilted his head and regarded her for a moment.<br/><br/>“That’s amazing,” he remarked. “I’m usually the one cheering you up and now, suddenly, our roles are reversed.”<br/><br/>Morgana grinned. “I’ve stolen your spunk.”<br/><br/>They both laughed at the suggestion although it made them both think. Merlin had spent the last ten minutes inside Morgana’s head and she, in a matter of speaking, had been inside his. What had passed between them just now took a huge amount of trust as Merlin could easily have abused his ability, but he did not.<br/><br/>“I can’t believe you were actually inside my head,” Morgana suddenly said.<br/><br/>“Yeah,” Merlin said distantly. “Gaius told me that centuries ago when the leaders of old religion were still in power they used to refer to it as ‘reading a person’s soul’.”<br/><br/>“It makes me wonder what it is that sends me these dreams,” she said.<br/><br/>“No one knows,” Merlin replied. “It could be that everything is predetermined so it’s already out there for people like you to pick up in your dreams.”<br/><br/>Morgana nodded. “I just wish I knew what it was telling me about Gwen and Arthur. I wouldn’t see these things if it wasn’t to try and do something…”<br/><br/>“Maybe…”<br/><br/>“Maybe, what?”<br/><br/>“Nothing,” he shrugged. “I was just thinking maybe sometimes people like you forecast things as well as receive warnings…”<br/><br/>Morgana couldn’t help smirking at his choice of words. There was a short pause as she looked at him, smiling. He noticed the pleased look on her face and he couldn’t help chuckling. “What is it?” he asked.<br/><br/>“I was just thinking what a gentleman you are,” she said. “Any other man would have forgotten about the dream and gone poking around my head for… other things.”<br/><br/>Merlin blushed, realising what she meant. “Oh, well,” he said awkwardly. “I don’t really like seeing the private thoughts of people.”<br/><br/>“That’s refreshing,” she said. “You’re part of a dying breed of men, Merlin.”<br/><br/>“If you say so,” Merlin smiled awkwardly. He decided to change the subject slightly as he remembered something Morgana had said earlier. “Did it really tickle?”<br/><br/>She blinked. “You mean when you were reading my thoughts?”<br/><br/>“Obviously.”<br/><br/>“Oh,” she said, smiling again. “Yes, it did. Like I said it was quite… nice. I liked it. It was quite amusing knowing that it was you, literally, searching through my mind.”<br/><br/>“Well,” Merlin said cheerfully. “If you ever forget anything just let me know and I’ll rummage around and see if I can find it for you…”<br/><br/>Morgana laughed at his typical play of wit, despite the fact Merlin often used it was talk his way out of awkward situations.<br/><br/>“Very droll, Merlin.”<br/><br/>He smiled. “Thank you.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>“I remember a moment like this before.”<br/><br/>Gwen looked away from the pitch black window and looked down to see Arthur looking at her with a faint smile. His voice was raspy from dryness and his eyes were squinting from tiredness but merely the sight of him sent a liquid warm feeling through her.<br/><br/>She smiled despite everything, “Which moment is that?”<br/><br/>“After I was bitten by the questing beast,” he replied. “You nursed me, kept me comfortable and spoke to me.”<br/><br/>“It seems so long ago,” Gwen said distantly.<br/><br/>“So does the last time I spoke to you,” Arthur said. “But it was only yesterday.”<br/><br/>Gwen sighed. “Actually, it was the day before yesterday; it’s gone midnight.”<br/><br/>Arthur rubbed his eyes. “I feel like I’ve missed a whole day! I suppose it’s too much to hope that my engagement to Elaine was just a bad dream and I’ve just awoken from near-death again?”<br/><br/>She tilted her head and nodded. “I’m afraid so.”<br/><br/>Arthur looked down at the shoulder where the questing beast’s teeth marks still scared him and sighed. “Alas, you are right! This is an old wound.”<br/><br/>Gwen looked at the old and ugly scar that she knew so well. She had tended to it when he was wounded; cleaned it when it began to heal, and run her lips along the jagged marks in the skin as she explored it after they became lovers. All these things seemed so long ago when, in retrospect, they were not.<br/><br/>“My head hurts,” he suddenly announced.<br/><br/>“You drank an awful lot according to Merlin.”<br/><br/>“And I feel so dry,” he added.<br/><br/>Gwen sighed. “I’ll get you some water.”<br/><br/>Arthur’s eyes watched her as she turned to pour some water for him. He pulled himself to sit up as she returned to his bedside. She sat on the side of the bed and held the cup out for him. Instead of taking the cup he grasped her wrist, brought it to his mouth and he gulped down the water.<br/><br/>Gwen felt her breath quiver as he drank the cup dry and gasped a quenched breath. It was just hours ago that she was terrified to face him. The reaction he got out of her just by holding her wrist as he drank reminded her why; he only had to do something tiny to rope her in.<br/><br/>He let her wrist go and she looked at the cup.<br/><br/>“You really are thirsty,” she remarked. “Do you want any more?”<br/><br/>“I’m fine,” he said simply.<br/><br/>They stared at each other not knowing what to say. It was only the knowledge of what had happened over the last forty-eight hours that stopped them throwing their arms around each other.<br/><br/>Gwen put the cup down and forced another smile. “Do you need anything else—?”<br/><br/>“Guinevere!”<br/><br/>She was silenced immediately by the annunciation of her name in the special way that only Arthur seemed to know. He looked at her as if to scold her but truth was he was angry with himself.<br/><br/>“I’m sorry,” Gwen finally said.<br/><br/>“For what?” Arthur asked. “I’m the one who should be sorry.”<br/><br/>She shook her head. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”<br/><br/>“Yes I do,” he replied. “My father is the cause of several reasons why I should be sorry.”<br/><br/>Gwen chuckled nervously. “With respect I’m used to your father messing around with my life, and none of us can choose who are parents are.”<br/><br/>“I wouldn’t blame you for hating my father,” Arthur sighed.<br/><br/>Gwen was very careful choosing her words. “I don’t hate him,” she replied. “I think nothing of him, really. I feel nothing. I don’t like to say it as he is your father but…”<br/><br/>“I’m not defending him,” Arthur said solemnly.<br/><br/>Gwen nodded. “I’m sure he thinks he is doing what is best for Camelot.”<br/><br/>“I don’t see how,” Arthur groaned.<br/><br/>“Neither can I but we’re bias,” she said.<br/><br/>Gwen smiled and gingerly placed her hand on Arthur’s hand. He felt assured by her motion and clasped her hand between both of his. It sent a spike of fire through her and she tried to stay focused.<br/><br/>“I’m sorry that Merlin yelled at you,” she finally said.<br/><br/>Arthur shook his head. “He’s already apologised… I think. Either way he’s not angry with me any more.”<br/><br/>“I should have kept it to myself,” she went on. “I was just that he was there just as that secretary was leaving and…”<br/><br/>“I’d have done the same,” Arthur told her. “When I find out which secretary it was that sent you the money I’ll give him taste of what I got.”<br/><br/>Gwen shook her head and smiled. “He was just following orders; when the king tells you to do something you do it.”<br/><br/>Arthur tightened his hold on Gwen’s hand and ran his thumb over her knuckles. She took a deep breath as she debated whether to allow it or put a stop to it. Uther had tried to pay her off and Arthur was technically engaged to another woman. She knew she shouldn’t even be there now, but every fibre of her body wanted to stay.<br/><br/>“I can’t do this,” Arthur suddenly said.<br/><br/>She looked at him, still distracted by his hand. “Can’t do what?”<br/><br/>“I can’t do anything,” he declared with a shudder of laughter. “I’ve been without you for forty-eight hours and I ended up drinking myself into a stupor and being carried home by my idiotic manservant.”<br/><br/>Gwen braced herself. “I came as a shock to both of us.”<br/><br/>“It’s more than that,” he told her.<br/><br/>He pulled himself to sit up until he was eye to eye with her. She could feel her breath brushing her skin and his eyes penetrating her. Together with his still tight hold on her hands she had to resist every urge to just kiss him.<br/><br/>“I feel as if…” Arthur went on before he finished and shook his head. “I’m sorry, you know how bad I am with words.”<br/><br/>Gwen could not help a loving smile as she watched her former lover trip over his words; it reminded her of how alike they could be at times. She waited as he gathered his thought and attempted once again to speak.<br/><br/>“I feel as if I’ve been living in limbo,” he finally said as he struggled shyly to put his feelings into words. “I never tell you often enough just how much I—well, how much I rely on you… how much I…”<br/><br/>Gwen braced herself again, waiting for him to once again falter in his words. In many ways she preferred that he found describing his feelings so difficult. He had had such a cold upbringing that were he to say them freely she would know they were lies. He spoke as if he were terrified she might rebuff him or want something in return, like everyone else did.<br/><br/>“I know,” she said. “I know what you mean…”<br/><br/>“But I need to say it more!” he said firmly. His eyes were determined but, as expected, he looked down timidly as he finally said the words. “I love you.”<br/><br/>The words felt like a wonderful cut upon her heart. “You know I love you too,” she replied quietly.<br/><br/>He looked at her and once again she was taken in by the torment in his eyes; she’d have done anything to soothe it.<br/><br/>“I’m sorry I don’t say it more often,” he told her. “I’m sorry I can never look you in the eyes when I say it and when I do look at you, you aren’t looking at me. It’s my fault, and I’m sorry for it.”<br/><br/>“I wouldn’t believe you said it too easily,” Gwen said. “I know what you’re like.”<br/><br/>Arthur closed his eyes and shook his head. It seemed no matter how hard he tried he could never speak honestly without behaving like child caught in the act of doing something bad. In spite of all of that he still felt free when he was with her. Sometimes he felt she was the only one who made him truly happy.<br/><br/>He leant forward and rested his head against Gwen’s shoulder, burying his face in the curve of her neck. Intuitively she began to run her hand through his hair as she felt his warm breath scolding her skin. Instinctively he moved one of his hands to hold her waist and pressed his lips against her collarbone. Her body tensed and her mind went blank.<br/><br/>“Don’t,” she whispered reluctantly.<br/><br/>Arthur immediately moved back and looked away. “Sorry.”<br/><br/>Gwen swallowed. “You know I’d deny you nothing, and in this moment, I’d deny myself nothing either.”<br/><br/>“I know.”<br/><br/>“I’m not a fool,” she went on, every word bitter in her mouth. “I knew when we became lovers all I could ever hope to be was your mistress, but now you’re engaged to someone else…”<br/><br/>“I’m not engaged yet,” Arthur stated quickly. “The betrothal between Elaine and I is still under negotiation.”<br/><br/>“But you will marry her,” Gwen said. “It is unfair to her if you carry on with me; it would be humiliating for her.”<br/><br/>“I don’t care about that,” Arthur said. “I don’t see how it is better for me to grit my teeth and bear marriage with her while all the time I’m thinking of you.”<br/><br/>Gwen looked away. “You might not have to grit your teeth; she is supposed to be the most beautiful woman in the world.”<br/><br/>At that moment Gwen felt Arthur’s had reach over to cup her cheek. She looked at him again as he spoke firmly; “Any amount of beauty is immaterial if she isn’t you.”<br/><br/>“Either way,” Gwen said as she tried not to let Arthur’s touch distract her. “It is not fair to her; she will one day be queen here and I don’t want to upset the future queen.”<br/><br/>It was all about Elaine. Gwen kept thinking how it wouldn’t be fair to her to continue her relationship with Arthur. She thought how disgusted she would feel if she were married and found her husband had a mistress. However, rather guiltily, Gwen felt no concern for her own reputation but rather bitterness at that prospect of having to ‘share’ Arthur.<br/><br/>“There is one way we can avoid upsetting her with our relationship,” Arthur said, taking his hand away from Gwen’s face. “I just won’t marry her.”<br/><br/>Gwen stared at him; part of her was bewildered that he had even suggested it was possible but another part wondered if it <em>was</em> possible.<br/><br/>“You can’t do that,” she finally said.<br/><br/>“Why not?” he asked, no sense of humour in his voice. “My father can’t force me to marry her if I refuse.”<br/><br/>“Of course he can force you!”<br/><br/>“Then he would have to drag me down the aisle,” Arthur declared. “He won’t get me there any other way.”<br/><br/>Gwen thought he had to be going mad. “Elaine is the daughter of King Lot and your aunt Anna. She is a <em>princess</em>; you can’t treat her as if she were no one!”<br/><br/>“I don’t think she’d be that bothered,” Arthur said. “I can’t see her getting excited at the prospect of marrying <em>me</em>.”<br/><br/>“I was thinking of her father,” Gwen protested. “You’d… you’d run the risk of angering the most powerful king in the north of Albion!”<br/><br/>Arthur shook his head. “There is a war about to break out <em>all over</em> Albion and we’ll have to fight either way; I have to believe that Lot is more concerned about Prince Claudius than he is about me.”<br/><br/>“And what about your aunt Anna?” Gwen questioned sceptically. “She is probably the most powerful woman <em>in all of Albion</em>.”<br/><br/>“Royal engagements fall through all the time,” Arthur told her. “That’s how <em>I</em> got landed with Elaine. My aunt will be used to this and I wouldn’t be surprised if this whole thing was just down to my father and Lot…”<br/><br/>Gwen could not bring herself to believe it was as easy as that. The whole purpose of the marriage was to reinforce the alliance between Camelot and Orkney. Uther would not have sought the match if he felt they did not need it. Even if they didn’t need it, Arthur would have to get married someday. Gwen realised that, at the end of the day, one princess was no more different from another.<br/><br/>“Your father wants you to marry Elaine, and for the good of Camelot you must do what is best,” Gwen said reluctantly, against all her desires.<br/><br/>Arthur shook his head. He had always had to grit his teeth and bear things he disagreed with, but this time some felt innately wrong and it wasn’t just his passions ruling him. He could not help feeling that marriage to Elaine would open a Pandora’s box of trouble for Camelot in the future.<br/><br/>“The last thing I want to do is pressure you into something you don’t want to do,” he said quietly as he lay back. “I once said that the only thing that made us impossible was belief that it was impossible, but if you want to end it now then we’ll end it now. I won’t lie, it’ll be hard… but I promise I won’t bother you.”<br/><br/>Gwen said nothing; she was too distracted by the tearing feeling in her chest. Arthur could tell he was making her feel worse so he spoke up again.<br/><br/>“You should go,” he told her, trying to sound positive but failing miserably; she looked so sad. “I mean it, go. I’ll be fine. It’s not like this is my first hangover so there’s no need to worry about me. I’m fine—”<br/><br/>Arthur was immediately silenced by Gwen’s mouth pressed against his own. She found herself no longer caring about the barriers. In a moment of utter hopelessness it took both of them by complete surprise. He had missed the sweet pleasure of her lips just as much as she seemed to have missed his.<br/><br/>They held each other close for the few seconds it took for Gwen to break the kiss. As she did she laughed. “You need to do something about your breath.”<br/><br/>Arthur chuckled, “I was drinking ale.”<br/><br/>“You must have drunk your weight in it,” she remarked.<br/><br/>“I must have done,” he informed her in an amused voice. “It’ll probably take a while for the full effects to run their course.”<br/><br/>Gwen loosened her hold on him and tilted her head. “That’s a good point,” she said unconvinced. “I suppose I should stay here and make sure you’re alright?”<br/><br/>Arthur tilted his head too. “If you wouldn’t mind.”<br/><br/>Gwen leant forward to kiss him again but just as their lips neared to meet her hand snaked up and she laid two fingers on his lips. “I’ll stay with you,” she said with a minx smile, “but that’s all you’re getting out of me. Tonight, in any case.”<br/><br/>The prince sighed, lay back against his pillows and looked at her. “It wasn’t just all talk, you know.”<br/><br/>“What wasn’t just talk?”<br/><br/>“What I said about Elaine—”<br/><br/>“Let’s,” Gwen said firmly, not wanting to return to the subject. “Let’s not talk about that now. It’s late. It’s better to talk about it when you’re… sober.”<br/><br/>It was a subject Gwen wanted to avoid for now. On the one hand she wanted to keep the ‘honour’ she still had intact but on the other hand she couldn’t think what she was maintaining it for. It had been for marriage and children, but now the idea of such a simple life rarely occurred to her. She had wanted a family but she also wanted Arthur, and could not have both.<br/><br/>There were many aspects of Gwen’s life before that had changed. She was no longer as naïve as she had been and she no longer felt she could live the simple boring life once assured to her. She was now faced with another question; after tonight what would she do then?<br/><br/>“Are you just going to sit there staring at me?” Arthur muttered.<br/><br/>Gwen didn’t understand what he meant until he shifted over on the bed to make room for her beside him. She smiled and carefully lay down beside him before his arm curling around her entailed her. Neither of them said anything; they just lay in silence on the verge of falling asleep and nothing could have been more pleasant at that moment.<br/><br/>That was when Gwen knew this was where she belonged.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>As Gaius reached home he once again began to wonder about the dragon’s warnings. In the past Gaius had remembered the warnings but never actively followed them. The trouble was that from the moment the dragon was imprisoned below the castle he had been nothing by trouble between his ability to get under people’s skin and his amusement at occurrence of miraculous births.<br/><br/>But the dragon had so far been correct about Arthur and Gwen, so he could be right about Merlin and Morgana; he almost certainly <em>was</em> right.<br/><br/>Gaius felt that familiar feeling of sickly fear rise in him as he began to imagine the terrible outcomes the dragon could be suggesting.<br/><br/>Either way the dragon seemed to believe that Morgana was going to ‘go to the bad’ despite the fact she never been particularly cruel or unkind. But then again she could still change. Gaius knew from watching Nimueh that someone could become corrupted.<br/><br/>The dragon had mentioned ‘the invincible spell’ and how Morgana should never gain knowledge of it. From what Merlin said the idea of her mastering the spell was ridiculous but if he kept teaching her she would ultimately become more versed in enchantments.<br/><br/>Living with Merlin had almost caused Gaius to forget that even simple spells needed to be perfected. Although Merlin found new spells difficult he managed to perfect spells that would take ordinary warlocks and witches like Morgana months or years to get half right.<br/><br/>There was a chance that Merlin could perfect ‘The Invincible Spell’, and if Morgana became strong enough under his guidance, so could she.<br/><br/>Gaius went into Merlin’s room to find his spellbook.<br/><br/>He did not want to believe that someone was either innately good or bad but he would not object to the idea that someone could be <em>ultimately</em> evil especially if they had the personality for it. Nimueh had and, although he hated to admit it, Morgana had the potential.<br/><br/>The dragon had said, when she was a young girl that he should keep an eye on her. One comfort to him was that Merlin did not seem phased by grudges, hate or even power. He just got on and did what he needed to. Gaius hoped that this would ultimately keep Morgana on the right path.<br/><br/>“Nonetheless,” he said to himself as he opened the book and pulled apart the two pages that cloaked the enchantment. “It is better to be safe than sorry.”<br/><br/>Gaius knew it was not enough to depend on Merlin keeping the spell secret. He knew that if things continued the way they did Merlin would eventually come to trust and tell Morgana about the spell. Even if there was the slightest chance that Morgana could use the spell against Merlin one day, Gaius would do everything he could to avoid it.<br/><br/>The parchment itself was indestructible, so Gaius decided to hide somewhere Merlin and Morgana would never think to look for it. He took down one of his obscure books of physiology on one of the top shelves. The mere sight of the books gave all four of the youngsters a funny turn so there was little chance Merlin would find it there.<br/><br/>Once the job was done Gaius sat down and wondered whether it would be enough. He doubted it, but at least he had done all he could. There was little else that could be done to a spell that was invincible in every way.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Merlin did not return home until the early hours of the morning. Gaius lay in bed trying to get to sleep when he heard the front door open and his charge sneak in carefully. Gaius decided to pretend to be asleep and ask Merlin what had taken him so long to get home in the morning. However Merlin tripped over a chair and then banged into the table creating a great clash that Gaius could not ignore.<br/><br/>He swiftly sat up and lit the candle close to his bedside illuminating Merlin crouched on the floor rubbing his knee. It took him a while to notice that Fach was with him.<br/><br/>Gaius rolled his eyes. “What time do you call this?”<br/><br/>Merlin blinked. “I think it’s the fourth hour…”<br/><br/>“Exactly, you should be in bed,” Gaius snapped. “And what is she doing here?”<br/><br/>“When Morgana sent Gwen to find me she had to leave her behind in her chambers, and I told Morgana I would look after her until morning,” Merlin said awkwardly gathering the little dog into his arms.<br/><br/>“Did you?” Gaius scowled.<br/><br/>“Yes.” The young warlock sheepishly got to his feet and folded his arms. “I’m sorry.”<br/><br/>The old man glanced at him coolly before he used the candle to light several other candles. Once that was done he moved to pick up the chair Merlin had crashed into and sat down in it. He sat with his own arms folded and waited for Merlin to explain what had taken him so long, although he had a few ideas.<br/><br/>“Never mind Fach,” Gaius finally said in the tone of a dictatorial parent. “Why were you gone so long?”<br/><br/>“I was just helping Morgana,” Merlin said quietly.<br/><br/>“And really was it so urgent that you couldn’t leave it until morning?” Gaius asked.<br/><br/>“She said it was important,” Merlin protested. “And I agree with her.”<br/><br/>Gaius sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Did she have another dream?”<br/><br/>“Yes,” Merlin said. “There were a few new things that she saw.”<br/><br/>“And she just had to tell you?”<br/><br/>Merlin stared at him; the piercing and scolding look that Gaius was giving him seemed to be mentally extracting information from Merlin’s ever-running mouth. The young warlock didn’t know how his mentor would react to knowing he had used his abilities to read Morgana’s mind and see her dream. Actually, Merlin <em>knew</em> that Gaius would be furious, so he tried to avoid answering.<br/><br/>“Well,” he finally said, “you know what she’s like… mountains out of molehills, and all that.”<br/><br/>Gaius continued to stare him down. “Yes, I do know her, Merlin. But you just said that <em>you</em> thought it was important too.”<br/><br/>Merlin blushed. “Did I? Oh, yes, well to me. It might mean nothing to you…”<br/><br/>“Try me.”<br/><br/>The two of them remained silent for a while as Gaius waited for Merlin to talk and Merlin wondered whether he should tell. The entire thing disappointed Gaius. It seemed now he had Morgana to talk to Merlin had a secret life that he shared with no one but her, and Gaius found himself worrying over what passed between them and whether it put Merlin in any danger.<br/><br/>“You used to confide in me,” Gaius said quietly. “I would understand if it was something personal to you but if it is important I’d rather know. I’d hate to think that you could be in danger and I’d know nothing about it.<br/><br/>Merlin nodded, knowing that Gaius was right. Deep down he had wanted to tell Gaius but had been uncertain whether it was for the best or how to explain what he had seen.<br/><br/>“Morgana told me that she had seen things that she couldn’t recall properly when she was awake,” Merlin began to explain. “The only thing she could tell me is that she saw Elaine in her dream.”<br/><br/>“I see.”<br/><br/>The young man swallowed, reluctant to reveal the next part. “In order to try and see what else she had dreamt I used my powers to read her mind a view the dream for myself,” Merlin confessed.<br/><br/>Gaius groaned, “Oh, Merlin!”<br/><br/>“That’s why I didn’t want to tell you,” Merlin admitted. “I knew you’d be angry.”<br/><br/>“It’s bad enough that you keep popping into people’s heads whether you like it or not without you going in there voluntarily,” Gaius said.<br/><br/>“I know, but all I’ve been hearing about from her is about that dream” he explained. “I wanted to see exactly what she was seeing because I thought it would help me understand better…”<br/><br/>“And did it?”<br/><br/>“It did in some ways,” he replied. “In other ways it just confused me more…”<br/><br/>Gaius leant forward, intrigued by the tone of Merlin’s voice as he spoke. It was more than just confusion; he was hiding something else.<br/><br/>“In the dream she saw and Arthur and I in the forest somewhere, meeting someone,” Merlin muttered quietly. “I tried to see who it was but as I did I heard this loud… <em>screeching</em>. I felt as if my temples were going to split!”<br/><br/>Gaius nodded. “If you saw yourself in Morgana’s dream then your own mind probably tried to lock you out.”<br/><br/>“Why’s that?” Merlin asked curiously.<br/><br/>“Well,” the old man explained. “I suppose the best way to describe it is as a sort of defence mechanism; the image of you and Arthur in the woods meeting this person is the future and no one can see their own future.”<br/><br/>Merlin scowled. “What, no one?”<br/><br/>Gaius nodded. “For example Morgana may have dreams about what will happen to other people but never about her direct personal future. It is possible that the same principle applies to your seeing yourself in her dream.”<br/><br/>Merlin nodded too. It made sense to him that no one could see their own future, only the future of other people. If someone could see their own future they might try to avoid it, which meant avoiding destiny. At the same time they might strive for it, resulting in unacceptable behaviour to achieve it. The most obvious reason for why no one could see his or her own future was that it could drive the most levelheaded man mad.<br/><br/>“Gaius,” he asked, changing the subject slightly. “Do you think that everything is predetermined?”<br/><br/>Gaius didn’t know how to answer that question. “That’s a very poignant philosophical question, Merlin. One that is a little too hard for first thing in the morning.”<br/><br/>“No, I just…” the young man began. “It’s just something Morgana asked me; she said she wondered what sent her the dreams she had, and I said maybe everything is predetermined. I just wondered whether you agreed, or thought it was something else.”<br/><br/>Gaius sighed. “I have never really thought about it Merlin. It’s just like when you asked me whether I believed in destiny; I think it affects people like you more than me.”<br/><br/>“So, where does Morgana get her dreams from?” Merlin asked. “You’re a scientist, you must have an idea.”<br/><br/>Gaius smiled, “The thing about magic is that it is supernatural, ergo, it cannot be explained with science.”<br/><br/>“Science isn’t that much different from magic,” Merlin argued.<br/><br/>“Don’t be silly, Merlin.”<br/><br/>“I’m not being silly!” the young man chuckled. “I mean, it’s the same principles because you need ingredients to make some spells, the only difference is that science counts the odds while magic uses words.”<br/><br/>Gaius sighed, “Oh Merlin, as I say it is far too early in the morning for a discussion like this.”<br/><br/>Merlin shook his head and smiled. It was only a few moments ago that Gaius <em>wanted</em> him to talk but now he wanted him to shut up and go to bed. It seemed he was only curious when it came to knowing what he and Morgana got up to when his back was turned.<br/><br/>He started to feel tired also so Merlin decided to turn in for bed; it would only be a few hours before he would have to get up again. He was back to being Arthur’s servant and he would also have to take Fach back to her mistress.<br/><br/>“Come Fach!” he called the little dog. “You can sleep in my room, out of Gaius’s way.”<br/><br/>“Good idea!” the old man retorted over his shoulder. “If I catch her anywhere near my books…”<br/><br/>“Gwen would never forgive you!” Merlin finished.<br/><br/>“Just keep her away from anything she might be tempted to chew.”<br/><br/>Gaius blew the candles out again as Merlin closed his bedroom door. Once the room had fallen silent he lay back and tried once again to get to sleep. He considered whether he should tell Merlin had he had hidden the spell in case he realised it was missing later and panicked. Then he realised that would defeat the object of hiding it in the first place.<br/><br/>He sighed and rolled onto his side; he would keep it secret. Even if Merlin realised the spell was gone, he would say nothing. All that mattered was that he knew where it was. Maybe he would pretend anger or maybe he would make up an excuse for how the spell could do a moonlight flit. Either way, he intended to make sure the ‘invincible spell’ remained a mystery.<br/><br/>He did it before with Nimueh and he could do it again with Merlin, and more specifically, with Morgana.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Gwen awoke while it was still dark just as she was accustomed to. It took her a while to realise she was in Arthur’s room and why she was there. The last few days were like a blur in her mind and she wondered for a moment whether they really had all been a bad dream. She wished they were.<br/><br/>Her head was cushioned by Arthur’s shoulder and his arm was enveloped around her just as it had when she had fallen asleep. She glanced up at his face to see he was still fast asleep denoted by his stillness and the small murmur of a snore.<br/><br/>Gwen felt that she should get up but Arthur’s own warmth made her feel drowsy and she was still fully clothed in her dress that was twisted around both their legs. In the end she laid her head down again deciding it was too much work to get up now. If she did she would have to wake up Arthur.<br/><br/>With her eyes closed she began to think about the events of the previous night. It seemed dream-like in her memories. Many of the things that Arthur had said Gwen found hard to take into reality. He had said that his father would have to drag him down the aisle to marry Elaine. The image of Arthur with a sword pointed at his back sprang to her mind, despite everything, made her chuckle a little. That he would actually put up a fight to resist marriage with Elaine like that made her feel rather sensual.<br/><br/>Gwen had never been one to indulge in fantasies but even she couldn’t help herself; her whole life felt like a fantasy.<br/><br/>She draped her arm across his chest and sighed. Now she was confronted with the prospect giving up or sharing him with Elaine she felt herself becoming slightly possessive. She knew she had no right to be; if, or rather when, he married Elaine she would be his wife while Gwen would only be his mistress. Elaine was the one who would have all the rights.<br/><br/>Gwen had tried to resist falling into the role of mistress, but an innate feeling inside her told her it was wrong. She had tried to convince herself not to be taken in by Arthur’s hopes to ‘jilting’ Elaine in her favour, but the same innate feeling told her it was right.<br/><br/>It wasn’t just love as Gwen was smart enough to work with her passion rather than give in to it. She literally felt that she belonged at Arthur’s side, like something was binding them together, like destiny, and that it was her natural place. It seemed ridiculous for a handmaiden to say that but for her (and him) it was real and true.<br/><br/>Gwen opened her eyes again. More time had passed than she expected. She must have fallen back to sleep as the sun was starting to rise over Camelot and light was crawling in through the windows.<br/><br/>She gave a delightful moan as she automatically stretched her arms and her entire body tensed against lazy slumber. She would have been content to lie there forever had she not a care in the world. However, the sun was coming up and once dawn finally broke she would have to get up and face another day.<br/><br/>Arthur stirred beside her and drowsily turned his head and lifted it slightly to make sure she was still there. Upon seeing her large dark eyes looking back at him his head crashed against the pillow and he sighed.<br/><br/>“I’ve never seen you wake up,” he remarked suddenly.<br/><br/>Gwen rolled onto her side and tucked her hand under the pillow to prop herself up. “How do you mean?” she asked. “You always seemed to be awake whenever I got up. I always thought you were just teasing me by pretending to be asleep.”<br/><br/>“When you slipped out of bed, yes, I wake up,” Arthur replied. He stared at the canopy above his head while he thought. “I’d feel as if I had just nodded off and then, suddenly, you try to slip away from me without waking me...”<br/><br/>“Only out of courtesy,” Gwen said with a smile.<br/><br/>“Oh I know that!” he said, breaking into a smile too. “You’re the queen of good manners. I was just thinking of how every time you tried to sneak away I always woke up.”<br/><br/>Gwen laid a hand on his chest. “I’m probably just clumsy.”<br/><br/>He turned his head to look at her. “Or maybe I just don’t want you to leave...”<br/><br/>There was a long pause as they looked at each other. Eventually Gwen’s eyes glanced down from lack of knowing what to say. Sometimes the love she felt for him left her speechless and it was the same, if not more so, for the overwhelming passion she felt for him.<br/><br/>Gwen’s eyes met his again as Arthur reached over to move a strand of hair that had fallen over her face. He always felt that when her hair was loose it seemed to sprawl out everywhere like something alive, like it was its own being. Gwen responded by brushing her hand through Arthur’s own hair; she always loved how messy it looked in the morning. It was always like that, whether they had made love or not. These were tiny little details they had noticed and loved about each other that showed the depth of their intimacy; they were details no one else had ever seen and that only lovers knew.<br/><br/>“You’re very beautiful,” he suddenly said. It had been the voice in his head thinking it and in his daze he had said aloud.<br/><br/>Gwen smiled contently and continued caressing his face. “Thank you, so are you.”<br/><br/>Arthur regarded her for a moment before he changed the subject entirely back to the ones of last night. “I won’t do it, you know,” he told her again. “I’ve had all night to sleep on it and I still think I’m right.”<br/><br/>“About?” Gwen asked.<br/><br/>“This whole scheme of my father’s,” he reminded her. “I still think it is all wrong, and now I’ve had a chance to sleep on it all I can think of is the trouble it will cause.”<br/><br/>Gwen sighed and sat up. “You would look for the negatives; you’re blinded to all the positives.”<br/><br/>He sat up too. “I tried—God knows it—I <em>tried</em> to find the good things that my father seems to see but I can’t. I’ll go to him first chance I can and tell him I won’t marry Elaine.”<br/><br/>“You must still be a little drunk.”<br/><br/>Gwen was trying to be the responsible thinker. The truth was her own desires were starting to get the best of her too. She didn’t want Arthur to do something he would regret, something stupid, something that might damage Camelot in the long run. In the end she played the only card she could.<br/><br/>“Elaine is a princess,” she said. “And you are a prince; you’re supposed to marry and have heirs so that the family line continues. Elaine will probably have many children.”<br/><br/>Arthur remained silent for a moment, as if considering what Gwen had said. Eventually he turned to her and said, “There is no such thing as an ideal bride. Just because someone is a princess doesn’t make her a suitable queen or mother. Besides, a king’s duty should be to his kingdom, not just to keeping his line going. Elaine is nothing special...”<br/><br/>“She <em>is</em> your cousin...” Gwen protested.<br/><br/>Arthur had had enough; “Then what would you have me do?” he shouted back at her. “Would you have me to go through with this marriage to Elaine? Do you <em>want</em> me to marry her?”<br/><br/>“You don’t need to shout!” she raised her voice.<br/><br/>“For God’s sake,” he shouted. “Guinevere, stop twittering around the subject and tell me the truth!”<br/><br/>“The truth about <em>what</em>?” she snapped back. “I’m not twittering about anything...”<br/><br/>“Yes, you are!” he argued back. “You spend your whole time twittering and backtracking and trying to avoid being selfish. Maybe you should just take five minutes to consider that neither of us really gives a damn about Elaine’s feelings...”<br/><br/>“That’s not fair!”<br/><br/>“What isn’t fair?” he asked. “That we don’t give a damn about Elaine? We don’t. Not really, let’s be honest.”<br/><br/>“It’s not about ‘giving a damn’” Gwen protested. “It’s the <em>guilt</em>.”<br/><br/>“She is my cousin and I’m fond of her for that, but I don’t care what she’d think about ‘being cast aside for a handmaiden’. I don’t see why the title of ‘princess’ automatically means she’s worth more than you...”<br/><br/>“Her father is a king,” Gwen replied with a hint of obviousness in her voice. “Mine was a blacksmith; the price on her head is clearly <em>worth more</em>.”<br/><br/>“A million Elaines wouldn’t nearly cover the value I hold you in,” he told her. He rubbed his face, irritated, before he went on. “The problem is that you always undervalue yourself.”<br/><br/>Gwen moved to speak but stopped. She wondered if anyone could hear them through the walls. She got to her feet and stood at the end of the bed, looking at where he still sat. It was a case of choosing the right words, tragically in a moment when Arthur didn’t want to hear ‘the right words.’<br/><br/>“I just,” she began, faltered, and tried again in a more confident tone. “I just want you to do what is <em>right</em>...”<br/><br/>“And I’m <em>doing</em> that,” he strained. “I know you want me to do what’s right, not just by you and me but for Camelot. It’s what we both want. <em>That’s what I’m doing</em>. I’m not blindly clutching for excuses to feed my father. I know you feel the same way—tell me you don’t.”<br/><br/>Gwen swallowed. “You know I do.”<br/><br/>“Then to hell with those pathetic arguments my father is going to throw at me,” he snapped. “<em>I’ll</em> think about what’s right. I want to know what <em>you</em> think and what <em>you</em> want, honestly and truly.”<br/><br/>“Honestly and truly?” she whispered.<br/><br/>“Yes.”<br/><br/>Gwen nodded and turned around to face him. At his order she forgot about her moral arguments and decided to say exactly what she thought and how she felt. Amazingly, she surprised even herself with what she said.<br/><br/>“Honestly,” she began. “I envy her. I envy her and I hate her for no other reason than that she’ll marry you. I’d begrudge anyone that honour. I hate that <em>I’m</em> the one who will be forced to either give up on you or share you when I’m the one who loves you.”<br/><br/>Arthur looked at her. At his order she had forgotten about her moral arguments and decided to say <em>exactly</em> what she thought and how she felt. It surprised both of them just how honest she was being.<br/><br/>“I know it is selfish of me to feel like this,” she continued. “But deep down I know that I would be happiest, even if I could only be your mistress, as long as I didn’t have to share your love with someone else.”<br/><br/>There was a long pause as Arthur tried to take in what he had heard. Gwen watched him churn over what she had said and she instantly regretted it. But had asked for it, practically <em>begged</em> her for it.<br/><br/>“Happy now?” was all she could muster.<br/><br/>Arthur pulled himself to the end of the bed and sat opposite her, looking up at her face. “Now, tell me again, do you think—no—<em>want</em> me to marry Elaine?”<br/><br/>“No,” she said plainly.<br/><br/>“Do you think it would be the right thing for Camelot?”<br/><br/>“I don’t...” she began, although her innate feelings screamed otherwise and so did the look in Arthur’s eyes; it was penetrating. “No,” she finally said.<br/><br/>Arthur looked down before his eyes met hers again and a faint smile appeared across his face. He reached out his arms and gathered her closer to him with his hands on her hips.<br/><br/>“That wasn’t too hard, was it?” he asked.<br/><br/>Gwen shook her head and smiled; it was all she could do. He used his grasp on her to pull her onto his lap. In a moment their mood changed from arguing couple back to playful lovers. He dabbed gentle kisses against her neck and ran his hand across her thigh. She was careful not to let herself become too susceptible to this fondle as the sun was coming up and she would be expected at work soon.<br/><br/>She turned to place a quick kiss on his lips. “I should get going.”<br/><br/>Arthur groaned disappointedly as she slipped off his lap. It had been a while since he’d had a chance kiss and caress her the way he wanted. He pushed his underlying desires as she brushed down and tried to fix her dress.<br/><br/>“I need to go home and change,” she told him. “I can’t walk around in the same dress as yesterday.”<br/><br/>“It might raise a few eyebrows.”<br/><br/>Gwen sighed, “Not that it matters anymore...”<br/><br/>“How do you mean?”<br/><br/>She turned to face him. “Sometimes... I just wish it was out in the open.”<br/><br/>“What, you mean you and me?” Arthur said, confused and she nodded. “Where has all of this come from?”<br/><br/>“I don’t know,” she said, thinking for a moment. “It’s just... sometimes when I’m walking in the town I’ll see a couple walking arm in arm. Every time I do I think ‘That can never be us as long we go on like this.’ It’ll just be stolen moments here and there; kissing in dark alcoves and swift lovemaking for fear of being caught.<br/><br/>Arthur stood up but stayed still. “I have kept it secret because that was how you wanted it.”<br/><br/>“I know that,” she replied. “But now I’m wondering which way is better, or worse.” Gwen shook her head, wondering why she had said it in the first place. “Never mind, I’m just talking.”<br/><br/>He watched as she walked towards the door to leave. She opened the door and walked out into the corridor. “Anyway,” she said, changing the subject entirely. “I need to go home, get changed... and I need to pick up Fach. I left her with Morgana last night.”<br/><br/>Unable to stop himself Arthur took hold of her and kissed her again just as she was about to say goodbye. It took Gwen by surprise and she stumbled backwards against the wall opposite the door. She didn’t know how to respond; he had taken her completely unawares.<br/><br/>In the end she waited until the kiss was broken before she questioned his actions. “What was that just about?” she asked, still pressed against the wall.<br/><br/>“To see how you’d react being kissed in public,” he replied with a grin.<br/><br/>Gwen looked around the empty corridor and tilted her head. “There’s no one here.”<br/><br/>“No,” Arthur agreed. He couldn’t help chuckling.<br/><br/>“What is it?” she asked, unable to contain a smile of her own.<br/><br/>“I’m just in a good mood,” he responded. “A few weeks ago; you wouldn’t even walk down a corridor with me without carrying my laundry. You treated every trip to my chambers as if it were a suicide mission, but now...”<br/><br/>“Now your father knows,” Gwen finished. “That was before he did know... and before everything you said last night.”<br/><br/>At that Gwen looked down. She still found it hard to taken in Arthur’s decision to tell his father that he would not marry Elaine; even now he was sober and slightly hung-over.<br/><br/>Arthur cupped her face to admire her face. “They weren’t just words and it wasn’t just because I was drunk,” he told her again. “I will tell my father the truth and I won’t marry Elaine.”<br/><br/>“I believe you,” she said quietly. “I know it isn’t just words. I’m just worried...”<br/><br/>“What?”<br/><br/>Gwen leant forward so their foreheads touched and she whispered carefully. “I’m worried all you’re going to do is agitate him.”<br/><br/>“I agitate him all the time these days so that doesn’t frighten me.”<br/><br/>“I have always admired your bravery,” she told him.<br/><br/>She laid her hands on his chest in the simplest but in a clearly intimate way and kissed him again. Her touch and her kiss burnt right through him and once again they were lost in each other as they had been a thousand times before. There was a chance that someone would see them, but it didn’t seem to matter. Not anymore.<br/><br/>They broke the kiss but their foreheads remained touching. “When you put it like that,” Arthur whispered, catching his breath, “It makes me want to rush to my father right now and tell him the truth.”<br/><br/>Gwen laughed at the idea. “You’re not going anywhere,” she said, pushing him playfully back towards his bedroom door. “For now, you will wait here until Merlin gets into work, then your will have a bath, change your clothes and <em>do something about your breath!</em>”<br/><br/>Arthur vaguely remembered Gwen’s quip about his breath last night. “If my breath is that bad, why kiss me again?”<br/><br/>“Think of it as a testament of true love,” Gwen replied, as she finally began to draw away to go home and change. “Very few women would want to sleep with a man after he had kissed her with last night’s ale on his breath unless she truly loved him.”<br/><br/>Arthur breathed into his hand to try and understand what she was talking about but couldn’t tell. Nonetheless he kept smiling. “You still fancy me, then?”<br/><br/>Gwen stopped. “Did the sun rise this morning?”<br/><br/>“I hear it’s going to be particularly sunny today,” he replied.<br/><br/>They stood admiring each other from a short distance. It was the knowledge that they had to part ways they stopped them from embracing once again. This was the effect of two days of enforced separation.<br/><br/>Gwen saw in Arthur all she believed a man should be; he seemed outwardly brash but in reality was gentle and considerate, in more ways than one. Arthur saw in Gwen the only woman he had ever truly loved; she was so easy to love because she had so much love to give but he had lived with so little, so what little he had he gave to her. The mere sight of each other cuddled their hearts and thrilled their senses.<br/><br/>Unwillingly the lovers finally parted ways. Arthur watched Gwen go before he returned to his room. Upon closing the door and sitting on the side of his bed he felt lonely. That moment in the corridor had made him think; even if he did somehow manage to settle the Elaine business without marrying her he would still have to go to war. He would be parted from Gwen for a prolonged period. He wouldn’t try to avoid it; it was his duty to take up arms if Camelot is under threat. It just reminded him that he would have to get used to moments like this whichever way the dice fell.<br/><br/>He lay back across the bed. It felt cold underneath him as both he and Gwen had been absent from it for a while. His temples started to throb slightly and he felt dry again. It had already been an eventful morning and Merlin hadn’t even shown up yet.<br/><br/>He would follow Gwen’s advice; he would clear his breath, bathe and change his clothes while deciding what he would say to his father. He felt as rush of apprehension at the task at hand but Gwen’s forgiveness for the mistakes made so far exhilarated him. He felt the motivation to stand there and tell his father ‘no.’<br/><br/>After Arthur had closed the door to his chambers a servant girl stepped nervously out of a nearby alcove. She had been on her way to one of the ladies of the court when she had stumbled upon the royal prince and a woman leaving his chambers before he delivered her a passionate kiss. This didn’t seem so unusual initially and she had awkwardly decided to hide in the alcove until the passage was clear.<br/><br/>It was only once the servant saw who the girl was she felt shocked. Gwen had always seemed to keep her feelings to herself and her private life a secret; if questioned whether she was being courted by anyone she just smiled and changed the subject.<br/><br/>But Gwen had been there; being touched by a man who seemed an ephemeral image admired by their class from a distance, and being kissed and caressed in a way that clearly indicated a long-standing intimacy.<br/><br/>The servant completely forgot why she had been there in the first place and wandered off dreamily. She promised herself that she should keep it secret, that Gwen was a nice girl and the nobility would slaughter her if they heard the truth. Yet even as she walked along the hallway she knew it was a promise she couldn’t keep.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Uther had fallen asleep at his desk; something he had not done for a long time.<br/><br/>He felt a little embarrassed. The last time he had done anything like this was eleven years ago or so during the last full-scale war Camelot went through. He had anxiously been up all night pondering over battle reports and tearing his hair out over the casualties and fatalities, one of whom had been Gorlois.<br/><br/>He had barely slept that night; when he finally did he was awoke by a messenger from Cornwall, declaring that Cador intended to shut off diplomatic relations with other kingdoms.<br/><br/>It had been a dark day for both Cornwall and Camelot.<br/><br/>The king rubbed his hands over his damped and stressed face. The way he was living now he felt they might as well already be at war. He felt strained arranging aid for Lot and drawing up plans for the marriage for Anna. He knew he should ask Gaius for something to relieve his nervous but he never seemed to have the time.<br/><br/>Uther had only just completed his letter to Lot; it was of less importance than the one to Anna. He couldn’t remember exactly what he said in her letter as he had mumbled throughout with terms that only she could understand.<br/><br/>He had decided to mention the hold up with Arthur’s shock over the match as well as about Gwen. It had been something he had planned to keep to himself but the return of the money had worried him.<br/><br/>As well as that he also asked her when the official negotiations of renewing the alliance between the two kingdoms would begin. He was also planning to ask Lot the same question, officially, as he was the king and his word was final. However Uther knew that Anna’s word was really final when it came to politics and was more likely to be honest.<br/><br/>Once the letter had been sealed with the royal signet the king had sent for the fastest messenger available despite the hour. He wanted the letter to get their as soon as possible to allow for a speedy reply. It was technically a time of war so there was some hope that the letter would make it to Anna within the next day or so.<br/><br/>Uther pulled himself to his feet, feeling the stiffness of his muscles at having been sat in a chair for hours on end. He stepped outside the study to see the old servant George delegating orders to some of the younger servants.<br/><br/>“George,” the king said once the young servants left.<br/><br/>The servant bowed his head in respect in his typical boot-licking manner the nobility like Uther accepted and expected. “Yes, sire?”<br/><br/>“Inform the Orcadian ambassador that I will send someone to escort him to our meeting to discuss the conflict in Rheged, before tonight’s feast,” Uther ordered.<br/><br/>“Yes, sire” the servant obeyed. “Should I inform Prince Arthur also?”<br/><br/>Uther decided against having Arthur there. Arthur had not spoken to him of his own accord since he returned the money. They had briefly spoken the other day just as Arthur and the other knights went out to the fields to train. Uther hadn’t had a chance to talk to his son after that and the next thing he heard was that Merlin was dragging Arthur home after he had gone out drinking.<br/><br/>“No, there’ll be no need at this point,” he replied, but then he thought again. “However let him know that I wish to speak to him, later this evening.”<br/><br/>“Yes, sire.”<br/><br/>Uther then handed the servant the letter to King Lot. “Take this letter for Lot of Orkney to Sir Ector for it to be sent out as soon as possible.”<br/><br/>“Of course, sire.”<br/><br/>“Now,” the king said, trying to hide his tiredness. “I have been working all through the night. I do not wish to be disturbed for the rest of the morning and I mean no one, short of a major emergency.”<br/><br/>“I’ll see to it, sire,” George replied with another nod.<br/><br/>“And one more thing,” Uther added before he forgot. “Ask Gaius to come and see me at some point during the day, later this afternoon, perhaps.”<br/><br/>“I shall do that, sire,” he said.<br/><br/>George processed all the king’s orders and was finally dismissed to carry them out. He decided to work his way backwards, informing the guards that the king did not wish to be disturbed.<br/><br/>He then made his way towards Gaius’s chambers, hoping if he got there quick enough, he would catch Merlin before he headed off to work to save him a trip to Arthur’s chambers.<br/><br/>Gaius and Merlin in the middle of breakfast when they heard a knock at the door. George was one of the few people to knock at Gaius’s door before bursting in to offload their troubles. The moment the old servant stepped him he was ambushed by Fach who had detected the smell of a new person.<br/><br/>“George, what brings you here?” Gaius asked.<br/><br/>“I have a message from the king,” replied the servant. He was trying to move away from Fach, worried she might bite him. “He wishes to see you at some point during the day, preferably later this afternoon.”<br/><br/>“Fine,” Gaius nodded, “Any particular reason?”<br/><br/>“He didn’t say,” George told him.<br/><br/>Gaius knew that usually meant he wished to discuss something other than health problems.<br/><br/>The servant then turned to Merlin, “While you’re here,” he told him, “would you inform Prince Arthur that his majesty wishes to see him this evening.”<br/><br/>Merlin nodded, “Did he say what <em>that</em> was about?”<br/><br/>“I’m afraid not,” George said, before turning to leave. “Sorry to interrupt you during breakfast.”<br/><br/>They both smiled as George left the room quickly with Fach in hot pursuit. He shut the door in her face causing her to slip backwards. Unharmed she rushed back to the table as Merlin held out a piece of bread for her.<br/><br/>“I wish you wouldn’t feed her at the table,” Gaius said.<br/><br/>“Gwen feeds her at the table,” Merlin replied, smiling.<br/><br/>“Gwen can do what she likes with her dog in her house,” the old man retorted. “This is my house.”<br/><br/>Merlin shook his head and went back to what George had said. “What do you think all that is about?” he asked.<br/><br/>“The king probably wants to see me for his health,” Gaius replied. “I imagine he wishes to see Arthur for the <em>other</em> reason.”<br/><br/>“You mean Gwen?” Merlin said. “I wish he would just leave her alone; she never did Uther any harm.”<br/><br/>Gaius sighed. “Merlin, I know your opinion of Uther is far from pleasant—” (Merlin scoffed and folded his arms) “—but I promise that it is very unlikely that he wishes any harm on Gwen.”<br/><br/>“<em>Unlikely</em> he doesn’t wish any harm?” Merlin said, rather startled. “Why, what could he do to her?”<br/><br/>Gaius shifted in his chair; he didn’t mean to alarm Merlin. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that, despite everything, I’m sure he will be sympathetic to Arthur and Gwen’s situation, whatever he decides to do.”<br/><br/>“I’m sure that Arthur and Gwen will find that most comforting; he could burn her, imprison her or exile her but <em>thank the gods</em> he sympathises with them,” Merlin said sarcastically.<br/><br/>“There is no need for that attitude,” the old man said quietly. “This is a stressful time for everyone, between this marriage and Camelot going to war...”<br/><br/>“I don’t see why Arthur has to marry Elaine,” Merlin interrupted. “I mean, it’s not like they need the alliance—isn’t the queen of Orkney Arthur’s aunt?”<br/><br/>“I think Uther wants to ensure that the alliance carries on into the next generation,” Gaius told him.<br/><br/>Merlin shook his head, “But when Lot dies the next king of Orkney will be Gawain; he’s like a brother to Arthur.”<br/><br/>“There are many other reasons than the alliance,” Gaius said firmly. “I’m not defending it I’m just putting forward Uther’s case.”<br/><br/>“Why bother?”<br/><br/>“Because if I don’t no one else will,” Gaius said firmly.<br/><br/>It was true too. Gaius had always tried his best to give Uther’s ideas a fair hearing. He disagreed with many of them but he knew Uther only wanted the best for everyone; his methods were just considerably more questionable than other monarchs such as Anna’s were. In some ways Gaius felt the need to defend Uther when he most needed it, rather like how Merlin did with Arthur.<br/><br/>“I don’t know why you’re so worried, anyway” Gaius added. “Royal engagements always fall through in a time of crisis.”<br/><br/>Merlin tilted his head, “Really?”<br/><br/>“Unless they are betrothed at birth and the promise is honoured throughout their lives. Otherwise a royal could be engaged nearly five times before it actually results in marriage.”<br/><br/>“And how many times has Elaine been engaged?” Merlin asked.<br/><br/>“Once or twice,” Gaius said. “The most recent engagement for her to fall through was with Prince Claudius. I’d say Arthur is about the third or fourth person she will be contracted to.”<br/><br/>Merlin shook his head. “What about Arthur?”<br/><br/>“He’s never been officially betrothed to anyone,” Gaius explained to him. “Everyone believed he would marry Morgana but for obvious reasons that went out the window years ago.”<br/><br/>“Yeah,” Merlin said, knowing it was the brother-sister angle. Despite everything it still made Merlin feel a little edgy for reasons he would not admit to himself and certainly not Gaius. “I remember Gwen said something about that when I first came here.”<br/><br/>“When Arthur turned eighteen Uther was half ready to marry them off,” Gaius explained. “Arthur, not altogether keen on the idea, said he wanted to wait until he was twenty-one. He probably thought three years would be enough time to come up with his next excuse.”<br/><br/>Merlin couldn’t help laugh and roll his eyes. “I don’t see why they can’t just marry who they want like normal people do.”<br/><br/>“Royals aren’t normal people,” Gaius joked. “They pride themselves on the fact they are separate from everyone else.”<br/><br/>Merlin nodded as he got to his feet. “You can say that again.”<br/><br/>“Off to work, then?”<br/><br/>“Yeah,” he said.<br/><br/>“Fine,” Gaius said, clearing the table. He then noticed Fach sitting on the floor at his feet looking wistfully up at him, longing for what remained in their bowls. “What about her?”<br/><br/>Merlin turned around, looked at the puppy and smiled; “When I find Gwen I can tell her with have Fach and she can come and pick it up.”<br/><br/>Gaius gave Merlin a scowl but agreed, “Alright, but make finding Gwen your priority.”<br/><br/>Merlin laughed. He knew that Gaius secretly like both Fach and Howell although he would never admit it. The other day when Howell followed Merlin home after he had taken him for a walk he had caught Gaius sneakily giving him a belly rub.<br/><br/>Once Merlin had gone Gaius looked back down at Fach’s longing eyes and put the bowl down on the floor. Her head followed it down and she excitedly began to clear it of every last scrap of food. Gaius smiled and stroked the little dog’s head.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>After leaving Gaius’s chambers George had gone straight to Sir Ector’s apartments to have the letter to the king of Orkney passed on. Ector had commented on how strange that the king had chosen to send Anna’s letter off last night without delay instead of waiting till he had finished both letters and sending them both off this morning.<br/><br/>Ector, a man with little forethought or afterthought, did not even stop to consider why the letter to Anna was so urgent. He just assumed that the king was under great strain and wished for the letters to be sent out as soon as possible. Then again Ector was the sort of many who never took women seriously, even one as accomplished as Anna.<br/><br/>Once George had given Ector the letter for posting he made his final port of call to the ambassador for Orkney, Áedh. By this time he was gasping for a cup of tea and wanted to get to the kitchens before the younger servants did to gossip about their lords and masters. He intended to make his meeting with Áedh quick.<br/><br/>“I’m sorry to bother you, Excellency,” George said as he entered the study.<br/><br/>Áedh had reading a letter at his desk when the servant came in. He smiled politely, “Not at all.”<br/><br/>“I have a message from the king,” George told the ambassador. “He says he will meet with you this afternoon; he will send someone to collect you.”<br/><br/>“Thank you,” Áedh said politely.<br/><br/>With his duties done George left to get his longed for herbal tea leaving Áedh to his letter.<br/><br/>Áedh waited until the servant had gone before he looked down at it again. It was yet another message from his queen. He couldn’t help smiling when he received a message from Anna. He had been in Lot’s service since before Anna became queen. It had been he who helped put together the alliance between Lot and Uther through the marriage and he had been the go-between ever since.<br/><br/>He was loyal to Lot and admired him but he was even more so loyal to his wife. She had proved to be such a remarkable consort that it was difficult to refuse her when she came up with one of her ‘little plans.’<br/><br/>Áedh shook his head; she still spoke to him in letters the same way she had twenty years ago when she first became queen and knew little about the task she had undertaken.<br/><br/>In the letter she stated how she is waiting for a letter from Uther ‘no doubt ranting about some issue or other regarding the alliance or whatnot.’ She also stated her intention to tell Uther that she, Gawain and possibly Elaine would be coming down to Camelot within the next few weeks. ‘That will frighten him’ she joked in the letter.<br/><br/>Otherwise she told Áedh to continue to advice her ‘poor old <em>beau-frère</em>’ in the best possible way and make sure he ‘does nothing stupid’ in regards to the issues ‘he will no doubt be ranting to [her] about in his next letter.’<br/><br/>She was, of course, referring to the handmaiden. Anna was always one step ahead of everyone else.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arthur sat up with a start as the door crash shut and Merlin finally entered.<br/><br/>He had not moved from that position since Gwen had left him earlier that morning. He had sat imagining her journey from the castle to her house; changing her clothes, brushing her hair and fixing it so it wouldn’t get in the way of her work... she lived a life so much simpler than the one he felt she deserved.<br/><br/>Merlin stood at the door and stared at him. He was still feeling a little awkward about the argument they had the other day over the money and Merlin wondered whether Arthur remembered his apology.<br/><br/>“Morning,” Merlin said finally.<br/><br/>Arthur got to his feet. “Good morning.”<br/><br/>There was another long pause as Arthur went to his table a poured himself a cup of water. His head was starting to feel heavy for all the drinking he had done the previous night. Gwen being there had taken his mind off it but sitting doing nothing brought it all back to him.<br/><br/>“Are you feeling alright?” Merlin asked by procedure. “You did knock quite a lot of ale back last night.”<br/><br/>“Really,” Arthur said sarcastically, rubbing his eyes. “That’s rather obvious since I can’t really remember much about yesterday apart from drinking.” Merlin walked to the other side of the table to face him. Arthur looked up at him, “What is it?”<br/><br/>“I’m sorry,” Merlin said, deciding to apologise again.<br/><br/>Arthur shrugged, “What for?”<br/><br/>“For yelling at you the other day,” Merlin said guiltily. He looked down and ran his fingers across the back of the chair. “I didn’t even stop to think, or listen to you, and I’m sorry, very sorry.”<br/><br/>Arthur sighed. “Stop moping, Merlin. It’s starting to irritate me. You apologised yesterday; I vaguely remember that.”<br/><br/>“Even so I should have known better than to think that you would...”<br/><br/>“Merlin,” the prince said firmly.<br/><br/>The servant was silenced immediately. Merlin had a terrible habit of babbling when he trying to anything he disliked, such as apologising, and Arthur was not in the mood for it especially since he didn’t feel the need for an apology. On reflection he hadn’t even been that angry by Merlin yelling at him in the first place; he was more concerned about Gwen.<br/><br/>“It’s alright,” Arthur told him. “I understand why you did it; you did it to defend Gwen. You weren’t to know that servant was from my father and given my track record before now I can’t really criticise you for yelling at me...”<br/><br/>Merlin smiled, “Really?”<br/><br/>“I could understand why,” Arthur said. “I promised you before this whole thing started that I would treat her with respect. It must have seemed that I had... let you both down.”<br/><br/>“I wasn’t bothered about me,” Merlin said remembering the moment that had only occurred just a few days ago. “It was just the shock...”<br/><br/>“Yes,” Arthur said quietly. He clasped his hands together and quickly changed the subject. “Anyway, let’s forget about; it’s water under a bridge.”<br/><br/>Merlin nodded and walked over to the bed change the sheets while Arthur compiled all the orders that he needed to give him. Before he could announce them Merlin spoke again.<br/><br/>“I’m sorry I wasn’t here to look after you last night,” he told him. “I was... called away, and since Gaius said you didn’t really need me...”<br/><br/>“It’s alright,” Arthur said. He was starting to get irritated by Merlin’s numerous apologises. “Gwen was here.”<br/><br/>“Yes, I know, she...” Merlin began before he stopped and turned. Arthur also turned his chair to face him, waiting for him to finish. “She said she would look after you while I... dealt with that thing. I hope that was alright.”<br/><br/>Arthur tilted his head. Merlin’s attempt to avoid the thing that called him away intrigued him but not enough to question him about it.<br/><br/>Instead, he smiled and said: “It was more that ‘alright’, Merlin.”<br/><br/>Merlin dropped the pillow he was holding, hooked by the tone of Arthur’s voice. “Why?” he said eagerly. “Did something happen..?”<br/><br/>“You know I’m not one to kiss and tell,” replied Arthur, to which Merlin scoffed and Arthur chuckled.<br/><br/>Merlin knew that tone in Arthur’s voice meant something good had happened. It also indicated that he was going to tell him about it. The thing that intrigued Merlin was that it was Gwen; there was promise that the issues brought on by ‘the pay off’ had been resolved.<br/><br/>“Oh come on!” Merlin finally said, picking up the pillow again to remove its cover. “You can’t say that and then not tell me.”<br/><br/>“Yes I can.”<br/><br/>The servant groaned, “Fine then.”<br/><br/>Arthur rolled his eyes. “If it’ll stop you sulking then I’ll tell you.”<br/><br/>Merlin dropped the pillow again and leant against the poster of the bed eagerly. He knew that Arthur had intended to tell him all along but he indulged his master by pretending it was a real treat for the ears.<br/><br/>“Well,” Arthur began. “I suppose you could say we ‘resolved’ our issues last night, and this morning...”<br/><br/>A thought sprang to Merlin’s mind. “You didn’t...?”<br/><br/>“No!” Arthur said quickly.<br/><br/>“You don’t know what I was going to say,” the servant chuckled.<br/><br/>“I didn’t need to,” Arthur replied. “Get your mind out of the gutter. Nothing like that happened. Not last night in any case.”<br/><br/>Merlin tilted his head and grinned. “But you <em>did</em> kiss and make up?”<br/><br/>Arthur brought his hand to his mouth to cover his smile. He was feeling quite pleased with himself. “I suppose you could say that.”<br/><br/>Merlin laughed. “That’s brilliant! What are you going to do now?”<br/><br/>“Ah!” Arthur said pleasantly, finally finding an excuse to drop his list of chores for Merlin to carry out. “I’m glad you brought that up. I have a few things I need you to do for me.”<br/><br/>Merlin raised an eyebrow, “A <em>few</em> things?”<br/><br/>“I need a bath.”<br/><br/>Annoyance sparked in Merlin eyes; it was always a hard chore drawing a bath. “Need one or just want one?”<br/><br/>“Need one,” Arthur said, getting to his feet. “I plan to speak to my father later today and, according to our dear Gwen, the ‘desperate drunk’ look will not have the effect I am looking for.”<br/><br/>“I imagine not,” Merlin remarked as he went on working. “What do you want to see him for?”<br/><br/>“Elaine,” Arthur said simply. “I’m going to tell my father that I’m not going through with the engagement.”<br/><br/>Merlin was stuck, frozen. The words hit him as if Arthur had literally hurled something at him, stunning him utterly that nothing made sense.<br/><br/>“Are you serious?” Merlin asked, and Arthur nodded. The servant began to splutter and stumble over his words. He felt both happiness and dread; happy for his two friends and dread for Uther’s reaction. “Your calling off the... you mean you won’t be... and you’ll... because of—wow!”<br/><br/>“Glad to see you’re so pleased for me.”<br/><br/>“It’s just a surprise,” he said again, grinning inanely. “I didn’t think you could get out of a royal engagement.”<br/><br/>“You can’t in theory,” Arthur said. “But my ‘engagement’ to Elaine is not finalised yet so there is no contract to get out of besides which, my father can’t finalise it unless I agree to sign it.”<br/><br/>“...which you won’t?”<br/><br/>“You catch on quick,” Arthur said sarcastically.<br/><br/>“Are you sure you’ve thought this through?”<br/><br/>Arthur rolled his eyes, “Oh God, not you too! Yes, I <em>have</em> thought it through. A million times, in fact, and I can see no obvious benefit of marrying Elaine.”<br/><br/>Merlin was in no position to argue with Arthur as he knew little about the conflict in Rheged. It was only through discussion with Gaius and court gossip was that he knew Elaine was Arthur’s maternal cousin and the product of a very powerful (and fertile) king and queen.<br/><br/>“And then what?” he finally said.<br/><br/>“And then what, what?” Arthur asked.<br/><br/>“After you call off the engagement with Elaine,” Merlin said. “What will you do after that?”<br/><br/>Arthur had only barely worked out what he was going to tell his father let alone what he would do ‘afterwards’. He liked to think that even if there was the slightest chance marrying Elaine would benefit Camelot, he would somehow be able to make peace with it. However he felt not only reluctant to marry Elaine but a powerful urge to avoid it at all costs.<br/><br/>He had wondered during his many hours of brooding whether he was merely been blinded by his passion for Guinevere. But it was more than that and sadly was a concept that would be difficult for Uther to understand.<br/><br/>No matter what he did Camelot would have to aid Lot in the Rheged conflict out of respect for his aunt Anna if nothing else.<br/><br/>Instead of answering the question Arthur ordered Merlin to fetch what was need for his bath.<br/><br/>“Yes, sire” Merlin said with a sigh. He headed for the door when he remembered what George had told him and span around again. “Oh, yeah, actually the king sent word that he wanted to see you this evening.”<br/><br/>Arthur’s head shot around to look at him. “When was this?”<br/><br/>“Just before I headed off to work George came ‘round to my house and asked if I could let you know that the king want to see your later this evening,” Merlin explained. “I suppose he wants to talk to you after the banquet.”<br/><br/>“What banquet?”<br/><br/>“The one being held for Sir Bors,” Merlin said, trying to remind him. “If you’ll recall he has taken the vow of chivalry? God, you <em>must</em> have drunk more than your fair share last night.”<br/><br/>Arthur looked at Merlin with ‘that look’, “I <em>do</em> remember. I’ve just had more on my mind that Bors taking a vow of purity; I don’t even talk to him much.”<br/><br/>“No,” Merlin said, opening the door. “The status of purity isn’t really your scene, is it?”<br/><br/>“Shut up, Merlin!”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Morgana sat at her dresser waiting for Gwen to return with Fach. The young maid had turned up earlier to wake her mistress up. Morgana had wondered whether or not to impart her fears of last night’s dream to her but, after Merlin’s advice, she decided otherwise.<br/><br/>After Merlin had left her last night Morgana had laid in bed thinking about her dream and about him. She thought about how he had literally spent the last half-hour inside her mind. It made her blush to think about it; it was the most intimate she had ever been with anyone.<br/><br/>She had sighed many times as she ran through the events in her head. The more she thought about them the tighter the feeling in her chest became, and the tighter that became, the most she craved (and dreaded) seeing Merlin again.<br/><br/>Morgana had always thought she knew her own mind, but it turned out Merlin knew it better than she did. She had also considered herself more in depth with knowledge about men than most women, but with Merlin she never knew where she was. It turned out she knew next to nothing. Gwen understood more than she did and had experienced more than she had despite being younger and, initially, shyer.<br/><br/>When Gwen turned up to rouse her Morgana had noticed that Gwen was in a much brighter mood than she had been. This immediately told her that something good had happened, something that Morgana wanted all the dirt on.<br/><br/>After Gwen had helped Morgana dress she had told Gwen that Merlin was looking after Fach and that she could bring the dog back to her room. She waited patiently for her maid to return so she could learn what had put a spring in her step. She could guess though.<br/><br/>“I’m back,” Gwen called cheerfully as she re-entered the room.<br/><br/>The little dog Fach rushed excitedly into the room and settled down by an empty chair, waiting for her mistress to sit beside her. Morgana had a look in her eye that matched Fach’s look; eagerness.<br/><br/>Gwen noticed the look and wondered what was passing through her mind. She couldn’t help but smile, “What is it?”<br/><br/>“You,” Morgana said gesturing her hand towards her friend. “You seem happier all of a sudden, brighter... you could light a room with your brightness.”<br/><br/>“Oh,” Gwen said, slightly flattered and still smiling. “Thank you.”<br/><br/>“So, are you going to tell me the route of this sudden cheer?” Morgana asked with her own smile widening. “Or shall I guess?”<br/><br/>Gwen shrugged, “I’m just... happy today.”<br/><br/>Morgana nodded, unconvinced, “Just happy?”<br/><br/>The maid nodded back and tried to contain her laugh, unsuccessfully. “I resolved a few problems.”<br/><br/>“And that made you happy?”<br/><br/>“Yes.”<br/><br/>Morgana sighed, “That’s nice because you look like you’re in love, again.”<br/><br/>Gwen felt a blushed cover her cheeks and she finally let her laughter out. “I was in love yesterday too, and the day before that. I just happened to...” she stopped and saw the look on Morgana’s face, begging her to say the words. Gwen sighed, “I’ve been speaking to Arthur.”<br/><br/>“I knew it!” Morgana said triumphantly. “You were with him last night, weren’t you?”<br/><br/>Gwen nodded, “And this morning.”<br/><br/>“Did you—?” Morgana asked suggestively.<br/><br/>“No,” Gwen replied quickly. “Not last night or this morning, in any case. I didn’t think it was right, given that he’s supposed to be marrying Elaine. Besides, he was drunk last night so it wouldn’t have been fair...”<br/><br/>“Of course not,” Morgana agreed, feeling more laughter bubble up inside her. “It would have been unfair to take advantage of Arthur like that.”<br/><br/>Gwen chuckled too, “I don’t think he would have minded, really. It was the Elaine factor more than anything else.”<br/><br/>Then mention of Elaine had reminded Morgana of her dream last night. She settled down, cleared her throat and regained her composure. “You know he’s not officially betrothed to her yet,” Morgana told her.<br/><br/>“I know,” Gwen said, before swallowed and carried on. “He told me this morning that he was going to refuse her...”<br/><br/>Morgana eyes widened. “Refuse her? You mean he’s going to tell Uther that he won’t marry her?”<br/><br/>“Yes.”<br/><br/>Morgana shook her head, “I admire his courage; how do you feel about it?”<br/><br/>“Like you,” Gwen replied. “I admire his courage.”<br/><br/>“He’s doing it for you,” Morgana said, knowing she was stating the obvious but felt that Gwen needed to hear it nonetheless. “He may not say it straight but that’s why.”<br/><br/>“I know all of that,” Gwen said, sighing. “I’m just worried he’s going to do something he’ll later regret. We both always said that we’d do the best not only by each other but Camelot too...”<br/><br/>“And you think that it’s wrong for him to refuse Elaine?”<br/><br/>“That’s just it!” Gwen said, stress in her voice. “I don’t think he should marry Elaine. I feel it would be the <em>worst</em> thing he could do... and that makes me think my judgement—<em>our</em> <em>judgement</em>—is unreliable.”<br/><br/>“Maybe you’re both right,” Morgana suggested, listening carefully. “You once told me that people should rely on what they feel not just what others say is right.”<br/><br/>“I realise now it’s easier to say those sorts of things when you’re impartial,” Gwen admitted with a brave smile. “I love him madly but it’s hard to follow your heart when so much may depend on what you end up doing. That’s why I admire his courage.”<br/><br/>For some reason, Morgana didn’t know why, she found herself thinking of Merlin again. The way he described his destiny and so freely offered up his life for other people was similar to what Gwen was talking about. But that wasn’t the only reason she thought of Merlin.<br/><br/>“I also think about what will happen after he has refused Elaine,” Gwen confessed. “I worry about everyone’s reaction.”<br/><br/>“Uther will be furious,” Morgana conceded. “I don’t know what King Lot will think, but then again he’s so self-involved I doubt he’ll notice. Queen Anna has always been fond of Arthur so she might understand...”<br/><br/>“Would she understand if it upsets her daughter?”<br/><br/>Morgana scoffed, “I don’t think Elaine will be all that bothered to be honest.”<br/><br/>“I never really met her so I wouldn’t know,” she replied.<br/><br/>Gwen tried to remember Elaine from the last time the Orcadian royal family visited. Elaine was about two years younger than Gwen so she had probably changed a lot since then. All Gwen could remember was that she was beautiful even then.<br/><br/>“It’s funny,” Gwen confessed. “A few months ago I told you that I would never consider being someone’s mistress, that I had more pride than that... but now I’m starting to see what you meant about it sometimes being the only way.”<br/><br/>Morgana nodded, “None of us know what we would do until we’re in that situation.”<br/><br/>“It’s not the prospect of being a mistress that bothers me,” Gwen admitted with an ironic laugh. “It’s the prospect of having to share Arthur with someone else. I hate it. I hate it so much that I find it hard not to be selfish...”<br/><br/>“Then be selfish!” Morgana declared. “For the love of Don, you deserve it. Why should you give up your needs for other people all the time? It could be so much worse...”<br/><br/>“I know,” Gwen agreed. “It’s hard to see how, though.”<br/><br/>“Well,” Morgana began, thinking again of her own confused feelings. It made a faint blush creep across her face. “Imagine if your roles were reversed,” she finally said. “Imagine if <em>you</em> were the noble and <em>he</em> was the servant. A powerful man can have whoever he wants and not be judged whereas a powerful woman is branded a whore no matter who she cavorts with. Falling in love with a servant for a woman is classed as <em>an unnatural act</em>.”<br/><br/>Gwen nodded, “You’re right, of course.”<br/><br/>“I mean,” Morgana went on. “Arthur can look after you whether you’re married or not, but if you were born a lady and he a servant, there would be no future for you or him...”<br/><br/>“That’s true,” Gwen agreed.<br/><br/>“And if you were found out that would be even worse?” Morgana added. “That would be the <em>ruin</em> of you. Never mind your father marching you and him off to church with a sword in your back; he’d just cut his head off and stuff you in a nunnery... or pawn you off with the first unfussy man who came along—”<br/><br/>“My lady,” Gwen interrupted. “Is there are point to this?”<br/><br/>“No” Morgana said quickly. She smiled weakly and forced herself to regain her cheerful voice again, “I’m just trying to cheer you up that’s all.”<br/><br/>Gwen smiled despite herself and decided she had had enough of her personal life. Instead, she tilted her head and thought about the previous night again and how Morgana had asked for Merlin’s help. Arthur had distracted her from her curiosity then, but now it started to creep up on her again.<br/><br/>“Is there something bothering <em>you</em>?” Gwen asked.<br/><br/>Morgana blinked, “No, why?”<br/><br/>“You just seem a little... hysterical.”<br/><br/>“Do I?” Morgana asked, pretending that it was not true although she knew it was. All this talk of matters of the heart was starting to make her think. She looked down awkwardly and wondered if she should share her feelings with someone.<br/><br/>Morgana looked up at Gwen; she had a feeling she already knew what was going through her head. Her rambling had been a clear indicator. “Gwen,” she finally said.<br/><br/>“Yes?” Gwen replied.<br/><br/>“If your roles were reversed with Arthur’s,” Morgana began, “what would you do, do you think?”<br/><br/>“In regards to... what exactly?”<br/><br/>“Would you have told him how you felt about him?” Morgana asked.<br/><br/>Gwen shrugged, “I don’t know really; so much of who we are is dependent on the fact I am a servant and he is the prince. I don’t see how status makes telling someone you love them any easier or harder.”<br/><br/>“But would you have still told him?”<br/><br/>Gwen smiled again, “Yes. I think I’d have told him in the end.”<br/><br/>Morgana looked down at Gwen’s feet. Throughout the whole conversation Fach had been quietly watching the pair of them, wagging her tail. Morgana understood why Gwen was so fond of her little dog; Fach was someone who listened to ramblings of people and wouldn’t tell or judge.<br/><br/>“Is there any reason you ask?” Gwen asked curiously.<br/><br/>Morgana looked at her again and smiled. “No, I’m just curious.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>A group of servants were gathered around the table in the middle of the kitchen just after the morning breakfast. It was a ritual commonly known to the servants of Camelot. The nobility considered the lower classes to be simple but with the knowledge the servants of Camelot gained between them they had enough clout to start an uprising. The only thing that stopped them was that without the upper class they wouldn’t have a job, or the gossip.<br/><br/>The kitchen table was always gossip central for the castle, more so than the great hall or the audience room.<br/><br/>The gossip was usually about their noble masters and any dirty secrets they had such as the fact that Lady Ector’s hair was really a wig, and whether something was going on between her son Sir Kay and the widowed Lady Bedivere... and it was all revealed for their amusement.<br/><br/>Even Arthur used the servants’ gossip as a source of information especially if the king had set him to find out something in.<br/><br/>Today, however, servants were all twittering about one piece of gossip in particular. It had all come about when two young servant girls, a talkative one called Maud and her shy friend Cecilia, rushed into the servants’ quarters saying that the shy girl had seen something <em>deliciously</em> scandalous...<br/><br/>“I don’t believe it,” said one of the servants who worked in the stables called Simon. “I mean, when I heard it, I just <em>couldn’t</em> believe it.”<br/><br/>“None of us could,” said Sarah, who was the maidservant to Percival and Lamorak’s mother. “It’s not really something you’d associate with Gwen, is it?”<br/><br/>Erec, Lamorak’s unfortunate manservant whose arm was still in a sling and second youngest at the table after the cook’s son, turned to Maud with a sceptical look on his face. “You’re not making this up, are you? You can be a right tattle-tale.”<br/><br/>Maud gave him a wide-eyed look. “Me? I’m not the one who saw it. Cecilia saw it and she wouldn’t lie about something like that.”<br/><br/>“No, it’s just you who’s is now telling everyone,” joked Simon the stable boy.<br/><br/>Maud gave him a small whack and leapt to her feet. “I have to go, anyway. Lots of work to do; you can’t expect Cecilia to make all the beds on her own.”<br/><br/>The band of servants watched her go before they all huddled together again. They knew Maud was right when she said that Cecilia would not lie about something like that. She was a shy girl with little spite or clout who admired Gwen.<br/><br/>“Maud was <em>very</em> excited when she told me,” Sarah explained to the others. “She came running into my lady’s rooms with Cecilia in tow and blurted it out just like that. Thank God my lady wasn’t there!”<br/><br/>“She’ll find out about it soon enough,” Erec told her. “The way Maud is going by the end of tonight’s banquet everyone in Camelot will probably know.”<br/><br/>“Wait!” said a chambermaid called Emma, pointing at the stairs leading up to the castle. “Here’s the man to ask.”<br/><br/>Merlin strode into the kitchen that moment. He was clearly worn from dragging a bath tub, a cauldron and several buckets of water to heat and fill his master’s bath. Once that was all done he had asked Arthur if he could go and find Gwen to let her know where Fach was.<br/><br/>He had also hoped to find Gwen in the kitchen but there was no sight of her; she was probably with Morgana, filling her in on last night’s events as Arthur had done with him. She would probably tell Gwen where Fach was too.<br/><br/>Merlin turned to see everyone sitting at the table staring and grinning at him. He chuckled when he saw the old huddle gossiping in the centre of the kitchen as he had spent many joyful mornings laughing at Arthur’s expense with them.<br/><br/>“What’s the word today?” he asked them. “It must be something good.”<br/><br/>“I’m surprised <em>you</em> don’t know Merlin!” remarked Emma.<br/><br/>“I’d have thought you of all people would know,” said the cook’s young son. He then turned back to the other servants and chuckled, “I told you <em>ages ago</em> that something was going on but did you believe me? No.”<br/><br/>Merlin tilted his head. “Saw what?”<br/><br/>“You can’t blame us,” Sarah said. “It is pretty hard to believe, and when we asked Merlin he said he didn’t know anything...”<br/><br/>“But Merlin <em>can</em> be gullible,” the cook’s son said.<br/><br/>Merlin scowled, “Oi!”<br/><br/>The cook turned briefly and gave her son a gentle clout around the head with her free hand, clearly not impressed by her son’s rudeness.<br/><br/>“That’s enough!” she scolded. “Merlin’s got more sense than you have, I’ll tell you that, my boy!” She then turned her frown on the younger servants. “And shame on all of you spreading malicious lies around <em>my</em> kitchen.”<br/><br/>“It’s not a lie,” said one of the drapers. “Cecilia saw her this morning, and Edgar, who lives close by to her, said that all of her washing is still out.”<br/><br/>Merlin chuckled. “Seen who?”<br/><br/>“Maud is a spiteful little so-and-so!” snapped the cook. “I’ll bet you what Cecilia actually saw was nothing like what that tattle-tale is spreading. Like young Erec said she’s always making something out of nothing.”<br/><br/>“How can you say seeing them together outside his room nothing?” asked Emma.<br/><br/>“She <em>is</em> a servant,” the cook retorted. “Just like you and me; it’s our jobs to serve the snobs upstairs and do whatever old George assigns us to do.”<br/><br/>“Quiet, mother; someone might hear you!” hissed the son.<br/><br/>“He’s right,” agreed Erec. “Old George would rat us all out to the king if he felt like it, the old goat.<br/><br/>Sarah rolled her eyes and gestured towards Merlin. “If he needed something he would have asked Merlin. He wouldn’t have asked Gwen, would he?”<br/><br/>Merlin’s ears spiked and his eyes widened. <em>He knew what they were talking about now.</em><br/><br/>“You’re talking about Arthur and Gwen?” Merlin finally said.<br/><br/>He wondered if he might be able to cover it up a little bit. He was, after all, a servant who was perceived to be ‘in the know’ when it came to Arthur.<br/><br/>“Yes,” said Sarah. “You must know something about it; you are Prince Arthur’s servant.”<br/><br/>“No!” Merlin said defensively before he began to backtrack. “I mean, <em>yes</em>, I knew she was there last night but… well, Arthur wasn’t feeling well so she said she would look after him.”<br/><br/>Merlin hadn’t noticed Gregory, who had been sitting silently, looking rather down, until he finally spoke: “Where were you?”<br/><br/>Everyone pointed at Gregory and nodded. “Yeah, why weren’t <em>you</em> looking after him?” Erec asked curiously.<br/><br/>Merlin felt his cheeks burn as he tried to come up with an excuse. He could hardly tell them he had been with Morgana last night. It just allowed for more questions; why had Merlin and Gwen ‘traded’ their respective masters last night?<br/><br/>He looked over his shoulder and saw that even the cook had stopped her work to listen curiously to Merlin’s excuses. In the end he smiled falsely and said: “I… was <em>very</em> tired and she kindly said she’d look after him for me.”<br/><br/>Gregory raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. He knew that Merlin had spent yesterday searching for Arthur, who in turn had been drinking, and that any illness was no doubt brought on by a hangover; not infection. He said nothing, however.<br/><br/>Sarah shook her head. “If you say so Merlin,” she laughed, “but Maud saw the two of them <em>together</em> outside his room. They weren’t just standing there having a nice little chat… they were <em>kissing</em>.”<br/><br/>“No,” the cook gasped, finally letting go of her prickliness over the whole gossip. “I don’t believe it!”<br/><br/>Merlin gasped. “Oh God...”<br/><br/>“Ah ha!” remarked stable boy. “So you <em>do</em> know about it!”<br/><br/>“No, I <em>don’t</em>” he said awkwardly, rubbing his elbows and avoiding eyes contact with the half a dozen servants staring at him and waiting for answers.<br/><br/>“Ha, well, that confirms it!” concluded the chambermaid. “There <em>is</em> something going on between Arthur and Gwen, no question.”<br/><br/>Merlin looked uncomfortable. “You don’t know that.”<br/><br/>“Yes we do because you won’t deny it,” said Sarah. “You’d be laughing along with us if it weren’t true but you’re standing there keeping hot under the collar, ergo, it <em>must</em> be true.”<br/><br/>Merlin glanced back at her, “Even if it is I wouldn’t tell you anything.”<br/><br/>The cook nodded, “Well said, Merlin.”<br/><br/>“It’s not my place to,” he added. “And Arthur would kill me.”<br/><br/>“Spoil sport!” the cook’s son sulked.<br/><br/>She gave him another little clout and pushed quickly him towards the kitchen door. “You get back to work,” she snapped. “This talk is not proper for a young lad like you.”<br/><br/>The young boy pouted and tore out of the kitchen in a huff of fury. The cook then turned her scowl on the young gossiping servants again. Merlin sat down where her son had been next to Gregory who remained silent.<br/><br/>Merlin was stunned that they seemed to all <em>know</em> and it took him a few seconds to grasp the implications; Arthur and Gwen’s relationship was out. If the servants knew it would only be a matter of time before the masters knew too.<br/><br/>He looked at Erec. “How’s your arm?”<br/><br/>Erec smiled, “It’s getting better thanks. I’m seeing Gaius later to see if I can have it out of the sling soon.”<br/><br/>“Why do you find it so hard to believe Gwen is having an affair with Arthur?” Sarah asked the cook, changing the subject back again despite Merlin’s subtle attempt to change it.<br/><br/>“Because she’s too good for his like,” the cook replied.<br/><br/>“He’s alright actually,” Merlin said, trying to speak in his master’s defence; he knew Gwen would if she were there. “Once you get passed the snobby, prattish side of him he’s not all that bad.”<br/><br/>“And he’s ever so good-looking,” added Sarah dreamily, leaning back and folding her arms. “I wouldn’t say no for that reason alone; why should Gwen be any different? She’s the same as any other woman.”<br/><br/>The cook continued to glare at them. “The lot of you sitting ‘round here gossiping behind our Gwen’s back is disgraceful. She is still one of us, remember; she’s a friend!”<br/><br/>“We’re not trying to be nasty,” said Sarah defensively.<br/><br/>“We’re fascinated by the whole thing because she <em>is</em> one of us,” Erec added cheerfully. “I mean lots of girls of our rank have given favours to nobility and royalty before but it’s never been anything like <em>this</em>!”<br/><br/>Merlin could understand why they were enthralled with the whole thing and something told him they were telling the truth when they said they weren’t trying to be unkind.<br/><br/>“I hope she’ll be alright,” Erec finished.<br/><br/>“She’ll be fine,” said Sarah assured him. “Gwen has a brilliant knack for survival.”<br/><br/>“I feel sorry for her in some ways,” said another kitchen worker. “Those noblewomen can be right bitches.”<br/><br/>“Language!” snapped the cook.<br/><br/>“How’d you mean?” Merlin asked.<br/><br/>“They’ll be nasty to Gwen when they find out,” explained Emma the chambermaid. “It’s only because they’re jealous.”<br/><br/>“Exactly!” said one of the garden servants who had just walked in and overheard the conversation. “I just heard about this from old Edgar; you’ve got to admire Gwen’s guts if she’s willing to face those harpies upstairs.”<br/><br/>“They’d resent <em>anyone</em> who had Arthur,” said Erec. “All those women tend to care about are material things. You know the sort of thing; jewellery, clothes, make-up, their hair…”<br/><br/>“Half of them need all that stuff to look half-decent,” Gregory contributed to the conversation. “Even then they aren’t as pretty as Gwen.”<br/><br/>“That’s another thing they hate; women who are prettier than them,” said the gardener.<br/><br/>“All women are like that,” Erec joked, and subsequently received an elbow in the ribs from Sarah.<br/><br/>Merlin noticed that Gregory still appeared rather quiet and uncomfortable. He placed a hand on his shoulder, “Are you alright?”<br/><br/>Gregory looked up.<br/><br/>“Oh, yes,” he said absently. “You know I think I should be getting back to Percival; he’ll be wondering where I am.”<br/><br/>He clumsily got to his feet in typical Gregory-style and trotted off upstairs like a lonely dog to find his master. Merlin watched him leave curiously, feeling immediately that something was wrong. He turned to the others, “Is he alright?”<br/><br/>“God, everything passes you by, doesn’t it?” Erec joked.<br/><br/>“Why, what’s wrong?” Merlin asked.<br/><br/>“You really don’t know?” said Sarah, bemused. “He’s in love with Gwen.”<br/><br/>Merlin’s eyes widened; that was the first thing he had heard today that to truly surprised him. “Really?” he said.<br/><br/>“Bless him; has been for years,” said the cook, sympathetically.<br/><br/>“Since he first came here at fourteen,” said Simon the stable boy. “She used to console him after Arthur had finished abusing him.”<br/><br/>“I’m surprised you didn’t realise,” said Emma the chambermaid.<br/><br/>“It’s one of the reasons he admires you so much,” added Sarah. “You could talk to Gwen so easily that he felt safer being around her when you were there.”<br/><br/>“That’s incredible,” said Merlin unable to contain a chuckle. “I thought it was because I saved him from Arthur throwing knives at him.”<br/><br/>The ultimate irony was that originally Gwen had developed a crush of Merlin himself. He felt a little bad for Gregory, who must have been pining for Gwen all that time while she was pining for Merlin. Nonetheless the idea of Gwen and Gregory seemed ridiculous in Merlin’s head; they just didn’t fit together.<br/><br/>Now Gregory had received another slap in the face to find out about Arthur and Gwen. It seemed the poor old knife-dodging-wonder couldn’t catch a break.<br/><br/>Merlin shook his head and laughed again. “I never realised, does Gwen know?”<br/><br/>“I don’t know,” said the cook. “I think she does but is either to modest to admit it or doesn’t want to say anything in case she hurts his feelings. It’s not going to do him much good now, is it?”<br/><br/>“No,” Merlin said, as it once again dawned on him that very soon everyone in the castle would know about Arthur and Gwen. He leapt to his feet, “I’ve got to get going.”<br/><br/>“Need to be somewhere?” asked the cook.<br/><br/>“I need to speak to—” Merlin began, but stopped, wishing to remain impartial still. “I need to speak to <em>someone</em> about... something.”<br/><br/>Sarah sniggered, “No need to pretend, Merlin. It’s like Emma said; your tone of voice is proof the rumour is true.”<br/><br/>“That and you’re a terrible liar,” Erec added.<br/><br/>Merlin stopped in his tracks and lowered his head as the group of servants chuckled. “Thanks for the support, guys.” He turned to open the door when another thought occurred to him. “If you see Gwen,” he said, “then tell her I’m looking for her.”<br/><br/>“Sure,” said Erec.<br/><br/>“Also if you see her,” he added quickly. “And I’m not saying the rumours are true, but if you do see her, can you... well, don’t...”<br/><br/>“Merlin,” Sarah said, raising her hand to silence him. “Merlin, I promise you we won’t say anything to upset her; I swear on my brother’s life.”<br/><br/>Erec stared at her, “<em>I’m </em>your brother!”<br/><br/>“And that is a testament to how much Merlin can trust me,” Sarah told him with a snarky smile, and turned back to Merlin. “If we see her we’ll let her know you’re looking for her.”<br/><br/>Merlin nodded and rushed upstairs.<br/><br/>He decided to stop off there to see if Gwen had collected Fach yet before rushing to fill Arthur in on the gossip. He would have to tell Morgana too, not because she needed to know but because she would want to know and feel left out if she did not hear it from them first.<br/><br/>Merlin popped his head around the door to see Gaius sitting at the table putting together a medicine. He turned to see the head propped in the doorway.<br/><br/>“Merlin,” he said, “is there something wrong?”<br/><br/>“Yes,” Merlin said distractedly. “I mean, no... Is Fach still here?”<br/><br/>“Gwen picked her up earlier.”<br/><br/>“Did she seem... upset?”<br/><br/>Gaius tilted his head, “She seemed perfectly fine to me.”<br/><br/>That meant Gwen didn’t know yet. Merlin knew the best thing to do would be to tell her so that, once she started walking around the castle, she wouldn’t be caught off guard. There was nothing to fear from Erec and the others but the nobility were a different matter.<br/><br/>“Is something wrong?” Gaius asked.<br/><br/>Merlin wondered if he should just tell him but decided he didn’t have enough time. “You’ll find out soon enough.”<br/><br/>As Merlin closed the door Gaius shook his head and got back to his work. Gwen had seemed in a much better mood than she had been for the last few days so he was curious why Merlin would be worried.<br/><br/>Gaius was determined not to concern himself with the private lives of the younger generation any more. He would no longer worry about Arthur and Gwen or Merlin and Morgana or the other interrelationships between the four of them. The less he knew the less he would be forced to reveal to Uther should he be called upon in the near future.</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arthur walked down the hallways towards Morgana’s chambers. He didn’t know why he was bothering since Merlin hadn’t even bothered to explain why. It was curiosity that made him leave practising what he would say to his father and follow his inept manservant to this strange meeting he had called. Part of him found the whole thing amusing, like there was some sort of conspiracy.<br/><br/>He walked across the courtyard and passed several of the servants and guards. Some of them turned their heads while others stopped to watch him. It seemed strange but he thought nothing of it. Once he began to ascend the stairs and the staring went on he started to wonder what was wrong.<br/><br/>Merlin was waiting for him at the top of the stairs. “We’ve been waiting for you,” he said.<br/><br/>Arthur rolled his eyes, “For God’s sake, enough of the dramatics! What’s this all about?”<br/><br/>They both walked into the room to find Morgana and Gwen sitting at the small table with Fach sitting beneath her mistress’s skirts. She rushed out at the sight of Merlin and Arthur to greet them enthusiastically.<br/><br/>“Wow,” Arthur remarked sarcastically, leaning down to stroke the dog’s head. “Even Fach is here, it <em>must</em> be important.”<br/><br/>Gwen chuckled as Arthur took a seat next to her and Fach sat between them on the floor. Merlin stood before his three friends and clasped his hands together.<br/><br/>“Okay,” he began. “I know this seems a little weird but I thought it would be better if you heard this from me first—”<br/><br/>“Are you taking up the post of court jester?” Arthur asked, still not taking his friend seriously. “And you’re trying your new material on us?”<br/><br/>The girls laughed and Merlin scowled. “I’m trying to tell you something serious!”<br/><br/>“Are you dumping us?” Gwen quipped.<br/><br/>Morgana hid a smirk behind her hand while Arthur chocked back a snigger. Merlin rolled his eyes and looked to Arthur again; “You’re a bad influence on her!”<br/><br/>“She’s right though,” Arthur said. “You’re mumbling like a schoolboy in love. Just split it out and tell us what it is, Merlin!”<br/><br/>Merlin folded his arms. “Everyone knows.”<br/><br/>“What?” Arthur shrugged.<br/><br/>“Everyone <em>knows</em>.”<br/><br/>“<em>What?</em>”<br/><br/>“What do you mean what?” Merlin snapped back. “Everyone knows,” he pointed at Arthur and Gwen, “about you two.”<br/><br/>The three friends stopped smiling and they assumed a more serious posture. Arthur and Gwen looked at each other and Morgana looked between them and Merlin. Every single thing that happened made her remember her dream. “How do you know?” she asked.<br/><br/>“Go down to the kitchens,” Merlin advised her. “It’s all they can talk about.”<br/><br/>Arthur looked up at Merlin; annoyance in his eyes. Someone had talked and, whether it was Merlin or not, he would be the innocent bystander to feel his wrath. “How could everyone know?” he queried. “Don’t tell me <em>you</em> told someone!”<br/><br/>“Arthur I never breathed a word!” Merlin said defensively. “And I’m hurt you think I would...”<br/><br/>“That’s rich considering you quite freely accused <em>me</em> of <em>something</em> I wouldn’t do,” he said with persistence in his voice.<br/><br/>Merlin scowled, “That’s not fair! I’ve apologised <em>twice</em> and you forgave me. You <em>know</em> I wouldn’t tell anyone.”<br/><br/>Arthur took a deep breath. “You’re right I’m sorry.”<br/><br/>Gwen and Morgana glanced at each other before Gwen spoke, her voice strangely calm. “Do you know who found out?”<br/><br/>“Cecilia,” Merlin said quietly.<br/><br/>Arthur looked at him blankly and leant over to Gwen, “Cecilia, which one is she?”<br/><br/>“She’s one of the lower maids,” Gwen replied. “She works in the same wing of the castle your chambers are in.” She turned to Merlin, “It doesn’t seem like Cecilia to run around spreading rumours, though.”<br/><br/>“Cecilia told Maud,” Merlin told her. “Maud told Sarah and Erec, who then went to the kitchen at told everyone down there.”<br/><br/>Gwen rolled her eyes, “If Maud knows the whole of Camelot knows.”<br/><br/>Arthur listened to them amazed. It appeared the servants had a whole network between them that allowed them to know everything about everyone in the castle. The thing that amazed him even more was that Gwen and Merlin seemed to know most of their fellow servants by name; he couldn’t do that with half the nobility!<br/><br/>“How did this Cecilia find out?” Morgana asked, clearly as clueless about the ‘servant network’ as Arthur was.<br/><br/>Merlin looked at Arthur. “She saw you both kissing outside your chambers this morning.”<br/><br/>“But I didn’t see—” Arthur began.<br/><br/>Gwen smiled and placed a hand on his. “Arthur, you know as well as I do that there are plenty of reliable alcoves all over this castle.”<br/><br/>There was an amusing but awkward silence as images popped into both Merlin and Morgana’s minds. They weren’t sure whether they were merely imaginary or real; one could never tell with their abilities. “We won’t ask you how you know that,” Morgana commented.<br/><br/>Arthur smiled faintly. There had been many times he and Gwen had ducked into dark alcoves for moments during long days that went on forever. It never occurred to him before that other people might use the alcoves for their own purposes.<br/><br/>Merlin spoke up. “I didn’t mean to startle you both; I just didn’t want you to find out another way...”<br/><br/>Gwen nodded, “Thank you.”<br/><br/>“The question is,” Arthur sighed. “What do we do now?”<br/><br/>There was another moment of silence. It quickly dawned on Merlin and Morgana that the question excluded the two of them.<br/><br/>Morgana stood up, “If you both need somewhere to talk...”<br/><br/>“No, it’s fine,” Gwen said quickly. Both she and Arthur got to their feet. “I’ll be back in a minute.”<br/><br/>“I believe there is a vacant alcove just outside,” Arthur remarked.<br/><br/>Merlin and Morgana once again exchanged looks. They both thought of Uther’s reaction to the whole court knowing about the relationship. It was a thought that crossed Gwen’s mind also. She offered her two friends a brave smile before she turned to follow Arthur out the door.<br/><br/>It was only that morning she had been saying how she sometimes wished their relationship wasn’t secret. This situation was a testament to the saying: ‘Be careful what you wish for.’<br/><br/>Gwen followed Arthur to the narrow alcove that stood around the corner just outside Morgana’s room that very few people noticed. It was dusty, bleak and cramped making it an undesirable location for their trysts not least because it was outside Morgana’s room. There was less than an inch between them but at least there was less chance of servants seeing them.<br/><br/>“Good,” Arthur observed, “It looks like this one is unoccupied.”<br/><br/>Gwen chuckled despite herself. “It’s ironic, isn’t it?”<br/><br/>“What aspect of this situation do you find particularly ironic?”<br/><br/>“Our conversation this morning,” she said. “I said that I wished this was all out in the open, and now it is. Talk about a twist of fate.”<br/><br/>“It certainly gives meaning to the saying ‘be careful what you wish for’” Arthur agreed.<br/><br/>Gwen sighed, “Well, it’s out now and there’s little chance of denying it if someone actually saw us.”<br/><br/>“It had to be on a day when a banquet is being held to celebrate a knight joining the vow of purity,” Arthur lamented. He tried to run his hand through his hair but the space between he and Gwen was too small.<br/><br/>“It’s called the ‘order of chivalry’,” Gwen corrected.<br/><br/>“I know,” Arthur chuckled briefly. “The term ‘vow of purity’ is just something the knights call it; the ones like me who couldn’t be pure to save their life.”<br/><br/>“You can be pure,” Gwen said, tilting her head, “just a different type of pure.”<br/><br/>“These are fanatics,” Arthur replied, tilting his head also. “You and I have done things they probably can’t even pronounce,” (at which point Gwen couldn’t help bleating out a laugh), “The point is the irony won’t be lost on the courtiers either.”<br/><br/>Gwen leant against wall, “I know.”<br/><br/>Arthur was worried for Gwen. He had little to fear from court gossip as he had already been branded ‘fickle’ in regards to women despite the fact that most of the gossip was exaggerated. When he began his relationship with Gwen the first thing he had done was to debunk the rumours that were false, and confess to the ones that were true. Gwen was a more likely to be the victim of vicious court etiquette.<br/><br/>Merlin came out of Morgana’s room at that moment. He seemed awkward, fiddling with fingers as he descended the stairs. Arthur expected Merlin to stop and talk to them or at least say goodbye. Instead he shot passed the alcove without even noticing them, skipped down the stairs and left.<br/><br/>Arthur ignored him and turned back to Gwen.<br/><br/>“I wish I could protect you from what’s to come,” he finally confessed, the hopelessness evident in his voice. “Unfortunately I can’t stop them talking about you, even if we were to publically acknowledge each other before the whole court they would still talk. It’s their etiquette to put down those they perceive as inferior to them.”<br/><br/>“I don’t expect such a miracle,” Gwen joked, before she lowered her head and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I know what the court is like. I have watched their ‘etiquette’, as you call it, ever since I entered servitude. It is equivalent to a pack of wolves tearing apart a lamb.”<br/><br/>Arthur moved forward. “But if anyone says something to upset you...”<br/><br/>“I’ll just ignore them,” Gwen stated.<br/><br/>That wasn’t what Arthur meant and she knew it, but she needed to stand up for herself; to hide behind him was exactly what they would want her to do. She knew she couldn’t let Arthur fight her battles for her.<br/><br/>“After all,” she said with an assuring smile, “I’m a big, grown-up girl who can dress herself and everything.”<br/><br/>“That’s something half of them can’t do,” Arthur joked, knowing it was somewhat hypocritical for him to say.<br/><br/>“Besides,” Gwen added, moving closer to him. “Of all the things they could say about me it all boils down to two things: one, I am a commoner and two, I am a servant. There is nothing they can say that hasn’t been said before.”<br/><br/>Arthur said nothing but vowed that if any of the knights said anything he didn’t like or tried to put Gwen down within his ear shot, he would put them in place.<br/><br/>“My father wishes to speak to me after the banquet tonight,” he told her suddenly.<br/><br/>Gwen nodded slowly, “Are you certain you want to do this?”<br/><br/>Arthur leant forward and placed a kiss on her lips. There was so little space in the tiny nook that they were unable to embrace each other; all they could do was press themselves against each other.<br/><br/>“Absolutely,” he breathed.<br/><br/>“And there is nothing I can say to change your mind?” Gwen asked.<br/><br/>“Do you want me to change my mind?”<br/><br/>She shook her head. “It’s only the fear of what he’ll do to you that makes me say that.”<br/><br/>“I told you,” he said, placing a succession of brief kisses on her lips. “I’m not worried about what he’ll do to me.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Morgana turned to Merlin as Arthur and Gwen left the room.<br/><br/>“Something’s going to happen,” she said fragilely. “I know it.”<br/><br/>He looked at her, firmness in his eyes. “You can’t tell them; they wouldn’t understand.”<br/><br/>“I know that,” she said drawing closer to him. “But this feeling...”<br/><br/>“A sense of doom,” Merlin said, his expression softened. “I know the feeling, I feel it too, but we’ll do more damage interfering.”<br/><br/>“You believe that?” she queried.<br/><br/>Merlin was beginning to take his role as Morgana’s tutor and advisor in terms of magic very seriously. In trying to give her sound advice he found himself prematurely aged. He was saying what Gaius told him; it was only his warnings of what might happen if Morgana were exposed for what she was that made him say the mature advice rather than the Merlin advice.<br/><br/>“Believe me,” he finally said. “I’ve been there and done it. You may try to do the right thing but it blows up in your face. Gaius said I should stop doing it, so I will.”<br/><br/>Morgana sighed, “I suppose you’re right.”<br/><br/>“Besides,” Merlin added, putting in his own thoughts after all, “it’s none of our business. We can’t, you know, tell them what they should do or steer them in the direction we think is best...”<br/><br/>“You’re right,” she said with a nod. “All we can do is support them.”<br/><br/>The pair of them stood silently for a moment as they considered what to do or say. Merlin wondered if he should just leave although he didn’t want to and Morgana searched her head for conversation to keep him there with her.<br/><br/>“I thought about you this morning,” Morgana suddenly said, thinking of how she had laid there until daybreak in a semi-conscious state with nothing but the dream and Merlin on her mind. She looked up and noticed Merlin’s cheeks had reddened and he was awkwardly slanting to one side on his feet. It occurred to her how the sentence had sounded. “By that I mean,” she went on, “about seeing you in the dream.”<br/><br/>“Oh,” Merlin said, still embarrassed. “You didn’t by any case see what I was up to in the dream, did you?”<br/><br/>Morgana shook her head, “I’m afraid not. I didn’t go back to sleep after you left, I just sort of lay there and thought.”<br/><br/>“Oh well,” he said, walking over to where Fach was sitting, waiting for Gwen to come back. “I suppose one day we’ll get somewhere...”<br/><br/>“Hmm,” Morgana said absently. A nagging question then bubbled up from in her, “I know this isn’t the best time to ask but...”<br/><br/>“Yes?”<br/><br/>“I was wondering whether, if you don’t mind, we could continue our...” she paused and lowered her voice lest Arthur and Gwen might overhear, “...lessons.”<br/><br/>Merlin smiled, “Sure if you want.”<br/><br/>Morgana couldn’t help beaming at his agreement. “Good, I’ve been working on the apple and pear ‘trick’.”<br/><br/>“Got any better?”<br/><br/>“Yes,” she nodded, “and confusing Gwen at the same time with it. It’s a good job I like apples.”<br/><br/>Merlin tilted his head at her enthusiasm. He didn’t know why but her excitement over the simple spells made him feel happy. It reminded him of how pleased he had been when he succeeded in his first transformation spell, although it was considerably harder to turn inanimate stone into a living animal.<br/><br/>At that moment felt the warm, slightly painful, feeling in his chest again. That was the signal that told him to stop smiling, look away and pull himself together. He felt idiotic when he got that sensation. The worst part was that it was so similar to the moment they first touched; the same mind spinning numbness that had floored them. They were used to that connection now but it was still there and it only intensified the pain in his chest. Like the kiss had done, too.<br/><br/>The thing that embarrassed Merlin more than anything was that he had, unwillingly, been inside her mind once or twice. He knew Morgana felt the same sensations and that it troubled her too... and that she, like him, was unwilling to admit the truth...<br/><br/>At that moment Merlin and Morgana came to their senses. The long pause got the better of both of them. They both chuckled nervously. Merlin decided it was time to leave.<br/><br/>“I should get going,” Merlin said, pointing to the door behind him. “I don’t want that guard catching me again...”<br/><br/>“No, no” Morgana agreed, sorry to see him leaving as always. “I’ll see you later, won’t I?”<br/><br/>Merlin turned and smiled in his old, traditional manner. “Of course you will; I’ll be serving the drinks!”<br/><br/>He then left through the door, immediately cutting off the desire to stop and continue talking. The tightness in his chest was sharpening and the only way to quell it was to move as far away from Morgana as possible. It was harder than it sounded in his head. But he had to, he <em>had</em> to!<br/><br/>Merlin was so wrapped up in his own thoughts he didn’t even notice Arthur and Gwen squashed into the alcove near Morgana’s door. He had almost forgotten they were there in the first place.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Gwen found the following hours walking around the castle were a nightmare. The gossip truly had spread like wildfire. It might have been even worse had Merlin not given her a heads up. Otherwise she would have walked around clueless, going mad wondering why she was being shunned and looked down on.<br/><br/>Nonetheless she still felt the bubbling feeling of paranoia. The only one in the castle who didn’t seem to know now was the king, who had shut himself off for the morning. The moment he emerged from his hibernation he would know immediately.<br/><br/>Gwen wondered exactly what everyone was saying about her and Arthur. He had warned her that a majority of what the nobility said about anything would be exaggerated. That told her to expect the worst.<br/><br/>Both servants and courtiers were talking about it, and both men and women although it was evidently the noblewomen who look the most interest in her.<br/><br/>The servants just looked at her; some smiled, some laughed and some greeted her as usual. It surprised her that hardly any of them were being cruel to her face. If they had it might have prepared her for facing the nobility.<br/><br/>As the morning came to a close Gwen decided to go down to the kitchen and face her fellow servants. She hoped she might win some favour with them if they truly were all laughing at her behind her back.<br/><br/>However in order to get to the kitchens she had to walk through the halls of residence within the castle. Gwen took a deep breath before she began to make her way there, knowing she would meet some of the nobility.<br/><br/>As she wandered down the corridor she passed the freshly painted sneering faces of the noblewomen they touched their cheeks as if to assure themselves that they were <em>much</em> prettier than her. Some of them probably were, although it was unfair to judge the modest maid servant against the pampered ladies.<br/><br/>The young and unmarried ladies of the court who were the same age as Gwen made a point of whispering insults about her just loud enough for her to hear as she walked passed. They were all the insults and jealous slurs she had expected from them, none of them she wished to repeat again; despite having expected them they still stung.<br/><br/>The older noblewomen gave her dirty looks. Gwen knew what <em>they</em> were thinking; they thought she was a tart, a common little floor scrubber. At least they only privately off loaded their thoughts to their idiotic husbands who, in turn, shook their heads at her; they believed her interest in Arthur was purely financial.<br/><br/>The retired knights and noblemen muttered about the fact Gwen’s father had—<em>disgracefully</em>—been a traitor to the kingdom and had been killed by the guards while trying to escape ‘justice.’ Therefore, to them, it was obvious that she was money-seeking.<br/><br/>This picked at wounds still healing, and was one of the worse parts of the gossip.<br/><br/>Gwen walked around the outside of the castle just outside the kitchens by the training field. She tried to avoid eye-contact with the knights training there despite having caught sight of Arthur. His back was turned and she didn’t want to alert herself to him; this would only make matters worse.<br/><br/>She saw Merlin was standing close by Arthur with Gregory but neither of them noticed her. Even from her view point she could see Gregory was sad about something and Merlin was trying to cheer him up. She wondered if she should talk to him about it; misery loved company.<br/><br/>It became clear to her that the exciting news hadn’t quite reached all of the knights yet. It was probably Arthur’s presence that slowed up the few that did know telling the others.<br/><br/>The knights that did know motioned those that didn’t to them and, after whispering boyishly, let out a boisterous cheer of approval. Nearby Percival shook his head at them in disapproval; he almost certainly knew but he wouldn’t lower himself to gossiping.<br/><br/>Gwen turned towards the outward stairs to the kitchen when she ran straight into Lamorak. He was the sort of knight that, when he came to have his horse’s shoes done or sword sheered, Tom had warned her to stay away from him.<br/><br/>“Excuse me,” she said politely keeping her head down.<br/><br/>He stood with his leg outstretched across the stairway to the kitchen as he munched on an apple. While he was stood there all Gwen could do was hope he would move.<br/><br/>“There’s a lot of talk about you this morning,” he remarked after a long silence. “I must say it came as a shock to me.”<br/><br/>Gwen said nothing; there was nothing to say.<br/><br/>“If had been any other maid—and I should tell you now we’ve been through our fair share of them—I wouldn’t have been surprised,” he went on, the ‘we’ve’ no doubt referring to Arthur and himself, “But <em>you</em>?”<br/><br/>She still remained silent, knowing that he was trying to provoke a reaction out of her.<br/><br/>“I suppose <em>every</em> woman has a price,” he said, moving away from the entrance to the kitchen. As he walked passed her he stopped to run hand across her shoulder. “You’re not the sort of woman that puts out for charity like the others do,” he added, patting carefully, “I understand that.”<br/><br/>Lamorak swiftly strode away back to the training field leaving Gwen feeling humiliated. Up until then she thought the sneers about her father were the worst but to be treated like that by one of Arthur’s ‘friends’ was the cherry to top an awful morning.<br/><br/>It had started out so good too.<br/><br/>Gwen recovered herself before she dared venture down into kitchens. She didn’t know what she would greet there; more insults? Eventually she gritted her teeth and went down the stairs to face her peers.<br/><br/>The hustle and bustle around her grinded to a halt the moment she walked through the door. The cook looked up from her work, the kitchen servants silenced themselves and, in the middle of the room, as it was just after lunch, she saw some of more her fellow servants resting before the lunchtime rush began.<br/><br/>There was, among others: Sarah, Cecilia and Erec. They looked at each other before they got to the feet.<br/><br/>“Hi Gwen,” said Sarah with a nervous smile. “Are you feeling alright?”<br/><br/>She decided not to like about it. “Terrible.”<br/><br/>“I’m not surprised,” the cook grumbled. The awkwardness of the servants and even the cook was enough to drive the young maid mad. Had it not been for what followed she might well had.<br/><br/>The cook turned to Gwen: “I made your lady’s lunch today since I figured you’d have a lot on your mind.”<br/><br/>This one gesture of kindness nearly reduced Gwen to tears; it was a small thing but it meant the world after the abuse she had just received merely by walking through the castle.<br/><br/>“Thank you,” she croaked. “I’ll make it up to you...”<br/><br/>“Don’t be silly!” the cook said, pointing to the table. “Sit down, it’ll be ready soon.”<br/><br/>Gwen stood gingerly for a moment at the other servants remained standing. Cecilia then pulled out a chair for her; her face was filled with guilt. “I really very sorry Gwen,” her voice sounded as if someone had died. “I didn’t think I just... saw it and told Maud without thinking...”<br/><br/>“It’s alright,” Gwen said quickly. “There’s no point crying about it... not that you’re crying, of course, I mean... there’s no point crying over spilt milk.”<br/><br/>“It’s a bit more than spilt milk,” Erec muttered.<br/><br/>Gwen sighed and sat down in the chair Cecilia had offered. “But there’s still no use crying about it,” Gwen told them. “Everyone knows now; if it would have all come out soon anyway...”<br/><br/>That was true; if Arthur was going to reject Elaine there was little chance they could have kept the lid on it after that.<br/><br/>“So it really is true?” said Sarah. “You weren’t just snogging him? It wasn’t just a one, or rather two time thing... he is your lover?”<br/><br/>Gwen sat with her arms folded on the table. She looked up and nodded, “It is true.”<br/><br/>“Bloody hell,” Erec remarked.<br/><br/>“Language!” the cook snapped and the other servants including Gwen laughed quietly.<br/><br/>“But,” Sarah said in admiration, “the thing I still find amazing is that it is you. I always thought you disliked Arthur.”<br/><br/>Gwen kept her smile, “That’s <em>exactly</em> what he said. I didn’t dislike him I just didn’t like the way he treated some people, like Gregory. Once I spent more time with him...”<br/><br/>Cecilia sighed romantically, “My favourite kind.”<br/><br/>“Oh God,” Erec laughed, “Cecilia’s getting all starry eyed again!”<br/><br/>“Leave her alone or I’ll break your other arm,” Sarah joked. She turned back to Gwen, “Seriously the other servants are really interested with this news.”<br/><br/>“Interested,” Gwen repeated. “I don’t like the sound of that.”<br/><br/>“No, in a good way,” Sarah added quickly. “I mean some of them are jealous that it’s you and not them, particularly the ones of, well, ‘ill repute’... but most of us <em>like</em> it. You’re like an inspiration. This is the stuff that legends are made of really.”<br/><br/>Gwen shifted nervously, “My life at the moment isn’t exactly a poem written by a bard.”<br/><br/>“Our point is,” Erec said, “we’re on your side.”<br/><br/>“<em>Definitely</em>,” Cecilia said firmly.<br/><br/>There was a murmur of approval from Sarah, the cook and the other kitchen workers who had been listening in. This tugged at Gwen’s heart in a way that mattered to her. She smiled in gratitude, “Thank you.”<br/><br/>“And if you want,” Sarah added, “we can fill you in on what the noble cows say.”<br/><br/>Gwen shook her head; “There are some things it’s best for a person not to know.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>“I see” Uther said looking over the latest army numbers reported from Lot and Urien from Rheged. “If these numbers are accurate this means that Claudius’s following has already grown to the point where he could take Elmet.”<br/><br/>“Indeed,” Áedh said grimly. “Thankfully my own king’s kingdoms are secure. Moreover, while he could <em>take</em> Elmet the army is still too small to <em>hold</em> it... but if he does take Elmet he may well try to make an alliance with the Saxons and push down southward.”<br/><br/>Uther put the paper down, “That means Mercia and Lindsey may both aid him against our cause.”<br/><br/>The ambassador nodded, “These Saxon types can’t be trusted, though. There is a chance they will only use Claudius to achieve their ends here in the south.”<br/><br/>“That is undoubtedly true,” Uther agreed, “but it does not really aid us currently. Is there any known plan to invade Elmet?”<br/><br/>“None from Prince Claudius, no” Áedh said. “The boy is far too foolish to have a plan and not boast about it weeks before it is carried out. It’s all a case of how long it takes his barons to suggest it to him.”<br/><br/>Uther shook his head. He would have to call a meeting of the head of the army, the knights and the lords to discuss a plan action. If the war did spread to the south of Albion and the Saxons were mobilised again it would not only be a case sending armies to fight with Lot. They would have to find men to fight in the south and protect not only Camelot but the <em>whole of Dumnonia</em>.<br/><br/>That was the problem, and Áedh knew it. “How about the other south kingdoms?” he inquired, knowing the answer already. “If they allied against Claudius then Mercia would be unlikely to mobilise its army.”<br/><br/>“Apart from Dumnonia there are only minor kingdoms but it is possible,” Uther agreed, considering how such an alliance could be formed as the minor kingdoms were famed for their ‘sitting duck’ foreign policy. “I shall have to discuss this with the Privy Council.”<br/><br/>Áedh nodded, “Very good, sire.”<br/><br/>They changed their papers ready to discuss the issue of the upcoming marriage. It amazed Áedh that in the midst of the greatest national crisis for Albion since the Saxons arrived, Uther still found time to organise a marriage.<br/><br/>Áedh decided to raise one last issue, one that Anna had specifically requested he raise while Uther was away from the Privy Council. “I was wondering,” he began confidently, “is there any chance that the Duke of Cornwall might aid the cause?”<br/><br/>Uther twitched slightly, an effect the mention of Cador frequently had. “I wouldn’t know, we rarely speak these days. Why do you ask?”<br/><br/>“My queen understands that he has a large army,” Áedh stated.<br/><br/>“I understand that Anna—I mean your queen—thinks it would be best if she came to Camelot to help negotiate an alliance,” Uther said to Áedh, changing the subject.<br/><br/>Áedh looked up and smiled, “Where did you hear that if you don’t mind my asking, sire?”<br/><br/>“It’s just something I heard on the grapevine,” Uther replied with a smile.<br/><br/>“You are well informed, sire.”<br/><br/>Uther nodded. He knew there was no point trying to be one step ahead of Anna but he always tried to be one step behind her so he could try and work out where she was going.<br/><br/>“I think it is a brilliant idea,” Uther remarked suddenly. “It seems ridiculous that we constantly exchange letters on the subject. It would be best if it could all be arranged here or in Eidin.”<br/><br/>That was a lie. Uther would have preferred a marriage by proxy, in Eidin, and then Elaine could have been ‘shipped’ down to Camelot. That way the marriage was out of the way before the war broke out and before Arthur had time to plan an escape. He dreaded the thought of facing Anna in reality because of her ability to play the game of politics; it was a game Uther rarely won against her.<br/><br/>Áedh smiled, “The queen believes it would be better if the meeting takes place here in the south due to the up rest in the north.”<br/><br/>“It would also give me a chance to draw up the military plans,” Uther agreed. “Then Anna could pass them along to Lot.”<br/><br/>There was a knock at the door and George stepped in. “Forgive me for interrupting, sire, but the court genealogist wishes to see you in regards to tonight’s ceremony.”<br/><br/>“Ah!” Uther said swiftly to Áedh, deciding to finish up the meeting. “The banquet tonight to celebrate one of the younger knights taking the oath of chivalry.”<br/><br/>“Indeed,” Áedh said gathering up his papers. “I shall leave you to your business, sire.”<br/><br/>“Thank you, Áedh” Uther replied and watched as the ambassador left through the side door. Once he was gone Uther nodded to George, “Send him in.”<br/><br/>“Yes, sire”<br/><br/>George opened the door wider and Geoffrey of Monmouth walked into the council room. The old man bowed his head as the servant left. The king got to his feet, “Geoffrey.”<br/><br/>“Sire,” Geoffrey began. “I have brought the list of knights who have undertaken the oath of chivalry in the past as requested, sire.”<br/><br/>“Excellent,” Uther remarked, taking the list. “There are quite a collection of names on this list.”<br/><br/>“Yes,” the old man replied. “I took the liberty of... removing the names of knights who broke their vows or... your majesty might wish to remain unmentioned.”<br/><br/>Uther knew he was talking about two people in particular; one was Tristan and the other was Cador. While even he would admit, to him, Cador was considerably nobler than Tristan they had both undertaken the vow for one reason: the women they had loved refused them.<br/><br/>“Thank you,” the king said finally. “Is there anything else?”<br/><br/>Geoffrey stood, dreading the next part of his reason for seeing the king. “Yes, there is one other thing, sire.”<br/><br/>The king waited, “Yes?”<br/><br/>The old man cleared his throat and finally came out with it, “It is in regards to Prince Arthur.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>As the afternoon wore lazily on Gwen decided to take Fach for a walk around the castle to stretch her legs. It was around the time many of the castle dogs were walked so one more would go unnoticed. There was also a chance that she would run into Merlin, who might also be on dog-walking duty, meaning there was a chance of Fach playing with Howell and the other dogs.<br/><br/>The servants of the castle all seemed less daunting after lunchtime with Sarah and the others. As the lunchtime rush hit many servants, including Merlin, went to the kitchen to offer their support. Many of them wanted to know more information. Gwen refused to tell them but it was comforting to know she had some allies.<br/><br/>There were very few nobles around as many of them were resting, like Morgana, or already getting ready for tonight’s banquet. It gave Gwen time to focus herself, practise her composure and think about the ceremony that night. She would be there with the other servants serving drinks and facing the entire court of Camelot including the king.<br/><br/>The only comfort she had would be the other servants, Merlin, Morgana and, of course, Arthur would all be in the same room. Gwen felt that if she could get through tonight she could get through anything.<br/><br/>As Gwen and Fach neared the door to the castle grounds the little dog rushed ahead at the sound of other dogs outside. Gwen smiled and rushed to catch up. Around the corner, just as he had been by the kitchen that morning, Lamorak was standing there.<br/><br/>It was as if he had been waiting for her although it was unlikely; how could he know she was going to take her dog for a walk?<br/><br/>Gwen nodded politely. “Good afternoon, Sir Lamorak.”<br/><br/>“Good afternoon,” he said pleasantly. “Nice little companion you have there.”<br/><br/>“Yes, I should be catching up to her,” Gwen said trying to walk past him.<br/><br/>Lamorak stepped in front of her, blocking her way. “I imagine it must be quite tiring with all this gossip floating around.”<br/><br/>Gwen tried to get past again, “Sir, if you would—”<br/><br/>He blocked her again, “In some ways I have to admire you...”<br/><br/>“Please, sir, I must catch up to my dog—”<br/><br/>“It can wait!” he said authoritatively.<br/><br/>Gwen stopped, realising that she was going nowhere. She felt the same sickly feeling had had that morning when she was confronted with him, the way he had mocked her while chewing on that apple and callously throwing it to one side as he felt. Lamorak was a good looking man but he couldn’t have made himself uglier in that moment if he had tried.<br/><br/>She maintained her composure and smiled, “Was there something that you wanted, sir?”<br/><br/>Lamorak snorted with laughter at her attempt to remain civil; he knew deep down she wished she could just thump him. That didn’t bother him at all.<br/><br/>“I was just curious to know,” he finally said, “what it took for a prudish little maid like you to fall off your high horse and climb onto a royal one.”<br/><br/>Gwen’s eyes widened. It was hard not to as there were so many spins one could put on that statement. She began to falter and fell into her old habit of backtracking and stumbling. “I... don’t know what you mean by that,” she mumbled out. “I should probably...”<br/><br/>She tried to walk past again but he took hold of her by the forehand. It felt as if he had scolded her. “I imagine it must have taken a lot of time to wear you down,” he remarked.<br/><br/>Gwen had had enough and she tried to yank her arm free, “Let me go!”<br/><br/>Her bid for freedom was unsuccessful and she ended up being pushed backwards against the wall. She knew he was trying to wind her up and frighten her, and it was working. Unable to do anything else she glared up at him.<br/><br/>Lamorak laughed, “Did you put on this performance for Arthur too, or am I just lucky?”<br/><br/>At that moment Merlin and Gregory walked along but went unnoticed by either Lamorak or Gwen. It didn’t take long for them to work out what was going on. Merlin was just about to confront Lamorak when suddenly, out of nowhere, Gregory squawked: “<em>Leave her alone</em>!”<br/><br/>It had been such an unpleasant sound that Lamorak turned rather unshaken to look at the two menservants watching him. He was surprised to see it was Gregory that had sounded at him. Merlin shared his surprise as did, it seemed, Gregory who stood there with fists shaking with anger and a faltering face trying to stay strong as well as control anger.<br/><br/>Lamorak snorted; “Or what?”<br/><br/>“Just,” Gregory strained out, “<em>Leave her alone</em>!”<br/><br/>Lamorak realised his painful grasp on Gwen’s forearm and advanced upon the two servants. Merlin was better at hiding his exposure than Gregory who looked like he was about to explode.<br/><br/>The knight found Gregory’s state amusing and gave him a mocking look: “Alright,” he said sarcastically. “I’ve let her go, but now what? See, you insulted me.”<br/><br/>“You better leave now,” Merlin said firmly.<br/><br/>“Why, what are you going to do?” Lamorak asked.<br/><br/>“Leave it, Merlin” Gwen said from her newfound safe distance.<br/><br/>“I could tell you,” Merlin replied, only half hearing Gwen’s request. “But it would be a waste of breath.”<br/><br/>Lamorak stared at him with an unsettling smile. “You should keep your mouth shut, Merlin. Sometimes you seem to forget that you’re just a servant,” he glanced over his shoulder at Gwen who just looked at him. Of the three faces watching him hers was unreadable. “And you’re not the only one around here…”<br/><br/>“Then leave us alone!” Gregory barked.<br/><br/>Lamorak rolled his eyes and addressed Merlin. “Call your mutt off, he’s starting to irritate me.”<br/><br/>“Then stop taunting him,” Merlin told him, feeling his blood starting to boil.<br/><br/>Lamorak ignored Merlin’s look of contempt. He looked at each one of them in turn from Merlin to Gregory to Gwen. “I have no intention of listening to the likes of you; a lackey, a lapdog and a whore.”<br/><br/>Merlin reached the end of his tether. Before any of them knew what was happening he took a swing at Lamorak and, unlike previous attempts with Arthur, he managed to land the hit causing the knight to stumble backwards.<br/><br/>Gwen gasped, “Merlin!”<br/><br/>Lamorak wiped blood from his face. He was stunned by the hard and unexpected attack from the young manservant, but also glad as he now had an excuse launch his own attack. Everyone knew Lamorak had a vile temper, his poor young manservant Erec was proof of it, and they knew he could do terrible damage when it was unleashed.<br/><br/>He tried to hit Merlin back but Merlin’s swift moving eyes avoided the attack. However Lamorak used his other hand to grab hold of the servant’s neck and pressure him against the wall making it painful and difficult for him to breathe.<br/><br/>Another hand had seized Lamorak’s wrist. Merlin opened his eyes; it was Arthur.<br/><br/>“Let him go, Lamorak,” he said calmly. “We all feel like killing Merlin at one time or another, but tragically it’s just his way. Let him go.”<br/><br/>Lamorak obeyed. Merlin slumped to the ground and groaned as he rubbed his neck. Gwen rushed over and knelt beside him while Gregory continued to stare at Lamorak with a look of unsuited fury.<br/><br/>Arthur glanced down at Merlin; despite the fact he frequently abused Merlin during sword practise he found attempted strangulation too much.<br/><br/>Lamorak grunted a little at Arthur’s strong grasp on his wrist. “I was merely putting him back in his place.”<br/><br/>Arthur tightened the grip, “If you were floored by Merlin’s girly punch...”<br/><br/>“Hey,” Merlin said quickly. “I hit him didn’t I?”<br/><br/>“...then there is something seriously wrong.”<br/><br/>He let Lamorak go. The knight held his wrist, trying to remain dignified. As she watched the scene Gwen wondered if Lamorak still felt he had been justified in nearly choking Merlin.<br/><br/>Merlin looked at Gwen, “That’s what I get for defending your honour.”<br/><br/>Arthur glanced down at them, realising immediately what this whole affair had been about. He almost felt like throwing Lamorak through the wall at that moment. Arthur knew what he was like; he had once considered him a friend, he may have even been a little like him once, but now things were different.<br/><br/>He turned back to Lamorak, “Get on your way.”<br/><br/>Lamorak stalled for a moment running his dark eyes between the faces of Merlin, Gwen and Gregory before he made off. Just as he turned to leave Arthur grabbed him by the forearm, just as Lamorak had done with Gwen, only the grasp was even tighter.<br/><br/>“One more thing,” he told his peer. “Leave Guinevere alone in future; if I catch you bothered her again Erec won’t be the only one with a broken arm, understand?”<br/><br/>“Yes,” Lamorak grunted from the pain of the gasp.<br/><br/>Arthur released him from the grasp. “You can pass that along to the other knights as well.”<br/><br/>Lamorak paused for a moment before he stalked off in the opposite direction. The moment he left there was a large, euphoric sigh from Merlin, Gwen and Gregory who finally swallowed his rage and breathed in relief.<br/><br/>Arthur looked back to Merlin, still slumped on the floor. “Are you alright?”<br/><br/>He nodded, “Fine.”<br/><br/>Gwen helped Merlin back on his feet; once he was standing again he seemed back to normal, chipper and cheerful. Merlin was used to much worse. After being thrown against walls, zapped by powerful magic and even being momentarily killed twice, being chocked by some spoilt noble was nothing.<br/><br/>“Did he hurt you?” Arthur asked Gwen.<br/><br/>She rubbed her forearm but smiled and shook her head. “It’s nothing really... he was taught his lesson.”<br/><br/>“After harassing you and throttling Merlin he’s lucky I didn’t break his arm,” Arthur said, pleased that he had managed to keep control of his temper. It still bubbled underneath, though. “If he ever does bother you again I swear I’ll carry out that promise.”<br/><br/>He then turned to Merlin.<br/><br/>“Thank you for stepping in the way you did,” he said as he managed to smile. “And... good job on landing that punch; you’re getting better.”<br/><br/>Merlin tilted his head, “Is that a compliment?”<br/><br/>“Don’t push it,” Arthur warned.<br/><br/>Merlin stepped back and nodded. “Thanks, but I can’t take all the credit, there was Gregory too; completely stood his ground.”<br/><br/>Gregory, who had been standing there in silence, was overcome with a red blush as the prince turned to him. Prior to the arrival Merlin Gregory had been the target of Arthur’s taunts and insults. It was a whole new experience for the prince to actually seem impressed with him.<br/><br/>“I would never have believed it,” Arthur remarked.<br/><br/>Gregory nodded shyly, “I was just doing my bit, sire.”<br/><br/>He glanced up to see Gwen smiling gratefully at him. His blush deepened and he immediately plotted his escape. He hated the idea of Gwen seeming him so awkward or the prince seeing him become awkward because of her. It would be like a nightmare realised.<br/><br/>“I should be going,” he announced.<br/><br/>As they watched Gregory leave Merlin thought of something and leant over to whisper in Gwen’s ear.<br/><br/>“Give him a kiss,” he whispered.<br/><br/>She looked up at him in surprise. “What?”<br/><br/>“Just to say thank you,” he told her. “All it needs to be is a quick peck on the cheek.”<br/><br/>“I’ll embarrass him.”<br/><br/>“You won’t I promise,” Merlin assured her with a smile. “Believe me, he’ll appreciate it.”<br/><br/>Gwen did not give it a second thought. “Gregory!”<br/><br/>He turned and she rushed up to him. He stared at her blankly as she cupped his face and smiled before placing a quick and chaste kiss on his cheek. One blink and you would have missed it.<br/><br/>He looked at her in shock as she pulled away and said: “Thank you.”<br/><br/>Then she turned walked away. Behind her Gregory touched the place where her lips had kissed his cheek and dreamily walked off in the opposite direction.<br/><br/>She exchanged her smile with both Arthur and Merlin before she walked passed them, beckoning them to follow. “I need to find Fach,” her voice called as she strode out into the garden.<br/><br/>Arthur turned to Merlin. “What was <em>that</em> about?”<br/><br/>“Gregory has a crush on Gwen,” Merlin said simply. “And she was just thanking him.”<br/><br/>Arthur stared blankly at Merlin for a moment. Instead of the anger he felt about Lamorak’s behaviour he just laughed. He certainly didn’t feel jealous, or at least not enough to stop him laughing.<br/><br/>“Poor old Greg,” he chuckled. “I suppose it wouldn’t be fair to threaten <em>him</em> to stay away from her, would it?”<br/><br/>“Not when he’s finally grown his backbone,” Merlin joked as they followed after Gwen. “You’ll set him back if you confront him with it.”</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gaius turned up at Uther’s chambers just as Geoffrey was leaving.<br/><br/>“Geoffrey,” Gaius greeted his old friend. “Is the king there? He wished me to stop by this afternoon.”<br/><br/>“Yes,” the librarian replied, pointing behind him. “He’s just in there if you wish to see him.”<br/><br/>Gaius smiled, “Thank you.”<br/><br/>He walked past Geoffrey to go in when his friend stopped him again. “I don’t suppose you’ve heard the rumours going around?” he asked.<br/><br/>Gaius remembered that morning Merlin had said something about gossip or rumours, “Which ones are they? I have been in my chambers all day today.”<br/><br/>“Regarding the prince and that handmaiden,” Geoffrey replied. “You know, Thomas’s daughter.”<br/><br/>Suddenly he realised just why Merlin was in such an eager rush to find Gwen and the others to tell them about this rumour. Gaius nodded, “I do know of it, yes.”<br/><br/>“I told the king as I wasn’t sure whether he knew,” Geoffrey explained, folding his arms. “He seemed rather surprised to find out about the gossip, but then again I was too, after all it is young Gwen we’re talking about...”<br/><br/>Gaius folded his own arms; once Geoffrey started talking there was no stopping him.<br/><br/>“I must say it did come as a surprise,” he went on, “not least because I have frequently seen them together over the last few months. I remember thinking then it was odd, the way they were behaving.”<br/><br/>“Yes”<br/><br/>“It was only a week or so ago that I saw them both in the library,” he continued. “The thing that puzzled me was why. Unfortunately I had to deliver some papers to Sir Ector so I was unable to...”<br/><br/>He then stopped as a thought crossed his mind. Gaius bit his lips and nodded his head, knowing what Geoffrey was thinking. All of a sudden his friend had an urge to go back to the library and make sure was in order at the back of the library where no one, not even he, ever went.<br/><br/>“I think I should be getting back now,” the old man said eagerly.<br/><br/>Gaius patted him on the back and smiled, “I’ll see you later.”<br/><br/>Gaius knocked before entering. Inside he found the king sitting in his chair with a goblet of wine in his hands, brooding.<br/><br/>He closed the door. “Sire, I apologise for not coming sooner I had a lot of work to get through.”<br/><br/>“That’s fine, Gaius.”<br/><br/>“Was there anything you needed, sire?” he asked. “Are you unwell?”<br/><br/>Uther put the goblet down, “I have been finding it difficult to sleep recently. I feel restless all the time. I was wondering if you could prescribe something.”<br/><br/>Gaius nodded, “Of course, sire.”<br/><br/>“There’s something else,” the king went on. Gaius expected that he would straight away mention the rumour Geoffrey had just mentioned, but to his surprise this wasn’t the case. “You were right about Anna; she wishes to come to Camelot to discuss the alliance between our kingdoms.”<br/><br/>“I thought as much,” Gaius said.<br/><br/>“Áedh confirmed it at our meeting,” Uther said. “I told him I approved of the idea.”<br/><br/>“Even though you don’t”<br/><br/>Uther covered his mouth thoughtfully. “I can hardly refuse her when she’s offering to come here. It makes me wonder what on earth she’s planning to do.”<br/><br/>“You think she has a plan?”<br/><br/>“This is Anna we’re talking about, Gaius!” Uther replied, unable to hide a nervous laugh. “She’s the sort of woman who follows you down a narrow ally way and comes out first.”<br/><br/>Gaius smiled, “She was always hard to second guess.”<br/><br/>“You <em>can’t</em> second guess her,” Uther corrected him. “Just when I think I have her figured out... I don’t.”<br/><br/>“It’s just as well she is on your side,” Gaius agreed. “I would hate to have her as an enemy.”<br/><br/>“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” Uther laughed again. He looked up at his old ally, “I suppose you’ve heard that Arthur’s relationship with that maid servant is now public knowledge.”<br/><br/>Gaius said nothing but his face indicated that he had.<br/><br/>Uther nodded, “I knew it would only be a matter of time, that’s why I have already been in contact with Anna about the subject.”<br/><br/>Gaius’s eyes widened. “Forgive me, sire, but is it really that important that Anna should involve herself.”<br/><br/>“She has been surprisingly sympathetic so far,” Uther said carefully. “It made me suspicious at first but I assume she wishes to avoid her daughter being embarrassed.”<br/><br/>“I suppose, sire.”<br/><br/>Gaius was not convinced. He thought Uther was right when he said Anna probably had a plan. The problem was that he couldn’t figure out for the life of him what she was doing, if she was doing anything.<br/><br/>“Never mind that for now,” Uther said, standing up. “Anna said she would help me deal with the situation and that’s the end of it. Thank you for coming to see me, Gaius. I think both of us should prepare for the ceremony tonight.”<br/><br/>“Yes, sire” Gaius said, bowing his head politely. “I will prepare a remedy to aid your sleep for you night.”<br/><br/>“Thank you,” the king said, turning to leave via the back door. Before he exited through it he stood with his hand resting on the door handle. “I don’t see why I need to worry in any case; when that girl faces the court tonight the pressure will doubtless become too much. I have never met a servant yet who could stand the public life their masters endure.”<br/><br/>“I suppose,” Gaius said, again unconvinced. He knew that Gwen was made of harder stuff.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>The ceremony for Sir Bors’s to take the oath of chivalry went swimmingly despite being overshadowed by court gossip. The oath itself was comical to many knights anyway. Every knight was expected to be chivalrous but to take the oath meant to dedicate your entire life to soldiering, vowing to remain unmarried and childless—hence the term among the knights ‘the vow of purity.’<br/><br/>As Arthur had predicted the nobility likened the purity of Sir Bors to the exploits of their prince, and just as Uther had feared many of them joked that Arthur’s behaviour would almost certainly put a down Princess Elaine, a girl known to be lively but utterly virtuous.<br/><br/>The moment Gwen walked into the room all eyes turned on her including the king’s. Uther was curious to see whether she would crack, hold her head high or act callously.<br/><br/>Before they had gone in Merlin had quickly grasped her hand and squeezed it reassuringly.<br/><br/>“Good luck,” he had whispered, “and remember, don’t listen to what they have to say.”<br/><br/>She smiled uncertainly, “I’m not frightened of that lot.”<br/><br/>Gwen carried out duties like nothing was different. She refused to let her personal life interrupt her work. She was a servant and would not behave as anything else unless told otherwise. She knew the nobility wanted her to crack; to cry, scream or behave like the uppity servant they all expected her to be.<br/><br/>She forced a smile and carried on with dignity; this annoyed the nobility even more and worsened the insults. After circulating the room more than once Gwen realised terms like ‘a common little floor scrubber’ had caught on, as had punning the word ‘handmaiden.’<br/><br/>Morgana had promised Gwen that she wouldn’t lose it at the younger noblewomen who made petty remarks about her. It was easier said than done; when Lady Blanchefleur, a young woman rumoured to be engaged to Percival, said something especially derogatory about Gwen Morgana couldn’t stop her mouth.<br/><br/>“<em>Very</em> original,” she said sarcastically. “If you’re going to stab someone in the back the least you can do say something new.”<br/><br/>“I don’t see why you are defending her,” Lady Blanchefleur laughed. “I’d be furious if I found out <em>my</em> maid had behaved like <em>that</em>, especially if she’d had an affair with someone who had rejected me years ago.”<br/><br/>Morgana’s face twitched with underlying anger but she pushed it back and instead made a mocking smile. “I know how much you hate to be over shone by anyone, Blanche.”<br/><br/>“At least I’ve never been over shone by women less deserving than myself,” retorted Lady Blanchefleur.<br/><br/>Percival rolled his eyes and snapped at Blanchefleur: “For God’s sake—you’re making a <em>fool</em> of yourself!”<br/><br/>There was a small crowd of people who did not the attack on ‘that handmaiden.’ Gaius avoided the gossip by keeping Geoffrey off the subject of libraries; apparently the back of the library had been misused.<br/><br/>After Blanchefleur’s behaviour Percival kept well out of gossip’s way and instead stood beside his brother Lamorak who remained quiet all night.<br/><br/>Arthur was assured to see Kay avoiding his parents, who spent the night shaking their heads in Gwen’s direction. Instead he spent the evening with Lady Bedivere.<br/><br/>At the sight of Kay and Lady Bedivere together Morgana had whispered to Merlin: “The focus is off him now, you see, so he can do whatever he wants.”<br/><br/>Merlin suspected that Kay had some loyalty to Arthur, nonetheless. Lady Bedivere herself, a romantic at heart, also tried to stay away from her gossiping peers. Despite the rumours about her and Sir Kay she was still mourning over the death of her husband.<br/><br/>Morgana decided to stay well away from her own kind and stood with Merlin. She pretended to be making small talk with him, every now and then switching her wine goblet without drinking a drop. It was a welcome sight for Merlin.<br/><br/>“Tough crowd tonight,” Merlin said.<br/><br/>“You ought to hear what my ‘friends’ are saying,” she said bluntly. Morgana spotted Gwen wandering alone on the other side of the room. “Stay close to Gwen, won’t you? Arthur daren’t in case he shows her up even more.”<br/><br/>Merlin nodded and made his way over to the other side of the room while Morgana sat down at the table close to Uther.<br/><br/>When Lady Maeve and Lady Celia took two drinks from the tray Gwen was holding they stopped to whisper a few snappy comments loud enough for Gwen to hear.<br/><br/>“I suppose I can see something in her,” said Lady Celia.<br/><br/>“She has a wonderful look of the street about her,” agreed Lady Maeve.<br/><br/>“Pretty in a common way,” added Lady Celia, before she looked over to Lady Bedivere who was minding her own business. “Don’t you think she’s pretty, my dear? She has none of those hideous scars that you sometimes see in commoners.”<br/><br/>“I believe you are trying to make her feel awkward,” replied Lady Bedivere, unimpressed. “Forgive me if I choose not to participate.”<br/><br/>As the two ladies were left feeling awkward Gwen found it hard not to laugh at their faces, especially when Merlin said “Ouch!” just loud enough for them to hear.<br/><br/>After they had skulked away Merlin handed Gwen a small cup of ale and took one himself.<br/><br/>“I don’t really drink ale,” she said with a smile.<br/><br/>“There’s no better way to get drunk,” Merlin joked.<br/><br/>Gwen nodded and took a sip; it warmed the inside of her nose. “You don’t have to stand with me.”<br/><br/>“Morgana didn’t want you left alone,” Merlin said firmly. “I don’t either.”<br/><br/>Gwen shook her head, “Are you my watchdog, suddenly? This will be the second time you’ve.”<br/><br/>Morgana sat pretending to mind her own business as Uther spoke with Áedh. She saw Ector sneak up to Uther and whisper in his ear. Morgana heard Lamorak’s name mentioned before Uther nodded and Ector loyally retreated back to his gossipy wife.<br/><br/>Her eyes then scanned the room and she noticed Arthur stood in a corner, apparently brooding.<br/><br/>Arthur found it hard not to look at Gwen throughout the night. It wasn’t just tonight; it was an old habit of his. They had frequently made eyes at each other, closely guarding their smiles as they snuck off for a secret tryst and then returned without anyone noticing.<br/><br/>Now everyone was commenting on their arrogance of ‘not even attempting to conceal’ their relationship. ‘Even now he doesn’t conceal his passion’ he heard someone whisper about him. Arthur found that annoying; he’d have grabbed Gwen and kissed her the moment she walked into the hall if that were true.<br/><br/>“You should stand up and say something,” Morgana suddenly said.<br/><br/>Arthur nearly leapt out of his skin having not noticed her emerge beside him. He rolled his eyes, “If you’re going to give me some of your ‘winning’ advice, don’t bother. I’m really not in the mood.”<br/><br/>“Charming,” Morgana remarked.<br/><br/>He sighed, “What do you want then?”<br/><br/>“I don’t want anything,” Morgana said. She looked in the direction Gwen was standing with Merlin. It made her happy to see Gwen smiling. “She’s handling all of this very well considering what people are saying about her.”<br/><br/>“I know.”<br/><br/>“I’d have probably gone to pieces by now,” she added. Arthur made an incoherent mumble with his eyes still fixed on Gwen. Morgana glanced up at him, “You’re suppose to say ‘no you wouldn’t!’”<br/><br/>Arthur looked at her, “Sorry?”<br/><br/>“Forget it, it doesn’t matter” Morgana said. She rolled her eyes, realising her wasn’t really listening. There was a moment’s pause before she spoke again, “Gwen said you are going to see Uther tonight.”<br/><br/>Arthur rubbed his eyes, “Yes.”<br/><br/>“And you’re going to refuse Elaine?”<br/><br/>He looked at her, “Are you going to tell me I’m foolish?”<br/><br/>“No, I mean what’s the point?” she said. “You’re so pig-ignorant you wouldn’t listen to me even if did say it.”<br/><br/>“True,” Arthur said. She rolled her eyes again and he said, “Don’t take it personally; I don’t listen to anyone.”<br/><br/>Morgana sighed and decided to leave it at that. Before she left she gave him the advice she had gone to give anyway, “Try not to antagonise your father too much; you know what he does to people who rile him.”<br/><br/>“I don’t care what he does to me,” he said, thinking that his rejection of Elaine might well win him a night in the dungeons.<br/><br/>“It’s not <em>you</em> I’m worried about.”<br/><br/>As the evening came to a close the nobility began to bid each other good night. The king had withdrawn early, exchanging a look with his son before leaving that told him they needed to talk. Arthur had stayed a while longer and listened to the nobility’s quibbles about Guinevere still going on at this late stage. Many of them even looked at him and then mentioned Elaine’s name.<br/><br/>It was at that point Arthur had decided he’d had enough.<br/><br/>Without a care in the world he strode across the room towards Gwen before a reduced but gawping group of courtiers. Gwen watched as he walked towards her and stopped in front of her.<br/><br/>“I’ve had enough of this,” he declared to her. “Let’s leave.”<br/><br/>“What do you mean ‘let’s’?” she said staring dazedly up at him. “You mean, leave together?”<br/><br/>Arthur glanced over to Merlin who was, sensing the tone, already shifting away from them.<br/><br/>“Yes,” he said plainly.<br/><br/>Gwen looked around them; the judging faces were still watching them. After an entire day of the cold shoulder it didn’t trouble her at all. She looked up at Arthur again and smiled, “Alright.”<br/><br/>Then under the eye of the disapproving and jealous nobility they linked arms and strode out of the hall.<br/><br/>As they walked along the entire room seemed to fall silent as the courtiers watched in shock. Arthur and Gwen knew that the moment they were gone the entire room would burst into an uproar. To the elite this was the same equivalent as a public acknowledgement.<br/><br/>The dumbfounded guards opened the large doors it in amazement as the pair walked out. The moment the door closed behind them they heard the uproar in the hall over what had just happened.<br/><br/>Arthur and Gwen kept walking in silence until they reached his chambers. Once they were inside they both unleashed a loud sigh. The sound of their entry alerted little Fach, who had been left waiting there at the beginning of the night, to their presence. Instead of rushing towards them as she usually did she lay her head down again to sleep.<br/><br/>“I thought tonight would never end,” Gwen said collapsing against the table. “My ears were scolding all night.”<br/><br/>“I’ve never heard so many people talking about me all at once,” Arthur agreed, leaning against the door. He looked over at her guiltily, “I hate seeing you put through all of this.”<br/><br/>Gwen stood up straight again and smiled, “I’m fine.”<br/><br/>“I love how you always try to save face,” Arthur remarked. He had watched all night how she managed to maintain her composure. “The way you conducted yourself tonight was remarkable, worthy of a queen.”<br/><br/>Gwen’s smile widened. “I don’t know about that but thank you nonetheless.”<br/><br/>Arthur moved towards her when there was a knock at the door. He turned to open it and Percival was standing there. He glanced over the prince’s shoulder to see Gwen standing in the background and offered her a smile before he turned back to Arthur.<br/><br/>“The king says he will see you now,” he explained.<br/><br/>“Thank you,” Arthur replied, but he saw that Percival clearly had more to say. “Is there something else?”<br/><br/>Percival nodded, “Gregory told me what happened earlier. I thought I should let you know that I convinced Lamorak to tell the king the truth.”<br/><br/>Arthur nodded, “Thank you.”<br/><br/>“I also want to apologise for Lamorak’s behaviour,” Percival added.<br/><br/>“You don’t need to,” Gwen spoke up, smiling.<br/><br/>“She’s right,” Arthur agreed. “You’re not your brother’s keeper.”<br/><br/>“No,” Percival agreed, “but I still felt the need to say it. There is no excuse for his behaviour but he is my younger brother. I am, more or less, responsible for my family members.”<br/><br/>Gwen walked to the door and stood beside Arthur to address Percival. “If that is what you think then you are forgiven,” she said, smiling. “We all have relatives that embarrass us, don’t we?”<br/><br/>“Indeed we do,” Percival agreed. There was a moment silence. “I’ll bid you both good night, then.”<br/><br/>There were ‘good nights’ muttered between the three before Arthur closed the door again.<br/><br/>“You wouldn’t think he was Lamorak’s brother,” Gwen said.<br/><br/>“I have never understood Percival,” Arthur agreed. “Lamorak is so easy to read but Percival... I don’t know.” He sighed turned to face her, resting his hands on her waist. “I have to speak to my father.”<br/><br/>Gwen nodded, “I know.”<br/><br/>She knew that she should try to stop him, but she didn’t want to. She could take all the insults in the world as long as he was hers and she was his and neither of them had to share them with anyone else.<br/><br/>“It’s funny,” he remarked with a nervous smile. “I’ve been thinking all day of what I would say and how I would say it... but now I can’t remember what I was thinking about.”<br/><br/>“Everyone’s like that.”<br/><br/>Arthur nodded uncertainly. He stood in silence and pondered over his thoughts. He kept imagining how his father was going to react to his rejection of Elaine. Then he remembered how little her cared. It was like madness; all he could think about was Guinevere.<br/><br/>He moved his hands from her waist to take her hands, and spoke with an uncertainty. “Will you wait here for me?”<br/><br/>There was another thud in Gwen’s chest. It was an invitation the stay there with him, tonight. It was a risky and blatant thing to do with the entire court and the king watching them. But that didn’t matter anymore. Gwen wanted to stay and was going to say; she didn’t know whether or not it would be her last chance.<br/><br/>She squeezed his hands affectionately and smiled. “I intended to.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Merlin walked Morgana back to her chambers.<br/><br/>They exchanged a look and a nervous smile. Neither of them could ignore the dull pain in their chests. As they looked away from each other they both wondered if they should say something or whether they other would say something. It wasn’t just that the subjects they usually spoke of could land them tied to a stake but they couldn’t think of what to say.<br/><br/>It was hard being the only two magical humans in the castle.<br/><br/>When they finally reached the door to the chambers Merlin, as usual, broke the silence. “I’m sorry if I seem a bit off,” he said quickly. “I guess I’m just tired.”<br/><br/>“That’s fine,” Morgana nodded. There was a moment’s pause. “I think Gwen was amazing tonight,” she added.<br/><br/>Merlin smiled, “She was.”<br/><br/>“I don’t think I’d have managed the way she did,” Morgana said thoughtfully. “I’d have either gone to pieces or started an argument.”<br/><br/>“You wouldn’t have gone to pieces,” Merlin assured her.<br/><br/>She tilted her head, “But I would have started an argument?”<br/><br/>Merlin blushed: “No, sorry, I didn’t mean—well, you know—I meant that you would probably stand up for yourself because you’re a lady and you can. Gwen can’t do that.”<br/><br/>“Merlin,” she said softly, “I was just teasing.”<br/><br/>“Ah!” he said, embarrassed.<br/><br/>There was another moment of silence.<br/><br/>“It’s a testament to how much she loves him,” Morgana said. “There aren’t many women who would take what she did tonight even for the man she loved.”<br/><br/>Merlin nodded. “Before all this with Arthur and Gwen started I never realised just how hard it was for a prince to find someone who truly loves him.”<br/><br/>“Love is automatic from people who admire you when you’re that important.”<br/><br/>“It’s certainly made me realise just how lucky I am,” he added. Merlin felt his ears burn and his cheeks flush again. He looked down and mumbled awkwardly, “If I get married it’ll probably be to someone I love and not someone my parents want me to marry. I’m just a servant, after all.”<br/><br/>Morgana was stung by those words. It was as if Merlin was reminding both of them that despite the dull pain in their chests, it was impossible.<br/><br/>She quivered a sigh. “You’ll never just be a servant, Merlin.”<br/><br/>He swallowed, “Thank you.”<br/><br/>But he was still a servant. The feelings they had were <em>impossible</em>. Arthur and Gwen’s love was ‘unlikely’ but not impossible. There was a chance for them, a dim and hopeful chance. There was no hope for them.<br/><br/>That’s what they kept telling themselves.<br/><br/>If anything happened and they were caught or even suspected of being <em>too</em> close, Uther would probably quietly marry her off and have Merlin killed. That wasn’t counting the fact they were practising magic; they’d both die in that case. All they could do was continue to deny they felt anything at all.<br/><br/>Merlin forced a smile, “I’ll see you tomorrow about the...”<br/><br/>He indicated his head to replace the words ‘spell’ and ‘magic’. Morgana managed to smile too, “Tomorrow.”<br/><br/>At that moment she reached out and took his hand in hers. The sensation passed between them as it always did, increasing the tightness in their chest.<br/><br/>Merlin didn’t know whether it was the gesture of her taking his hand or the intensifying of his pain, but he chuckled nervously. “I thought I’d get used to that, but I never do.”<br/><br/>“It gets stronger and stronger for me...” Morgana whispered.<br/><br/>They stood like that for another ten seconds before Merlin, thinking better of the situation, slipped his hand from her grip.<br/><br/>“Perhaps,” he said, bravely, “we’re kindred spirits.”<br/><br/>Morgana couldn’t help a brief but genuine beam. “Perhaps we are.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>“I can’t believe you would be this foolish!” Uther snapped the moment Arthur had closed the door to the empty audience room.<br/><br/>The king’s eyes were wide and shiny, like that of a snake preparing to bite. Arthur kept a distance between his father and himself, addressing him from the other end of the room.<br/><br/>“I’m sorry if it has displeased you father,” he said, though he didn’t really care at all.<br/><br/>“The least you could have done is employed some tact, but no—you spend the night with her and allow yourself to be seen <em>by one of the servants</em>!” Uther barked.<br/><br/>Arthur folded his arms, “We were guilty of nothing immoral last night.”<br/><br/>“You were guilty of immorality on <em>other</em> nights,” the king said, scratching the back of his neck, irritated.<br/><br/>Arthur had no intention of yelling and shouting. He knew he had to keep his temper. He had spent his whole life doing it when in the presence of his father. The last thing he wanted was to give his father ammunition; it could have serious consequences for him and Gwen.<br/><br/>“There is nothing immoral about my relationship with Guinevere,” Arthur finally said, and his father immediately responded with a scoff. He paused for a moment before he went on, “Everything about it is moral. She is moral and she keeps me moral. The only thing that makes it immoral is this betrothal to Elaine.”<br/><br/>“Yet Elaine is remains virtuous,” the king remarked.<br/><br/>“And shall remain so as far as I’m concerned,” Arthur retorted. The look in his father’s eyes at that moment could have turned mortal men to stone. He had not intended to blurt it out like that but not that it was, he elaborated calmly. “I’m sorry father, but I won’t marry Elaine.”<br/><br/>Uther stared at him as if he had gone mad. “You would jeopardise everything I have worked for over the last few months, the last <em>twenty years</em>...?”<br/><br/>“Never at one time have you given me a valid reason for this betrothal...” Arthur interrupted.<br/><br/>“You would reject our own family—<em>your own cousin</em>—the alliance we have held for twenty years...!” Uther went on.<br/><br/>“There is a war going on!” Arthur went on. “The alliance will survive. I don’t see the point of the marriage. I even wondered if you have an ulterior motive...”<br/><br/>“Don’t be ridiculous!” Uther shouted, his frown growing and the scar on his forehead becoming that little bit deeper. “Arthur, you are saying that you would reject a princess of the blood, a benefit to Camelot... for a handmaiden.”<br/><br/>“Not ‘would’—<em>am</em>,” Arthur corrected.<br/><br/>“What good would rejecting Elaine do?”<br/><br/>“What is the benefit for Camelot if I marry her?” Arthur questioned. “If I thought for one second there was a real benefit I’d do it... but I can’t. As for Elaine, well, she’ll be fine. I think she’ll be glad.”<br/><br/>“You haven’t answered my question.”<br/><br/>Arthur cleared his throat. “You never answered mine.”<br/><br/>“Damn it!” Uther growled again, ignoring and silencing Arthur immediately. “That girl you’re fawning over is a <em>handmaiden</em>. A serving girl! The problem is that you’re not thinking with your head but <em>another</em> part of your anatomy.”<br/><br/>“My heart” Arthur remarked sarcastically.<br/><br/>Uther rolled his eyes, “For all you know this girl is using you for your wealth, your influence, your power. You can’t trust someone of a lower social class to yourself...”<br/><br/>Arthur shook his head. “No, you’re wrong.”<br/><br/>The king sighed. “You are <em>blinded</em> by your infatuation for this girl, blinded by desire. It’s not uncommon for a young man.”<br/><br/>“I’m not blinded by desire,” Arthur protested firmly. “You don’t understand. We fell for each other long before we even set eyes on each other, literally.”<br/><br/>Uther tilted his head, wondering what his son meant by that. He said nothing, though.<br/><br/>“And that’s why I know you’re wrong,” Arthur went on. “You don’t know her. Guinevere isn’t like that. She doesn’t care about money or power and influence. Tonight she had to endure those vultures as picked at her bit by bit. I’d have ripped them apart had she not told me not to.”<br/><br/>“It’s a pity you didn’t listen in regards to Lamorak,” Uther interrupted. Arthur said nothing; Lamorak deserved what he got and Percival agreed with him. Uther sighed and shook his head, “But she’s a handmaiden...”<br/><br/>“I have noticed, father.”<br/><br/>There was a long and awkward pause as neither father nor son knew what to say next. Arthur could tell his father was horrified at the fact that he had said he wouldn’t marry Elaine. It was the disobedience more than anything.<br/><br/>“Why do you find it so hard to believe someone might actually love me for me?” Arthur finally said.<br/><br/>“That’s not the point!” Uther snapped.<br/><br/>“Yes it is,” Arthur responded firmly. He looked out one of the windows briefly before he went on: “Not matter what you say I know Guinevere loves me, not for wealth and status but for me. She loves <em>me</em>, and I...I love her.”<br/><br/>Uther scoffed again, “You don’t know what love is.”<br/><br/>“A year ago I might have agreed with you,” Arthur replied with certainty. “But now I know. I didn’t realise until now how...”<br/><br/>“What?”<br/><br/>Arthur hesitated; he hated talking about his feelings to anyone not least his father. “How empty I was,” he finished, “in every sense of the word.”<br/><br/>“And now you are fulfilled?” Uther said, slightly mocking.<br/><br/>“I can’t explain it,” Arthur confessed. “It’s inexplicable. All I do know is that I can’t live a lie.”<br/><br/>“How romantic,” Uther said, folding his arms, considering all he had heard. “If it means that much to you then you can keep her as your mistress. There’s no chance of concealing it now in any case.”<br/><br/>Arthur swallowed. “That’s not the point,” he went on. “We resigned ourselves to that situation ages ago. It’s the principle. I still can’t marry Elaine because it’s dishonest.”<br/><br/>The anger that had been bubbling up inside Uther vented itself as he slammed his hand against the table. The force of it echoed through the room and startled Arthur. He stood his ground nonetheless.<br/><br/>“I’d rather remain unmarried and serve the kingdom than marry Elaine and spend the rest of my life lying,” Arthur said. “It’s not fair to Elaine either.”<br/><br/>Uther took a deep breath. There seemed to be no way to make Arthur see sense. He had hoped he would see reason but it seemed the little witch truly had cast a spell on his son. He grabbed a goblet of wine.<br/><br/>Arthur stood in silence, waiting for the next reprimand.<br/><br/>“I can see we are getting nowhere,” the king finally said. He leant forward and, “I will give you until the end of this week to come to your senses. When you do come to your senses you will agree to the betrothal.”<br/><br/>There was a short pause.<br/><br/>“And if I don’t?” Arthur asked.<br/><br/>His tone annoyed Uther more. “Then I will have sense knocked into you.”<br/><br/>Arthur was determined to stand his ground despite that threat. He remained silent, watching his father, trying to stare each other down. He thought of Guinevere, and that kept him from backing down.<br/><br/>“Good night, father,” Arthur mumbled and turned to leave.<br/><br/>Uther bellowed after him as he left. “Your duty to your kingdom is to marry and secure the family line. Every king has to make sacrifices for the greater good, even if it means living a lie.”<br/><br/>Arthur stopped briefly, nearly taking the bait. He nearly questioned that last statement, nearly dared to ask whether a king should run his kingdom in a thread if lies. But he thought better of it. He thought of Gwen again, and decided to let it go.<br/><br/>He opened the door and left.<br/><br/>Uther sat in contemplation. It was not as if he had expected Arthur to cave in immediately but he had thought that once he had permission to continue his relationship with the maid he might agree to marry Elaine.<br/><br/>It was clear to Uther that the girl had got to him. He knew she was not the type to manipulate a man; everyone told him that endlessly. She had got under Arthur’s skin. In some ways that was worse as she could have a man jumping through hoops for her without lifting a finger.<br/><br/>He pulled himself to his feet and walked into the private study behind the audience room. It seemed he would have another letter to write.<br/><br/>Uther wasn’t fool enough to think that Arthur will change his mind between now and the end of the week. That meant the problem of the handmaiden would have to be dealt with, swiftly. Anna had already stated that she would help. A week would be enough time to arrange everything.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>At that moment Morgana lunged out of her sleep with a sense of great foreboding. The images in her head scolded her sight and she found it hard to make out the dark outline of her room. She sat up and tried to catch her breath while dragging herself back to reality. She tried to come to her senses but couldn’t calm down. Her heart was racing so fast.<br/><br/>She looked around for any other sign of life but she was alone. She wanted to look for someone but she felt as if her bed was teetering on the edge of a cliff and one false move would send her over the edge.<br/><br/>Morgana rubbed her face with her hands and ran them through her hair; it was completely damp, as if she had awoken with a fever. It clung to her like fear, she could smell it.<br/><br/>Eventually she gathered the courage to pull herself out of bed. She pulled her wrap around her and rushed out the door. It seemed cooler in the hallways of the castle. She rushed down the stairs before she reached the bottom and stopped to think. She didn’t know where she was going, who she was looking for or what she was even doing.<br/><br/>Where am I going? She thought. The answer was obvious; to Merlin. He said to go to her if the dream happened again, so she would. It was late, but she told herself he wouldn’t mind and nor would Gaius.<br/><br/>It wasn’t even the dream she saw that worried her; it was the feeling that came with it, the feeling of impending doom. Something was going to happen and she knew the only one she could tell was Merlin. He was the only one who could help.<br/><br/>Ironically, at that very moment, Merlin too had awoken with a start. He had been dragged out of sleep before by powerful magic or the infernal lizard below the castle, but never by a dream and never by a sense of great foreboding.<br/><br/>It was sign enough to tell him something bad was going to happen.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gaius rubbed his eyes as he tried to take in what Merlin had just told him. It was too early in the morning for something like this.<br/><br/>“You’re saying,” he said as if the clarify the point, “that you have just had a dream similar to the one Morgana has been having.”<br/><br/>Merlin nodded. “It was the same dream but for a few things. I didn’t see myself in the dreams or anything...”<br/><br/>Gaius sighed, “This happens sometimes, things from life turn up in our sleep. You saw inside Morgana’s dream, looked at her dream. It’s been hanging around in your mind recently, it was only natural you might end up dreaming it yourself.”<br/><br/>“I know that,” Merlin said, rubbing his hands nervously. The shock of it made him feel on the edge. “But it was more than that. It was the feelings I had when I was sleeping and when I woke up.”<br/><br/>“What do you mean?” Gaius asked.<br/><br/>“It was like this feeling of... dread,” he said distantly, trying to choose the right words. “Like something had happened, or is happening...”<br/><br/>“You are worried about Arthur and Gwen,” the old man said, as if reminding him. “It is possible that your fears are affecting your sleep...” he pulled himself to his feet and walked slowly towards the work bench. “I’ll prepare you a sleeping draught.”<br/><br/>Merlin sat silently and thought about the emotions he felt when he had awoken. It was like dread personified had yanked him out of his sleep; he had gasped for air and his heart had been racing. It had been as if he had forgotten how to breathe.<br/><br/>His thoughts immediately turned to Morgana and how awful it had to be for her, waking like this frequently. Upon waking all he had been able to do was think of the dream: fire, blood and anguish. He had seen Arthur and Gwen just as Morgana had seen but none of those scenes in the forest that had included him. Gaius had said that seers could not see their own future in their dreams...<br/><br/>Merlin sighed, “I feel like a little kid who’s just had a nightmare.”<br/><br/>“Everyone has nightmares,” Gaius said understandingly. “It seems a lot of people are having trouble sleeping at the moment. Uther asked me for a draft to help him sleep earlier...”<br/><br/>“Hmm,” Merlin murmured unsympathetically. “It must be hard work plotting to ruin people’s lives.”<br/><br/>“Merlin,” Gaius said firmly.<br/><br/>There was a loud crash at the door. Gaius nearly knocked over his remedy and Merlin’s heart skipped a beat. The two exchanged looks as Gaius strode to the door and opened it.<br/><br/>It was Morgana.<br/><br/>Merlin’s heart skipped another beat and throbbed painfully in his chest. His sudden tension did not escape Gaius. “Morgana,” Gaius said, as if surprised. “What brings you hear so early in the morning?”<br/><br/>Morgana looked at him with wide eyes, barely hearing what he had said as her mind was still dazed despite the long walk from her chambers to theirs. Her eyes quickly rested on Merlin. They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds before Gaius finally ushered Morgana into a chair.<br/><br/>“I can tell this is not just a social call,” Gaius said sarcastically.<br/><br/>“Oh,” Morgana said, snapping out of her daze, “Yes, I’m sorry to call so late but...”<br/><br/>“Why are you here?” Merlin asked. He was surprised at how calm his voice was, even laid back and uncaring. He quickly decided he disliked that tone and leant forward to sound more sincere, “I’m mean... what brings you here so early?”<br/><br/>Morgana tilted her head, “As if you don’t know.”<br/><br/>Behind them Gaius shook his head and went back to what he had been doing. “It’s just as well I’m making a sleeping draught.”<br/><br/>The young woman spun to look at Gaius and then back at Merlin, who said nothing. He didn’t need to say anything; it was all there in his face and in his eyes. A jolt of pain shot through Morgana’s heart as she quickly realised why he and Gaius had been awake at this time.<br/><br/>“You had a...?” she began.<br/><br/>Merlin nodded, “Yes...”<br/><br/>There was a short and awkward pause.<br/><br/>“I probably woke the same time as you did,” he went on, hugging his arms around him like a little child. “It was the same as your dream only slightly different. I couldn’t see myself in it or anything...”<br/><br/>Morgana shrugged, “Couldn’t that have just been a dream?”<br/><br/>“It’s the way I felt that swayed me,” Merlin confessed, reliving the emotions he went through. “When I saw Arthur and Gwen in that dream I felt sorrow, a raging sorrow and longing. Then when I saw the war scenes; the burning villages and screams of horses and battle cries I felt... disgusted.”<br/><br/>He covered his mouth as he relived the smells and sensations of burning wood, blood and metal.<br/><br/>He cleared his throat and finished saying, “I’m starting to realise why you could get so hysterical about seeing these things.”<br/><br/>Morgana felt sympathetic. For a long time she had wanted someone to share her misery, to understand what it was like to have the awful dreams she had but now she felt sad. Merlin had tried to help her with her dreams; first by trying to take them away and second by helping her to understand them.<br/><br/>She almost felt guilty, as if her influence had caused him to start having the dreams. Maybe it had. She didn’t know how the gift she possessed worked, whether it could rub off on somebody or whether Merlin had always had it but it had been mixed up with his other powers.<br/><br/>Maybe Gaius was right and it was just a dream. No matter what it was Morgana felt sad to see Merlin confused and disturbed. It made her feel frantic as he was usually the level-headed one of the two.<br/><br/>Gaius looked up from his work. He was adding extra ingredients to make the draught strong that it would hopefully knock both of them out so they would not have a recurrence of the dream in one night. With Morgana it was a possibility, but he wasn’t convinced yet that Merlin’s dream wasn’t just a nightmare.<br/><br/>He sighed as he filled up a bottle with the mixture for Morgana to take away with her and a cup for Merlin to take to bed with him in a moment.<br/><br/>“It’ll be fine,” Gaius told the young man, grabbing his hand and thrusting the cup into it. “I told you it was just a nightmare. Maybe it’ll teach you to not go rummaging around in people’s heads.”<br/><br/>He eyed Morgana and walked away to clear up the bench. Morgana looked at Merlin, “Do you suppose that’s why you had the dream, because you were inside my mind?”<br/><br/>Merlin shrugged, “I don’t know—it could be, but I don’t know. It just felt so real, more real than when I saw it in your head... it was like I was <em>there</em>. Oh, I can’t remember... more of it has slipped away than I thought.”<br/><br/>Morgana tilted her head. “That happens to me all the time,” she said before she smiled and gently tapped his arm. “It’s frustrating, isn’t it?”<br/><br/>Her hand felt cold through his thin night shirt. It sent a shiver through his arm and straight to his chest, just like every touch seemed to now.<br/><br/>“Very frustrating,” Merlin remarked<br/><br/>The two of them smiled at each other and laughed. Morgana once again rested her hand on his arm as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Then she realised what she was doing and pulled it away again.<br/><br/>It was due to Gaius’s hawk eyes watching them from across the room that told her to keep her hands to herself.<br/><br/>She folded her arms and sighed, “It does seem strange that both of us should wake at the same time from the same dream. It was almost... <em>instinctive</em>.”<br/><br/>The way she said the word ‘instinctive’ sent another sensation through Merlin. He even found himself crossing both his arms and legs to try and adopt a more relaxed posture.<br/><br/>“I suppose that what happens to ‘kindred spirits’,” Merlin finally said, glancing at the judging old man in the corner of his eye. “We’re always looking out for each other, even in our dreams.”<br/><br/>Morgana blushed. She found it so unbecoming of her to blush at something Merlin said but she couldn’t help it. The fear and uncertainty from moments ago seemed to have disappeared in a flash and was replaced with that old familiar bubbling feeling in her chest.<br/><br/>The thing that really made her blush was that they were flirting in front of Gaius, however mystifying they made it.<br/><br/>“Well,” she said after a brief pause of considering an answer for him, “you are like a guardian angel, aren’t you?”<br/><br/>This time Merlin blushed.<br/><br/>Gaius made a loud clutter as he put the bowls away, purposely breaking the atmosphere. As he watched the scene all he could think about was the dragon’s warning about allowing Merlin and Morgana to get too close.<br/><br/>The pair of them looked around them awkwardly as Gaius walked up to stand between them. “I think it’s time we all went to bed,” he announced.<br/><br/>Morgana swallowed, “Yes.”<br/><br/>Merlin watched her rise from her chair as Gaius handed her the extra strong sleeping draught. Even those small moments spoke volumes to him. He started to suspect his worst fears were being realised.<br/><br/>He looked at Morgana. “You should come straight here in the morning if you still continue to have the dream,” he then glanced at Merlin, who now looked sheepishly away, suspecting Gaius’s displeasure. “If Merlin has the dream again as well... then we’ll try and understand why, I promise.”<br/><br/>Morgana bit her lip and nodded gratefully. “Thank you, Gaius.”<br/><br/>Morgana preferred being alone with Merlin but she was glad that Gaius would help. It was clear the events of recent went beyond anything either she or Merlin understood. Besides, even if Gaius was there for their discussion of the dreams she would still have Merlin to herself while he taught her magic. She would make sure of that.<br/><br/>She and Merlin exchanged one last look. He gave her a small, friendly smile that nearly killed her. She hated this, what she was feeling, not being able to do anything about it.<br/><br/>He hated it too; his smile was evident of it. The moment she left through the door the smile disappeared.<br/><br/>Gaius’s eyes were still on the door but he could feel Merlin’s expression behind him. He turned around to see Merlin with his head down and face expressionless. He wasn’t thinking of anything, just feeling confused and exposed in front of his father-figure.<br/><br/>Eventually Merlin pretended tiredness and got to his feet, clutching the remedy in his hand. “I just take this before I go down, don’t I?”<br/><br/>Gaius nodded slowly. “That’s what you usually do with a sleeping draught, yes.”<br/><br/>Merlin sighed, the sarcastic tone not lost on him. He turned to go up to his room, muttering ‘good night’ under his breath when Gaius stopped him.<br/><br/>“Merlin,” the old man said firmly but calmly.<br/><br/>Merlin knew what this would be about. He turned around slowly and awaited the criticism. Gaius didn’t like to pry but he felt it had to be said, even if it was just to reinforce what the boy already knew.<br/><br/>“You should be careful,” Gaius finally said. “I know I have told you to be careful in regards to your relationship with Morgana before but this is different.”<br/><br/>Merlin shrugged and attempted to be naive to what he meant. “How is it different?”<br/><br/>Gaius sighed. “Just remember that—if you are even suspected of being anything more to Morgana than a servant <em>that will be it</em>.”<br/><br/>“I don’t know what you—”<br/><br/>“You know very well what I mean,” Gaius said confidently. “I understand how you feel. You’re about Morgana’s age and like you she has the gift; it’s only natural for you to feel a tad... <em>infatuated</em>—”<br/><br/>Merlin’s cheeks and ears burnt. “I’m not <em>infatuated</em> with Morgana!”<br/><br/>Gaius tilted his head, “Merlin...”<br/><br/>“I’m not,” Merlin said defensively. “We’re just... friends.” There was a long pause as they pair looked at each other in silence. The young man sighed, “Even if I did it wouldn’t matter. Like you said, I’m just a servant. I’m not an idiot, Gaius.”<br/><br/>“I know you’re not,” the guardian replied. “I’m just trying to protect you from getting hurt. Even if no one found out you both used magic, if the king suspected the two of you...”<br/><br/>“He won’t,” Merlin said firmly, trying to keep his face straight. “He won’t because there is nothing to suspect. The king thinks I’m an idiot and I don’t mind that. It keeps me alive.”<br/><br/>Gaius gave Merlin an almost pitying look, which Merlin hated. It was the ‘you can’t fool me’ look.<br/><br/>The young man sighed. “Gaius, I know you’re worried but... don’t be. Nothing can happen and nothing will happen, I swear.”<br/><br/>“In that case,” Gaius said finally breaking his momentary silence, “do you think it’s wise to continue teaching Morgana magic?”<br/><br/>Merlin folded his arms. “I already promised her...”<br/><br/>“Merlin...”<br/><br/>“Well I don’t see what difference it makes!” the warlock retorted quickly. “Gaius, I know what I’m doing. You just have to trust me.”<br/><br/>Gaius sighed, “I do trust you, Merlin. I just want you to remember that Arthur and Gwen were caught; you can't keep a thing like this secret.”<br/><br/>Merlin stood in silence, as if he had run out of words. He decided denial was the best course of action. He turned to enter his room and muttered, “I’m not keeping ‘a thing like that’ secret.”<br/><br/>The door softly clicked shut. Gaius wished there was something he could say to drag Merlin out of that infuriating denial. The truth was he knew that Merlin would resist the feelings he had as hard as he possibly could. Morgana’s will was weaker. That was what worried Gaius. She would eventually crack and if she went down she would probably take Merlin with her, and vice versa. She was her own worst enemy.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Arthur swiftly sat up after he reached over to the other side of the bed and realised Gwen was not there. It was still early. He wondered if she had left earlier than morning as per usual and he had spent through it as he quickly pulled himself up.<br/><br/>He didn’t have to look far as he saw her sitting half-dressed at the table across the room in silence. His heart settled the moment he saw her. She seemed to be in a world of her own. The thick light blue dawn-light lofted in from the window nearby, illuminating her skin and hair; she looked like an angel.<br/><br/>Arthur glanced down and saw Fach sleeping on the end of the bed. He was careful not to wake the little dog as he slipped quietly out of bed.<br/><br/>His eyes were focused on her as he pulled on his clothes. He didn’t think he had ever seen her a morning after making love before. It was always dark when they parted ways. Then there were the stolen moments that were taken when necessary and had no time frame.<br/><br/>If there was one thing Arthur resented about their situation it was that he had never awoken fresh with the pleasure from the previous night and Gwen still beside him. He knew that is was Gwen’s fear that woke her early; if not fear of discovery it was fear of Uther.<br/><br/>The closest Arthur had ever been to what he wanted was yesterday morning. It was the first time he had ever woken and Gwen had still been there with no indication of leaving. They had not made love the night before that morning but Arthur felt utterly content; he happy that she was there with him.<br/><br/>Arthur ran the back of his fingers down Gwen’s cheek. She looked up and smiled sadly up at him. He pulled out another chair and sat beside her.<br/><br/>“Are you alright?” It was a stupid question but it was out before he could think.<br/><br/>“I was thinking.”<br/><br/>Arthur reached over and took her hand. “You don’t regret staying last night, do you?”<br/><br/>“Why would you think that? I’ve stayed before.”<br/><br/>“I know but...” he said letting her hand go, “never with all eyes on us.”<br/><br/>“I wasn’t even thinking about that,” Gwen confessed. She sat hunched up on the chair, wrapping her arms around her legs. “I was thinking about your father.”<br/><br/>Arthur could help but bite. “Well whatever works for you...”<br/><br/>Gwen groaned in disgust and batted him playfully. “I meant what he said to you last night. I want you to be careful.”<br/><br/>Arthur sighed. “I’ve told you before that he can’t do anything against my will even if he is the king. He can’t legalise the engagement unless he has my signature on the contact... and I won’t sign anything unless I’ve read it first.”<br/><br/>“He could overrule you,” Gwen told him. “He is the king.”<br/><br/>“There is nothing to overrule,” Arthur told her. “There is no new and official alliance stating that I have to marry Elaine, and there’s not going to be. Not if I can help it.”<br/>“And I can’t help worrying about you,” the young woman protested. “If anything happened to you because of me I’d never forgive myself.”<br/><br/>Arthur chuckled, thinking her ‘protest’ was a little extreme.<br/><br/>“He may be the king but he’s still my father,” the prince told her. “He needs me more than he needs any alliance so what’s the worst he could do?”<br/><br/>His face then became more serious. “I’m more concerned about you—if anything happened to <em>you</em> because of me <em>I’d</em> never forgive myself. I’d never forgive him.”<br/><br/>“The threat was aimed at you,” Gwen reminded him. “He may not be able to force you to marry Elaine or kill you for disobeying him but he can still deprive you of your freedom; he can still make your life miserable.”<br/><br/>“He’s already making my life miserable!” Arthur snapped. He thought of what his father had said the previous night. Arthur had held back his anger last night but it was starting to resurface.<br/><br/>He reached over and ran a finger down Gwen’s arm, the contact making her shiver with light pleasure. “You’re one of the few things that keep me going.”<br/><br/>“You know I feel the same,” Gwen said quietly, and looked into his eyes. “That’s why I couldn’t bear to see you suffer.”<br/><br/>Arthur rubbed his eyes and shook his head. “The worst he can do is shut me up in the dungeons.”<br/><br/>“Is that it?” Gwen said sarcastically.<br/><br/>“He’s just hoping I’ll give in and do as he wants.”<br/><br/>“Going to the dungeons is still suffering...”<br/><br/>The tone changed almost immediately as Arthur made a flirtatious smile. “Oh I don’t know, it’s not the first time I’ve been thrown in there. It’ll remind me of old times, like our first conspiracy together.”<br/><br/>Gwen tilted her head questioningly before she remembered the infamous incident of the flower, the guard and the bread. “That guard chased me right up those stairs before I managed to duck into an alcove and lose him.”<br/><br/>“You always could think on your feet,” Arthur went on, stilling smiling.<br/><br/>Gwen chuckled. She got to her feet and stood in front of him. “One would think you enjoyed bondage.”<br/><br/>Arthur looked up at her, inclined his head to one side and smiled slyly. He reached to take her by the hips and pulled her onto his lap. “It’s funny you should say that...”<br/><br/>Gwen wrapped her arms around his neck and placed a long-lasting kiss on his lips. Her previous thoughts that had woken her were buried and forgotten. She broke the kiss and smiled, “You’re terrible.”<br/><br/>Arthur said nothing. He cupped Gwen’s chin and pulled her in the resume the kiss, this time inserting more passion. He moved his hands down her back to bring her closer and she moved her own hands to his face to keep their mouths locked together.<br/><br/>When they broke the kiss they remained with their foreheads and noses touching, the heat of their breaths brushing against their faces. Arthur’s eyes met Gwen and he smiled again. “Let’s go back to bed,” he whispered.<br/><br/>Gwen did not protest and willingly murmured her approval with the suggestion. She saw no reason to deny herself or Arthur of the joys they had previously taken advantage prior to their discovery when there was still risk if not more.<br/><br/>She pushed the threat Uther had made to Arthur of ‘knocking sense’ into him at the back of her mind and allowed Arthur to carry her back to the bed. Although she’d never voice her fears out loud, she wondered now each time they were together whether it would be the last time.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>The next time Merlin awoke it was light. As with last night he was jolted out of his sleep by the dream. It had not taken him by surprised as it had last night. He had expected to have it again despite having never had dreams or nightmares like it before. The feelings he felt were nonetheless damning.<br/><br/>Merlin rubbed his face of the sweat and smoothed his hands through his hair to try and tame its bed-head style. Then he slipped out of bed and opened the door to see if Gaius was awake.<br/><br/>The next room was silent and Gaius was still dozing in bed. Merlin decided to let him sleep longer as for the last two nights Gaius had lost sleep due to him. He owed a lie-in to him.<br/><br/>It reminded Merlin of what Gaius had told him the previous night about Morgana; that he should be careful, that he knew what he was feeling. He blushed. Even the thought of it made him feel exposed and foolish. He felt like an idiot for feeling the way he did and it embarrassed even more that Gaius knew about it.<br/><br/>He pushed it to the back of his mind.<br/><br/>Merlin closed his door and went to sit at the small table in the corner of the room. He kept the books Gwen had lent him on chivalry, weaponry and armour to help him fulfil the ridiculous duties that were entailed in being the prince’s manservant. As well as that there were some educative books that Gaius had given him to study, which Merlin considered looking at briefly before he had to get up.<br/><br/>But that thought didn’t last long.<br/><br/>He scooted over across the room and threw himself across his bed to access the loose floor board where he had hidden his spell book and various other things.<br/><br/>Beneath the spell book there were spells and charms written in his hand on fair quality paper. He pulled them out and laid them in front of him on his bed. They were simple spells such as fire spells, water spells, wind spells, spells involving objects and little charms for minor ailments. In all there were twenty pages.<br/><br/>Merlin had mastered them swiftly and quickly. He assumed it was due to his natural gift and his instinct for magic. It was harder for Morgana and took longer. It would take him years to get her up to scratch with some of the spells he could do, but he didn’t mind.<br/><br/>He blushed again, and then groaned. He hated feeling this way. All he ever wanted to do was find someone who shared the same experiences that he did. He had waited so long for Morgana to realise what she was or find out what he was just so he could talk to her about it.<br/><br/>Now they were alone in their secret, they kept each other company in solitude but their feelings for each other were changing.<br/><br/>That made it worse.<br/><br/>Merlin knew that Morgana felt it too. He could feel it in her when she spoke, looked at him or smiled. He knew that she knew about him too. It made it all seem so complicated. Merlin felt that he might have been able to ignore his feelings had they been unrequited.<br/><br/>He wrote guiding notes by the lines of the spell, explaining pronunciation, saying where emphasis was needed as well as adding his own improvements. Merlin felt rather smug when he did this. After doing a spell several times he sometimes found ways to improve the spell’s effectiveness and he loved sharing it with Morgana while he was teaching her.<br/><br/>Merlin put the pen down and sighed.<br/><br/>He wanted to keep teaching her but he was worried that his feelings would distract him. He sometimes wished Morgana was plainer then he wouldn’t be prone to staring at her all the time. It was even all the more awkward when he caught her looking at him too. He felt flattered but <em>awkward</em>.<br/><br/>He bunched all the pieces of paper together once he finished adding notes. His intention was to give them to Morgana when he was finished but there were still some more charms and spells he wanted to write up. He would then advise her in where was the best place to hide her ‘stash’ of magical implements.<br/><br/>Merlin wondered if Gaius was right, if he should put a distance between Morgana and him at least until the feeling went away. The trouble was that it never stopped. It wasn’t like an innocent crush or infatuation. It was partly that but it was something else. There was a connection, something that went beyond simple affection. It seemed to bind them together like it was destiny.<br/><br/>All he could do was live with it; he could do that.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Arthur decided to walk Gwen home. They both knew they had to face the world and walking through a town where everyone knew they were lovers seemed the best way to face and overcome their demons. It was like going into a room coated of cobwebs to cure a fear of spiders.<br/><br/>There was another reason Arthur insisted on walking her home. He felt that his very presence would deter the nobility in particular from throwing insults at her or saying things <em>just loud enough</em> for her to hear. They cared about their positions and wouldn’t risk calling Gwen a ‘common little floor scrubber’ within his ear shot.<br/><br/>Gwen had protested initially. “I need to face them too” Arthur told her, pulling on his boots. “We should face them together. It’s <em>us</em> they’re talking about, not just you. It’s both of us.”<br/><br/>“Yes, but you can get away with it” she said smiling despite her worry. “You’re the prince—no, never mind that—you’re a <em>man</em>!”<br/><br/>“Guine<em>vere</em>—”<br/><br/>“I hate it when you say my name like that!”<br/><br/>“It gets your attention, though.”<br/><br/>Walking through town was surreal. The strangest thing was that Gwen felt calm and undeterred. The city was just waking up and the people setting up their stalls or sweeping their thresholds looked up and watched as she and Arthur walked passed. She wondered what they were thinking, whether they thought the same of her as the people at court did.<br/><br/>Gwen had never been so thankful that her house was moderately close to the castle. The moment she opened the door Fach rushed in, seemingly happy to be home. It probably made little difference to a dog in reality.<br/><br/>Arthur stayed by the door. He did not want to show Gwen up, knowing that in the public eye of the people he had to be the perfect gentleman. Not that he would have done any different anyway.<br/><br/>Inside Gwen looked around the room. It occurred to her that she had not actually lived in this house for the past two days. It had been more like a base camp, somewhere to freshen up in after spending the night at the castle. If it wasn’t to be with Arthur then it was to comfort Morgana after a nightmare.<br/><br/>Gwen wondered if she was starting to become detached from the simplicity of the life she led before when her father was still alive, and whether it was a bad thing that she was changing, evolving.<br/><br/>“Could you pull the door a jar?” Gwen called over to Arthur by the door. “I want to get changed.”<br/><br/>Arthur did as she said. He was weary of the early risers passing by the house and seeing him there. They didn’t seem surprised to see him and some even smiled at him. It was a far cry from the hissing of gossip and laughter in the castle.<br/><br/>Eventually the door opened again and Gwen poked her head out. “I’m decent now,” she said with a smile. “Why <em>are</em> you standing outside?”<br/><br/>“To amend the damage I may have done to your reputation,” he said, smiling back.<br/><br/>She opened the door fully and stepped to one side. “It’s rude to leave people waiting on the doorstep,” she told him. “Just leave the door open.”<br/><br/>Arthur remained at the front door looking into the house as Gwen put down some food and water for Fach. His eyes scanned the room, moving from Gwen, to Fach and to the walls that had only been redone that summer.<br/><br/>“They’re not leaking any more, are they?” he asked.<br/><br/>Gwen looked up. “No, they did a good job on the walls and the roof.”<br/><br/>Arthur remembered how awkward Gwen had been when he had insisted on having the entire thing redone after he had seen her emptying pots and pans of rain water after a particularly wet week.<br/><br/>Gwen leant over her bed to open the shutters to let in some fresh air one something glistening on the shelf above her bed caught Arthur’s eyes. He reached over, passed Gwen who stopped to watch as he picked up the small ornament. It was the silver fairy.<br/><br/>“I remember this,” he said, admiring it in his hand. “Cador gave it to you, didn’t he?”<br/><br/>Gwen felt a twang in her chest. “I’m surprised you remember, frankly. Yes, Cador gave it to me... before Gorlois died and he became the Duke of Cornwall.”<br/><br/>“It was after your mother died,” Arthur remembered and she nodded. He ran his fingers across the tarnished metal. “Wasn’t it in a box or something?”<br/><br/>“Yes,” she replied, and knelt beside her bed to get it out from underneath. “The silver fairy statue was inside. I remember you were the one who gave it to me; we interacted more in those five minutes than we ever did for the next fourteen years.”<br/><br/>Arthur briefly glanced up at her before he handed it back to her. His eyes rested on the box, “That’s changed a lot since I last saw it.”<br/><br/>“The paint is wearing off and I lost the key years ago,” Gwen admitted. “But it still serves its purpose.”<br/><br/>“What do you keep in it?” he asked.<br/><br/>She ran her hand across the surface looking at the worn pattern before she looked up again, “Your letters.”<br/><br/>Arthur felt a shudder go through him although he managed to conceal it. It still embarrassed him that he couldn’t express his feelings for Gwen in words as he could in writing. The irony was that he had been there when Cador gave her that box; never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined that one day it would contain his only attempt at being romantic.<br/><br/>Gwen put the box back under the bed and placed the silver fairy back above her bed. “Come on, let’s go,” she said getting to her feet. “I have to get to work and you’re on guard duty.”<br/><br/>“Yes, darling,” Arthur said jokily.<br/><br/>As they made their way back to the castle all the surrealism from before flooded back once again.<br/><br/>The city was happily carrying on around them. Gwen heard no snide remarks from the artisans plying their trades or the people taking advantage of these services before the late morning rush.<br/><br/>They still turned to each other and talked, but there was no malice. A few of them were smiling, similar to the way her other servants had done yesterday morning when she felt at her most vulnerable. The sight of she and Arthur together seemed to <em>please</em> them for reasons Gwen had no idea.<br/><br/>A child stopped to stroke Fach. The little dog was thrilled by this, holding her head to the ground with her tail wagging, and was worked up by their enthusiasm.<br/><br/>When they reached the main entrance to the courtyard Arthur leant over to whisper in Gwen’s ear, “Was that really Camelot we just walked through, or some fantasy town in the otherworld?”<br/><br/>In the courtyard they passed the familiar faces of the castle on their way to work. They crossed the paths of Sarah and Erec who both nodded respectfully, “Hi, Gwen. Good morning, sire.”<br/><br/>Gwen looked up at Arthur. “I don’t know but I hope it lasts until the end of the day; I have shopping to do in town.”<br/><br/>They saw Merlin striding across the courtyard on his way to work, unawake that Arthur was just west of him.<br/><br/>“Merlin,” Arthur shouted firmly.<br/><br/>He was genuinely taken by surprise. “Arthur,” he said, forgetting formalities as always. “Gwen!”<br/><br/>“Good morning,” Gwen said politely.<br/><br/>“Where are you going?” Arthur questioned him.<br/><br/>“To your chambers,” Merlin replied with obviousness. He was distracted by Gwen presence with Arthur and wondered what had happened for them to be walking along the street together. He dared not ask, though. “I thought you’d still be there.”<br/><br/>“Merlin,” Arthur said, with the same tone of obviousness, “what do I always do on a Tuesday?”<br/><br/>“Err,” the young servant thought, “y-you go on guard duty with Sir Kay and Sir Percival?”<br/><br/>Arthur nodded his head. “And where do we always meet?”<br/><br/>“Err, the field beside the castle?”<br/><br/>“Exactly,” Arthur said sarcastically. “We meet on the training field, so, where should you be going?”<br/><br/>“To go and get your armour?”<br/><br/>Arthur turned to Gwen. “I think he’s got it.”<br/><br/>“Don’t be mean!” Gwen scolded lightly. “I really need to go to work myself. I’ll see you later.”<br/><br/>She snapped her fingers to encourage Fach to follow. As she moved to walk away Arthur caught her by the arm. “Are you going to be okay?”<br/><br/>“I’ll be fine!” Gwen said. She was starting to get irritated by him constantly asking that question. She sighed and shook her head, “I told you I’m a grown-up girl. <em>Nothing</em> can top how horrible yesterday was; things can only get better now.”<br/><br/>Arthur nodded and, to the surprise of Merlin and a few onlookers, he kissed her on the cheek.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>It was a late Wednesday afternoon when a tired messenger finally reached the gates of Eidin<br/><br/>The royal residence of Eidin in Gododdin overlooked the proud settlement that King Lot himself had founded and built nearly thirty years ago. It was usually used as a winter retreat but with the conflict in Rheged Gododdin was a critical point. It was used to secure the west and stop Claudius and the rebels pushing into the south through Strathclyde or Bryneich.<br/><br/>As the weeks went on more and more people from the wreck of Rheged fled to follow their fallen king Urien for the continued protection of the family. Many were willing to take up arms and fight Prince Claudius and the invaders. This enlarged Lot’s already swelling army.<br/><br/>With the amount of men stationed in Eidin there was no chance Claudius would risk attack. Lot had left with Urien leaving Gawain in charge of nearly a thousand men to protect the kingdom. It was a large responsibility for a young man barely twenty but Lot saw it as good experience for Gawain. Soon a full-scale war would break out and he would have to lead his own men into battle.<br/><br/>Queen Anna sat in the large study that overlooked the main courtyard dealing with the matters of state. She had always been politically minded even as a girl but during her younger years very few people took her seriously. It had taken Lot until after their second son to trust Anna with minor the affairs of state. Now, he left everything to her while he went out conquering the Picts, the Scots, the Irish and anyone else who annoyed him.<br/><br/>Anna stretched her cramped hand. She had been trying to get through the domestic policies since lunch time and hadn’t even touched the foreign policies. Her popularity came from the fact she valued the domestic approach.<br/><br/>There was a knock at the door.<br/><br/>“Come in,” she called.<br/><br/>A smartly dressed Pict messenger entered. “A messenger from Camelot has arrived, ma’am” he said.<br/><br/>Anna continued to rub her hand, “From Áedh or the king?”<br/><br/>“I am not aware,” the man said honestly. “The messenger is awfully tired; it seems he barely stopped between Camelot and Eidin.”<br/><br/>“It’ll be from Uther then,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Allow the messenger to rest and bring him to me as soon as he is able.”<br/><br/>The man nodded, “Of course, majesty.”<br/><br/>Anna looked back to her work as he left. She picked up the quill but after a minute of staring blankly at a page on crop quotations she placed it down again and decided to take a break.<br/><br/>She slipped out of her chair, stretched her arms and then brushed down her fine silk dark blue dress. Close by to the side of her there was wall of full length mirrors. They had been there since before Anna married Lot and she had never understood their purpose. She assumed it was because the mirrors made the room seem larger, like it would go on forever.<br/><br/>Anna never stopped to admire her own reflection. She used to annoy Igraine by rarely brushing her hair properly and continuously wearing the same dress. She remembered sitting in front of a mirror as her sister dragged a brush through her hair. <em>‘Don’t you think it’s time to throw that dress away?’</em> Igraine had said, to which Anna asked her if she would mind her walking around the castle in just her chemise.<br/><br/>Anna smiled at the memories when she noticed a flicker of movement behind her. She looked over at a pair of velvet blue drapes at the side of the room that led into the Privy Council room.<br/><br/>She smiled. “I know you’re there. Out you come!”<br/><br/>At her request a small boy of seven years dressed in a grass stained tunic emerged from behind the curtains.<br/><br/>Anna rolled her eyes. “Gareth, you shouldn’t be playing in here.”<br/><br/>The little boy smiled up at her, “I was playing hide and seek, <em>mama</em>.”<br/><br/>“You should be out in the garden playing it,” Anna told her son firmly. “Are your sisters inside as well?”<br/><br/>“No, they’re still in the garden.”<br/><br/>“That’s not a nice thing to do,” the queen told her son. “They’re probably still looking for you.”<br/><br/>Gareth groaned, “They’re playing with dolls! I’d rather play with Gawain.”<br/><br/>“Gawain is busy at the moment,” Anna said, kneeling in front of her young child to brush the grass from his tunic. It was no good—he would have to change later. “He will play with you later I’m sure.”<br/><br/>She then regained her smile and walked over to open the balcony doors. Outside she could see Gawain training with the knights of Eidin. Gareth wandered to her side. He was quite small for his age and could barely see over the stone wall.<br/><br/>They both watched as Gawain tried to demonstrate an attack method to them and his younger brother Agravain. The knights all watched in interest as Gawain swiftly disabled the knight who then lay wincing on the ground as Gawain explained what he had just done. Gawain’s lightness on his foot and with a sword was a remarkable thing; it gained him the nickname ‘Gwalchmai’ – ‘The Hawk of May’.<br/><br/>Anna turned to go back inside. “If you want to do something useful,” she told her youngest, “you can fetch in your big brother for me; I need to talk to him.”<br/><br/>“Yes, mama” Gareth said. He then turned to look over the balcony and shouted at the top of his voice, “Gawain! Mother wants to speak to you!”<br/><br/>Anna spun around at the sound of Gareth’s young and childish voice calling to the courtyard below. The sound of the knights, Agravain and Gawain all laughing lofted up.<br/><br/>She laughed, “I could have done <em>that</em> myself!”<br/><br/>Gareth just turned and smiled sweetly. He was very much like Anna when she was that age—cheeky and loud when in full view but quiet and allusive when he desired. He was just a child yet he had already mastered the art of hiding where no one could find him.<br/><br/>“Mother!” echoed a voice from grounds below.<br/><br/>Anna went out and looked over the side where Gawain was looking up. “Is it urgent?”<br/><br/>“I need to discuss something with you,” she called back, before changing her tone to address both her sons. “It’s time you both came in and changed; it’ll be supper time soon.”<br/><br/>The issue Anna wished to discuss with Gawain was an important one regarding their immanent visit to Camelot. It was important that everything was in place before they got there.<br/><br/>That reminded her.<br/><br/>“I’ll have to make sure your nurses have packed everything you’ll need for <em>your</em> trip,” Anna said suddenly.<br/><br/>She was referring to the imminent return of the ‘little trio’ to Orkney. The nickname ‘little trio’ was the collective term Anna used to refer to the twins and Gareth, the three youngest children, while she used ‘big trio’ to refer to Gawain, Elaine and Agravain.<br/><br/>Lot had advised his wife that the ‘little trio’ should return to Orkney before the autumn set in so they would be out of Claudius’s reach, beyond the Pictlands. This was much to the annoyance of younger children, in particular the youngest Gareth. Agravain was also annoyed as his father informed him that he too would go to ‘look after’ the younger ones.<br/><br/>Only Anna, Gawain and Elaine would remain in Eidin, and this would only be for a short time; they were off to Camelot in a week’s time. Agravain wished that he could go too, another seed in his resentment at only being the second born son. Not that he resented Gawain being the first born and heir; he simply resented that his father saw him as ‘second best.’<br/><br/>“Do I have to go?” Gareth stropped.<br/><br/>“Yes,” Anna said firmly. She then sat down and pulled Gareth closer to her to fix his messy flaxen hair remove dirty marks from his face. “No one will be here in Eidin because your brother, sister and are going to Camelot to see grumpy Uncle Uther.”<br/><br/>He giggled. He did not remember Uther as he had been just three when he last saw him.<br/><br/>If Gareth wanted anything in his life, it was to be a knight. He had heard many stories of the knights of Camelot, and of his elder cousin Arthur, and he longed to go there. He barely remembered any of it but he wished he could go.<br/><br/>“But it’s boring in Orkney,” Gareth complained. “I’ll have no one to play with.”<br/><br/>“You’ll have your sisters and Agravain,” Anna corrected him.<br/><br/>“Clarissant and Norcadet are <em>girls</em>,” the seven-year-old sulked. “And Agravain isn’t as fun as Gawain.”<br/><br/>Anna sighed. “There are plenty of children in Orkney—you can play with them.”<br/><br/>“I wish I could go with you,” he confessed miserably. “I hate being on my own and Agravain is always mean to me.”<br/><br/>“I know,” she replied. “But he’s only doing it to look after you besides,” she went on, “If this were a family trip all of us would be going to Camelot but it’s political. It would be no fun for you.”<br/><br/>“Yes mama,” Gareth said with a look of defeat.<br/><br/>The door opened and Gawain walked in, his skin was glossy from the sweat and dirt of training. He was still smiling as always despite the fact that he knew whatever his mother had to tell him was important.<br/><br/>Gareth ran up to him and Gawain picked him up, straining his breath as he did. He swung him around a little as he always did before he placed him down again. “Hi there,” he said cheerfully. “You’re getting too big for this!”<br/><br/>Anna folded her arms and watched them. She was proud of Gawain; he was the ideal older brother to Gareth and the twins even if he frequently squabbled with Elaine. He loved his siblings. In that respect he reminded her of Tristan, who had only ever loved three women in his life and two of them were Igraine and herself. But that was where the similarities ended.<br/><br/>“It’s time you went and got changed,” she said to Gareth, although she thought it about both of them. “You too, Gawain, after I’ve spoken to you.”<br/><br/>Gawain nodded before smiling down at Gareth. “I’ll see you at dinner, okay?”<br/><br/>Gareth nodded, “Can we play a game later?”<br/><br/>“Sure, after dinner,” Gawain promised.<br/><br/>Satisfied, the little boy walked independently out of the study and towards his own chambers. As he did the sound of the lively castle wafted in and remained until he closed it again. Once Gareth was gone Gawain turned back to his mother.<br/><br/>“Have Clarissant and Norcadet come in yet?” Anna said. Although she was a queen she was still a mother. “I don’t want them staying out in the sun too long.”<br/><br/>“Agravain and I passed them on the way in,” Gawain replied, pulling off his gloves to wipe his brow. “They were hassling Elaine to braid their hair.”<br/><br/>“Ah,” Anna said, sitting down behind her desk again. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”<br/><br/>Gawain tucked his gloves into his belt and put his hands behind his back. “You want to talk about Elaine?”<br/><br/>“Our imminent trip to Camelot,” Anna said.<br/><br/>“Oh,” Gawain said.<br/><br/>His voice suddenly became more serious. He had wanted to talk to his mother about that too. Over the last few weeks Gawain had tried to approach his father on the subject. Lot was always busy, only ever coming to Eidin to freshen his troops, and every time he told Gawain ‘Talk to your mother.’<br/><br/>He was speaking on behalf of Elaine, who was not enamoured with the idea of going to Camelot. He dare not repeat to his mother what she had said to him in regards to the idea of being <em>queen of</em> it one day. ‘It’s a wealthy kingdom, rich in food produce and precious metals’ Gawain had told her, to which Elaine had retorted, ‘Exactly—it’s a tin-pot little kingdom!’<br/><br/>Elaine didn’t really mind Camelot. It was just <em>so</em> far away from home.<br/><br/>Gawain did not voice Elaine’s reluctance to marry Arthur to his mother, she knew. Elaine had spent a good week ranting at her about it after their father told her during a rare family dinner. Instead, he decided to use the tactful approach he knew his mother was expecting him to use anyway:<br/><br/>“Mother,” he began. “Do you think this betrothal is really worth while?”<br/><br/>Anna began looking through her papers. “How do you mean?”<br/><br/>“Well,” Gawain went on, “you said you wanted to talk about our journey to Camelot. I wonder whether Elaine marrying Arthur will really solve anything in the long run. Hell, does it solve anything in the <em>short run</em>?”<br/><br/>Anna stopped but did not look up, “Probably not.”<br/><br/>Gawain slumped into the chair opposite the desk, “Then why put Elaine through this?”<br/><br/>His mother finally looked up at him. “Do you speak for our kingdoms, or Elaine?”<br/><br/>“Both,” Gawain said with proud certainty that made Anna smile. He leant forward, his eyes sincere. “Mother, if we take Elaine to Camelot now to sign the alliance she knows she’ll never leave. There’d be no point bringing her home.”<br/><br/>“I know,” Anna replied.<br/><br/>“Mother,” Gawain said, perplexed by her calm behaviour. He knew his mother well to know she was the ultimate fixer and planner but he still felt het up when she was like this.<br/><br/>After a long pause Gawain finally spoke again. “Elaine has been having those nightmares again... about father and Uncle Urien, and this marriage.”<br/><br/>“I know that,” Anna said stoically. “I have as well.” Gawain said nothing, and his mother went on. “But we don’t talk about it, do we?”<br/><br/>“No, mother” he said in a defeated tone.<br/><br/>This was one of the other things that worried Gawain. Lot hated the old religion just as much as Uther did, but Anna wasn’t always going to be in Camelot to protect Elaine should she be discovered.<br/><br/>Gawain regained himself and changed the subject slightly. “And there’s Arthur to think about too. I doubt he’s too excited about marrying Elaine...”<br/><br/>Anna picked up a piece of paper and looked at it. “He certainly isn’t.”<br/><br/>“What’d you mean?” he said, glancing at the piece of paper.<br/><br/>“This,” she said holding it level with her head, “is what I mean.”<br/><br/>Gawain tilted his head. “How do you mean? What is it?”<br/><br/>Anna smiled. “It’ll certainly put your mind at rest in regards to your sister’s position in Camelot...”<br/><br/>She handed it to him and watched as he read the parchment. He looked up at her now and then as he went through it quietly. Once he had finished his head shot up to look at her, “Mother, is this--?”<br/><br/>“Yes,” she replied with a nod of the head. “You must keep this to yourself for now. Only you and I know. However in order for this to work... I’m going to need your help.” </p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After a week of hurling insults and snide remarks about Gwen behind her back and to her face the nobility were finally starting to lose interest in trying to upset her, although they still treated her nastily. They were like the bullies she encountered as a girl; once they could no longer provoke a reaction out of her, they got bored and moved on to someone else.<br/><br/>They believed that Arthur was going through a phase before his eventual marriage to Elaine and that he would dump her once the novelty of Gwen’s lower class wore off. That assumption annoyed Arthur to no end, particularly as he feared Gwen might start to worry that was true.<br/><br/>The common people of Camelot were completely different.<br/><br/>Whenever Gwen stepped outside the castle to take a walk in town it was like entering a parallel world. Away went the rolling eyes and wrinkled noses, and in came the smiles and ‘hellos’ with no tinge of jealousy or malice.<br/><br/>By Wednesday it was common knowledge to the people that the nobility treated Gwen with contempt due to her station as the prince’s sweetheart.<br/><br/>“They’re just jealous,” the cook had said to Gwen as they waited in a queue to buy some bread. “It’s not enough that they live in comfort with their fine clothes and fancy wears—they don’t understand that a prince might actually love a normal person like us.”<br/><br/>Whatever Gwen got up to with Arthur didn’t seem to bother the ‘simple folk’ as they were enchanted by the idea that someone of their station had overcome the odds and earned the love of the man who would one day be the most powerful in the kingdom.<br/><br/>There were the odd few young maids who resented what Gwen seemed to have just as there were some nobles who refused to be cruel and unkind to Gwen, such as Lady Bedivere. But they were few and far between as for the most part people were supportive, particularly those in Gwen’s neighbourhood.<br/><br/>Her neighbours were a couple with a daughter and they were particularly nice. The daughter had always looked up to Gwen because she was older and sensible, something the parents had always encouraged their daughter to be. Gwen had expected her neighbours to be disappointed in her but it was fine.<br/><br/>“I thought you’d want to keep Edith away from me when you heard,” Gwen admitted to the mother as the daughter stroked Fach.<br/><br/>“Don’t be silly!” the mother replied. “You’re a good girl, really. Edith and her friends, I think, look up to you even more now.”<br/><br/>“I’m surprised you didn’t realise before now...”<br/><br/>“To be honest I suspected for a while,” the mother admitted with a smile. “I had seen Arthur around here before and I did wonder...”<br/><br/>It wasn’t difficult given that Gwen’s whole roof had to be replaced. She could have asked the father next door to take a look at the room and he would happily have done so, so they naturally wondered why the prince gave a handmaiden such special attention.<br/><br/>Arthur found it funny that the people of Camelot accepted the news so easily, some of whom had suspected something and some that had brushed off the little hints over the last few months. “A far cry from my lot isn’t it?” he said.<br/><br/>The knights had taken it one step further and even seemed to accept of their leader’s low-born ‘girlfriend’. The nastiness had worn off on them quite quickly and, once the story of Lamorak’s humiliation got around, they were intrigued by the relationship. Never had Arthur ever threatened one of them because of a woman.<br/><br/>They found it amusing that Arthur of all people had been floored by any woman. It reminded them that all of them were susceptible to the effects of love should the right girl come along.<br/><br/>Gwen was to some of the knights a mascot. As the week wore on she became more confident about watching them practising without ridicule. The knights noticed that Arthur was a tad less violent and aggressive towards them when he knew she was watching. He would still beat them; he just didn’t beat them <em>hard</em>.<br/><br/>This helped the knights become very welcoming very quickly. Gwen had felt particularly embarrassed when Arthur and Merlin told her that they had raised a glass to her on one occasion.<br/><br/>“The only mouse to slay a dragon,” Kay had said wittily.<br/><br/>To which Arthur had quipped in return. “Believe me, Guinevere is <em>not</em> a mouse.”<br/><br/>On Friday afternoon Gwen met Arthur and Merlin in the courtyard as they had returned with the other knights from a ‘ramble’ in the forest. There were reports that a heavy storm was moving in on Camelot meaning that the afternoon hunt had to be cut short.<br/><br/>“How did it go?” she called to them as they approached.<br/><br/>“As good as it could be have with Merlin trotting along beside me,” Arthur snipped, glancing at Merlin, who pouted in response.<br/><br/>“That’s the gratitude I get for lugging your stuff around,” he retorted.<br/><br/>Despite their relationship being public and Arthur did not kiss her on the lips in public; not after doing so had exposed them. Neither of them minded as they knew they could have each other to themselves later in secret without having people in the castle and town gawping at them. Instead Gwen gave him a small kiss on the cheek.<br/><br/>“Oh,” she said to Merlin. “Morgana says she will come to see you and Gaius to collect that new sleeping draught. I know both of you have been having trouble sleeping.”<br/><br/>“Hmm” Arthur said, taking his place at Gwen’s side. “Funny that, isn’t it?”<br/><br/>Merlin tried to hide his blush through a scowl. They could talk through the dreams they had been having and ‘spot the differences’. The trouble was they had been unable to decipher anything new so far and ended up practising magic under the scowling brow of Gaius instead.<br/><br/>“I better get back,” he said, backing away from them. “Gaius wanted my help this afternoon anyway... if that’s alright with you?”<br/><br/>Arthur stood in silence with his head tilted, looking Merlin up and down, purposely making him wait for his decision. “Go on, then. I have better things to do anyway...”<br/><br/>“I’m sure you do,” Merlin commented under his breath, darting away.<br/><br/>“I heard that!” Arthur shouted after him. He turned to Gwen and rolled his eyes, “Can you believe him? Sometimes he seems to forget he’s a servant.”<br/><br/>Gwen chose not to hang that particular noose around Arthur’s neck. They didn’t need another reminder that they were shaking up of the ridged old status quo.<br/><br/>“It’s because you treat him like a friend,” she said instead. “It’s because he is your friend—you can’t expect a friend to lick your boots.”<br/><br/>Arthur draped his arm around her shoulders and sighed. “I suppose I would look like a hypocrite if I objected to that statement, wouldn’t I?”<br/><br/>Gwen looked up at him. “Just a bit, yes.”<br/><br/>“Then I shall not object,” he declared, and leant down to kiss her forehead.<br/><br/>Uther watched the exchange between his son and the girl from the window overlooking to courtyard. He tried to swallow his infuriation about them stirring up the gullible common people in support of their <em>disgraceful</em> affair.<br/><br/>There was a crash above them as the black clouds finally burst with rain, immediately hammering down on the people below. Everyone quickly moved to vacate the courtyard, many of them already drenched. Uther watched as Arthur and Gwen rushed through the side door and disappeared into the castle together.<br/><br/>He clenched his jaw.<br/><br/>Arthur had not only continued in his relationship with ‘the help’ but also ignored the fact he was due any moment to be engaged to a princess of the blood. It was humiliating, scandalous... and downright <em>infuriating</em> behaviour.<br/><br/>To the end of the week I told him! Uther thought angrily.<br/><br/>That was the most exasperating thing of all; Arthur seemed to have completely written off his father’s threat. Uther had given him until the end of the week to come to his senses and agree to his betrothal to Elaine.<br/><br/>It was now Friday and Arthur had not complied. He played it like a game of ‘call your bluff’, a game most people never tried to play with Uther due to his habit of doing exactly as he threatens.<br/><br/>Uther stepped away from the window; he had already called Arthur to see him that evening.<br/><br/>The urgency was added by the fact that Anna, Elaine and Gawain were all set to leave Eidin to come down to Camelot on Monday. This affair had to be resolved before then.<br/><br/>It angered Uther so much that Arthur didn’t seem to care about ritual humiliation before his own family.<br/><br/>He had received a new letter from Anna on Wednesday and had sent her a reply the very next day to ensure she received it as soon as possible before she left Eidin for Camelot. He was still surprised at how supportive and helpful she was, offering help in solving the problem. The issue of the handmaiden would be resolved soon.<br/><br/>Uther sent a request to see Gaius. He felt he would need his help for what was to follow. He felt a tinge of guilt about involving Gaius in this ‘mess’, but he knew he couldn’t do it without him.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>The servants of Eidin loaded the luggage that the Queen and her two eldest children would need on the journey to Camelot while their travelling party, (a sprinkling of the finest champions not only in Gododdin but the whole of Hen Ogledd), and the royal bodyguards awaited the royal family to appear.<br/><br/>Two days ago Anna, Gawain and Elaine had all seen off the other siblings on their way back to Orkney.<br/><br/>The twin girls looked like little dolls as they had sat nervously in the carriage with their tenants. Elaine had platted their sandy coloured hair into two tight knots on each side of their heads to keep it neat and tidy for the journey.<br/><br/>Elaine hugged her two sisters goodbye before Anna kissed their cheeks and told them: “Behave yourself, listen to Agravain and be nice to Gareth.”<br/><br/>Gawain had come out with Agravain and Gareth. The youngest brother looked miserable to be leaving Eidin, still not excited about returning to Orkney. Gawain tried to cheer him up by reminding him that he would be going on the ship—but it didn’t work.<br/><br/>“Cheer up, you miserable brat!” Agravain had snapped rolling his eyes. “I don’t want to go to Orkney either but, tragically, that’s life.”<br/><br/>As Anna hugged her middle child goodbye she whispered in his ear. “Don’t be so hard on you little brother, Agravain.”<br/><br/>Once Gareth was tucked away in the carriage with his sisters and the nurses Anna, Gawain and Elaine watched as Agravain and the guard led the small party out of the fort gates of Eidin.<br/><br/>“Alpin,” the queen had called to the chief guard in change of the party, “get them to Orkney safe, or I’ll use the eyes of your son for my new earrings.”<br/><br/>Two days later and it was their turn. Anna was just finishing one last piece of business before she left, not wanting to return to a stockpile when she came home. The door then opened and Gawain walked in.<br/><br/>“They’re ready for us now, mother.”<br/><br/>Anna got to her feet. “Very well then, and is your sister ready?”<br/><br/>“As ready as she’ll ever be,” Gawain replied quietly. He then took a step forward, implying he had something to say. Anna took note immediately and waited. “Mother, don’t you think you ought to tell her?”<br/><br/>“I will tell her,” the queen replied, “but only when the timing is correct.”<br/><br/>“And that will be?”<br/><br/>“Not before we board the ship,” Anna confessed with a knowing smile. “I do not want old King Ceretic hearing about it during our brief stopover in Strathclyde, not to mention your uncle Urien.”<br/><br/>“If you want to keep it so secret why did you tell me?” Gawain asked. He folded his arms and looked down, “You could have had someone impartial to help you organise everything. It would have saved me a lot of pain.”<br/><br/>Anna walked up to Gawain and cupped his chin as mothers did. “I am very grateful, dear.”<br/><br/>Gawain managed a small smile as Anna walked by him to meet with their travelling party in the courtyard. She didn’t like involving Gawain in this business but she liked to think that, once everything worked out, he would receive some gratification from it.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>The moment they were out of the public eye Gwen found herself swept up into Arthur’s arms before she knew what was happening. Even at this stage in their relationship his embrace literally took her breath away. Before she could question his sudden actions his mouth covered hers with quick, passionate kisses.<br/><br/>She instinctively responded despite having been taken by surprise, throwing her arms around his neck, running her hands through his hair... but she couldn’t shake the feeling something had to be wrong. She broke the kiss to talk and he, as if trying to silence her still, immediately pulled her close and moved his kisses down to her neck.<br/><br/>“W-what-what’s brought this on?” Gwen finally gasped out, distracted by his wandering lips. “If I didn’t know any better I’d accuse you of trying to butter me up.”<br/><br/>“Ah!” he said through trailing his mouth against the curve of her neck. “You,” he said in between the kisses, “have seen through my brilliant plan...”<br/><br/>“What’s going on?”<br/><br/>“Just,” he said, continuing as before, “enjoy the moment a little while longer...”<br/><br/>“Arthur!” Gwen said firmly, and the arms she had looped around his neck to push him away. “If it’s something important I want to know... <em>now</em>.”<br/><br/>Arthur pulled his lips away from her, still holding her in his embrace. He looked down at her and sighed. “Alright I’ll tell you,” he said, twisting his fingers through her hair. “My father wishes to speak to me this evening.”<br/><br/>Gwen looked down. “The week has gone so quickly...”<br/><br/>“It has.”<br/><br/>Her eyes met his again, hands still resting on his shoulders. “What do you think he’s going to do?”<br/><br/>“I don’t know...”<br/><br/>Suddenly, Gwen moved her hands from his shoulders to his face and pulled him towards her for another kiss. This time she took Arthur’s breath away, negotiating his mouth open to deepen their contact and coaxing a moan from his throat.<br/><br/>When the kiss was broken he looked at her through his eyelids. “Well,” he said clearing his throat, “that wasn’t the reaction I was expecting.”<br/><br/>“It’s because I never know whether it’ll be the last time,” Gwen confessed.<br/><br/>Arthur closed his eyes tightly. “Don’t say that.”<br/><br/>“I can’t help it,” she swallowed. Gwen ran her hand across his jaw and managed to smile, “This past week I have been living every day as if it would be the last... well, I’d be a fool not to.”<br/><br/>Arthur took her hand from his face to hold it in his hand. “I’d never let him hurt you, I promise you that.”<br/><br/>“I don’t care about that,” Gwen told him, squeezing his hand with hers. She looked at him with a sort of sad happiness. “There is nothing else he can do to hurt me. I have nothing worth taking,” she then chuckled ironically, “The only thing that keeps me going is my love for you.”<br/><br/>“And you’re the one that keeps me fighting.”<br/><br/>Gwen shook her head and smiled, “You’d keep fighting whether I was here or not.”<br/><br/>“Maybe,” Arthur said, running his thumb over her knuckles. “But you give me the strength I didn’t know I had,” he took her other hand as he spoke. “That’s why I can’t let you go. I hate to think what I’d become without you.”<br/><br/>“Why?” she asked, tilting her head.<br/><br/>“You keep me moral,” he said with a faint smile, “and never lose faith in me.”<br/><br/>She tightened her hold on his hands, “Many people have faith in you.”<br/><br/>Arthur’s smile widened, and he freed one of his hands to brush back a loose strand of her hair. “But <em>your</em> faith is unshakeable no matter what.”<br/><br/>That was the difference. Arthur knew that many people had faith in him but it wasn’t like Gwen’s. Even when he was at death’s door she continued to believe in him. On reflection he might have given up then had she not stayed with him, held his hand and told him to keep living. She reminded him of what he should live for; Camelot.<br/><br/>He wished his father could understand that this was the reason why he just couldn’t marry Elaine. It needed to be Guinevere. In his heart and mind <em>it had to be her</em>. It had got to a point where he felt existence without her would be very empty. Even if life did go on it would have a gaping hole in it.<br/><br/>Arthur sighed loudly, “Oh Guinevere...”<br/><br/>He lent forward so his forehead would touch hers.<br/><br/>“Oh Arthur,” she said, copying his tone amusingly. They stood like that in silence for a moment, looking at each other. Eventually Gwen smiled again and freed one of her hands to touch his cheek, “Be careful.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>The rain had blacked out light. Gaius had to light the candles in order to illuminate the room. He stood by the window watching the rain fall and keeping his ears firmly primed on the conversation going on behind him. He listened as Merlin and Morgana discussed endlessly the mysterious dream and offered up interpretations for what it all might mean.<br/><br/>Merlin compiled a list of the things they had seen and made notes beside it based on what they had both felt and thought when they saw the images. There was nothing new to report on that front; only that as time went on the feeling of dread became stronger and stronger.<br/><br/>“The real question is why am I having these dreams?” Merlin finally said. He looked over his shoulder to Gaius, opening up the discussion to him. “I have never had prophetic dreams.”<br/><br/>“Maybe you didn’t realise before now?” Morgana suggested.<br/><br/>“We don’t know for certain what you both are dreaming is ‘prophetic’ yet,” Gaius corrected him, turning to look at both of them. “Nothing you have seen has happened yet.”<br/><br/>“But it’s going to happen,” Merlin said firmly. “You know there must be something to it.”<br/><br/>Gaius sighed and walked over, standing in between where they both sat. “Assuming that both of you are receiving this dream from a divine force then there is only one explanation I can think of,” he told them. “That is <em>‘r ddyfodol gwawchia</em>.”<br/><br/>Morgana looked at him blankly. “And what is that in layman’s British?”<br/><br/>“It means ‘future scream’,” Gaius replied. “It’s a theory there used to be in the old days before the purges that when a time of great change is imminent those of... <em>sensitive natures</em>... sense the change collectively.”<br/><br/>“But only Merlin and I have the dream,” Morgana said.<br/><br/>Gaius shrugged, “You can’t be certain of that. There may be people all over Albion having this dream, slightly different to suit their situation, but the same. There may be people here in Camelot who have the dream but think it nothing but a bad dream.”<br/><br/>“And you think that it might be <em>‘r ddyfodol gwawchia</em>?” Merlin asked.<br/><br/>“It’s just a theory,” Gaius admitted. “But it has happened before; the last time it happened was before the purges began.”<br/><br/>Both Merlin and Morgana’s blood turned cold. They looked at each other and then at Gaius. “You don’t think that...” Morgana began.<br/><br/>Gaius shook his head. “I doubt it—if this is about anything it’ll be the war about the break out in Hen Ogledd. Even Uther fears that it will spread down here to the south and engulf Albion in a full-scale war.”<br/><br/>There was a lump in Merlin’s throat. He had heard so much about this war from the knights, all boasting about how they would be proud to fight and how their fathers would <em>‘allow them to carry the family crest to glory’</em>. It occurred to him sometimes that these brave young knights would do just that and be killed in battle, people that he had known, served and seen every day.<br/><br/>Merlin decided very quickly that he hated wars. He hated them with a passion.<br/><br/>“Why would we have these dreams if we cannot prevent them?” Morgana queried, breaking their long silence. “Merlin and I can’t stop a war.”<br/><br/>“You must understand that if it is <em>‘r ddyfodol gwawchia</em> there is no way to prevent it,” Gaius explained to them. “The ‘future scream’ is an omen, a warning, a tip for what is going to happen before it happens. It is up to you to deal with the situation, not prevent it.”<br/><br/>Merlin shot out of his chair with sudden vim. “But you said yourself it was only a theory.”<br/><br/>Gaius nodded. “I’d say the best thing to do would be to try a very powerful sleeping draught on both of you and see how it affects your sleep.”<br/><br/>“Not another sleeping draught,” Morgana groaned.<br/><br/>“This one is different,” Gaius explained carefully. “It will send you to sleep within seconds of taking it. If this really is <em>‘r ddyfodol gwawchia</em> then the dream will come regardless, and if not, you should both sleep right through and awaken from a dreamless sleep.”<br/><br/>“I’ve heard that before...” Morgana muttered.<br/><br/>Merlin nodded, “Frankly I’ll try anything.”<br/><br/>Morgana sighed, “Yes I suppose so.”<br/><br/>The young warlock then sighed also. “Whether it is <em>‘n ddyfodol gwawchia</em> or not, It doesn’t explain everything such as seeing Arthur, and Gwen, and why Morgana sees me in her dream... or why we keep seeing Elaine in the dream,” Merlin said.<br/><br/>“Neither of you know for certain it is Elaine,” Gaius corrected him. “You said yourself the girl felt older than she looked.”<br/><br/>“So?”<br/><br/>“It is possible that the girl in your dream is not Elaine but someone else,” Gaius suggested, wondering how he could explain it so Merlin and Morgana could understand.<br/><br/>Morgana rolled her eyes, “Who?”<br/><br/>“That,” Gaius finished, “we can only guess... but I’d listen to your feelings. If the girl in your dream feels older then she probably is and she is just... a comparison.”<br/><br/>Merlin cleared his throat and chuckled. “It’s <em>much</em> easier to assume it is Elaine.”<br/><br/>“I’m just trying to help,” Gaius said, and threw his hands up. “Clearly my presence is annoying so I shall take my leave, for now. The king wishes to see me. You two behave yourself until I return.”<br/><br/>Merlin and Morgana looked at each other and smiled. They didn’t mind Gaius being there. In fact they welcomed it. It might have been much more awkward had he not been there. He kept them from letting their guard down or slipping into a dream-like trace where they could imagine anything was possible.<br/><br/>As Gaius left they looked away from each other and tried to hide their blushes.<br/><br/>“Maybe we should leave it for today,” Merlin suggested.<br/><br/>“Yes, maybe” Morgana agreed, folding her arms and clutching her elbows.<br/><br/>There was another moment of silence before Merlin reached over and took some of the unlit candles. He placed them in front of them and smiled. “Do you want to practise the fire spell again?”<br/><br/>“Are you sure?” Morgana said.<br/><br/>“I’m sure,” he replied, smile widening. “Just... don’t set fire to your hair again.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>That evening Arthur went to see his father in the council room. He paced outside a few times before he finally took the plunge and opened the door. His eyes immediately fell on Uther sitting at the head of the table with a goblet of wine and some official papers.<br/><br/>No doubt he’s been in another meeting with that shifty ambassador Áedh, Arthur thought.<br/><br/>Uther glanced up at him with his cold, steely eyes.<br/><br/>Arthur had made a point of avoiding his father the entire week, carrying out his duties within a good distance of Uther. They had stood right next to each other at one point during the week but not said a word. He was certain it had not escaped the notice of the nobility.<br/><br/>Looking back, Arthur regretted it—not because he felt he was being harsh to Uther, who had often given him the cold shoulder in the past, but because he knew his father would probably blame Gwen. He wasn’t going to let him do that.<br/><br/>Arthur stood at the other end of the table and listened as the doors closed behind him. “You asked to see me, father.”<br/><br/>Uther looked up again and sniffed. “I’m surprised you bothered to listen to me considering you have been deaf to my commands this past week.”<br/><br/>“Have I not completed my duties in the same manner I always have?” Arthur challenged, almost daring his father to lose his temper and get to the point.<br/><br/>Tragically Uther did not bite. “The manner in which you carried out your duties is irrelevant; you have humiliated yourself in front of the entire court.”<br/><br/>“Humiliated myself,” Arthur said, once again setting the challenge. “Or humiliated <em>you</em>?”<br/><br/>This time he bit. Uther’s eyes shot up, glowering with anger as the scar on his forehead seemed to increase in size within seconds.<br/><br/>“Idiot!” he snapped, and flew out of his chair, pointing an accusing finger at Arthur. “You speak as if you have no responsibility to this kingdom.”<br/><br/>“I have always—”<br/><br/>“If you had any sense you would see how you are damaging your position by cavorting with this girl,” Uther hissed.<br/><br/>“Damaging it?” Arthur snorted, and pointed towards the window. “The people of Camelot haven’t batted an eyelid. They’ve never been happier!”<br/><br/>“And you helped stir up the people,” Uther accused. “You and your ‘peasant princess’, both of you, stirring up the people to undermine my authority and everything I have worked for the past four months.”<br/><br/>“Oh don’t be ridiculous!” Arthur groaned back, rolling his eyes and clutching the back of one of the chairs. “Why must you see <em>everything</em> I do as a personal attack on you?”<br/><br/>“Simply because it is,” Uther stated.<br/><br/>Arthur scoffed, “Believe it or not, father, I do not spend my days thinking up methods to defy you. I bearly thought of you at all this entire week, wanting to avoid your cold shoulder...”<br/><br/>Uther’s eyes widened, somewhat hurt by Arthur’s declaration. “My cold shoulder?” the king snapped back. “The fact you barely thought of me this week is evident by your erratic behaviour. You go against good judgement and have been made to look a fool by <em>her</em>.”<br/><br/>“She has a name!” Arthur shouted back. “Guinevere. Her name is Guinevere,” he told him, knowing how little his father cared. “Remembering that is the least you could do.”<br/><br/>Uther said nothing.<br/><br/>After a tense silence Arthur cleared his throat and said, “I have always done as you asked. There were many times that I abided your commands against my better judgement <em>but not this time</em>.”<br/><br/>“You have played right into her hands.”<br/><br/>“And you can’t stand that I won’t play into <em>your hands</em>, am I right?” Arthur accused disrespectfully. It made Uther twitch with fury. “Unlike the way you seem to have played into the hands of Lot.”<br/><br/>Uther’s glower became all the more terrifying, if it were possible. “How dare you!”<br/><br/>“And then there’s Aunt Anna,” Arthur suggested. “I imagine you <em>danced</em> into the palm of her hand and let her eat you with a spoon!”<br/><br/>That touched a nerve. It was bad enough that Uther could not second guess Anna and was relying on her support at present in regards to this situation without Arthur hinting towards her famed ability of playing kings like drums. It was strange but Uther felt a desire to defend Anna at that moment; for all her craftiness she was a good ally and confident. Moreover, apart from Arthur, she was the only part of Igraine left alive.<br/><br/>“You shouldn’t talk about your aunt like that,” he finally responded.<br/><br/>“Why? It’s not like she can hear me!” Arthur retorted, and looked around. “Or I don’t know, maybe she can... maybe that spy of hers is hiding behind one of these doors.”<br/><br/>Uther shot him another look of death. “I don’t know what you imply but you will desist now! Anna is your mother’s sister; she nursed you as a baby and always treated you kindly. You will speak of her <em>with respect</em>.”<br/><br/>Arthur swallowed. He did feel ashamed of striking out about his aunt that way. His father was wrong about a lot of things right now but he was right about Anna. She was always kind and affectionate towards him during his childhood when no one else would. Arthur would go as far as to say that, as a little child, he had preferred her to his father.<br/><br/>“Don’t you see what has happened here?” Uther grunted, his eyes meeting Arthur’s again. Both men were fuming at each other with anger and each one tried to swallow it while the other dared to try and snap it.<br/><br/>“What <em>do you think</em> has happened?” Arthur retorted.<br/><br/>“That girl,” Uther went on, rolling his eyes, “<em>Guinevere</em>.” Arthur nearly cringed at the way his father had pronounced her name, <em>sarcastically</em>. He had turned her beautiful name into a joke. It made Arthur feel strangely angry, more furious than he had been before. “You are allowing yourself to be manipulated by her, to do as she wishes.”<br/><br/>Arthur’s eyes darkened. “<em>Don’t</em> try and blame this on her.”<br/><br/>They began to shout and argue over each other, their voices getting louder and louder as they tried to drown the other one out.<br/><br/>Uther growled, “But this is exactly what she wants—”<br/><br/>“It is my life, father—” Arthur retorted.<br/><br/>“To be so blinded with passion—”<br/><br/>“It’s not Elaine’s—”<br/><br/>“That you would defy me blindly—”<br/><br/>“It’s not Aunt Anna’s—”<br/><br/>“And make a fool of yourself—”<br/><br/>“And it’s not even <em>yours</em>!”<br/><br/>Uther felt life tearing out his hair; it was like trying to kick down a brick wall. He spoke with the most spite he could muster, “That wench maybe appear sweet and considerate but that type play men for fools. She may pretend to be supportive—”<br/><br/>Arthur had enough and shouted before he could think: “<em>Shut up!</em>”<br/><br/>The king shook his head, “You’ve done it now.”<br/><br/>Arthur regretted <em>that</em>. He had needed to say it to get it out of his system. He couldn’t take another snide remark, another pathetic assumption that Guinevere must be playing him for a fool, another slight on his own intelligence. But he regretted saying it. He <em>knew</em> he shouldn’t have said it.<br/><br/>The doors opened and four guards marched into the room, surrounding Arthur and awaiting commands from the king. Uther regained his composure and looked at his son with the same steely look he had when he had entered.<br/><br/>“I had hoped that you would come to your senses after our last clash but it is evident to me that time has merely worsened your disposition,” the king declared firmly. “So, until you come to your senses you will be detained in the dungeons.”<br/><br/>Arthur looked at the guards around him before raising an eyebrow. “I thought as much...”<br/><br/>“And you will remain there under lock and key until you comply with my wishes,” Uther said coolly.<br/><br/>Arthur glared at him. “Then you’ll have a long wait because I won’t comply, ever.”<br/><br/>Uther folded his arms. “Won’t you?”<br/><br/>The younger man stood his ground, looked into his father’s eyes and said a quiet but firm: “No.”<br/><br/>The king turned to the guards. “Lock him up and make sure he speaks to <em>no one</em>. If he has a change of heart and apologises for his behaviour up until now, then let me know. I’ll consider whether or not to let him out.”<br/><br/>“How kind of you,” Arthur muttered sarcastically. The four guards gathered around him to lead him off. “This doesn’t solve the problem with Elaine. I can’t marry her if I’m locked up, can I?”<br/><br/>Uther turned his back on his son. The door closed behind him. The king needed time to gather his thoughts, to think straight again. He always lost his thread after an argument.<br/><br/>At that moment the doors swung open again. Uther span around to see Morgana enter followed by Arthur’s inept manservant, Merlin.<br/><br/>“What on earth is going on?” she immediately queried. “I just saw Arthur being led to the cells by the guards.”<br/><br/>“How observant of you,” Uther grunted back, not in the mood for another row. Instead the king addressed Merlin, who stood looking at him with a look he did not care for. It melted away the moment Uther’s eyes caught sight of him. “Your master will be incarcerated until further notice. You will continue your duties as normal, understand?”<br/><br/>Morgana looked over her shoulder and was rather annoyed by Merlin’s quick response of: “Yes, sire.”<br/><br/>She turned back to Uther, “Is this all because he doesn’t want to marry Elaine?”<br/><br/>“That is none of your concern.”<br/><br/>“Why must you deny him the <em>one thing</em> that makes him happy?”<br/><br/>“He can’t have everything,” he snapped back. “We as nobility have to make sacrifices for the good of our country. This will be the first of many sacrifices he will have to make as king.”<br/><br/>“This is the <em>only</em> thing he has ever asked for,” Morgana retorted. “And you deny it in the name of <em>patriotism</em>?”<br/><br/>“Enough!” Uther shouted, silencing her immediately and making Merlin jump in his skin.<br/><br/>Uther turned his glare on both of them, convinced the two of them we both in confederation with Arthur and the maid. They almost certainly were; they were the manservant and lady to the pair.<br/><br/>“I’ve had it up to <em>here</em> with <em>both of you</em>,” Uther snarled on. “If you were any sort of lady you’d have chastised your handmaiden for this <em>fornication</em>, and if you were any sort of sister you would have discouraged Arthur from this entire affair.”<br/><br/>“And if you were any sort of father you’d be empathetic,” she quirked back.<br/><br/>“I said <em>enough</em>!” Uther bellowed. “Enough, or so help me I’ll ensure that you, her and <em>him</em>,” indicating Merlin behind her, “share Arthur’s punishment. As far as I’m concerned, you’re as bad as each other.”<br/><br/>The king then swept out of them room through the door at the back, leaving Morgana and Merlin alone in the empty council room.<br/><br/>Merlin relaxed his muscles. He had been taken aback by Uther’s statement that he, Arthur, Gwen and Morgana were as bad as each other. It had briefly made him worry that he suspected something... but he didn’t, of course. He meant in their association to Arthur and Gwen’s relationship.<br/><br/>Nonetheless, Merlin felt like he had a lucky escape.<br/><br/>“What on earth was <em>that</em>?” Morgana suddenly snapped.<br/><br/>Merlin came out of his daze. “What was what?”<br/><br/>“That silly little ‘<em>Yes sire</em>’ you made at him?” she barked.<br/><br/>He lowered his eyes, “What else could I have said? In case you haven’t noticed <em>I’m a manservant</em>.”<br/><br/>“You could have done something other than just standing there!”<br/><br/>“Like what?” Merlin snarled back.<br/><br/>He knew that Morgana was worried about how Gwen would react to this news, it was understandable. But she didn’t have to take it out on him.<br/><br/>He raised his hands and walked off, “You know what? I’m certainly not arguing with you in here for the entire world to hear.”<br/><br/>Morgana folded her arms. “Where are you going?”<br/><br/>“To find Gwen,” he called back. “Someone has to tell her.”<br/><br/>Morgana took a moment to ponder nothing before she followed him, ashamed that she had taken out her frustration on Merlin. She didn’t want to argue with him but it was sometimes so easy for them to lose it at each other. Every emotion they felt was intensified by their secret, unfulfilled attraction to each other.<br/><br/>One thing they both dreaded was telling Gwen what has happened.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rain was still falling late into the night and showed little hope of letting up. There was word from the outer regions that some of the valleys had flooded. It was as if fate had decreed something terrible should happen over the next forty eight hours. People like Merlin and Morgana did wonder if it was an omen, but everyone else blamed it on the fact that Dumnonia was right next to Cornwall—a very soggy little duchy.<br/><br/>Gwen stood by the window in Morgana’s room overlooking the courtyard. The rain was loud against the cobbles. It seemed to get all the heavier since Gwen stared at it, her eyes fixed on the poor duty guards sheltering under the gateway.<br/><br/>Merlin and Morgana sat behind her in silence, listening to the downpour. They looked at each other, their eyes sending a wordless message. Neither of them had said anything since they had told Gwen what had happened.<br/><br/>“It’s my fault,” Gwen muttered quietly.<br/><br/>The two friends looked over at her. “Don’t be silly,” Morgana replied immediately. “This is just Uther throwing his weight around.”<br/><br/>Gwen turned around. “Arthur has been locked up in the dungeon, and it’s all because of me. If it wasn’t for me...”<br/><br/>“Gwen, no” Merlin said, getting to his feet. He walked to her side and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Arthur is there because he won’t agree to his father’s demands—Uther would have done that to anyone who disagreed with him.”<br/><br/>Gwen smiled briefly before she looked out the window again. Her heart felt tight in her chest. “It’s damp and cold in the dungeons,” she whispered.<br/><br/>“He’ll survive,” Merlin blurted out, not knowing what else to say. Morgana tilted her head and gave him <em>a look</em>. He quickly tried to explain himself, “I mean—Arthur has been through worse, and he’d go through worse for you...” He smirked and shook his head, “I think he’d gladly walk through the Otherworld to be with you.”<br/><br/>“But I don’t want him to go through worse for me,” Gwen said vulnerably. She covered her mouth with her hands and sighed into her palms, “I’d rather it was me locked away in the dungeons.”<br/><br/>“Don’t talk like that,” Morgana told her, and walked over to stand at Gwen’s other side so that she was sandwiched between her two friends. “The last thing Arthur would want is for you to stand around here feeling sorry for him. He’d feel terrible.”<br/><br/>Gwen shook her head helplessly. “I know but I can’t help but feel responsible for this. I should have warned him against refusing Elaine...”<br/><br/>“You did,” Merlin told her, as if she needed reminding.<br/><br/>“But I didn’t <em>mean</em> it,” Gwen confessed, and feeling exposed in doing so. She spoke like a prisoner revealing all their misdeeds at a trial: “He asked if I thought he should marry Elaine and I said no. I told him it was because didn’t want to give him up.<em> I couldn’t stand the thought of sharing him with </em>her<em> either</em>.”<br/><br/>She rubbed her eyes, worried that she might be leaking tears. Morgana brushed a piece of loose hair back behind Gwen’s ear. “That’s understandable.”<br/><br/>“And selfish” Gwen stated, ashamed that she had allowed her personal feelings to rule common sense. “I love him, and I don’t want to make way for a woman who does not—<em>cannot</em>—love him as much as me...” she took a gulp of air. “And because of all that he’s now being punished.”<br/><br/>“No, Gwen” Merlin said firmly, and gripped her shoulders. “You mustn’t think like that! I have known you a while now and you have <em>always</em> put others before yourself. It is <em>not</em> selfish to feel the way you do!”<br/><br/>Gwen managed to smile again, and looked between her two friends. They offered a warm smile in return for her faint one. Their faith in her was as unshakeable as her faith in Arthur, and she was glad they still had faith in her. “Thank you,” she whispered.<br/><br/>“Love hurts,” Merlin said, rubbing her shoulders with his palms. “It just sneaks up on you and catches you. I’ve never had to face what you have in regards to love, and hope I never will...”<br/><br/>At that moment his words trailed off and he looked to Morgana. She looked away from Merlin so quickly he couldn’t tell what was in her eyes. It was probably the same thing that was in his.<br/><br/>Merlin let Gwen go and forced a laugh. “But there is nothing wrong with what you’re feeling. Arthur feels exactly the same. If someone tried to take you away from him, he’d fight tooth and claw.”<br/><br/>“Merlin’s right,” Morgana finally said, breaking her silence. “You’re allowed to be selfish sometimes, Gwen. But what you’re feeling isn’t selfish, it’s natural. Arthur is your lover; you’re entitled to feel angry.”<br/><br/>Gwen sighed sadly, dabbing her cheeks with the back of her hand. “The thing that angers me the most is that I can’t speak to him. I just wish...” and she took another huff of air, “I wish I could just see him...”<br/><br/>She sighed again and rubbed her eyes, wet and itchy from stray tears. The fact that she felt like crying made her feel guiltier. It was Arthur that had been imprisoned, not her. Uther had said he wouldn’t let Arthur out until he had agreed to his demands. Gwen knew that even Uther wouldn’t keep Arthur there indefinitely, <em>almost</em>. But she still wished that she could talk to him. She didn’t know what she would say but the first thing that came to mind was to reason with him, to tell him to give in to his father’s demands. If refusing meant they were put through enforced separation anyway...<br/><br/>Merlin and Morgana looked at each other again before the young warlock stepped up. “Then there’s only one thing for it,” he said with a smile that made Gwen worry. “I’m going to have to break you in.”<br/><br/>The way he had said it sounded like a joke.<br/><br/>“Break me in?” Gwen repeated.<br/><br/>“I still have to take him food and things,” Merlin told her. “Tomorrow evening when I go down there you can come with me.”<br/><br/>Gwen shook her head. “Don’t be silly, Merlin. The guards know who I am, even that slightly daft one who eats leftovers. They’ll never let me past.”<br/><br/>“Uther said that no one is allowed to speak to him,” Morgana reminded him.<br/><br/>“That’s nothing!” Merlin said triumphantly. “I can get by those guards, no problem.”<br/><br/>“And how are you going to get <em>me</em> past those guards?” Gwen queried, not quite believing it although she desperately wanted to, “By turning me invisible?”<br/><br/>Merlin swallowed such a nervous laugh at that moment that made Morgana’s ears burn. Her eyes widened and she gave him a look that said <em>‘You</em> <em>wouldn’t!’</em> He even heard her voice say it in his head although the lips didn’t move. He wondered whether that was exactly what she was thinking. He wouldn’t be surprised if he really had heard her thinking given everything else they both found they could do around each other.<br/><br/>“Don’t be silly!” he said with a secretive smile. Gwen sighed unconvinced, unaware of Morgana, who raised her eyebrows at this statement. He swallowed again, “Seriously...” he said aloud. It’ll conventional means only, he thought. The truth was that he could not really put a spell on Gwen without her noticing, certainly not invisibility.<br/><br/>Morgana brushed another strand of loose hair from Gwen’s face and sighed. “You should go home and sleep,” she said softly.<br/><br/>Gwen shook her head. “I won’t be able to sleep...”<br/><br/>“Then go home and lie down,” the lady said, her voice still gentle and concerned. It was very hard to be comforting when Gwen was in such a tricky position. There was very little Morgana could do other than order her friend to rest. “That little dog of yours will be missing you.”<br/><br/>Gwen managed to smile, “That’s true.”<br/><br/>The young woman was in a daze. It was so unlike Gwen to be so out of touch with her surroundings. It was like she thought she might wake up and find that none of it had happened, that it was all a dream. But Gwen had pitched herself too many times for it all to be a fantasy.<br/><br/>Morgana shook the dazed Gwen out of her daydream. “Are you going to be alright?”<br/><br/>“Eventually I hope so,” Gwen chuckled nervously.<br/><br/>Merlin piped up again after a few minutes of silence. He placed his arm around her shoulders to lead her to the door. “I’ll walk you home,” he told her in the same concerned voice Morgana had used.<br/><br/>“You don’t have to...” Gwen protested.<br/><br/>“I <em>want</em> to,” Merlin insisted.<br/><br/>Gwen did not argue as she didn’t really want to walk home alone tonight. It was almost surreal, going home. The entire week she had used her house more as a walk-in wardrobe while she had slept at the castle. In some ways she wondered if home would even feel like home anymore rather than just somewhere she lived.<br/><br/>“Thank you,” she finally said, turning to Merlin as they prepared the leave. As Gwen turned to say goodbye to Morgana she found herself in a sisterly embrace with her lady. She smiled at Merlin over her shoulder before she let the maid go. Gwen managed to smile again, “And thank you too.”<br/><br/>Morgana nodded and watched as Gwen walked out. Then she and Merlin exchanged one last look before he too disappeared and closed to door, leaving Morgana alone.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Uther watched the dark, dreary and damp courtyard.<br/><br/>He was waiting to see Gwen, to see whether she would return to her home that night. There was no reason for her to remain in the castle—unless Morgana required her help. No, Morgana would send her home tonight. It would have been a shock for the girl to learn of Arthur imprisonment.<br/><br/>Whether she would appear or not he wanted to wait, and look.<br/><br/>He stood with a goblet of wine in one his hand. Throughout the day he had watched curiously each time Gwen left the castle, came back and cut across from one side to the other. Sometimes she was alone, other times with Merlin or her dog, and once with both of them. And then there were moments like that afternoon when she and Arthur had brazenly greeted each other for the entire world to see.<br/><br/>Even from a distance he could tell she was trying to hide her feelings; embarrassment at the slanders and surprise at the people’s support. Uther had almost expected her to garnish herself in the support for all it was worth but she didn’t, and that was <em>extraordinary</em>.<br/><br/>It reminded him again of what Gaius had told him. Gwen was not the sort of woman to be phased by wealth and status, and that if anything it would deter her. It was all <em>very</em> confusing.<br/><br/>The door behind him opened and Gaius walked in. “Gaius,” the king greeted him. “I apologise for calling back here so late.”<br/><br/>“Sire,” the trusted friend replied, “you asked me to see again?”<br/><br/>Uther turned around and nodded, “Yes. I just finished talking with ambassador Áedh about what will occur over the next few days. I felt it best I inform you of the result immediately.”<br/><br/>Gaius nodded slowly. He stood silently while Uther continued to look outside the window. He wanted to speak out about the ‘information’ the king had given him after he had left Merlin and Morgana, but he didn’t know how to approach it. In the end he said nothing, hoping that Uther would initiate the subject. And he did.<br/><br/>“You don’t mind aiding me in this affair, do you?” asked Uther, his voice strangely uncertain.<br/><br/>Gaius rubbed the back of his hands. “I wish to serve you as best I can, sire.”<br/><br/>“But you <em>do</em> mind?”<br/><br/>“I doesn’t matter whether I mind or not,” the old man finally said, looking over towards the window. It was too late for questions like this. “I know there could be worse things.”<br/><br/>There was another pause.<br/><br/>“I do it for Camelot,” Uther told him, his voice still defensive. “I cannot compromise our kingdom’s protection at a time like this. Áedh tells me that Lot and Claudius have already met in battle several weeks back on the boarder of Elmet. Claudius is <em>this</em> close to making an alliance with Mercia.”<br/><br/>Gaius nodded again, “And what of Anna?”<br/><br/>“She is already on her way to Strathclyde with Gawain and Elaine,” Uther explained, managing a small smile at the thought of that kingdom’s old king. “They will stay there for a few days before sailing here. Anna will be <em>thrilled</em> about that.” It was well known that Anna thought Ceretic a fool. “According to the letter she sent me before she left they intend to be here by the end of the month.”<br/><br/>The two men looked out the window. At that moment they both caught eye of Gwen rushing across the courtyard with Merlin. Their steps slapped the wet cobbles as the rain hammered down on them. Gaius felt his heart skip a beat. It had only briefly occurred to him that he would have to lie to Merlin about this. But seeing them together reminded him of what a betrayal this whole thing would be for him. And there was Morgana too. Both of them would be devastated and <em>furious</em> when they learned the truth.<br/><br/>They watched the pair leave the castle grounds. Gaius felt another pang of sympathy. Gwen, poor girl had been through so much; she had been imprisoned, lost her father, and had fallen in love with an unattainable man...<em>Oh, if only she knew!</em><br/><br/>Gaius was tempted to warn her, but he didn’t have the heart or the courage.<br/><br/>“What shall we do about Morgana?” the king suddenly said, his own eyes locked on Gwen’s movement. “And then there’s the boy—what will you do about him? Both are liable to object.”<br/><br/>This was the part Gaius hated the most. He swallowed and kept his neutral posture, hiding his shame beneath it. “It just so happens,” he explained, “that both Merlin and Morgana have been suffering from those chronic nightmares. I have told them that I shall be giving them a strong sleeping draught to help them sleep. It will settle them until morning.”<br/><br/>Uther moved away from the window as Gwen went inside the castle. She was clearly heading in the direction of Morgana’s chambers. “Good,” he muttered, taking his seat at the head of the table. He too felt a dull pang in his chest, the slightest feeling of shame. He chose to ignore it nonetheless.<br/><br/>“I shall administer it to them when you request it, sire” Gaius replied.<br/><br/>“Tomorrow night,” Uther said bluntly.<br/><br/>The physician’s eyes widened, “So soon?”<br/><br/>“Are you unable to make the draughts in time?” the king queried, knowing the real reason why Gaius had been so taken aback. It was very impulsive, but Uther needed this time to try and whittle down Arthur’s resistance.<br/><br/>“No, it’s just quite sudden,” Gaius went on, again trying to find the right words. “Arthur has only been imprisoned for one night... I thought you might wait as few days to see if he gives in.”<br/><br/>“Gaius, you and I both know that he won’t,” Uther said with a frustrated sigh. The king hated feeling forced into a decision. His eyes darkened slightly and he pointed towards the window. “The hold that girl has on him is... <em>is impossible to break</em>. The way he was tonight... it was like <em>madness</em>. No, I cannot waste any more time. <em>Tomorrow night</em>.”<br/><br/>Uther sorted through the papers on his desk before he found the thing he sought and handed it to Gaius. The physician took the letter from the king and read it quietly. Uther watched as Gaius’s eyes widened. It was at the name in the letter more than the content. The pair stared at each other before Gaius handed the letter back.<br/><br/>“I can tell you are surprised,” Uther commented.<br/><br/>“<em>Yes sire</em>” Gaius admittedly freely, slightly confused. “I’d have expected anything but <em>this</em>. When you said you planned to—”<br/><br/>“It was Anna’s suggestion,” Uther admitted. His ever resourceful sister-in-law who had invited herself to Camelot, no doubt to keep an eye on him now made it her business to organise the private problems in Uther’s family and help him dispose of them. “I felt that it would be too close but she believes it is the best, especially since he claims to know the girl vaguely.”<br/><br/>A sudden jolt hit Gaius. It finally dawned on him why Uther had really imprisoned Arthur in the dungeons. <em>It wasn’t to try and change his mind</em>. It was to keep him where he could see him, where he couldn’t object to what was to follow...<br/><br/>“In all honesty,” Gaius finally spoke up. “I rather it was someone we know, someone <em>she</em> knows. I would have hated to think of her far away in a strange country with people she didn’t know...”<br/><br/>“Well,” Uther said uncomfortably. He felt the tang in his chest away; he didn’t want to believe it was sympathy and pity. It would be weak of him to feel pity for the girl who stood in the way of all his plans, who had bewitched her son. He thought she should be grateful he didn’t charge her for <em>that</em>. “It won’t be the case,” he finally finished. “Don’t let it be said I am not... <em>merciful</em>.”<br/><br/>Gaius swallowed. “Indeed sire.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Merlin returned to the castle after talking Gwen home. He had stayed around for a little while as she settled in with Fach before she told him she would be fine and to go home. That was Gwen talk for ‘I want to be alone.’ He decided to go home via the entrance close to Morgana’s chambers. He didn’t know why he decided to go that way as often he tried to avoid it. But he couldn’t help himself. It was late and he knew that she was probably in bed now.<br/><br/>That’s where you should be, Merlin thought to himself.<br/><br/>The guards that patrolled the area were not in sight. He glanced up the dark stairs that led to her room. If she was still awake she would have darted out to greet him. She usually did. Or maybe she was waiting for him to return to her? Well, Merlin wasn’t in a position to find out, given that she was a lady and he was a manservant.<br/><br/>He sighed and began to move off. Just as Merlin walked through the door way leading to the dark corridors he heard the door swing over and a voice call softly to him. “Merlin...” it whispered.<br/><br/>He couldn’t help but smile victoriously. She had been waiting for him!<br/><br/>Merlin looked up the stairs to see Morgana clad in her nightdress and gown with her hair hanging loose and wild across her face standing at the top. Her face was completely overshadowed by the darkness of the alcove by her.<br/><br/>“You should be in bed,” Merlin told her.<br/><br/>“So should you. Was she alright when you took her home?” Morgana asked after a brief pause.<br/><br/>“As alright as you can expect,” the young servant replied honestly. He hadn’t wanted to leave Gwen so soon but there was nothing he could do to help her. “I’m worried about her...”<br/><br/>“So am I!” Morgana said quickly. She stepped out of the shadowy top of the stairs and descended quietly, stepping into the light. She came down the steps until she was just two steps away from being level with Merlin. “It’s not fair that she has to go through all of this...”<br/><br/>“It’s not fair on Arthur too,” Merlin said with obviousness. “He’s the one spending the night in the cellar.”<br/><br/>“Obviously,” Morgana said, rolling her eyes. She looked at Merlin’s damp jacket and hair, completely jet black from wetness and darkness. “You’re soaked through!”<br/><br/>“It’s still raining outside,” he said quietly.<br/><br/>She took another step forward, paused, and then took the final step to that she was level with him. They looked at each other for a long moment before, suddenly, Morgana reached out to touch his cheek. Merlin knew he should back away or at least reach out to stop her, but he just stood there staring at her.<br/><br/>There was a clang of armour, the guard.<br/><br/>Morgana grabbed Merlin’s hand and tugged him up the stairs and into the narrow alcove. As Arthur and Gwen had discovered the other day there was very little room for two adults in that particularly nook. Merlin and Morgana found themselves clinging to each other without realising, watching intently as the guard came closer and closer to them. The held their breaths and waited.<br/><br/>The guard came into sight, the dim light of the corridor lamps hanging over him. He had heard something. As he had been trained to he looked all which ways to see whether there was a troublemaker lurking in the shadows. He then crept towards the stairs.<br/><br/>In their small space the pair held each other closer. Morgana was so close she could feel the pulse in Merlin’s neck, the quickening of his heart and the quiver in his throat as he tried to keep control of his breath. Then there was there connection, intensified all the more by his arms on her and hers on him. She knew he could probably feel the same of her.<br/><br/>The guard leant into the darkness to see the alcove. They braced against each other. Merlin tried to tug them further into space that just wasn’t there but Morgana held him still, knowing that movement might give them away. It felt like an eternity before the guard finally gave up and turned to leave. The pair remained quiet as mice and still as statues until he disappeared from sight and the clang of his armour was faded in the distance.<br/><br/>There was a gasp of relief but neither Merlin nor Morgana moved from the position they stood on. It took them a while to become fully aware of it. He looked down and realised that his hands were resting on her waist, and that her hands were laid against his chest. No wonder the feeling had been so <em>intense</em>. It took them a while to react, too. They just stared at each other, not thinking.<br/><br/>Finally, as always, Merlin became too self-aware of where his hands were. He pulled out of alcove, allowing Morgana to stand within it easily. “Sorry,” he said quietly.<br/><br/>“For what?” she whispered back.<br/><br/>“For...” Merlin began, but then stopped, unaware of what he was apologising for. Sorry for putting my hands on you? He thought. He didn’t know how to phrase it. “I don’t know... I’m just sorry.”<br/><br/>Morgana couldn’t help smiling. “Oh, I thought you were going to apologise for touching me up.” Even in the dark she could feel his face brighten. “I suppose I should apologise for that too, shouldn’t I?”<br/><br/>Merlin still said nothing. There was another moment where they stood in silence. They both wished they could remember what they were talking about before they had run to hide from the guard. It wouldn’t be long before another one came too. Merlin knew he had to either say something or say goodnight and leave. He knew he should do the latter but he never seemed to do the logical thing where Morgana was involved.<br/><br/>Then she laughed suddenly. “Look at me,” she said, stepping out into the light. “I’m soaked through.”<br/><br/>Merlin went even redder; in their embrace he had felt both hot and wet, completely forgetting he had just run home through the rain. He was somewhat ashamed as he realised they must have been standing very close for him to have dampened her too.<br/><br/>“Maybe that’s what I’m sorry for,” he managed to joke.<br/><br/>She nodded, and then, finally remembered what she had wanted to ask Merlin. “Are you serious about sneaking Gwen in to see Arthur tomorrow?”<br/><br/>He was relieved that she had brought up the subject. He nodded and smiled, “Yes I am.”<br/><br/>Morgana tilted her head. “How are you going to get her by the guards without using, you know, the ‘m’ word?”<br/><br/>“I haven’t decided. I know I can’t make her invisible... but I’m sure there’s a—” he suddenly became aware of the fact they were standing up the stairs. Instinctively he rushed up the stairs to the door of her room and beckoned her to follow. Morgana found it quite amusing. She stood close and listen to him whisper, the sound of it tickling the inside of her ear. “I think there might be a charm I could use that would make her <em>unnoticeable</em> to them.”<br/><br/>Morgana tilted her head, “Isn’t that the same thing?”<br/><br/>He shook his head, “To make someone invisible you need to put a spell on them or on an object they will wear. The spell cannot be broken unless you lift it. I won’t have time to put a spell on one of Gwen cloaks or something and then take it off without her noticing.”<br/><br/>“So...”<br/><br/>“So,” he went on, “if I am right about the charm I should be able to make it so that the guards won’t see her.”<br/><br/>“And what about Arthur, will he be able to see her?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.<br/><br/>Merlin smiled. “That’s the beauty of the charm,” Merlin said proudly, his gawky smile lightening up again. “You can only see through it if you know the charm is there, if you are like us (with the gift) or if you <em>really</em> want to see that person.”<br/><br/>“I see,” she said, getting to grips with what she was telling him. “So the guards won’t see her because they don’t expect to or want to; you obviously <em>will</em> see her because it’s your charm...”<br/><br/>“And Arthur will see her because he’ll want to see her more than anyone or anything,” Merlin finished triumphantly.<br/><br/>Morgana smiled, “That sounds ideal!”<br/><br/>“It’s similar to the one I used on May Day,” he explained, thrilled to be able to give her an example. He knew a teacher should always tell the student examples. “You remember the one I used to make myself look like Arthur? It’s the same principle. The difference is that instead of looking like someone, you look like a shadow.”<br/><br/>It all sounded too good a plan. There had to be a snag. Merlin said he would have to look into it, which usually meant he hadn’t used the charm yet (or if he had it had gone wrong.) Then again the Arthur charm worked, even if Merlin’s acting made people think that their prince was plastered out of his mind.<br/><br/>“If it works will you teach it to me?” Morgana asked. She <em>really</em> wanted to know <em>this</em> charm. It might come in handy for her one day. “It seems like a useful ‘trick’.”<br/><br/>Merlin laughed, “Of course I’ll teach you!”<br/><br/>The part of him that enjoyed imparting his wisdom (such as it was) and showing Morgana how to master her abilities sparked up again. It was all to do with the connection. It frightened him nearly as much as the bubbling desire he felt to be closer to her became. Yet it comforted him. It was the feeling of not being alone. He knew he shouldn’t get too close to Morgana, for many reasons, not just his developing feelings...<br/><br/>But he couldn’t help it.<br/><br/>“I think it would be good to show you a few charms rather than spells and enchantments,” he added quickly. “The charms are much easier to put together. You just have to be careful when looking for ingredients, especially if you’re buying them in town.”<br/><br/>Morgana laid a hand on his chest, knowing that this would silence him. It had been just another excuse to touch him. She smiled attractively at him, “Thank you, Merlin. You better go home else you’ll get a cold.”<br/><br/>“Huh?” Merlin said, not understanding and then realising he was still very wet and that the dampness as settling on his skin. “Oh,” he said, embarrassed. “Yes, you’re right... I’d better go home.”<br/><br/>He turned and went down the stairs. That had never happened before. It was usually Merlin who decided when to exit their meetings but this time Morgana had ‘freed’ him herself. Maybe she too was starting to realise they had to have some boundaries? Maybe she wanted to draw the line? Or maybe... she just didn’t want him to catch a cold.<br/><br/>The truth was she’d have given anything for him stay and talk more. She dreaded the thought of having to go to sleep and see that dream again. It felt much better to talk to him, to someone who knew what it was like to wake up in a cold-sweat because they had seen something or felt something. Merlin had felt that even before the ‘collective scream’ or whatever it was Gaius called it.<br/><br/>Morgana suspected also that she quite liked having wisdom too. Merlin had only started to have the dreams while she had suffered with them her whole life. It made them more alike and allowed her to be the mentor. It felt fitting given that she was slightly older and less naive.<br/><br/>It was sometimes easy for them to see the practicality of their friendship, especially in times when Arthur and Gwen needed their help. Then there were the times practicality had nothing to do with it and it was just passion that fuelled them, be it magical or repressed sexual tension.<br/><br/>It was so complicated!<br/><br/>“Goodnight,” Merlin said, turning to wave goodbye.<br/><br/>He was glad that she had gone to the top of the stairs again to watch him leave. It might have killed him if she had just gone into her room. She never had and he didn’t know why he’d think she might, but it was still at that back of his mind.<br/><br/>“I think what you’re doing for Arthur and Gwen is wonderful,” she whispered down to him.<br/><br/>He felt a tug in his chest, “Thanks, you too. And I’m sorry again for getting you wet.”<br/><br/>“Don’t worry,” she replied faintly. “It was worth it.”</p><p>-</p><p>The next morning seemed to pass very quickly. The entire court was bursting with amazement over the news that Prince Arthur had been locked away in the dungeons after his refusal to marry Princess Elaine due to him being blinded by love for his low-born ‘girlfriend’, the now infamous ‘peasant princess’ (as some called her) Guinevere. The scandal seemed to get richer and richer by the day. It both excited and shocked the nobility as it raised the question of whether people of their status could consort with people of her status.<br/><br/>The women still sneered and jeered, most out of jealousy. The truth of the matter was that many of their husbands, brothers and sons consorted with lower-born women <em>frequently</em>. But rumour had it that the prince had was to vouchsafe to the girl. That had never happened before. Love had occasionally crossed boundaries of class; there were times when earls had married countesses and dukes married baronesses... but nonetheless, they were all nobility. There had never been a question of a prince <em>falling in love with a maidservant</em>.<br/><br/>The question that confused the courtiers even more was, what did Arthur intend to do with the maid? Surely he couldn’t think to marry her! The woman he married would one day be the queen, so a mere servant girl <em>couldn’t</em> possibly be up to the task. An apt queen needed to be a blood royal, or at least one of the girls at court. <em>They</em> were the ones who had the correct breeding and intellect to be consort to a king. The only thing the maid could do was sew the buttons back on his shirt!<br/><br/>Lamorak summed up the feelings of the disgruntled nobility brilliantly: “He wishes to trade the whore’s crown for a royal one.”<br/><br/>But maybe they were all jumping to conclusions? The king would never allow Arthur to marry someone so low born even if he was looking for a local girl for his son to marry. There would be nothing to gain from it; no money, no lands... it would be pointless. Surely even Arthur could see that even if he had gone mad with love...<br/><br/>Despite being the centre of all the blame and speculation Gwen carried on with her duties around the castle regardless of the gossip just as she had done throughout the whole week. Some of the younger noble women seemed to treat Arthur’s incarceration as a sort of victory for them, although Gwen couldn’t understand why. Morgana said it was a case of ‘if we can’t have him, then neither can you.’ Gwen knew that they would resent anyone who had Arthur, just as much as she knew she would resent Elaine marrying him.<br/><br/>The only thing that distracted her was Merlin’s plan to sneak her into the dungeons to see Arthur. Her chest was tight at the thought of it, with fear and anticipation. She desperately wanted to see him but feared how he would react or whether she would get caught and land both of them, and Merlin, in even more trouble.<br/><br/>Merlin was in her company most of the day when she was out of Morgana’s and about the castle. He said to keep her company but Gwen suspected he was acting as her watchdog. (That was true but he was also looking for an opportunity to put the charm on her cloak.)<br/><br/>“It’s not fair for you to risk the sack like this,” she told him as they walked through her front door that afternoon. They were greeted by Fach running up to them; it was feeding time. “I know the dungeons—if I am to see Arthur I should risk doing it myself.”<br/><br/>“Why should you when I’m going there anyway?” he responded. At that moment Gwen removed her cloak, hung it on a hook and turned her back to feed Fach. This was his chance to do the charm. He kept her talking to keep her distracted. “After all,” he began, hoping to initiate a subject that would buy him those precious few seconds, “I am his manservant. You should let me distract the guards while you sneak in to see him.”<br/><br/>“I am grateful for all you’re doing,” Gwen said, her back now turned. As she spoke Merlin put the enchantment together, whispering words under his breath. “It sometimes embarrasses me just how much you have done for Arthur and I over the months,” she went on. “<em>Alli mo canfod</em>” he whispered, clutching the fabric of the cloak. “You and Morgana,” she added with a sigh, “I sometimes feel you two know my secrets better than I do!”<br/><br/>“That’s just silly,” Merlin chuckled back, and whispered under her reply: “<em>hi dydy neb.</em>”<br/><br/>The material glowed under his hand. “I suppose,” Gwen said, turning around. Merlin leapt in front of the hook, only glad the charm was set and the glowing would finish soon. “Are you alright?” she asked, seeing his expression, “You look a little... flustered.”<br/><br/>Merlin chuckled nervously, “Not at all! I’m just...” he felt the glowing cease behind him, and be freed his hands from the cape to reach out and take her hands. “I’m just worried about you.”<br/><br/>Gwen tilted her head, “Well don’t be!”<br/><br/>She turned around again to pat Fach’s head as she chomped away at her lunch. Merlin sighed, that never fails to stop Gwen asking questions. He glanced around the room when something next to her bed caught his eye. He walked over to have a look.<br/><br/>“What’s that?” Merlin queried. He indicated towards the shelf above her bed. “It looks like an angel.”<br/><br/>Gwen turned around, and smiled fondly. She walked over to pick it up, “It’s my silver fairy, it was given to me by Cador.”<br/><br/>Merlin’s ears burnt, “The Duke of Cornwall? Morgana’s uncle.”<br/><br/>She nodded, “This was before he became the duke. It was just after my mother died. My father made and sheered his swords for him and they became friends through that. That’s how I became Morgana’s maid, Cador introduced us to Gorlois.”<br/><br/>“I never knew that story.”<br/><br/>“He gave me a little green box too,” Gwen added, remembering it as if it were yesterday. She could still see Cador standing there in a long dark coat with his long, white fingers coiled around her father’s shoulder as he offered sympathy. And she remembered Arthur. He had been there too. It was almost predestined. “Father said I should always keep it close...”<br/><br/>He picked up the silver fairy and smiled. “Why don’t you carry it around?”<br/><br/>“I’m worried I’ll lose it.”<br/><br/>“Just for today, I mean” Merlin suggested. “It might make you feel better.”<br/><br/>Gwen doubted that. The fairy meant a lot to her because someone in a high authority gave it to her and her father had frequently seen it as something to be treasured. Yet it had never done what her father had hoped it to do for her. It was merely a treasured possession that sat above her bed and reminded her of the days when Cador was still on speaking terms with Camelot and her father was still alive...<br/><br/>But there was something else the fairy had come to represent. Gwen felt her heart race faster. It was more significant to her than it had ever been before now. She clutched the cold metal in her hands and smiled. Maybe this fairy would serve a better purpose and come to mean more than just a memory?<br/><br/>“It may not bring comfort to me,” Gwen said quietly as she slipped the tarnished silver fairy into her pocket. “But for the first time it’s as if...”<br/><br/>Merlin, who had been standing quietly while Gwen contemplated the fairy, finally broke his silence. “Are you alright?” he asked.<br/><br/>She snapped out of her daze and smiled, “Yes! Sorry, I was just talking to myself.”<br/><br/>They walked back to the castle together. As they went some people stopped them and asked if it was true that Arthur had been locked away in the dungeons. Gwen reluctantly confirmed this, and was forced to remember again why he was there. She was certain that the people would begin to hold it against her, and she wouldn’t blame them for doing so.<br/><br/>But once again she was proved wrong as the people immediately turned their anger on <em>the king</em>. The things they said were rather unflattering, even if Gwen agreed with them.<br/><br/>“Don’t say that!” Gwen quickly told one particularly gossipy lady (who was friends with the palace cook.) “You’ll get yourself locked up too if you speak out of line about the king.”<br/><br/>“He can’t lock the <em>whole of Camelot</em> up, love” the lady replied.<br/><br/>If anything they were further enchanted by the story unravelling before their eyes. Their much-loved prince had been locked away by their tormented king for refusing to betray his beloved maid by marrying a foreign princess. It was another stanza to add to the epic tale that had become the prince and the handmaiden.<br/><br/>This worried Gwen in many ways, that people saw her merely as the character in a fairytale come true than a real person. It bothered her that they didn’t understand the gravity of being in love with the prince; the torment and helplessness.<br/><br/>Merlin assured her that there was more to the people’s support of her than that. “The people look up to the gentry because they are led to believe they are better, but you <em>understand them</em>. They know you and you know them. That’s why they look up to you—you are one of them.”<br/><br/>Gwen’s continued popularity did not go unnoticed. The nobility that walked in the courtyard turned their noses up, annoyed that the ‘common folk’ were still gushing all over her. But it wasn’t all the nobility. As they made their way towards the main entrance they passed Sir Kay, who politely nodded to Gwen as he crossed the courtyard, walking in the direction of Lady Bedivere’s apartments.<br/><br/>The positive noises of the crowd as Gwen walked by did not go unnoticed by those inside the castle either. Several of the nobility looked out their windows to see what was going on including Morgana. Some smiled, some frowned and others just stared.<br/><br/>One person in particular who just stared was the king himself. Uther did not feel angry; he just watched her as she walked passed. The crowd could be heard through the closed glass window. It seemed that his actions against the ‘lovely’ couple had only intensified the people’s love for the ‘commoner queen.’ Eventually he looked away and turned to look at Áedh and Gaius who stood behind him, wordless. There was very little they could say.<br/><br/>Uther’s silence was no doubt due to the fact that tonight was the night he would finally solve his problem.<br/><br/>Even from inside the cells Arthur could hear the goings on from the window above his head. He hoisted himself up, clutching onto the bars to see what was happening. He couldn’t really see anything, not least because there were things blocking his sight (not including the iron bars.)<br/><br/>There was a bang behind him as the patrol guard clanged the gate to that section of the prison open and shut. Arthur dropped down from the window and settled down again on the floor. When the patrol guard came by he looked in on a brooding prince who, from his point of view, hadn’t moved from that spot since he came on duty. The guard glanced over at the table where Arthur’s breakfast still sat, untouched.<br/><br/>“If you don’t eat we’ll have to inform the king,” the guard told him through the bars.<br/><br/>Arthur shrugged. “Then tell him.”<br/><br/>The guard shook his head and walked off. God, what an idiot! Arthur thought, stretching out his legs in front of him. He wasn’t starving himself on purpose to make a point (Although Uther would probably interpret it as such), he genuinely wasn’t hungry. It didn’t take up much energy to sit there and stare at four walls so he didn’t feel like eating much.<br/><br/>He wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone. The closest he ever got to a conversation was when Merlin came to bring him his food, and they were frequently brought to a stop by guards on patrol who would order Merlin off.<br/><br/>Thinking was the only pass time Arthur had in that cell. He spent most of his time in a semi-conscious state thinking about nothing, just staring into space. When he did think it was mostly about Gwen. Some thoughts were simply of what she was doing and whether she was thinking about him too. He knew she was; it was what she would do!<br/><br/>The other thoughts about her were musings of their relationship; holding her, kissing her and making love to her. It helped get him through that lonely night. He thought about what Gwen had said the last time they kissed, that she lived every day of their relationship as if it would be their last kiss, last embrace... He didn’t want to have to live like that.<br/><br/>It made him think of Elaine. He tried again to see where the benefits came from marrying her, still blinded to them. He wondered if even his father knew the benefits, probably not. This was no longer a case of Uther punishing Arthur for the good of Camelot; this was about obedience. Uther wanted Arthur to marry Elaine <em>simply because he liked the idea</em>.<br/><br/>Arthur could see there were plenty of reasons to like it on a personal note given Elaine’s beauty and probability of fertility, but what was the point if all Arthur would ever do was thinking about Gwen?<br/><br/>He almost feared the effect that would have on him if he married Elaine. He wondered if he would resent Elaine simply because she wasn’t Guinevere. He didn’t want to do that—Elaine deserved better than that. And Guinevere deserved better than <em>this</em>. He didn’t want her to compromise her love for the sake of a wife he didn’t want. They were lovers, vouchsafe to each other. He didn’t want her to be forever branded with the label ‘mistress’. He wanted to give her the whole lot.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Merlin rushed up the stairs to Morgana’s room and, as per usual, she was waiting by the door for him. He no longer complained about her startling him because he felt he would be more worried if she wasn’t waiting for him. He even hoped that she would always be waiting for him when he came to see her. The sight of each other still left them in an awkward flutter.<br/><br/>Morgana cleared her throat. “So come on,” she began. “Did you put the charm on the cloak?”<br/><br/>Merlin hummed a little bit to himself, determined to tease her. He walked around the room, feeling her eyes watching him as he moved. “Those guards aren’t so bright,” he joked as he put down some of things he was carrying onto the table. “It wouldn’t too hard even without magic.”<br/><br/>“Merlin, stop teasing me!”<br/><br/>The young warlock smiled. “I did it this lunchtime, actually.” Morgana tilted her head, waiting for him to explain. Merlin went on, “We went to her house to feed Fach. I saw an opportunity and didn’t want to miss it...”<br/><br/>Morgana walked to stand beside him, for no other reason than to be closer to him. Merlin could feel their connection bubbling up again. They were kindred spirits. That was why he was telling her all this, to share his craftiness with the only woman who would understand.<br/><br/>“What did you call this charm again?” she asked, leaning closer.<br/><br/>He leant closer as well, “It was a perception charm.”<br/><br/>Her eyes lit up. “Like the one you used at the masked ball?”<br/><br/>“It’s very similar,” Merlin replied brightly. He pulled off the wrist band he had been wearing in order to explain the principles to his ‘student’. “You remember last time I wore something around my neck to make me appear like Arthur. This one is slightly different. I say <em>alli mo canfod</em>, and the charm is set.”<br/><br/>Morgana raised an eyebrow, “Just like that?”<br/><br/>“I’ll show you.” He put the wrist band back on. “I placed an incantation on her cloak without her seeing. Once I finish the incantation, which is <em>hi dydy neb</em>, it will appear as if no one is there.”<br/><br/>Morgana shook her head, chuckling. “I can’t believe it’s that simple!”<br/><br/>“Its simplicity comes from the fact that it doesn’t make someone invisible, just unnoticeable. If the person under the charm talks to someone the spell is broken. The reason I chose it is because it’s the only spell I can do without telling her.”<br/><br/>“The people saw her when she returned to the castle,” the lady then pointed out sceptically. “How do you explain that?”<br/><br/>“I told you last night they expected to see her, they <em>wanted</em> to see her,” Merlin reminded her. “Besides she spoke to some of them—that breaks the charm too, if the person talks to someone who cannot perceive them.”<br/><br/>Morgana nodded. “And the guards won’t see her?”<br/><br/>“As long as she doesn’t speak to them she’ll remain unnoticed,” he explained. “The only ones who will see her will be Arthur and me.” He showed her the wrist band and smiled mischievously, “I’ll make you a bet that Gwen won’t see me until I speak to her. She won’t expect me here and her desire to see me isn’t <em>that</em> strong, so I should remain unnoticed.”<br/><br/>“What about lifting the charm?”<br/><br/>“It wears off after about day,” he told her. “Or you could just say ‘<em>mheidio</em>’ and it would be lifted.”<br/><br/>Morgana shook her head again. She enjoyed moments like this even though Merlin was often right when he said something would work. It was just that Morgana liked to see it for herself, and she so enjoyed sizing Merlin up. “If it does work,” she told him, accepting the bet, “you are <em>so</em> teaching this to me!”<br/><br/>“I promised that I would and I will,” Merlin said.<br/><br/>There was a very short pause before the subject was changed.<br/><br/>“Oh!” Merlin said suddenly, changing the subject completely. “Gaius wanted me to let you know that he is preparing for us to take a <em>very</em> strong sleeping draught.”<br/><br/>The lady groaned, annoyed. “So what else is new?”<br/><br/>“He says this will be a very strong one,” the young warlock explained, his words filled with the same emphasis Gaius had used when he told him earlier. “A very, <em>very</em> strong one... should knock us into a dreamless sleep.”<br/><br/>Morgana snorted. “And if it doesn’t we’ll be trapped in our nightmare.”<br/><br/>“At least we might see the whole thing all the way through.”<br/><br/>“Or just the same horrible images circling through our heads over and over” Morgana retorted, clearly not thrilled by the prospect of being ‘knocked out’ for the night. “Surely he’d do better to take one of his heaviest books and hit us over the head with them. That’ll put us out.”<br/><br/>Merlin found it hard not to snigger a little at her statement. He shifted closer to her and spoke softly, “Gaius is trying his best to help us. I can tell he’s worried. He seems all on edge at the moment like...”<br/><br/>“Like what?”<br/><br/>“Like something bad is going to happen...”<br/><br/>That was no news to Morgana as she had suspect something bad was going to happen for a long time. But Merlin was right about Gaius. If he thought something bad was going to happen, it was. Not only did the old man have the king’s ear but he had no natural magical gifts foresee the disaster in his head; he only saw the close and significant events. It was hard not to feel worried.<br/><br/>There was no time for further thoughts as Gwen entered at that moment. Merlin ducked to the side of the room so as not to make is presence obvious as the young maid entered and greeted her mistress. “I’m sorry for taking so long,” she said in her domestic tone.<br/><br/>“You have more important things on your mind,” Morgana said, placing her hand on her friend’s shoulder. Her eyes were fixed on Merlin in the corner of the room. Morgana was determined to see if it really was worked. “Gwen, could you just reach over and get my brush for me.”<br/><br/>Without a thought Gwen picked up the brush, right next to where Merlin was standing. He remained unnoticed. Morgana’s eyes were still fixed on him, her face a half-frown, half-smile. She didn’t know whether to be impressed or annoyed that she had lost the bet. Merlin simply responded by giving her a thumb up before he revealed himself.<br/><br/>“Hello to you too, Gwen!” he announced.<br/><br/>The young handmaiden nearly stumbled in alarm. “Merlin!” she gasped, wondering how she could have missed him. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there!”<br/><br/>“Never mind,” he said cheerfully. “I’m pretty unnoticeable.”<br/><br/>There were times when Merlin and Morgana felt a little guilty about always using Arthur and Gwen as pawns for their little magic tricks. While they seemed to know all and see all, they both stumbled about wondering how pears had turned into apples, what was that strange clinging sound and how on earth did Merlin manage to appear <em>out of nowhere</em>.<br/><br/>Gwen smiled. “I’m sorry.”<br/><br/>“Don’t be,” Merlin told her genuinely. He changed the subject quickly to real reason why he had waited for her to arrive, “You and I should make our way to the dungeons soon. I’ll be going down to the kitchens to take Arthur is evening meal.”<br/><br/>Gwen nodded slowly. She gave an absentminded sigh and slipped her hand into her pocket to take out the silver fairy. As she admired it in her hand Morgana eyed it with interest. “That’s pretty,” was all she said.<br/><br/>“Yes,” Gwen replied with a faint smile. “It was given to me as a present after my mother died. My father used to think I should always keep it close for good luck but... I wonder if I’m the one who needs luck anymore.”<br/><br/>“Everyone needs luck,” Merlin remarked.<br/><br/>Gwen replaced the fairy back in her pocket. “But some need it more than others...”<br/><br/>The pair waited another half an hour for the sky to darken before they made their way towards the dungeons. The three friends had sat around the table in Morgana’s room trying to make small talk for the first few minutes before it slowly drifted back to the issues that concerned them in regards to Arthur, the war...<br/><br/>Then Merlin decided enough time had passed for him to collect his master’s dinner without looking too eager. He stood up, “We should get going.”<br/><br/>They did the full length of the castle together. It was starting to wind down for the evening so no one noticed Merlin and Gwen walking around the place. Then again no one seemed to notice Gwen at all. The spell had now taken full effect and she was no more than a shadow flickering at Merlin’s side. If anything Gwen seemed grateful that no one stopped her or spoke to her after having nothing but attention for the past week, though she couldn’t know the reason why.<br/><br/>Eventually once Merlin had picked up the simplistic meal he had prepared to try and tempt Arthur to eat something the two friends scurried across the courtyard towards the dungeons. Merlin frequently had to get past the guards before in order to visit The Great Dragon, so distracting them long enough to convince Gwen she won’t be seen when she creeps by them wouldn’t be too difficult.<br/><br/>The pair quietly snuck down the stairs and looked over the banister to see where the guards were and how many. There was just the one there. Merlin smiled, pleased with his timing. The other one had snuck off early before the next guard came on duty. This was a golden opportunity.<br/><br/>He turned to Gwen and whispered very, very softly. “You know what to do, I’ll distract him and you sneak by while he’s not looking. Wait in the alcove just down the corridor. I’ll take you to Arthur’s cell. Remember, don’t panic and rush—just walk fast but quietly.”<br/><br/>Gwen nodded slowly as watched as Merlin stepped gingerly down some of the steps, his eyes on the guard. He needed to warn Gwen not to run by when the moment came because even that could draw attention to her and break the spell. Convinced the timing was right Merlin then began to skip down the stairs, alerting the guard to his presence.<br/><br/>The guard looked up and smiled, “Evenin’ there, Merlin. Come to bring him-down-there is teas have you?”<br/><br/>Merlin went along. “Yep, something simple this evening—hopefully he might eat this. The king ordered me to stand nearby and make sure he eats some of it this time.”<br/><br/>“He didn’t seem concerned when I told him I’d report his lack of appetite to the king.”<br/><br/>“It’s especially funny because normally he eats like a horse.”<br/><br/>As they spoke Merlin moved himself around so that the guard’s back would be to the back of the door. The guard didn’t suspect anything because Merlin was always chattering away. To be honest he enjoyed listening to the boy’s silly remarks.<br/><br/>Watching from above them Gwen saw her opportunity and slowly made her way down the stairs.<br/><br/>“Yeah, you know, that bloke who is on hunger strike had his breakfast in the end this morning,” the guard went on.<br/><br/>“Really?” said Merlin, feeling Gwen behind him. It was his heightened senses that picked up her movement; it caused sweat to trick down the back of his neck. He hoped she wouldn’t move too quickly. Gwen was quiet though, swift and silent as she took her chance and swept behind the guard and into the dark corridor. “It’s a funny old world, isn’t it?” Merlin finished, sensing that she had passed. “Well, best get this to the miserable prat, hadn’t I?”<br/><br/>The guard nodded and walked towards the corridor with Merlin. “Yeah, better had... I don’t blame him for being miserable though, what with Gwen and everything.”<br/><br/>Merlin nodded quietly. “You don’t know the half of it...”<br/><br/>They passed the alcove where Merlin had told Gwen to hide. He glanced sideways and saw her in the corner of his eye, standing in the dark quiet and still. Merlin turned to the guard, “Hey shouldn’t you get back to the front?” he questioned the guard. “I noticed you were on your own, and you remember what happened last time someone skived off earlier and then left the front unattended.”<br/><br/>The last time Merlin spoke about was when one of the guards, left on his own, had fallen asleep on duty allowing for a rescue party to sneak in and rescue a fellow good-sorcerer being held captive. The guard was reprimanded but excused on the grounds that he claimed to have been enchanted with a sleeping charm, which wasn’t too far from the truth—Merlin had been the one who cast it.<br/><br/>The guard stopped and sighed. He then fished to the loop of keys around his belt, slipped one of them off and handed it to Merlin. “Go on, I trust you” he said with a daft smile. “I had better wait for my buddy to turn up... just be certain to give back the key as you leave.”<br/><br/>Merlin smiled, “I’m hardly going to walk off with them, am I?”<br/><br/>The guard laughed and turned back to go to the front. Merlin watched and waited until the clang of his armour was distant before he crept back to the alcove to retrieve Gwen. He poked his head in and her hand reached out to take his. He smiled and handed her the key. He led her down the day, dimly-lit corridor towards one of the back dungeons. It surprised Gwen that there were no guards on patrol nearby. It was as if someone knew she would turn up and kindly made it easy to gain access to Arthur. But that was ridiculous.<br/><br/>Eventually Merlin stopped just before another cell and looked at her. He carefully stepped forward to the bars and knocked them gently. The metallic clang echoed slightly. Merlin then motioned Gwen forward with the key as the inhabitant muttered, “I told you Merlin I’m not hungry...”<br/><br/>The key clinked in the lock and the door opened. Arthur had his back to the door and was staring up at the barred window. Gwen stepped into the room holding the bowl and sighed, “You really should eat something, you know.”<br/><br/>Arthur span around at the sound of her voice. His eyes widened and his expression softened, he was so glad to see her that he blinked twice to make sure he hadn’t fallen asleep. Convinced she really stood there before him, he swallowed thickly, only able to say: “Guinevere...”<br/><br/>Merlin closed the gate behind her and stood to one side to give them privacy. Gwen placed the bowl down on the table as Arthur attempted to get to his feet. The constant sitting on a stone floor combined with eating very little made him feel a little faint and dizzy. He wanted to embrace her and kiss her but ended up stumbling forwards from a head rush. Gwen held him and kept him steady.<br/><br/>“You see,” she snapped, taking both his hands in hers, “it’s because you’re not eating.”<br/><br/>Gwen rested her fingers gently against Arthur’s knuckles. “It doesn’t take much energy to just sit here and do nothing,” he muttered back, soothed by the basic touch. He had been longing for it the whole time. “I thought about you all last night, and this morning, and this afternoon...”<br/><br/>“I thought about you all day too,” she whispered back, and continued to brush his knuckles with the tips of her fingers.<br/><br/>Gwen watched the movement of her own hand and Arthur watched her watching herself. Then their eyes met again, speaking volumes over anything they could have said. In that look alone they said ‘I miss you’, ‘I hate this’ and ‘I love you’ with more ease and honestly than it could ever have sounded aloud.<br/><br/>“I never stop thinking about you,” Gwen finally continued sorrowfully. “I think of you stuck here because of me <em>and it drives me mad</em>...”<br/><br/>“It’s not because of you--!” Arthur protested, but he was silenced as Gwen reached up her hand to touch his cheek, and then brush her hand through his hair. It completely struck him dumb and he stood with his eyes closed, indulging in the caress.<br/><br/>“Arthur,” she began, her voice now controlled and calm. She continued to brush her hand against Arthur temple as she spoke, as if attempting to soothe the blow of what she was about to say. It was going to be as hard to say as it would be to hear. “Arthur...” she said again, “tell your father you will agree to marry Elaine.”<br/><br/>Arthur’s eyes shot open. “<em>What?</em>”<br/><br/>“Hear me out,” Gwen said quickly, knowing that he would argue against this. She continued to stroke his temple and cheek as she spoke, “Your father is determined to see you marry Elaine. I can’t stand you being in here any longer than you have to...”<br/><br/>“He can’t keep me in here forever--!”<br/><br/>“Please!” she said firmly, clutching her eyes shut as the words were like ash in her mouth too. “This whole thing frightens me—I fear that you will make an enemy of your whole family if you refuse Elaine, not just your father. I’m frightened that when you go off to fight this terrible war you will be at more risk if you are not married to Elaine...” she stopped and swallowed, “Moreover your aunt is a very powerful woman. You’ve mustn’t make her an enemy.”<br/><br/>Arthur swallowed his anger and tried to speak calmly like she was. It was very hard. “We’ve been through this,” he muttered quietly. “It would solve nothing in the long-run. It is only valid until the end of the war <em>and then what</em>? I’d be stuck with a wife I do not love and can’t get rid of.”<br/><br/>“She can give you an heir,” Gwen said with a hint of bitterness, but she masked it very well.<br/><br/>“<em>Any</em> woman could give me an heir,” Arthur retorted. He gritted his teeth and shook his head, “But Elaine won’t—believe me.”<br/><br/>Gwen shook her head. “You say that now but you will.”<br/><br/>“I won’t,” he said honestly, rather surprised by his feelings of certainty when he said it. “I won’t be able to because... because the whole time I’d just be thinking of you. That would stop me. It’s another one of the things you’ve changed about me. Before you I’d have done it easily but now... I don’t want any woman if she isn’t you.”<br/><br/>“You’ll do it because you <em>have</em> to.”<br/><br/>“I don’t and I won’t,” Arthur retorted, and there ended the subject. He had decided a long time ago that refusing to consummate a marriage to Elaine was the only real control he had on the situation. “You have always wanted me to serve Camelot in the best way possible—I can only do that,” he pulled her closer towards him with his hands, “if I have someone who keeps me honest.”<br/><br/>Gwen made a small smile and looked down. She knew he meant her, it was obvious. But she still felt the need to be realistic. “A prince needs a noblewoman for a consort, not a maidservant.”<br/><br/>“Guinevere, <em>we’ve been through this</em>—”<br/><br/>She tightened her grasp on his hands and smiled affectionately. “I know. But that doesn’t change the way people look at me. The people of court and your father will never take me seriously.”<br/><br/>“To hell with them,” Arthur grunted, moving away from Gwen and throwing his hands in the air. He scratched the back of his head vigorously and stood in silence for a while. Gwen felt her assuring smile fade. He turned around, “It is not fair to ask this of me.”<br/><br/>“I never ask anything of you,” Gwen replied firmly but quietly. “But you and I both know that we can’t postpone fate forever. If it’s not Elaine, it’ll be another princess. Your father wants you to marry, and he won’t let it go.”<br/><br/>“The war will distract him long enough...” Arthur muttered under his breath. He scratched the side of his nose then rubbed his eyes. “I’m hoping if I resist long enough he’ll have to send me away to fight before he can force me into this ridiculous match...” He stepped forward again, “You need to understand that I see this as a test. I have to fight for us, not give in and obey my father. Fighting is all I know, so that’s what I’ll do.”<br/><br/>He took Gwen hands again. She fought to keep her composure but it was starting to fail. She sniffed and looked down helplessly, tightening her own hold on his hands. It wasn’t long before they fell into an embrace, comforting each other in the turmoil over their love.<br/><br/>“I love you,” she whispered.<br/><br/>They broke away from their embrace and looked at each other, finally able to smile again. Then Gwen freed one of the hands that Arthur was still holding and reached into her pocket. He watched and smiled when she pulled out the small silver fairy statue.<br/><br/>“Carrying it around now, are you?” Arthur joked.<br/><br/>Gwen just smiled and opened his palm to place it in his hand. She then closed it over the silver fairy by clutching it in her two hands. She looked up into his eyes, her smile widening, “I want you to have it.”<br/><br/>Arthur’s eyes widened. He looked at the statue made of precious metal, still warm from her pocket. It was like there was a rope tied from his heart to the fairy. He shook his head, “I couldn’t possibly take this. I was there when Cador gave to you; he got me to give it to you...”<br/><br/>“And now I’ve giving back to you,” she replied simply. “I used to treasure this fairy more than anything. It was my most prized possession. It reminded me of my mother, my father, of Cador’s kindness... but ever since we became lovers I was able to forget all those past things and look forward. I don’t need it anymore.”<br/><br/>The prince held his hand out, “I still can’t take it. It is still important to you deep down.”<br/><br/>“Yes,” Gwen admitted with a shake of her head. She reached her cheek to touch his face again as she had before. “But I don’t need it... I want you to have it so you have something of mine that is important to me, so that you remember that you are more important to me than anything.”<br/><br/>Arthur smiled, reaching up to hold her hand still on his cheek. “I don’t need reminding of that.”<br/><br/>“Then take it anyway,” she told him, “for luck.”<br/><br/>Arthur held the silver fairy tight in his hand before he carefully placed it in his own pocket. He thought now that he had it he would never let it go and would always keep it with him. “I will take it,” he told her softly, “But one day I will give it back to you. When all of this is sorted, when this is all over, when we can be together... I will give it back.”<br/><br/>“When that day comes,” Gwen said melodiously, almost seductively, “neither of us will need it anymore.”<br/><br/>And she leant forward and kissed him. It was the kiss they had both been waiting for from the moment she had walked through the cell down. They threw their arms around each other again and held each other fast as their mouths remained locked and passionate against each other. More than ever it fuelled Arthur’s desire to resist the marriage with Elaine at all cost, and it enabled Guinevere to forget she ever asked him to in the first place. The truth was that she knew he would never agree to it, but she felt she had to ask one more time. And she probably would have hated it even more if he had agreed to her favour.<br/><br/>They barely heard Merlin when he rushed to the bars and called in: “Arthur, Gwen! The guard will be coming soon, we have to go!”<br/><br/>Gwen had to tear herself away from him, her arms, body and lips desperate to stay close to him. She didn’t care if she was caught by the guard—it would be worth it. But Arthur eventually let her god, not wanting to put her at risk.<br/><br/>“Go,” he told her, “I’ll be fine.”<br/><br/>Gwen nodded slowly as she gradually backed out of the door as Merlin opened and closed it. “Eat your food,” she whispered with a faint smile, which Arthur reciprocated, “Yes <em>darling</em>.”<br/><br/>She kept her eyes on him as long as possible before she and Merlin made their way back up the dimly-lit corridor. Their footsteps disappeared from ear-shot and they were gone.<br/><br/>Arthur felt more alone than he had been before Gwen came to see him. Her coming to see him reminded him of what he was missing being locked away from her. He slowly made his way over to the table and picked up the food he would have quite happily refused again. But Gwen had told him to eat it, so he would. As he slumped down to the floor again with it, he touched his fingers to his lips again and sighed, “I love you.”</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The evening seemed to wear on very slow for Gwen after seeing Arthur. She sat with Morgana in her chambers and they spoke about how the ‘reunion’ went. It had been more emotional that Gwen thought it would be. She thought she would merely be upset by Arthur’s imprisonment, but the sight of him already weakened from loss of appetite and stubbornness in his love for her after just one day had hit a nerve. She felt a little angry at Arthur as his weakened state was self-inflicted; he wasn’t eating properly, but she understood why he was behaving the way he was, and that just intensified her love for him.<br/><br/>After another hour had past when there was a knock at the door. Morgana rushed to the door, sensing the familiar presence. It was Merlin, as she suspected. He stepped into the room and nodded to Gwen, “Are you okay?”<br/><br/>Gwen nodded modestly, “I’m fine, really.”<br/><br/>Merlin smiled, and stepped forward to address her. “I thought you’d like to know that I’ve just come from seeing Arthur again, to collect his bowl and everything. He said he was glad to see you and to thank you for your ‘present’.”<br/><br/>A warm smile crossed Gwen’s face. “I hope he listened to me about the food,” she said thoughtfully.<br/><br/>Merlin smiled, “I think you’re the only person he does<em> always</em> listen to. He ate the lot and didn’t leave a single bite.”<br/><br/>Gwen’s heart fluttered as she sighed with relief. “I’m so glad. I was worried he’d make himself ill...”<br/><br/>He nodded, too guilty to admit that Arthur was not actually the first thing on his mind at the moment. Especially when he was probably all Gwen could think about. He turned to Morgana. “Gaius needs to talk to us both about this sleeping draught and was wondering if you could come now...?”<br/><br/>Morgana wasn’t keen on leaving Gwen but the young maid shook her head and smiled, “This is important—you go and I’ll finish my work. It’ll be done by the time you get back.”<br/><br/>Reluctantly Morgana agreed and walked with Merlin towards Gaius’s chambers. They barely spoke on the way or even dared to look at each other. They were cautious of the courtiers around them. It was because of Arthur and Gwen they were in the spotlight but it still unnerved them. Merlin kept hearing Gaius’s voice at the back of his head saying <em>‘Arthur and Gwen were caught—you can’t keep something like this secret.’</em> He wasn’t sure what frightened him more; people finding out that they practised magic or suspecting they were lovers. Ironically it was probably the latter, more so because they were both innocent of it.<br/><br/>Morgana dared not think about Merlin at all. She was embarrassed about him detecting even an innocent thought about her feelings for him. The easiest thing would be to put sometimes distance between them but she knew she would never find the strength to do that. It was part of their connection and she clung to it as if it was her only grip on reality. She didn’t want to be lonely. She sometimes thought she’d rather die than go back to the days when she was alone in her magic.<br/><br/>As they were finally in sight of Gaius’s chambers Morgana spoke up. “What exactly will this potion do?”<br/><br/>“I think that’s why Gaius wants to talk to both of us about it,” Merlin replied.<br/><br/>The pair of them walked in to find Gaius sitting at his work bench, deep in thought. They were not to know what was plaguing him. When he saw them he was very tempted to tell them both the truth but he knew it would cause more damage that good. If Morgana found out the truth she would immediately confront Uther with it and Merlin would warn Gwen.<br/><br/>He took note of them, pushing his thoughts to the back of his mind. “Ah, Morgana, I’m glad you got here so quickly...”<br/><br/>She shook her head. “It’s fine. Merlin said that you are going to give us both the strong sleeping draught tonight...”<br/><br/>Gaius swallowed and looked down. “Yes...”<br/><br/>“Are you alright?”<br/><br/>He looked up again, “I’m fine.”<br/><br/>Merlin was weary of Gaius’s behaviour but chose not to dwell on it. He picked up the two bottles from the bench. “These are the ones with the draught in it, are they?”<br/><br/>“Oh, yes,” Gaius said coming out of his daze. He knew he had to get a grip or Merlin and Morgana would suspect something was wrong, putting them all at risk. He took one of the bottles from Merlin’s hands. “This draught should send both of you into an instant deep sleep as soon as you take it.”<br/><br/>Morgana’s eye brow rose. “So it’s not so much a remedy rather a drug?”<br/><br/>“It’s the only thing powerful enough to keep you both asleep the whole night,” Gaius explained, showing her the bottle of yellow liquid. “If your dreams amount to nothing...” he turned to Merlin, “then you should both sleep through the night without having a dream.”<br/><br/>Morgana scoffed, “I’ve heard that before.”<br/><br/>“And if it isn’t just an ordinary seer dream or memory?” Merlin asked. “What if it is the ‘collective scream’ you told us about?”<br/><br/>There was a brief moment of silence as Gaius inclined his head. “Then you will have the dream.”<br/><br/>“And we won’t be able to wake up?” Morgana finished. Her fears were being realised, she would be trapped in a nightmare for the whole night with no hope of awakening. She folded her arms defiantly, “Wonderful. It’s bad enough waking up in the middle of the night screaming...”<br/><br/>Merlin offered her a reassuring smile. “You have overcome all draughts before and my magic to see your visions and chances are this drug will barely affect you too. It’s me you should be worried about.”<br/><br/>Morgana couldn’t help smiling.<br/><br/>The young warlock turned back to his mentor. “Are you sure it’s safe for me to take given that I’m not used to sleeping draughts?”<br/><br/>Gaius nodded, “It’s perfectly safe. In fact I’d say that you will probably sleep through the night easier for it. You’ll be out like a lamp.” The old man turned back to Morgana, still with her arms folded. He approached her carefully. “I hope it will have the same effect for you too, I know what you’re like with sleeping draughts...”<br/><br/>She shrugged, “Even if it doesn’t it won’t make any difference to me. I’ll still probably have a nightmare.”<br/><br/>“If you don’t want to take the draught you don’t have to,” the old man said looking between his two young friends. In many ways he hoped that they would hesitate enough for him to justify not giving it to them. “You must be absolutely sure before you take this.”<br/><br/>Merlin chuckled, “You make it sound as if we’re taking poison!”<br/><br/>Gaius shot Merlin a serious look. “If this is the collective scream both of you will see the whole of the dream—and there is no escaping it. You might uncover things it is best not to know,” he looked back at Morgana. “You both need to be certain. If you have the slightest doubt or anxiety about this, it’s best not to take it.”<br/><br/>There was a long moment of contemplation as Morgana stared at the bottle. In the end she took it from his hand and nodded. “I have already decided that I am going to take this and I will,” she then glanced at Merlin. “If this dream we are having is important it is best we see the whole thing, regardless of how terrible the message is.”<br/><br/>“She’s right,” Merlin agreed, looking down at his own bottle. “We can’t help or prevent anything if we don’t know.”<br/><br/>Gaius nodded slowly. He should have known that Morgana’s stubbornness and Merlin’s will would convince them that taking the potion was the best thing to do. Once again he had to fight the urge to tell them what was going to happen later that tonight. But he still knew he couldn’t. It was the worst thing he could do. It was best to put them both out of harm’s way, like Uther had done with Arthur.<br/><br/>Morgana took the top off the bottle to sniff the contents. It smelt very unpleasant. “Don’t drink it now,” Gaius said firmly. “You must be in bed when you take it. Remember that.”<br/><br/>“I’m just sniffing,” she said, rubbing her wrinkled nose. “It doesn’t look or smell very nice.”<br/><br/>“We aren’t drinking it for pleasure,” Merlin chuckled.<br/><br/>“It may not look pleasant but it does the trick,” Gaius told them, his voice still low and serious. He briefly contemplated what their reactions would be in the morning and forced that unpleasant thought out of his mind. “I once gave it to Arthur,” the old man admitted, as if hoping the pair of them would guess, “and he went out within twenty seconds... so make sure both of you are in bed when you take this.”<br/><br/>They both inadvertently blushed at the way Gaius had phrased his last sentence, something that did not escape Gaius’s notice. He felt another tinge of dread. Merlin quickly tried to regain his composure by offering another one of his cheeky, youthful smiles. “Well you can remind me before I go to bed, can’t you,” he said. There was another painful silence as it became clear to that Gaius had warned all he could tonight. Merlin rubbed his hands together and smiled. “It seems we’ve got all we can out this,” he said, upbeat. He walked towards Morgana, gently tapping her forearm, “I’ll walk to back to your chambers.”<br/><br/>Morgana smiled, clutching the bottle between her hands. “Thank you, Merlin.”<br/><br/>Gaius felt unnerved as he watched the exchange. Every time he saw them together he remembered what the dragon had warned about Merlin getting too close to Morgana. He looked out for signs that they were getting closer, which they were. Then he looked out for signs that they were <em>closer than they should be</em>, which they always had been.<br/><br/>“I’ll see you later,” Merlin said, turning as he and Morgana made their way towards the door.<br/><br/>“Come straight back,” he ordered. “I want you both to be settled around the same time tonight.” Merlin nodded. Gaius called out again, “And Morgana?”<br/><br/>She turned, “Yes Gaius?”<br/><br/>He swallowed, trying to hide his inner guilt while secretly wishing they would figure out. He knew he was too old to be frightened by the reaction of two ‘youngsters’ but he could not shake away the shame he felt. He forced a smile, “Ask Gwen to stay with you until I come to check on you. I’ll be there after Merlin is asleep. You should be too when I get there.”<br/><br/>She nodded, “Of course. Goodnight.”<br/><br/>The door closed and they were gone. Once they were clear of Gaius’s chambers they began to reflect on his odd behaviour. Merlin wasn’t the only one who had noticed he seemed bothered about something.<br/><br/>“Gaius seems to know what he’s talking about.”<br/><br/>Merlin looked at Morgana. “I guess so...” he then reflected a moment before he went on. “Did you think that he’s worried about something?”<br/><br/>Morgana smiled, “Gaius <em>always</em> looks worried about something.”<br/><br/>He grinned, “I think he always gets nervous around us.”<br/><br/>“I get the impression that he doesn’t like us spending so much time together,” she added, her tone less optimistic. She noticed Merlin’s cheeks and ears go red. “Is my impression correct?”<br/><br/>Merlin glanced at her, “He’s just worried about Uther I think.”<br/><br/>“Or maybe he’s worried I’ll lead you astray?” she suggested, a smile sneaking across her face again. He went even redder. “In my experience you don’t follow anyone’s lead, do you Merlin?”<br/><br/>He chuckled nervously. “I have to follow Arthur quite a lot, my lady...”<br/><br/>“But you always find your own way,” Morgana pointed out. “I think one day you might even be the one telling Arthur which way he should go.”<br/><br/>“I wish that day would come soon,” he muttered. “I often this if we did things my way we’d get things done quicker...”<br/><br/>They both chuckled and continued walking in silence. The question of the dream began to rear its ugly head again. Morgana didn’t know whether it was the fact she was taking this potion tonight of something else but she had a feeling something was going to wrong.<br/><br/>“Merlin,” she said, breaking the hush, “do you ever... get that feeling where you know something bad is going to happen?”<br/><br/>“All the time,” he chuckled. “Remember I have Arthur as my master; if I didn’t feel something bad was going to happen constantly he’d probably be dead.”<br/><br/>“No I mean,” she stopped in her tracks causing him to halt too. “I mean <em>right now</em>... do you have the feeling something bad is going to happen? Like, a sickly feeling in the pit of your stomach that you know means trouble?”<br/><br/>Merlin placed his hand on his stomach. “I suppose, but I think I’m just nervous about taking this potion, about what I’ll see in the dream...”<br/><br/>“There’s a chance you won’t see anything,” Morgana said.<br/><br/>“We both know I will,” he told her firmly. “Gaius is just giving us this in the hope we might be wrong... but it is the collective echo or scream or whatever it’s called. We need to find out what it’s telling us.”<br/><br/>Morgana nodded and they walked on. They fell silent as the knights on patrol walked past them. The night bell bonged in the distance as all the palace guards went on patrol with the city guard while the younger knights began their patrol of the castle. Patrolling the wing of the castle Morgana resided were Percival, Lamorak and Kay. Everyone knew that Kay wanted to be in her section of the palace as it was where Lady Bedivere and her two sons young Bedivere and Lucas also lived. If they were in any danger he wanted to be first on the scene. It had become clear that Kay was in love with Lady Bedivere and everyone expected they would marry after Christmas when her husband’s mourning days were over. Both the lady and Kay had been close to Bedivere and loved him dearly. Kay had promised to look after his two boys should anything happen to him, and now he would do that by making them his stepsons.<br/><br/>“Who’d have thought Arthur’s plan would work?” Merlin remarked once they reached the stairs up to Morgana’s chambers. “Who’d have thought Uther would even consider his idea?”<br/><br/>“I think Gwen must have inspired him,” Morgana pointed out as she ascended the stairs. He did not follow; he promised Gaius he would return home after seeing her back. She turned and smiled, “I really do hope that Ector agrees to let Kay marry Lady Bedivere.”<br/><br/>“Me too,” Merlin agreed, “Else we’re likely to see Kay and – if he ever gets out of the dungeons – Arthur, stumbling out of the tavern, drunk and singing tragic love songs...” She laughed at the mental image. He sighed, “My love life is pretty tragic too so I might join them.”<br/><br/>Morgana bit her lip as she reached the top of the stairs before she swung around, grinning. “It’s not <em>so</em> tragic... you’ve got me, remember?”<br/><br/>Merlin’s eyes widened and his cheeks reddened again as he shot a look in Morgana’s direction. But she was gone, fleeing into her room without even saying goodbye. He was tempted to follow her but decided he’d rather not. Turning away from the foot of the stairs he decided to take the shortcut across the courtyard home. He didn’t want Gaius to think he was dawdling.<br/><br/>From her window Morgana watched as Merlin made his way home. She wished she hadn’t said what she did and then rushed away. She could have treated it as if it were a joke, a friendly gesture that when loved failed they were always going to be a magical duo. But when the words came out it didn’t feel like a joke.<br/><br/>She was startled when Gwen placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” the young maid said, backing away in surprise herself. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”<br/><br/>Morgana gasped a sigh of relief and smiled. “No, not at all... I’m just a little jumpy,” and she looked down at the potion she still clutched in her hands. “Gaius said that I should take this immediately so I think I shall go to bed now.”<br/><br/>Gwen nodded her head but said nothing. Instead she helped her lady get ready for bed without a word. It was strange but Morgana felt wrong in letting Gwen help her and serve her. The entire thing felt wrong somehow and she wasn’t sure why. Gwen had become her principle handmaiden since she was twelve and Morgana was fifteen, and even before that she had been one of the many little servant girls that served in her wing of the castle. Gwen had always been of noble character even as a little girl. Morgana was the first to admit she had been a rotten and spoiled, nasty and spiteful child who, next to this dignified little maid quite a bit younger than her, might have looked a fright. Thankfully Morgana had grown up but Gwen had always been more than just a servant.<br/><br/>“Would you like me to stay?” Gwen asked once Morgana was under the covers.<br/><br/>“Gaius is coming to check on me once I’m asleep,” she explained with a slightly smile. “He asked if you would wait until he comes.”<br/><br/>Gwen smiled, “Of course.”<br/><br/>Morgana picked up the sleeping draught and took the lid off the top. She glanced up at Gwen who gave her an amused look, noting the unpleasant look and smell of the liquid. The lady felt like a child being forced to take medicine. She knew it was supposed to knock her out instantly so she glanced up and Gwen, “Good night then.”<br/><br/>“Good night, milady” she replied with a bright but tired smile. “I’ll just be next door, don’t worry.”<br/><br/>The young maid walked towards her area next door when Morgana suddenly felt that feeling of dread again that made her call out. “Gwen!” she said frantically, causing her friend to spin around with a look of dread. Morgana then calmed herself, knowing it was unfair to worry Gwen like that. “I’m sorry I just wanted... to say ‘goodbye’.”<br/><br/>Gwen tilted her head. “I’m only going next door...”<br/><br/>“Yes but I don’t say it very often and I just wanted to say it,” Morgana said, thinking again of how she had not said goodbye to Merlin. It was silly; she would see him in the morning but she still wished she had said good night or good bye.<br/><br/>Gwen just smiled and nodded. “Good bye, then.”<br/><br/>She went into the next room, closing the door quietly behind her and leaving Morgana alone.<br/><br/>Morgana looked down at the bottle in her hands and sighed. Closing her eyes and trying to keep the liquid from settling on her tongue she swallowed the whole lot in three quick gulps. The taste had been as horrible as she had expected and left her with an unpleasant aftertaste. But she didn’t have too long to think about it. She immediately began to feel sleepy. She settled her head against her pillow and felt her eyelids become heavy and the canopy above her head become faded.<br/><br/>She was asleep in less than twenty seconds, just as Gaius had promised.<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Arthur was losing track of the hours locked up in the small dungeon.<br/><br/>He determined the time by the times the guard patrolled by his cell. Years of being head of the army of Camelot meant he had the times memorised. They went by this leg of the dungeons every half hour, which told him it was either around twenty past or ten to the hour. Then at nine the guards went on patrol in the lower town and the knights went on patrol duty around the castle. It was Sir Pellas and Sir Leon on duty in the dungeons tonight. They had been ordered by the king not to speak to Arthur, which didn’t bother him as he had no desire to speak to them.<br/><br/>It seemed so long since that council meeting when he had suggested putting the knights on duty in the castle to enable the common guard to patrol the city more thoroughly. He was glad it was a success especially since he had dreamed the whole thing up just a week or so before he proposed it to his father and the councillors.<br/><br/>He had come up with the idea late on midsummer night while shamelessly enjoying the caress of Gwen’s hand through his hair while she told him of yet another atrocity in the city caused by a gang of thieves. He had no doubt they were the same robbers that had attacked Gwen that night – <em>ages</em> ago now.<br/><br/>“What if,” he had said, barely coherent through the euphoria of their activities, “the guards in the castle were freed up to patrol the lower quarters of the city?”<br/><br/>Gwen had hummed a familiar murmur of approval before she spoke. “Your father would never give up the royal guard for the common folk,” she whispered bluntly but truthfully. “He’d be living in a constant state of paranoia, well, <em>more</em> than he already does, I mean. Worry about the security of the citadel.”<br/><br/>Arthur had smirked. “What if... I was to put the knights on patrol at night?”<br/><br/>He remembered Gwen’s hand still against his scalp. “The knights would never agree, would they?”<br/><br/>“They patrol during the day.”<br/><br/>“I think most would rather sleep at night.”<br/><br/>“If <em>I</em> can go on patrol with the city guard,” Arthur had declared in a put-on superior voice, “Then the knights of Camelot can walk the length of the castle. God’s sake, I wouldn’t be asking for much! They’d have to do less work than I do.”<br/><br/>“You only patrol with the city guards once a week.”<br/><br/>“It’s one day more than the knights do.”<br/><br/>It was hard to get comfortable on the floor. Arthur lay down on the thin mattress of straw as he recalled that night. It was starting to get chilly in the evenings and he felt cold. The only thing that kept his mind off it was thinking about Gwen. It kept his mind off the reason he was in the dungeons too. Just thinking of her face warmed him, and he was thankful that he thought of her constantly. It always brought up wonderfully tense feelings that he could no longer imagine living without.<br/><br/>The only thing that was better than the feeling he got when he thought of her was actually seeing her. For some reason just thinking Guinevere never amounted much to seeing the real thing in front of them. He found he could never quite capture every detail; every smile she made, every tilt of the head, every curl in her hair. The only was he could experience them was to see them, and then to feel them which was the best feeling of them all. He tried to imagine how his fingers felt when he ran them through her hair, crackling like fire and scented of wild flowers. The thought of her lips against his make him feel blissfully content despite memories and thoughts being a small substitute for the real thing...<br/><br/>He clutched the silver fairy as these thoughts whirled through his head. As he felt it he wanted to say her name to himself, under his breath so that the patrolling knights did not catch it on their way around. Guinevere. Guinevere, who would have thought thirteen years ago when Cador told Arthur to hand her that box with the silver fairy inside that one day she would give it back to him as a token of her love. Certainly not them.<br/><br/>As he finally drifted off to sleep he managed to smile. Thinking of Guinevere reminded him that sleeping on the floor of a cell in his father’s dungeons was worth it. There were moments when Arthur felt so hyped up and mad with joy over his emotions that he couldn’t think of anything he would not do for her. It was only Gwen’s down to earth approach to life that reminded Arthur that he was a sensible and rational human being. It was an odd thing; she could make him forget who he was yet at the same time keep him true to the way he was. It made him dread to think what he would be without her—he didn’t want to ever find out.</p><p>-</p><p>The walk between his chambers and Morgana’s chambers seemed like the longest trek of Gaius’s life. As soon as Merlin came through the door he had made sure he was tucked up in bed before he took the potion. He then watched as the remedy swiftly sent Merlin to sleep. There would be no rousing him until tomorrow morning. With a heavy heart Gaius closed the door behind him and made his way straight towards Morgana’s chambers. He was in a rush to meet with the arrangements Uther had made for him.<br/><br/>He had to make this swift and brief.<br/><br/>He stopped outside the door of Morgana’s chambers, hesitating for a moment before he gently knocked at the door. He waited just a few seconds before the door opened and he was greeted by Gwen’s tired but affectionate smile. It cut him even more.<br/><br/>“Is Morgana asleep?” the old man asked.<br/><br/>“Yes,” Gwen said with a nod. “She took the potion you gave her; went out like a light. Is everything alright?” Gaius wavered and that filled Gwen with dread. “Are she and Merlin okay? They both said they’ve been having nightmares and—”<br/><br/>Gaius raised his hands to silence her. He glanced over Gwen’s shoulder to look at the motionless sleeping lady. He was pleased that the draught had the same effect on her as it did on Merlin. He wasn’t used to it but after years of taking them some people tend to get immune. Evidently this was not yet the case with Morgana. “This has nothing to do with Merlin and Morgana. They will be fine,” Gaius assured her before he swallowed and nodded seriously. “I need to talk to.”<br/><br/>She folded her arms, thinking nothing of it, “About what?”<br/><br/>He indicated towards the dimly lit stairs. “Let’s go and speak elsewhere,” he said hesitantly. “Morgana will be fine.”<br/><br/>Gwen did not question him and closed the chamber door to follow him. After a brief walk through the castle halls Gaius led her into a larger, well-lit room that shared linking door with the council rooms. The night sky was completely pitch-black. The windows looked as if the outside had been draped with a navy cloth. There was no light, not even from the moon as it had been eclipsed by the storm clouds that still circled around Camelot. The old man couldn’t help feeling that the setting was apt for the task he was undertaking.<br/><br/>Gwen didn’t know what to think. She looked around the room, curious to know what Gaius wanted to say here that couldn’t be said at the door of Morgana’s chambers. It filled her with dread.<br/><br/>“I shall make this brief as the hour is late,” Gaius said slowly, closing the door behind them. The look on his face immediately told Gwen that something was terribly wrong. He pointed to a chair, “I think it best if you sit down.”<br/><br/>She ignored the chair, too worried to notice where he was pointing and slumped down onto a windowsill. While her eyes were locked on him he could barely look into her eyes; they were so dark and naive of what was to follow. “Is there something wrong Gaius?” she finally asked.<br/><br/>Gaius rubbed his hands anxiously. Uther had briefed him on what he should say; that he should just tell her straight and allow the guards to do the rest. But he had only just begun and could barely get a sentence out. “God, this is hard!” he remarked helplessly. “I’m really too old for this...”<br/><br/>“Maybe you should sit down too?” Gwen suggested.<br/><br/>“I think it best I don’t,” Gaius replied. He knew he had to tell her. The delay was tormenting them both, and it was cruel to keep her in suspense. He sighed, “Oh dear, Gwen! I wish there was an easier way for me to tell you this...”<br/><br/>“If you have something on your chest it is best to just say it,” she told him, quoting the ancient assumption that spitting out your problems would make it easier on people’s ears.<br/><br/>“This is not something that I can just say,” Gaius said, and looked at her sympathetically. It cut right through her. He hesitated again for a moment as he tried to find the right words. In the end he said the following: “Despite appearances I am not without understanding of your situation. I remember what it is like to be young. I remember what it is like to be in love...”<br/><br/>Gwen smiled at this. It was sometimes hard to imagine Gaius ever being young since he had always been old in her eyes. He was someone she looked up to, which made it even harder to imagine him as a youth. She sometimes forgot that in being so much older he had therefore lived so much more. It especially embarrassed her given the nature of her relationship with Arthur.<br/><br/>Gaius went on, stating the obvious, “You love Arthur, don’t you?”<br/><br/>“Yes,” Gwen said, her smile instinctively widening. She could have gone to great lengths to explain how and why she loved him but that would have embarrassed Gaius more. So, she simply said, “I know he’s not the easiest man to love... but I love him. Despite everything...”<br/><br/>Gaius nodded his head. “Many people would try to change him...”<br/><br/>“He doesn’t need to be changed,” Gwen said enthusiastically, drifting into thoughts of her wonderful, handsome and terribly faulted sweetheart. “He realises how he can be sometimes and strives to be better, and in doing so brings out the man he was always was inside. He’s still a bit haughty but I don’t mind. He wouldn’t be the man I love if he didn’t have those faults...”<br/><br/>Her words caused a grasping pain in Gaius’s chest. He lowered his head, “As I say... you clearly love him <em>very much</em>.”<br/><br/>Gwen brushed her cheeks that were glowing from the smile plastered across her face. “Yes, I do.”<br/><br/>“And he loves you,” Gaius stated, that too being obvious. It was shockingly obvious, more obvious than Arthur had ever been about anything. It was as Uther said, like madness...<br/><br/>But then Gaius remembered what Arthur had said to him in a weak and slightly drunken state that evening on May Day, ages ago now. He had said that up until that point life had been like a dream and he had only awoken upon realising that he was in love with <em>Guinevere</em>. If Merlin been conscious Arthur probably would have confided it to him. But it was Gaius that learnt this distressing secret in that moment when the prince had felt vulnerable.<br/><br/>It was not madness, it was <em>clarity</em>. It was the first time Arthur had ever felt certain about anything in his life. And now that clarity was to be fogged once again...<br/><br/>“He loves you <em>very much</em>,” Gaius continued after a brief moment of reflection. “He has displayed his love to you, to the court and even to the king.”<br/><br/>Gwen’s smile faded slightly. It was the nagging feeling of dread that killed her beam. “Yes he has,” she then paused before saying, “Just say what it is you want, Gaius.”<br/><br/>The old man swallowed. “Believe me when I say the king is <em>not</em> unsympathetic to your situation. You and Arthur... your love for each other is a wonderful thing that the two of you, (despite what is said by jealous courtiers), conduct in an admirable and honest manner. If only it were under different circumstances, a different time...”<br/><br/>Gwen looked down, “You speak of the conflict in Rheged?”<br/><br/>Gaius nodded, “I’m sure you know of the troubles being experienced across Albion.”<br/><br/>“I do.”<br/><br/>“And, like Arthur, you were born here in Camelot,” the old man added, trying to cushion the words that were to follow as much as possible. “You know that Dumnonia is a moderately sized kingdom but difficult to keep secure...”<br/><br/>Gwen knew that Dumnonia was bordered by two sea fronts and two lands fronts; to the north and south were the Cymric and Lesser Alba crossings. Then to the east lay the minor kingdoms of several wayward barons, and to the west was Cornwall. Gwen also knew that Cador, someone her father had known well during her childhood, was on bad terms with Uther and, rather than being an enemy, simply shut him out and ignored Camelot’s actions. When Gorlois was still alive there had been hope that one day the lands of Dumnonia and Cornwall would become one kingdom again as it had been a century ago, but there was no chance of that now.<br/><br/>“I understand that Camelot is at risk but no more I think than other moderately sized kingdoms,” Gwen replied intelligently, “Unlike poor Elmet, which is surrounded by land.”<br/><br/>“I’m surprised you know about the problems in Elmet.”<br/><br/>“Arthur told me.”<br/><br/>Gaius tilted his head, “Arthur tells you about the issues in Albion?”<br/><br/>“I listen to anything he has to say,” Gwen replied with a faint smile. “I like listening to him no matter how dull it is. Truth is he finds council meetings very boring, and he often talks with me on ways things could be improved...” she then stopped, realising she was taking Gaius away from his point. “I’m sorry you were talking about the kingdom...”<br/><br/>Gaius couldn’t help feeling such overwhelming admiration for Gwen in that moment. In many ways she spoke like a queen-in-waiting, conversing intelligently about issues and ideas that Arthur had told her about. It made what followed all the harder to say.<br/><br/>“Yes,” he said, getting back on track. “You know about these things. Arthur has told you. Therefore you will understand why Uther feels it crucial to make a strong alliance with the more powerful king in the north.”<br/><br/>“But he already has an alliance, hasn’t he?” Gwen pointed out, a factor she had never been able to understand. “With King Lot, I mean. He is married to Arthur’s aunt Queen Anna—surely <em>that</em> is a suitable alliance?”<br/><br/>Gaius sighed, “Uther fears what may happen if Anna were to die; Lot is a great king but a wayward ally.”<br/><br/>“But the likelihood of Lot outliving Anna is very slim,” Gwen pointed out. “Anna is twelve years younger than her husband and he is always at battle.”<br/><br/>“You are well informed,” the old man said, chuckling nervously, “is there anything Arthur hasn’t told you?”<br/><br/>Gwen smiled. “I just listen to whatever is on his mind, and this issue has dominated a lot of our conversations... for <em>obvious</em> reasons.”<br/><br/>That drove the stake in deeper again. “What you say about Anna is true,” he agreed. “I’m sure Uther has considered that... but he fears for the <em>next</em> generation too, for Arthur’s reign parallel to Gawain’s.”<br/><br/>“Arthur loves Gawain,” she replied. “And Gawain loves Arthur; they would never do anything to hurt one another’s interests. They would never fight against each other in battle.”<br/><br/>“Blood brothers have met, fought and killed each other for less than their kingdoms in battle,” Gaius told her, remembering a few cases in his mind. “Ambition can drive a man and make him forget his even siblings let alone his cousins.”<br/><br/>“Then why does Uther believe marrying Arthur to Elaine will maintain the Orcadian alliance into the next generation?” Gwen questioned, still managing to smile despite the dread that was still hanging over her.<br/><br/>Gaius, at that point, was stumped. Uther had not answered that question or even brought it up. He could not think of the answer to that question by himself either. He actually agreed with Gwen that marrying Arthur to Elaine seemed like a wasted bargaining chip. In the end it really routed to the fact that Elaine was a princess, Arthur’s cousin and a born of a (very) fertile mother. The politics were no different than that of any other match. Uther could probably have picked any princess for Arthur but, no—he had decided upon Elaine.<br/><br/>Gwen sighed, “Gaius you clearly have something you need to tell me and all I am doing is distracting you. I think you should say your piece.”<br/><br/>Gaius swallowed. “The more you talk, the harder saying my piece becomes...”<br/><br/>“Then I shall say no more,” Gwen promised.<br/><br/>And she sat quietly until Gaius had said what he needed to say. “Regardless of all of these smaller issues and personal prejudices it has <em>always</em> been the practise for royal princes to marry princesses of the blood. It is essential to maintain kingdoms and strengthen family bonds, even if it seems to the average person to benefit little.”<br/><br/>He waited for Gwen to speak again but she kept to her word and remained silent. Gwen knew that princes married princesses and had no comment on it. Gaius was forced to continue and watch as it began to dawn on Gwen where this was leading.<br/><br/>“Arthur must marry with a princess or noblewoman of family who can <em>aid</em> the kingdom,” he paused again, hesitated, and then went on. “Even if Arthur doesn’t marry Elaine then it shall be some other princess. I suppose at the back of it all the politics Uther wishes Arthur to marry someone he is at least already fond of even if he does not love her as much as he loves you, even if he can <em>never</em> love her as much as he loves you...”<br/><br/>Gaius stopped again; he could see tears slowly start to well up in Gwen’s eyes. She knew for certain where this was going now although her face remained still and neutral. It didn’t make Gaius’s task easier.<br/><br/>“But,” he went on, swallowing hard, “it seems that Arthur has made it clear that he will not agree to the engagement with Elaine, not as long as you are... here. Do you understand what I am saying?”<br/><br/>Gwen closed her eyes, the tears that had gathered around her lids sweeping down her cheeks as she did. She did not speak but nodded slowly.<br/><br/>“Therefore, with great reluctance, I have been ordered by the king to inform you that henceforth you are no longer a servant here in the palace. You shall be removed from court, away from Arthur,” Gaius finished.<br/><br/>As the old man finished Gwen ignored her stray tears and swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat during her silence. “But he wouldn’t give up on me—he would search for me. He would search and find me, I know he would.”<br/><br/>The old man looked down, unable to look at her for shame. “The king acknowledges that, which is why he has arranged with the aid of Queen Anna for you to be taken from here tonight to a place of secret exile... beyond the kingdom’s borders.”<br/><br/>The young woman turned away and tried to soothe her tears. She couldn’t stop her tears no matter how hard she tried. It had occurred to her that she would be removed from court but—<em>exile</em> beyond the borders of the kingdom? It seemed that Uther and the wily Orcadian queen had thought of everything. In one swoop Uther was taking away everything she had ever known, everything she had. He was taking not only Arthur but Merlin, Morgana, her home, her job... <em>her very identity</em>.<br/><br/>Gaius sat in silence until he could no longer bear Gwen’s tears any longer, yet he was too ashamed to dare trying to comfort her. In the end all he could say was, “I am so sorry, Gwen.”<br/><br/>She took another moment to try and compose her face. Although she still failed to stop her tears she somehow managed to force a smile and turn to face Gaius again. She didn’t want him to think she blamed him and rested her hand on his. “It is fine, Gaius. You were doing as you were instructed. It can’t have been easy. You have always been as a second father to me so I’m glad it was you who told me even though it hurt you to do so.”<br/><br/>Gaius closed his eyes; her attempt of keeping a brave face shamed him even more. All he could think now was whether he could have done something to prevent this. But it was too late now.<br/><br/>“Erm,” Gwen said, her voice cracking slightly from her tears. “When will I have to leave?”<br/><br/>“Very soon,” Gaius replied. “The order was that you leave immediately. The guards will accompany you as far as the kingdom’s borders. Then you will meet the neighbouring kingdom’s guards...”<br/><br/>The doors opened and a band of armed guards strode into the room as they had been cued. It was very possible that they had. They had been secretly kept back from their duties in town to carry out this vital task. It would never have done to ask the knights to take Gwen from Camelot. They were in a position to tell Arthur where she was taken to.<br/><br/>The bang of the door and the clang of their armour made Gwen jump. In her weakened state of sorrow she was hypersensitive to the smallest of sounds. She turned back to Gaius, and forced her ironic smile. “It’s a good job I have my cloak on, isn’t it?”<br/><br/>She got to her feet and stood before the guards. They also seemed ashamed at the task they now had to carry out. She offered them her brave smile. That upset them even more. Gwen had been very popular with the people of Camelot, including the king’s guards. Even before her relationship with Arthur became public knowledge she had been well-known by the people in the lower quarters and well thought of by the palace servants. It wasn’t just Gwen’s tears that moved them but the knowledge that when Arthur realised what had happened his heart would break. It was like the death of a dream.<br/><br/>Gwen turned back to Gaius. “Am I not allowed to say goodbye to anyone?”<br/><br/>Gaius shook his head once, “No one must know you are leaving lest they follow and discover your whereabouts. These guards have been sworn to secrecy.”<br/><br/>“Was it on penalty of death?” Gwen asked, knowing this was probably the wager. She turned to look at the guards again before turning back to Gaius. She walked towards him slowly, her cheeks still wet with stay tears that just kept falling. “When you see them,” she told Gaius, “will you tell Merlin and Morgana that I said goodbye? I’d hate to leave without at least them knowing that.”<br/><br/>Gaius swallowed hard again, close to crying himself but not allowing himself to do so. “I’ll tell them that don’t worry...”<br/><br/>“And,” she said quickly, more tears flowing from her eyes though her face remained as brave as she could maintain it to be. “And tell them to look after Arthur. Tell him that I...” she stopped, bit her tear-salted lips and smiled, “Oh, he knows. Just remind him for me...”<br/><br/>“I shall,” Gaius promised.<br/><br/>Gwen nodded as the guards gathered around her, encircling her and unnerving her. She started to feel panicked. She barely had time to think about and consider what was happening to her. It was just minutes ago that she was told she would be exiled to God-knew-where and now, here she was, about to be ushered out of Camelot and out of her life...<br/><br/>“G-Gaius,” she said quickly, realising there was one more thing that she missed. He stepped forward and the guards stepped aside to enable him to walk up to her. Gwen took his hands; she was shaking with fear and nerves. “Gaius, may I make one small request? It is not much and I hope the king won’t mind...”<br/><br/>“What is it Gwen?”<br/><br/>She looked up into his eyes, “Can I take Fach with me?”<br/><br/>That cut Gaius more than anything so far. Gwen had made it sound like her request was unreasonable but it was something so sweet and minor. “I shall ask the king before you leave.”<br/><br/>Gwen looked down, not at all hopeful that her request would be granted. The guards then began to gather around her again, swallowing her in their huddle. Gaius was forced to let go of her hands as they quickly began to usher her out of the room. The door opened again and one of the guards turned to Gwen, asking her softly (and guiltily) to pull her hood up over her face so no one could see her. There was one last look that passed between the old man and the young maid as she hid her face under her hood. Then the doors were closed and she was gone.<br/><br/>It all happened so quickly that it took a moment for Gaius to gather himself. Once he did he forced himself to swallow the sad tears he felt like crying. He made a sharp sigh and without turning declared, “It is done, sire.”<br/><br/>The door at the rear of the hall opened and Uther stepped in. He had been listening. When Gaius turned he was surprised to see the look on the king’s face. He looked <em>ashamed</em>. Gaius knew he was there all along but he did not think that Uther would have been affected by anything Gwen said. He had been resolved to remove Gwen from Arthur’s life and had succeeded. He should have been pleased.<br/><br/>“Sire, in regards to her pet dog...”<br/><br/>Uther raised his hand to silence him. “She may take the dog with her.”<br/><br/>Gaius nodded, “I am grateful, sire. If you will pardon me for saying so, it will bring her some comfort.”<br/><br/>Uther nodded to a lingering guard who had been waiting for the order from the king. “Fetch the dog from the girl’s house and give it to her when she’s safely outside the city.”<br/><br/>Once the guard was gone Uther walked over to the window where the travelling party was already waiting for Guinevere. He had intended to ship Gwen off with nothing but the clothes she wore on her back. That much he could tell Gwen had gathered. But it was the look in her eyes, the sorrow at losing everything and the clear love she had for that silly little puppy that melted him enough to say to agree.<br/><br/>“It had to be done, Gaius” the king stated.<br/><br/>The old man nodded, unconvinced: “Of course, sire.”<br/><br/>“Arthur,” Uther went on, as if he was trying to convince himself rather than guy, “he would never have been able to think straight while she was here. Now she is gone...”<br/><br/>Gaius said nothing; there was nothing to say.<br/><br/>“I have been promised that the girl will be well provided for,” Uther added quickly. “She will live comfortably. I only hope that she will remain silent.”<br/><br/>Uther watched as the guards appeared down in the courtyard, all gathered around the girl who was barely visible under her cloak. The guard then helped her onto horse back while they all climbed onto horses themselves. As she waited for them she looked up at the castle, eyes scanning the walls until it settled on the brightly lit window Uther stood in. He quickly moved away in case she saw him. Stepping away from the window he didn’t know what to say. The deed was done. What was there to say? Should he say ‘Good’ or ‘Thank you’? Or should he say nothing and just stand in silence until Gaius said something he could answer to? He didn’t know, and he hated not knowing.<br/><br/>He slipped into his chair. “You mustn’t tell anyone where she has gone. I don’t want Arthur to find out where she is.”<br/><br/>Gaius sighed, “Of course not, sire. I will tell no one.”<br/><br/>Uther nodded and called more guards from outside the room via the main door. They filed in and stood in silence awaiting orders.<br/><br/>“Go to the girl’s house. I wish that everything of value be brought here to the palace,” the king commanded. “Place them in storage, lock the door and bring <em>me</em> the key. I wish anything else in the house to remain as it is. If I hear anything about looting, I’ll have your hands chopped off as thieves.”<br/><br/>The guards glanced at each other, trying not to twitch or move a muscle. The robbers among them didn’t want to reveal their true natures and the tattletales didn’t want to reveal themselves to the crooks lest they have <em>their</em> hands chopped off.<br/><br/>“Once that is done make sure that the house is bordered up and that no one can gain access to it,” Uther continued, linking his fingers together. He was curious to know if the maid had had anything valuable in her house. She had to have some money even if it was just her savings. The last thing anyone wanted was for it to be stolen. “That will be all for now.”<br/><br/>The guards marched off carry out the orders as the servant George returned from seeing Guinevere off. He gave Gaius a respectful nod before he bowed to the king, “Sire, the girl has left.”<br/><br/>“Yes, I know” Uther replied in monotone. He moved his hands away from his face and straightened his back. “Give order that Prince Arthur is to be released from the cells tomorrow morning.”<br/><br/>George bowed his head. “Of course, sire.”<br/><br/>The servant withdrew from the room, leaving Uther and Gaius alone once again. They stood in silence and tried to take in what they had just done, what had just happened. Gwen was gone. It still hadn’t quite sunk in for Gaius despite the fact that he had helped to carry it out. Gwen was<em> gone</em>. He didn’t know whether he felt guilty or whether he was glad it was just an exile. God knew that Uther could have done much worse. He dreaded not only Arthur’s reaction but also that of Merlin and Morgana. <em>Guinevere was gone</em>.<br/><br/>“Do you think it was the right decision?” Uther suddenly said.<br/><br/>Gaius looked over at the king. “It was an <em>understandable</em> decision, sire.”<br/><br/>“But was it right?” Uther grunted.<br/><br/>Gaius rarely found the courage to be honest with Uther but he was asking for it now. “Even if it was the wrong decision,” the old man replied, “it’s too late now.”<br/><br/>Uther was annoyed by his honesty. He did not want to believe that he felt guilty for his actions. To think that he was wrong or that Guinevere’s plight had touched him was weakness. The king inside him wanted to believe she was playing for sympathy rather than being sincere. But she <em>was</em> sincere. Everything she said was intelligent and noble, worthy of any royalty. There was even a moment when Uther saw a spark of Igraine in her. That was the hardest thing of all for him to admit.<br/><br/>The truth was clear to Uther now; this girl loved Arthur just as much as he loved her. And it was clear that Arthur was <em>mad</em> about this girl. They loved each other in a way Uther barely understood anymore.<br/><br/>“Will Arthur see why I did this?” he then added.<br/><br/>“He <em>may</em> eventually come to see that you did it for what <em>you</em> believed to be the right reasons, sire.” He was hesitant about his choice of words from fear of offending Uther. Gaius hated it when Uther slipped into one of these moods; he was never sure whether he was fishing for compliments or looking for an honest opinion. Gaius decided to go with the latter as the hour was late and the old man had no desire to lie. “But for now I believe all Arthur will see is that Gwen is gone and you sent her away, regardless of the reasons why.”<br/><br/>Uther slowly brought his hands to his lips as he sat and considered the consequences of his actions tonight. Arthur may now agree to marry Elaine, but at what cost? He would now resent his father for going to such lengths to ensure he took Elaine as a wife. But then again he might still refuse and it would all have been for nothing. All Uther would have gained was a son resented him forever...<br/><br/>“It’s a pity,” Uther finally said after that long train of thought. He looked at Gaius before he went on, “I was listening in when you spoke to her. I think it’s a pity that she was born to such low status...”<br/><br/>“Yes, sire” Gaius replied absentmindedly.<br/><br/>The king went on. “I suppose she was quite... <em>charming</em>, in a way. Under other circumstances she would be most appealing.”<br/><br/>Gaius said nothing and pretended that he could believe Uther when he said that. “As I said, sire, she’s gone now...”<br/><br/>“Yes,” Uther echoed poignantly, “She is gone.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Once the morning finally came it did not take long for the news of the handmaiden’s removal from Camelot to circulate the town. All over the castle it was all people could talk about—how she had be snuck out of the castle undercover of night and taken far away to God-knows-where. Many were horrified even among the nobility. There was now only a tiny section that were pleased the king had finally taken action against the ‘disgusting’ affair. Everyone wondered where she had been exiled; some thought somewhere in Cyrmia while others suggested as far north as Rheged, and a good few wondered if she would be taken across the water away from the islands of Albion.<br/><br/>But Guinevere was gone regardless of how, why and where.<br/><br/>Gaius did not sleep all night nor did he return home. He sat in one of the council rooms and thought of the journey his poor young friend would have to endure. It hurt to think about it but it was all he could think about. The only thing that hurt him more was the knowledge that Merlin would storm through that door any moment once he realised why he had insisted on taking the sleeping draught last night. Gaius wouldn’t blame Merlin if he never forgave him.<br/><br/>At the dawn chorus Gaius’s fears were realised. The door shot open and Merlin stormed in followed swiftly by Morgana. “There you are,” the boy said harshly. They had the look of the devil in their eyes, <em>literally</em>. They were both so angry that the yellow sheen was nearly visible to mortal eyes. “So we were just a pawn in Uther’s plans, were we?” Merlin began his eyes wide with betrayal and fury. “He needed us out of the way so you helped him, am I right?”<br/><br/>“You betrayed us, Gaius” Morgana added harshly. “You knew that we would tell Arthur and Gwen if we found out—and you betrayed us.”<br/><br/>Gaius said nothing, preferring to listen to them rant and rave before he attempted to explain.<br/><br/>But then Merlin said something that hit a nerve. The young man looked away. “Was this ever about helping Morgana and I, or did you just use it suit Uther’s ends?”<br/><br/>“Now that is not fair!” Gaius snapped, breaking his silence. He got to his feet and stood in front of the furious warlock and witch. “The pair of you would have taken this formula whether Gwen was an issue or not. It was meant to help you—”<br/><br/>“How lucky you were that the night we took this draught was also the night Uther decides he is going to Gwen out of Camelot!” Morgana growled back.<br/><br/>“And if I hadn’t had the two of you safely out of the way what would you have done?” Gaius snapped back. “You would have tried to stop it from happening, putting yourselves and Gwen at more risk.”<br/><br/>“The way you talk you’d think you were <em>glad</em> Gwen was gone,” Morgana accused, her voice deep and harsh.<br/><br/>“Better for her to be exiled than executed on false charges,” Gaius snapped back. He very rarely dared to scold Morgana due to her terrifyingly wayward personality but now she was becoming impossible. He ignored her and turned to Merlin hoping to talk more sense into both of them. The boy was still angry although his resolve was softening. Gaius sighed, “Yes, I did it because I didn’t have the courage to speak out against Uther... but I also did it to protect all of you.”<br/><br/>Morgana scoffed. “Protect us by lying to us?”<br/><br/>“I never lied,” Gaius said softly, still addressing Merlin rather than Morgana. The old man could live with the king’s ward hating him but not Merlin. “This was never just to do with Uther’s plans. The collective echo is real and I wanted to help you. I still do...”<br/><br/>Merlin inclined his head towards Gaius but did not look at him. “Oh, I don’t know about the collective thing but I <em>still</em> had a dream last night. I saw the whole thing...”<br/><br/>Gaius’s heart sunk a little bit. He had held out hope that Merlin was just going through a phase tied up with his infatuation with Morgana. But if he had the dream under the influence of the sleeping draught then it could only be the collective echo. The old man swallowed, “And?”<br/><br/>Merlin looked at him, eyes still angry. “I—<em>we</em>—saw Gwen’s exile.”<br/><br/>Gaius was taken aback. “I see...”<br/><br/>“That was what the dream was telling us this whole time,” Merlin snapped. He was angrier with himself than he was with Gaius. “All the things I saw, all those things that Morgana has been telling me these last few months... it has all led to <em>this</em>.”<br/><br/>He slumped into a chair, rubbing his eyes.<br/><br/>“I could have prevented this,” he muttered and looked up at Morgana. “I should have figured out what the dream was telling you months ago.”<br/><br/>Morgana seemed to have been drained of her anger, her emotions replaced with the same forlorn that Merlin was feeling. She slumped to her knees beside Merlin and grabbed one of his hands. “This isn’t your fault. It’s mine. It was <em>my</em> dream and Gwen was my maid. I should have looked out for her more...”<br/><br/>Merlin squeezed her hand, “This <em>is</em> as much my fault. Gwen is my best friend and I’m supposed to be helping you with your dreams but I let myself get... distracted.”<br/><br/>She smiled faintly, “We both have... what with our magic lessons and—”<br/><br/>Merlin cleared his throat uncomfortably, still ashamed that his guardian was watching despite being angry with him. “Nonetheless,” he said firmly, looking away from her in contemplation, “I let Gwen, Arthur and you down when I should have been more alert and attentive to what the dream was saying. Just like with Gawain on May Day I didn’t take the dreams seriously enough...”<br/><br/>Morgana said nothing, too ashamed of her own failure. Gwen was gone. Morgana wondered where she was and what she was doing. She imagined her being transported through war-torn Albion to some far off place where no one would ever hope to find her. Gwen was gone, and she wanted to cry.<br/><br/>The young warlock could feel the distress seeping off her and freed his hand from hers to rest his arm across her shoulders. He found it hard to restrain tears also. Gwen was gone—one of his friends, his <em>best friend</em>... the first friend he made in Camelot. The girl that had approached him while he was locked in the stocks; that the knife-dodging-wonder Gregory had a crush on; that had nursed him when he was poisoned; that had kissed him and secretly harboured a crush on him. Merlin had almost forgotten that it was through that silly mistake with the letters that Gwen ended up falling in love with Arthur. Then she became the young woman that captured the heart of the prince and gave her own heart in return...<br/><br/>A thud hit hard in Merlin’s chest as he thought of Arthur. Gwen was gone and chances were he would never see her again. It wasn’t just the loss of a lover. The way his face lit up whenever she entered a room Merlin didn’t have to look hard to see just how much Arthur loved, cared and downright <em>adored</em> Guinevere. And now she was gone.<br/><br/>Merlin sighed and looked up at Gaius who had stood silently during his conversation with Morgana. All of a sudden he didn’t feel angry any more. He knew that Gwen wouldn’t have been angry, that she would have understood why Gaius did what he did, and Merlin hated being angry with Gaius.<br/><br/>“I know why you did what you did,” he finally said, and even Morgana concurred with Merlin’s words with a soft, distant nod of the head. “You couldn’t have done anything else.”<br/><br/>“I should have done more,” Gaius stated.<br/><br/>“I know,” Merlin said, not so forgiving as to justify Gaius’s actions, “but you still couldn’t refuse. Maybe if I had acted on Morgana’s dream—<em>our</em> dream—before now you would never have been forced to do it in the first place...”<br/><br/>Gaius stood quietly. He wanted to join Morgana in assuring Merlin that he shouldn’t lament over the dream but he didn’t want to push their good will too hard. There was also the matter of the dream itself. Merlin had said that both he and Morgana had seen Gwen’s exile last night in their dreams but made no mention of the fire, the blood or even Arthur... but now wasn’t the time for him to question that. They were all upset and angry with each other and themselves.<br/><br/>“She said goodbye before she left,” Gaius said softly. “She wanted you to know that.”<br/><br/>Merlin sniffed. “I only wish we could have done the same for her.” His hand rubbed Morgana’s shoulder soothingly for a moment longer before he gave her on last, quick embrace and got to his feet. “I have to see Arthur... will you be okay?”<br/><br/>Morgana sniffed and forced a smile. “I’ll be fine. Maybe I’ll speak to him... or to Uther, later.”<br/><br/>“Don’t push Uther too far if you do talk to him,” Merlin warned her.<br/><br/>“I don’t think I have the strength,” Morgana said quietly. “Besides... I’m counting on Arthur to silence Uther into shame. If he has any shame left, that is.”<br/><br/>-<br/><br/>Uther knew that Arthur would come to see him. It went without saying that once the prince was realised and found out what had happened he would come to see him. He expected his son to shout at him, to rile him and accuse him of every crime and every name he could think of. He wasn’t sure why, though, as it wasn’t exactly in character for Arthur. Uther didn’t want to think he thought he deserved it. Regardless of Arthur’s mood Uther was certain that Arthur would yell at him for locking him away in order to carry out the deed.<br/><br/>So when the door opened and Arthur walked in, the king was surprised that he stood in silence for what seemed like the longest time. There was only the sound of his breathing. It unnerved Uther to no end. He realised that Arthur was waiting for the servants and guards to leave the room. Sir Leon, Sir Geraint and Sir Kay were also in the room, but the look on Arthur’s face – distant – prompted them to run for cover. It was more unnerving than a look of anger.<br/><br/>When the door finally closed and it was just Uther and Arthur he took a few seconds before he finally said his piece.<br/><br/>“Congratulations, father” Arthur began, glance dropping to the floor. It was a look of defeat that he had wanted to hide from the servants, the guards and Leon, Geraint and Kay (Especially from Kay) but saw no point in hiding from his father. Uther already thought he had won. “You have managed to single-handedly destroy my hopes of love and happiness to satisfy your pointless dynamic plans.” He then looked up to reveal his dark and serious eyes, “But I assure you... it will only be a half-victory.”<br/><br/>Uther sighed. “If you would just let me explain...”<br/><br/>“Spare it,” the prince said firmly. “I don’t want to listen to it because there is nothing you can say that will make me sympathise with your ‘cause’ or plans. <em>Nothing</em>. I cannot give sympathy to a man who does not offer it himself.”<br/><br/>“Believe me,” Uther struggled to say, “You <em>do</em> have my sympathy. Both of you... have my sympathy.”<br/><br/>“How pleased I am to hear that!” Arthur snapped sarcastically. There were no words to describe his inner pain and he had no intention of voicing them to his father. To let his father know that he had broken his heart would not move him, and Arthur did not want his father’s sympathy. He wanted to hurt him. “As I said... regardless of what you did and how you feel this will be a small victory.”<br/><br/>Uther looked up. “You still refuse to marry Elaine?”<br/><br/>Arthur shrugged, “I’ll drag this out as long as I can, which I’ll admit won’t be long. But that isn’t the half-victory, father. This is; even if you manage to make me sign that treaty and take Elaine to the altar... <em>that</em> is far as I will ever go.”<br/><br/>The king stared at Arthur. “What do you mean?”<br/><br/>“It means that we will never know whether Elaine inherited Aunt Anna’s fertility,” Arthur said. “And if we do I shall use it as grounds for divorce but you can be assured I won’t lay a finger on her.”<br/><br/>Uther swallowed. He hadn’t thought of this and had only considered two; that Arthur would either finally relent or continue to resist. Never at any point did he consider the control that Arthur would have <em>after</em> marriage to Elaine. It sent a chill down Uther’s spine. The entire point of Arthur marrying <em>anyone</em> would be for him to produce heirs, heirs of royal blood to carry on the Pendragon dynasty... but Uther couldn’t <em>make</em> Arthur have children. He was supposed to do that himself; close the door on the wedding night and take it from there...<br/><br/>“You’ll do it in the end,” Uther challenged. “Duty will compel you.”<br/><br/>“My duty is to Camelot,” Arthur replied without a thought. “My duty is to protect the kingdom and the people, not to consummate a marriage I never wanted.”<br/><br/>Uther scoffed. “And when you are old, who will run your army for you? When you die, who will succeed you? You cannot fulfil your duty to Camelot unless you have an heir.”<br/><br/>“<em>I </em>will run the army as long as I am physically able,” Arthur replied smoothly. “I will <em>die</em> managing the knights and the army. I will leave Camelot’s fate into the hands of someone I trust. If Gawain is still alive, I will leave it to him, and if not to his son... or his brothers.”<br/><br/>Uther shot out of his chair in shock, his voice a gasp. “You would leave Camelot without an heir... and in the hands of another family?”<br/><br/>“Another family,” Arthur questioned. “Gawain <em>is</em> my family, as are his brothers and as too would be his sons. I trust Gawain, and will have more reason to trust him since he will, it seems, be my brother-in-law.”<br/><br/>“Yes, but...” Uther strained to speak again, “They are not <em>our</em> dynasty. They are from the House of Lot. You are speaking of purposely ending the Pendragon dynasty, bloodline... a family that has rightly ruled Camelot and resisted opposition from, from Saxons, Jutes, Picts, the great warlord Vortigern... for decades, <em>centuries</em>...”<br/><br/>Arthur waited for his father’s spluttering to tail off into nothing before he spoke again. When he did he spoke calmly and collectively. “I do not believe that a dynasty is greater than Camelot itself. Camelot will continue whether we rule or not. Besides,” he clenched his fists at his side and stood straight, “You have already sold our dynasty to Lot by making me marry his daughter. My heir would be of their dynasty just as much as ours. Camelot will fall under Lot’s influence regardless.”<br/><br/>Uther stood in silence, out of words to stammer.<br/><br/>“If you are so desperate for the Pendragon dynasty to continue,” Arthur said simply. “I suggest you remarry and have a child more amicable to your decisions. I hear Princess Elaine of Orkney might be very fertile...”<br/><br/>“Stop it, Arthur!” Uther snapped. “You’re being childish.”<br/><br/>“<em>I will never forgive you</em>,” Arthur said firmly, finally reaching the breaking point and saying the words his whole threat had been about. He took on step forward. “I will never, ever forgive you for taking her away from me, father. I will not have heirs with a woman I do not want, and if I cannot have them with the woman I do want I’d rather not have them at all.”<br/><br/>Uther looked away; these were the words he had been waiting for. He closed his eyes, hoping that he was right and Arthur would in time recover from this shock... but the resolve in his eyes was so certain. He heard the door open. Arthur had walked out and gone before Uther could even open his eyes and turn his head in the direction of the door.<br/><br/>Leon, Geraint and Kay all nodded their heads respectfully as Arthur walked out but he ignored them. They all then returned to the council room where Uther still stood. “Do you wish to continue with our meeting, sire?” Kay asked.<br/><br/>Uther snapped out of his daze. “Yes, this issue is important.”<br/><br/>“Because if not I can always take these notes straight to my father...” Kay went on.<br/><br/>“I said this issue is <em>important</em>,” the king snapped, silencing the young knight.<br/><br/>Outside in the corridor Merlin searched around for Arthur. After he heard that Arthur had been freed from the dungeons the first place he thought to look was his chambers but they were empty. There was no evidence to suggest Arthur had even been in there since he was locked away two nights ago. <em>It was only two nights ago</em>.<br/><br/>After half an hour of walking mindlessly through the castle looking for his master he decided to go to the training field. It was unlikely he would be there given the circumstances but he hoped that maybe Percival or Kay would be there who knew where he might be. The moment he appeared on the field Gregory rushed up to him, frantically. “Merlin!” his voice quivering, “Is it true? I can’t true... Is it? Gwen is gone?”<br/><br/>Merlin sighed. “Yes, it’s true...”<br/><br/>Gregory was obviously upset. Gwen had never known how he felt about her and, in reality he didn’t want her to know... but he has still liked her. It wasn’t just his hapless and hopeless crush on her; she had been a good person. And now she was gone.<br/><br/>“Gregory,” Percival called. The servant sadly turned and nodded. His master gave him a sympathetic smile, “Could you help Erec carry my brother’s armour, would you? His arm has only just come out of its sling.”<br/><br/>Gregory made and small nod and rushed away, ashamed of his flushed cheeks and slightly wet eyelids. Once he was gone Percival turned to Merlin. “I assume you are looking for Arthur?”<br/><br/>Merlin shrugged, “I can’t find him anywhere...”<br/><br/>“He’s on the roof,” Percival told him immediately. Merlin was taken aback and he smiled. “I don’t think he’s planning to jump off, Merlin. I passed him earlier and that was where he was headed. He hasn’t been here, and if he isn’t in his chambers I assume he’s still there.”<br/><br/>The knights all stopped their training to watch Merlin run off to find Arthur. The exile of Guinevere had come as a surprise to all of them too. They had not believed that Uther would go that far just to stop her relationship with his son. It must mean that Arthur was very serious about Gwen. It was a pity if that was the case; Arthur had lost his ‘girlfriend’ and the knights had lost their mascot. They had all quite liked Gwen. The only one who hadn’t was Lamorak but that was only because Arthur has threatened him for harassing Gwen and attacking Merlin. Whenever Lamorak tried to say a bad word about Gwen, the knights reminded him that Merlin had managed to punch him. That shut him up immediately. Not that it mattered now. Gwen was gone.<br/><br/>Merlin ran through the corridors, up the stairs until finally he came to the door that led to the roof overlooking the city, forests and hills in the distance. He walked out and saw Arthur immediately. He was leaning on the turrets, chin resting in his hand and eyes closed. He nearly leapt out of his skin when Merlin tapped his shoulder. Arthur shot up and looked at him. He was clutching something tight in his hands and he seemed to clasp it tighter in his hand, terrified that he might have dropped it over the side in the surprise.<br/><br/>“I’m sorry,” Merlin said quickly. “I didn’t mean to startle you...”<br/><br/>Arthur looked away grimly and resumed his position. “You have a wonderful knack for sneaking up on people at bad times, don’t you?”<br/><br/>“I was looking for you.”<br/><br/>“You’ve found me now.”<br/><br/>“Yes, I have.”<br/><br/>“What do you want?”<br/><br/>“I came to make sure you were alright.”<br/><br/>Arthur looked up with him and stood up straight away. He folded his arms, still clutching the object in his hand. Merlin finally noticed the silver sheen. It was the silver fairy. “I’m fine,”<br/><br/>He spoke in a tone that indicated the opposite, as he intended it to be. Merlin knew Arthur wasn’t alright. It went without saying. Guinevere was gone and he was heartbroken. He walked around in silence with nothing but a distant, forlorn look on his face. He stood on the roof looking over the distance where she had disappeared to and held the silver fairy she had never him in his hand, terrified of losing it or letting it go. Yet despite all his sorrow he was genuinely glad to see Merlin. He would never admit it though.<br/><br/>“I’m sorry.”<br/><br/>Arthur rubbed his eyes, worried that a tear had strayed. “I’m sorry too...”<br/><br/>And he was sorry. Guinevere was gone and it was his fault. Arthur couldn’t help but believe it was his fault, that there was something he could have done that could have hindered or prevented the situation. He knew though that his father couldn’t have just dreamed this us over night or the last week—he must have been planning it from the moment he found out that Arthur was in love with Gwen. It made Arthur feel sick. He felt like the tragic star-crossed hero in a tragedy. The pain in his heart spread throughout his entire body, aching away at his mind, arms and legs. He didn’t think the pain would ever go away. It would be a constant reminder of what he had lost...<br/><br/>Arthur hid his face in his hand again, once again worried that a tear might have loosened from his lids. “I’m so very sorry...” he muttered, and Merlin dared to place his hand on his shoulder once again.</p>
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